A/N: I don't own the wrestlers! I do own Pixie and Betsy. As always, it's meant in fun.

A/N: The past few days, I've had some relief from the writer's block. Enough to get this chapter out. I'm hoping that it will continue, as I have plans for Miz and company that will span several more chapters. Also, this story has been in progress for a year as of July 1. Happy Mizzaversary, readers! :)

The Mizard Of Odd

Chapter 65: Miz And The Exit Strategy

Miz and the others watched through the back window with interest as Punk took the sobriety test. "I can't hear what they're saying," Randy complained.

"At least you can see them," Christian grumbled. "What's happening now, JJ?"

JJ said, "Hornswoggle is walking a line, and Prince Edward is watching."

"Who's Prince Edward?" Jeff asked, bewildered. "Is that another cat or something?"

"It's probably the cop," Miz said. "Why Prince Edward, though?"

"Why Spongebob?" Jeff muttered.

"Quiet guys, they're coming back," JJ said.

"Of course, officer," Punk was saying as they walked back. "I will certainly be more careful in the future."

"You do that," the policeman said, handing the license back to Punk before he climbed back into the SUV. "Keep it between the lines."

Punk nodded and adjusted his position on the seat, securing the seatbelt before looking back at the officer. "Thanks." When the cop started back to his car, Punk pulled away. "Well, that was interesting. I've never had to do a sobriety test before. Thanks a lot, Miz."

"New experiences are good for you," Miz said. "How did you keep from getting a ticket, anyway?"

"Nevermind that. You're lucky you didn't get a ticket. I can't believe you told him that you and Jeff were switching spots."

"Why not?" Miz asked, brow furrowed. "We were."

"That doesn't mean you have to share it with the world." His hands squeezed the steering wheel. "I think I need a break from driving."

"You just took a break," Christian said. "You were out socializing with that cop."

Punk growled. "I'm going to kick him," he said to Miz.

"Don't," Miz said. "We should just get to where we're going."

"Then maybe someone else should drive for a while," Punk said. "I don't trust the rest of you. Jeff, do you and Matt want to hang out up front?"

"Sounds good to me," Jeff said, glancing at his brother. "And it'll keep Matt away from Orton."

Randy pouted. "No one loves me anymore. Well, except for Jeff."

"I don't love you," Jeff said.

"Not you, the other Jeff."

"Other Jeff?" Matt said, confused. "What are you talking about, Orton?"

Randy smirked and leaned over to Matt. "I'm talking about Drew, of course."

Matt immediately stiffened, his eyes glazing over. "Oh, dad," Punk said. They hadn't gone more than a mile, but he was looking for an exit.

"What the hell is the matter with you?" Jeff demanded.

Randy shrugged. "I wouldn't use that tone with me, Spongebob. I'm poisonous."

Jeff glared. "How many times do I have to say, I'm not Spongebob?" He turned to Miz and Punk. "Let me out of this car right now."

"Let me find an exit," Punk said.

"No! I want out right now!" Jeff demanded. "I can't take any more of the craziness! I'd rather walk home than deal with you lot any more."

"You know where's in Florida, right?" Miz said.

"Oh, I'm aware," Jeff said. "Pull over."

Miz sighed and looked at Punk. "Maybe you should."

"In the middle of the freeway?" Punk said. "Look, there's an exit. It's less than a mile away. Why don't we pull over, maybe put some gas in the vehicle and everyone can get out and stretch."

"Fine," Jeff grumped. "But when we get there, I'm finding a phone and calling a cab."

"What about Matt?" Miz asked.

Jeff stared at his brother. "Who is he now, anyway?" He nudged his brother, who blinked and turned to stare darkly at him.

"I'd say Matthew," Miz said.

"Yay!" Randy said. "Matthew, guess what? I bit some guy at SeaWorld and now he's dying! Isn't that awesome?"

"For the millionth time, you're not poisonous, Randy," Miz said.

"I beg to differ," Jeff muttered. Randy shot him a triumphant glance.

"Jeff believes in me! I guess that means he can stay."

"I don't want to stay. I want to go! And I'm taking Matt with me. I'm going to get him the help he needs."

"What?" Randy said, snapping his head around so he could stare at Jeff. "You are NOT taking Matthew with you. He's my best friend."

"I don't care," Jeff said. "He needs help, not whatever this is."

"You aren't very nice, are you?" Randy said. "Matthew, do you want to go with Jeff or stay with me?"

Matt smirked. "Who says I want to stay with any of you?"

"Well, that was just rude," Randy grumbled. "It's my fault you're here instead of Matt."

"Don't think that fact is lost on me," Jeff said.

"No fighting until we're parked," Punk said. "And do it away from the vehicle." He sighed as they took the exit. "Do you see a gas station, Miz?"

"The sign says turn left," Miz advised him.

"Left!" Randy shrieked, causing Punk to jerk the wheel. "Why is it always left?"

"Damn it, Orton!" Punk said.

"Oh, look, Hornswoggle," JJ said, "your friend's back."

"What are you talking about?" Punk asked. He glanced to his side mirror, then groaned. "Not again!" Sure enough, the same cop car was tailing them off the exit, lights blinking. "This is all your fault," he growled at Miz.

"How is this my fault?" Miz said. "I didn't do anything this time."

"Why couldn't you find a gas station on the right side?" Punk said.

"Maybe you should try to outrun him," Randy suggested.

Punk glanced at Randy in his rearview mirror. "Shut up, Orton, or I'm asking him to take you in."

Randy glared at Punk. "You do and I'll bite you!"

"Guys, calm down," Miz said. "Just pull over, Punk. We'll work it out somehow."

"Yeah," Punk grumbled, "probably by being arrested. I didn't go straightedge so I could have a criminal record, you know."

"We've got a bigger problem than that if we get arrested," Miz said. "I don't know about the rest of you, but I don't want to go back to the hospital."