A/N: I don't own the wrestlers! I do own Pixie and Betsy. As always, it's meant in fun.

The Mizard Of Odd

Chapter 64: Miz On The Run

"Why was the crowd evacuating the park?" Punk asked as Miz and the others climbed into the SUV.

"It's probably better if you don't ask," Miz said. He herded Randy into the vehicle and slid in himself, leaving Jeff to sit in the front with Punk.

"Okay then," Punk said. He started the vehicle. "Everyone in?"

"Did Pixie get back?" Miz asked.

"Yeah, she was at the car when we got here. She said she was glad we were going to drink Pepsi and celebrate her, and that we should convince as many people in the arena as we could to convert to straightedge tonight. And if we wanted to baptize them with Pepsi, that would be good, too."

"We're better off lying low, don't you think?" Jeff asked.

Punk shrugged. "Just repeating what Pixie said."

Randy turned to Miz. "That ice cream man will slowly wither away from the poison in his blood. He's got a death sentence because I bit him. Thank you, Miz."

Miz sighed. "How many times do I have to tell you you're not actually poisonous, Randy?"

"We'll see," Randy said with a creepy smile.

"I'm a kitchen knife," said Mark sleepily, leaning against Matt.

Matt stared at Mark, then sighed. "I guess Mark's an eating utensil again."

"It can't be as bad as the time he was a spork," Christian said with a shudder.

"Or a balloon," JJ added. "He kept yelling 'pop' and scaring Rey half to death."

"Yeah," Christian said. "That was a really bad day."

Matt chuckled. "Or what about that time he was Godzilla and kept roaring at people?"

"Are you sure that wasn't you, Jeff?" Christian said.

"Jeff?" Matt said, puzzled. "Geez, why do people always insist on calling me by my brother's name? I'm Matt."

"Matt?" Jeff said, turning to stare at his brother.

"Now see," Matt said. "That's Jeff." He blinked. "Hey! When did Jeff get here?"

"Forever ago," Punk said. "And now he won't go away."

"I would," Jeff said, "if I thought I could."

"I've got so much to tell you, Jeff," Matt said, leaning forward over the middle seat. "Can you switch places with me, Miz?"

"I don't know if that's smart," Miz said. "That would mean you're next to Randy." He turned to Randy, who had his mouth open. "And don't say it, Randy, or no more biting!"

"Aw," Randy said. "But I like it when he's Matthew!"

"I know," Miz muttered. "But I don't. Jeff, why don't you trade places with me?"

"Hello?" Punk said. "I'm driving here!"

"We'll be quick," Miz said. He unbuckled his seatbelt and stood up. "Jeff?"

"Okay," Jeff said. "Don't kill us, Punk."

"I'd just have Dad bring you back," Punk said casually.

Jeff glared at him, then turned to Miz. "Ready?"

"Yes." The two of them quickly shuffled between the seats, causing Punk to swerve. "Hey!" Miz said, nearly landing on him.

"Don't blame me!" Punk said. "You're the one who keeps trying to sit in my lap!"

"I do not," Miz grumbled, buckling his seatbelt. "You swerved."

"What's that noise?" Christian said from the backseat.

JJ looked back. "Um, Hornswoggle? Undertaker? We have a problem."

Punk checked his mirror. "Oh, for the love of Dad! I'm being pulled over!" He paused. "Unless you think I can outrun him in this?"

"Don't you dare!" Miz snapped. "We don't need a trip to jail on top of everything else!"

"They'll put me to sleep because I'm deadly," Randy said. "If we go, I'm going down biting."

"Don't bite anyone," Miz warned Randy.

Punk sighed and pulled the vehicle over. "You guys just shut up and let me do the talking, okay? Good thing I have my license on me, or we'd be in a lot of trouble."

"Like we're not already," Miz muttered. "What if they have an APB out on us?"

"Do you think you'd have gotten into SeaWorld if that were true?" Jeff asked, turning to Miz. "No, it's probably because Punk was all over the road just now."

"Shut up," Punk muttered. "Here comes the cop." He put on his best smile and waited for the policeman. "Is there a problem, officer?"

The policeman looked suspiciously at Punk. "License and registration please."

"Of course," Punk said, digging out his license. "Miz, will you get the registration?"

"Does it have one?" Miz asked.

"Of course it has one!" Punk turned to the policeman. "It's a rental," he said, handing over his license, then the registration and rental papers that Miz gave him.

"Uh huh," said the policeman. "Were you aware that you were swerving back there?"

"Yes," Punk said. "Sorry. My friend bumped me while he was reaching for something in the back and I swerved."

"I wasn't reaching for anything," Miz said. "I was trading seats with Jeff."

Punk turned to glare at Miz. "Anyway," he said to the policeman. "He bumped me, which is why I swerved."

"Have you been drinking today?" the policeman said.

"No, officer," Punk said. "Absolutely not."

"Then you won't mind getting out of the car and taking a field sobriety test," said the officer.

"Of course," Punk said, unbuckling and opening the door. "I don't mind at all." He shot Miz one final glare, then followed the officer around the back.

"Drinking too?" Christian said sadly, shaking his head. "First drugs and now this. Poor Punk. This straightedge thing isn't working out so well for him, is it?"

"He hasn't been drinking, Rey," JJ said.

"You can't deny the drugs though, can you?" Christian asked smugly.