This was originally going to be in Loki's POV but I decided to do Thor instead that's why it took so long. Also I had exams. Officially out of school for now though so...I'll try to get another chapter up at lightspeed! :D
I'm...I can be honest on here you guys I'm not doing so hot. But I'm doing my best to force myself to stay happy. I'm happy, that's my story, and I'm sticking to it. Don't worry though none of this will effect my writing, I have a whole plan worked out for the next few chapters to sort of push Loki into that comfort zone with Steve. It'll be a fun journey I promise. Lol. Thanks again for all the reviews and follows and favorites though. I love you all!
Disclaimer: Does not own Marvel Universe
Warning: If anything it's language
Comments/critiques are welcomed!
Loki stumbles out of the library and fixes his hair, Steve following closely behind. They take a moment to rearrange their clothes. He gives Steve a smirk and helps him fix the buttons on his dress shirt, brushing some of his bangs back into place. Thor furrows his brow. He wasn't sure what was going on but he didn't like it. He didn't like that they were getting along again so soon and he didn't like that they had kissed. Thor especially didn't like that they'd kissed. Not because he and Steve were friends…because Loki was his little brother. Him in any kind of sexual or dating situation made him extremely uncomfortable no matter who it was…sexual situations were especially off limits. He'd held Fandral in a headlock for an hour one night until he apologized for playfully asking Loki to suck his dick. Thor was furious that Tony Stark had ended up dating Loki twice—breaking his heart and cheating on him both times—which only ended in Thor beating the shit out of him on the football field. Loki had a few other people he'd dated but Thor never liked it. And while Thor knew Steve would never do anything to hurt him it still made him uncomfortable. Now they were sneaking off and having conversations that Thor wasn't a part of…he didn't know how to feel about that either. Why did everyone have to be so secretive? What was worse was that Loki and Steve had had a falling out…Thor liked that they were getting along before but now that Loki was getting bullied because of Steve…he wasn't sure he wanted them around one another. Especially since Thor needed his best friend right now. His parents were fighting about Loki, people at school were fighting about Loki, everything was about Loki…and Thor needed someone to talk to. That wasn't going to happen if Loki was hogging Steve to himself.
Thor clears his throat to get their attention. Steve's face tints red as he slicks his hair into place, Loki giving Thor a look. "Yes, what is it?"
"Mum just wanted you to know dinner was on the table." Thor gives them a small smile. He turns to walk back down the hall towards the kitchen, hearing them whisper to one another as they follow him at a distance. It was making his stomach twist unpleasantly.
He couldn't just tell Loki he wasn't allowed to be friends with Steve though…that would just end in Loki hurting Steve's feelings and he couldn't tell Steve he wasn't allowed to be friends with Loki because then Thor would be the one hurting Steve's feelings. Either scenario Steve was the one getting hurt. And Thor especially didn't want that. He didn't like hurting people, not unless they deserved it. Just because Steve wanted to be friends with Loki didn't mean Thor had to punish him…kissing was still different, he was still a little wary about that.
Frigga touches Thor's shoulder and smiles. "Will you carry the turkey to the table, sweetheart? It's too heavy for me or your brother."
"Is dad still at the office?" Thor asks, lifting the bird with ease. He furrows his brow when his mother's face falls a bit. "Mum?"
"He's going to be late," she gives him a small smile, picking up one of the serving dishes and stopping when Thor blocks her way. He kisses her forehead and she makes a soft noise, resting her head on his shoulder for a moment. "Come on, love, I've already had your friends set the table. Are Loki and Steve coming?"
Thor nods. "Yeah, I told them you were ready." He follows Frigga into the dining room where everyone was already fighting for a seat. Thor feared that was going to be an issue…there were more people in the room Loki wasn't going to sit next to than was. Honestly Loki wouldn't even want to sit at the same table with most of them.
Fandral, Volstagg, and Hogun sat on one side—in that order—leaving the spot next to Fandral open for Sif who regrettably obliges. Thor sits at one head of the table, next to Sif, and Steve sits on the other side of him with Loki by Steve's side. Frigga then takes the empty seat next to Loki, leaving the other spot at the head of the table empty—Thor assumed it was for a 'just in case' situation. Everyone obviously knew better than to make Loki sit next to Odin if and when he showed up and sitting Loki next to Sif would only end in blood. Besides, Sif looked as though she wasn't going to sit anywhere other than Thor's side. Frigga finishes setting dishes on the table as well as a bottle of wine which Fandral, Volstagg, and Sif all hoot at, Frigga rolling her eyes. She tucks her dress under herself and sits down.
"You may each have one glass—oh, Steve, darling…" she frowns. "I—well, I don't know if your mother would mind if you-"
Steve gives her a shy smile, ignoring everyone looking at him. "If you don't feel comfortable giving me any that's just fine, Mrs. Odinson."
Frigga shakes her head. "No, no, I don't wish to be unfair to you. I'm sure everyone will be fine going without a glass this year-" Everyone groans except for Loki, who sipping his water. Thor was only teasing though. "Stop that! You can all go without alcohol for today, I'm sure."
"Mrs. Odinson-" Steve's face was growing increasingly redder. "I really don't mind…I'm not all that fond of wine anyways."
She sighs, sitting the bottle back down on the table and settling herself. "Well…as long as it's alright with you…I don't want you to feel unincluded, Steven. You are our guest after all." Frigga pours herself a glass of wine and then pours Loki's—who makes a face. She then passes it to Thor until the bottle makes its way around the table, Frigga setting it on the small serving table behind her. Thor gives Fandral and Volstagg a stern look when they both reach for their glasses before Frigga gives her toast. She stands and raises her glass with a small smile. "You'll have to excuse my husband being unable to dine with us this evening…he's—occupied with work unfortunately and does not know if he'll make it tonight." Thor watches curiously when Loki reaches his hand up to Frigga's to give it a small squeeze and quickly draws away. She forces her smile wider. "Here's too good friends a-and—and absent ones."
Everyone raises their glass to toast. "Good friends."
"Good friends," Thor mumbles, sipping his wine.
"Thor?"
He looks up, his mother giving him a smile and motioning towards the meat. "Would you mind-?" Thor stands and shifts around the table as they all start serving themselves, taking the carving knife from Frigga and cutting off servable portions of turkey. Loki whispers something to Frigga and she smiles, reaching under the table to give his hand a squeeze.
Thor didn't quite understand their relationship now. When they were growing up Loki and Frigga were always so close…their family couldn't go anywhere without Loki hanging on her hip. Of course Thor had a wonderful relationship with her as well but not like Loki's. There were little handshakes and secret kisses and jokes between them and special songs and meals…Frigga would sing certain songs when he was sad or sick and Loki always did the same for her. He always knew what flowers to get her for mother's day and what kind of card she'd want for Christmas. And when something was wrong Loki almost always went to her and when he did go to Thor on certain matters instead, Frigga always had a cup of tea for him and a hug, no questions asked. Thor's stomach tightens when he glances up at them. Things just weren't the same. At first it was just Loki who changed. Once Baldur was born Loki started spending more time with Thor and Darcy. Frigga had a new baby and Thor could sense that Loki was jealous. It was extremely easy to make Loki jealous and it was obvious that Loki was not fond of having a new baby around. He didn't hate Baldur he just—didn't like him. Frigga of course kept trying and Loki would humor her at times but…but once Loki found out he wasn't really hers…
"Thor, darling, that's enough for now," Frigga touches his arm lightly for him to stop. She thanks him and Thor nods, returning to his seat.
It wasn't as if Frigga didn't do all the same things with Thor. They had little handshakes and secret kisses and ways to cheer him up when he was sad or sick it was just that with Loki and Frigga there was this invisible closeness between them. Just like Thor had with Odin. Loki always wanted to make things with Frigga and Thor always wanted to wrestle with Odin. Thor looks up at the empty seat at the head of the table. Frigga and Odin were always so close too. They obviously loved one another and Thor could remember a time when they obviously loved Loki and him as well whether Loki remembered that or not. But now there was only fighting and travelling and Odin spending more and more time away from home. Frigga cried more and Loki yelled more and Thor was always, always angry. He didn't like that. He didn't like the changes.
Sif nudges him and gives him a playful look. "Are you in there?" Thor smiles. "We're all eating and you haven't even filled your plate with food yet. Besides…you haven't even said hello to me." Thor hears Loki make some sort of snorting noise, Sif shooting him a look.
He sighs, still smiling. "Apologies, Sif…how are you today?"
Fandral and Volstagg both laugh. "Hey, Sif, you didn't say hello to any of us! What makes Thor so special?"
"Yes," Volstagg agrees with a mouthful of food. "I would like a proper hello." Hogun nods. Sif just glares at them.
She rolls her eyes and picks up her wine to take a sip. "Hello, boys, how are you?"
"I cannot complain," Fandral grins. "There are a couple of lovely ladies dining with me this evening." Frigga chuckles and shakes her head. "And by ladies I'm referring to Ms. Frigga and Loki, you're by no means a lady, Sif." Loki shoots him a look and Sif punches his arm.
Volstagg nods. "The food is rather excellent."
"Though the conversation seems to be dragging," Hogun speaks up, chewing his food slowly.
"Oh, look who's talking!"
Thor laughs, starting to fill up his plate. Loki and Steve were having their own conversation on his one side and Sif was arguing with Fandral and Volstagg on his other. He takes his first bites of food and clears his throat, giving Steve a small nudge. Steve turns to him with a smile.
"Are you ready for playoffs tomorrow?"
Steve thinks for a moment and then laughs. "Oh yeah…since I'm not in Pennsylvania I guess I'll be going to the game." Thor grins. Steve gives a little shrug. "But sure I am. I've had a lot on my mind lately but…I shouldn't be too distracted tomorrow." Loki smirks, sipping his wine.
Frigga looks up from buttering her dinner roll. "Will you have a ride to the game, dear? I know that it's out of town and I'm sure Thor wouldn't mind going with you even if he's just watching."
"Mum-"
"N-no, ma'am, I'll just ride on the bus with the rest of the team," Steve blushes. "Not that you're not welcome t-to—to come…"
Sif makes a disapproving sound. "Thor, weren't you going to hang out with us?"
"Yeah, man, it's been a few weeks or something since we hung out," Fandral adds.
"Stop it, you two," Frigga scolds. "Everyone's been busy lately, I'm not so sure Thor's had a chance to hang out with anyone. You four could always go with Thor to the game."
Loki lets out a small laugh. "Ah, yes, but Jane could be there." His brother shoots him a grin and Thor rolls his eyes…but he couldn't help but smile. It was one of Loki's more harmless tricks to make the conversation liven up a bit. Thor had been avoiding introducing Jane to any of his friends. They had a tendency to…overreact when there was a girl Thor liked—and he had no problem admitting that he liked Jane. Everyone who saw them together automatically knew.
"Oh?" Sif's mouth twitches, her eyebrow raised. "Who's Jane?"
"Shame, shame," Fandral and Volstagg tease her. "Jealousy isn't a good color on you." Sif scowls at them and they take the hint, going back to their dinner. She looks at Thor, her eyebrow still raised as if expecting him to give some sort of explanation.
Thor just shrugs. "She's my tutor at school. We're friends."
"Ah, ah," Fandral and Volstagg laugh. "Once friend is said, you can't get her in bed—uhhh-" Frigga raises her brow at the two of them, the rest of the table snickering to themselves. They mumble their apologies.
Despite the lightness of conversation there was still an eerie sort of tension hovering over the table, Thor could sense it. Of course that's how things always were when Loki and Sif were in the same vicinity. Their distaste for one another started long before Loki's emotional fallout with everyone else. Sif had a tendency to—"tattle" on Loki to Frigga. Whether it was intentional or not Thor didn't know but it did frustrate him that she felt the need to play what he considered his role. He would never tell about certain things though…like that night Loki got sick and…and hurt himself—Thor kept that to himself. While he knew their mother meant well she could come off a bit over-bearing and smothering Loki only pushed him further away and Loki's wall-building was what made him crash so hard to the point Thor was spending nights in his room.
It was an odd combination, Thor's emotions. He went from the extreme of being jealous of all the attention Loki was receiving from his friends and his mother to the opposite of being constantly worried that Loki was going to snap at any moment which he knew to be the reason why his mother gave Loki so much attention. It was almost as if Thor understood why everyone put their attentions on Loki because he was doing the same even though it still made him uncomfortable. That and confused. Sometimes he wasn't sure if he should love Loki or hate him. He could be so unbearable but at the same time he was funny and clever and sensitive…and Thor could remember the good times: the pranks and sneaking out and misbehaving at father's office parties simply because Loki had talked him into it. Despite all of the lies and insults and fighting and all of the anger and bitterness Loki held inside him Thor couldn't forget that Loki was his little brother and that all he really wanted—all Thor wanted—was for him to be safe.
The landline rings.
Frigga stands, excusing herself, while Fandral and Volstagg continue to laugh amongst themselves, Steve and Loki now eating in silence. Well…sort of. Loki was only picking at his food. Thor starts making a second plate for himself and shares a grin with Steve, who does the same. Out of the many things Thor loved about Steve, looking similar had to be his favorite. If Steve went a week without shaving and Thor pulled his hair back they'd look like twins. He could still remember the first day he'd invited Steve over to his house. Frigga had greeted them at the door and kissed Steve's face before realizing her mistake. Of course now it didn't matter. He was over often enough that she kissed Steve's face in greeting regardless.
Steve clears his throat and turns towards Loki. "Are you sure you don't want anything else? You've hardly touched your food."
"I'm fine, Steven, thank you."
Sif glances towards the kitchen where Frigga had disappeared with the phone and leans forward on the table, quirking her brow. "So, Loki, having trouble making your own friends? You've moved on to stealing Thor's."
Fandral and Volstagg both bite their lips, wanting to laugh but most likely feeling the same kind of twisting in their gut that Thor was. It was the kind of feeling he got when Sif tried to push Loki's buttons. He shoots her a look and glances at Loki who calmly places his fork down. Steve's face had paled. Loki finishes off his glass of wine and sets the glass down with a sigh. "Sif, I doubt insulting my brother's friend for his choices in company is going to get you very far. You did come here in an attempt to get into my brother's pants, did you not?"
The tension between the two was only broken by the sound of Fandral and Volstagg holding back their laughter. Hogun however continues to eat his food calmly, paying none of them any mind. Thor glares at Loki. He knew Loki was naturally defensive but baiting her wasn't going to help anything.
"Om du vet att du inte kommer att göra det hemma bör du inte tala om för mig att du kan!" They all turn towards the kitchen when Frigga raises her voice. "Sedan inte komma hem!" She slams the landline back onto the receiver and walks back through the door into the dining room where everyone was pretending to be eating. Frigga gives them all a relaxed smile and tucks her hair behind her ear. "If you'll all excuse me…"
She exits the towards the stairs.
They continue to pick at their food, a few of them pushing their plates away. Thor chews on his bottom lip. Steve was the only one in the room who most likely had no idea what Frigga was saying over the phone but it didn't make it any less awkward. There was a slight tinge of blush on his cheeks. He sips his water and gives Thor a small smile.
Loki clears his throat and stands, picking up his plate. "Well…I suppose I'll clear the table then."
"Oh, what? Because you expected her to do it?" Sif snaps. Loki raises his brow. "You're such a self-centered little prick, I hope you know that."
"I didn't see you jumping up to do it I don't understand why you're giving me grief about this."
Sif sneers at him as he continues to collect the plates. "Do you not understand how much stress you put on her?"
"How is this my fault?" he narrows his eyes, setting the plates down and crossing his arms. "Odin's the one who's emotionally absent in their marriage, not me. I didn't tell him not to show up. I didn't tell him to choose work over Frigga. It's not like he'd listen to me anyways."
"Because you're the one who instigated all of this-"
"Sif," Thor growls, standing. "That's enough." She glares at him and tosses her hair over her shoulder, storming out of the room. Loki finishes collecting the plates.
Steve clears his throat, shifting to stand. "Do you want any-?"
"No."
Thor watches as Loki slips into the kitchen. Fandral, Volstagg, and Hogun all stand, Fandral giving Thor a playful punch on the shoulder as they walk past him. "We'll be in the living room, dude." Sif meant well, he was sure of it, just…not in Loki's best interests. Frigga was supportive of her despite her tomboyish nature that for some reason Sif's mother didn't quite understand. Thor knew Sif would be loyal to Frigga through all of this. Steve collects a few of the serving dishes from the table and gives Thor a smile when he passes him on his way to the kitchen, Thor making his way out into the living room.
He sighs.
Sif was sitting rigidly on the couch, arms crossed, and scowling at the guys as they attempt to set up the gaming system. Thor touches her shoulder lightly but she still shoots him a look. "I don't know why you stand up for him."
"I know you two don't get along but he hasn't-"
"He doesn't care about her anymore," she slumps down slightly. "Can't you see it? I know you're blinded by your love for him but I can't help but feel that-"
Thor sharpens his tone, interrupting her. "Enough, Sif." Fandral, Volstagg, and Hogun all turn to look at them. He shakes his head and sighs. This was not a conversation he wished to have. "Look-" he lowers his voice. "I get that you're worried about mum but I'm doing the best I can to make sure she's happy. Loki has enough going on, he can't be blamed for her misery, and he hasn't done anything wrong. He's treating everyone like an outsider right now and mum thinks the best thing to do is to give him his space. She doesn't expect him to bounce right back to her side whenever something's wrong."
"And you're just going to pretend you're okay with the fact he's moving in on Steve?"
They all stare at him Thor looking around at the four of them. He frowns. "What? It's not like any of you attempted to make peace with him after everything that's happened. It bothers me, yes, but it's not like Steven's going to just stop being friends with me!"
Hogun clears his throat, Thor turning to him as if he expected him to share some sort of words of wisdom that were going to make him feel better. Honestly Thor didn't want to share Steve. He didn't like that Steve and Loki were getting so close and he didn't like whatever it was that was going on between them. Hogun nods towards the kitchen. Thor turns his head slightly to watch Loki and Steve emptying all the leftover food into containers, Steve quickly lowering his head.
Loki slips back inside the house and looks around. While he'd mastered hiding the flushed look he gets after being pinned to a car door and kissed mercilessly it had been a while. And Steve wasn't exactly as gentle as Loki expected him to be…it hadn't even been 24 hours yet. Everyone seemed to have dispersed though. He slips past the kitchen, Thor helping Frigga with the dishes.
"Steven certainly seems taken with Loki, doesn't he?" she asks, drying off the dinner plates.
"Sure."
He pauses at the bottom of the stairs, listening into their conversation for only a moment.
"Thor, darling, don't be that way…" Frigga sighs. "Your brother's always had a difficult time making friends." Her tone softens. "Can't you share Steve? He seems to enjoy both your company. And…I don't think Steve makes friends easily either."
Thor grumbles. "You always make everything about Loki, mum! Steven's my closest friend that I've made here…when he hangs out with Loki—he doesn't hang out with me. I pretend it doesn't bother me but it does."
"I'm not asking you to stop being friends with him, Thor, I'm just asking for you to be patient with the situation…just for now-"
"Forget it."
Frigga sighs and Loki watches as her shadow approaches Thor to hug him. "Thor, darling, right now we're all making sacrifices to keep Loki happy…I know you feel like this isn't fair but-" she lowers her voice, "I don't want to do anything to trigger Loki right now. He's having a rough time at school-"
"See? SEE?!" Thor shouts, pulling away from her. "Everything's about him! Check on your brother, Thor, watch out for Loki, Thor, make sure Loki's not getting into trouble, Thor—you know maybe if he didn't walk around acting like he was better than everyone he wouldn't end up being bullied all the time!"
"Thor, that isn't-"
"I don't care! Why do we have to make sacrifices for someone who doesn't give a shit about us?!"
Loki bites his tongue. There was no point in involving himself into senseless fighting. Frigga would try to make everyone happy and Thor and Loki would both scream until she gave up and shut herself in her bedroom. He starts the trek up the stairs and attempts to drown out the rising voices by slamming his door behind him.
But even through his door he could hear Frigga's little sobs. "Your brother loves you, Thor, you know that! He's going through a lot right now why can't you understand that?!"
"Because I'm going through a lot too!" Thor roars. Loki could imagine the little squeak Frigga made. "We all are! Mum…" Thor's voice softens. "You're miserable. He's making you miserable, why do you keep trying to excuse everything he does? I know—I know that he's miserable as well but—I don't understand why you keep clinging to something that doesn't want you. I'm just…so tired of everyone at school asking why I stand up for him. It's difficult to keep coming up with excuses when people already think your little brother's a freak…I don't want you to be sad anymore, mum."
A freak. Loki wraps his arms around himself and backs himself into his door, sliding down onto the floor. He wasn't a freak, he wasn't, he was just…different. Different, that's all. Loki draws his knees up to his chin and covers his ears. There were voices…all of them screaming at him, telling him everything that he already knew… He buries his face into his knees and tries to drown them out. He tries to drown everything out.