Title: Last Thing You'll Do
Author: Calliope-plantain
Rating: M
Pairing:Regina/Emma
Disclaimer: I do not own Once. All characters in this story sadly do not belong to me; they're simply being borrowed for a little while, and then will be returned. This story was not written for profit and no copyright infringements are intended.
Storyline: Regina could say her life was perfect… and then it got turned upside down.
Author's Note:So the finale … how are you all doing? As for this fic we're on the home stretch now guys.
Beta: Scarlet-Marauder awesomely encouraged me to write this, and then was my beta. So any mistakes she's missed and any feelings of distress are her fault ;)
An hour later found Snow and Charming fighting over where they would line their defence inside and out of the slowly forming sand castle about twenty feet from where Emma and Regina were laid upon a blanket. It really surprised Regina that it had taken her so long to get passed their defences in their land. Emma it seemed had brightened up considerably upon seeing their son carrying multiple buckets of sea water towards their chosen spot only to fall over a small sand dune and covering Snow in the water. Even Charming joined Regina as she allowed herself to laugh openly at the shriek of horror and fright, her former stepdaughter let out at her unexpected shower. Emma had also found Pongo peering over the wall above them rather funny. Regina had chuckled as the Dalmatian looked down at them all and more so when it was with an evil looking glare, the dog eyed up Henry's castle. The teen had not taken well to the possibility that the large dog might jump upon it, ruining his hard work. Thankfully they all heard Archie's voice from the distance calling the canine away from his mischievous plans to take down the sand fort.
Emma's smile was contagious and mirrored by the other adults around her. It was a smile Regina felt tighten painfully across her face when Emma moved to get a better view of their son and his bickering grandparents by resting her head against Regina's chest. She felt the familiar pang of apprehension when Snow looked over at them after hearing a rather large bark of Emma's laughter at something Henry had said. Only the look of disapproving never came. Not even a flicker of judgment graced the other fair woman's face, only a small saddened smile. It only deepened when her eyes rose to Regina's and she realised with a shock of comprehension she saw guilt etched upon Snow's face. Guilt and shame at what had been missed, lost and all things said and done.
For the first time in almost two years she saw acceptance in the other woman's eyes. Snow had had little choice in her acceptance of Regina in their lives because of Henry. The pixie haired woman however had fought tooth and nail over their relationship, making it abundantly clear of her disapproval in Emma's choice of partner. However seeing Snow looking back at her Regina couldn't help but wonder if this was the first time Snow had really saw them. Allowed herself to see what they were like together. Not The Evil Queen with her little girl but her daughter laughing with the woman she loved, with the person that made her truly happy.
"That is so not true" Henry exclaimed loudly pulling both brunette's from their silent conversation. Emma's chin was now resting upon her forearm which she had taken the luxury of lying across Regina shoulder and upper chest. Not that she minded in the slightest.
"It so is" Emma retorted back with as much vigour as their son. As Emma lifted her head from Regina's chest, the older woman could see the sparkle glistening in the blonde's eyes. The sparkle Regina hadn't seen in over five months. Regina risked a glance over at her former stepdaughter and was glad to see Snow looked as confused as Regina felt.
"No it's not" Charming supplied with a hearty chuckle to which Emma simply sat with her mouth open in disbelief. It was clear Regina and Snow had missed some sort of dispute between their children and partners. In fact from the look of annoyance on Emma's face, Regina was surprised the young woman wasn't sat with her arms cross in a sulk.
"Fine" Emma said with an air that clearly stated she still thought was correct. Henry simply snorted clearly finding his mother's refusal to see what he did as truth as humorous while Charming looked at his daughter with the exact same expression Emma had just been giving him. It was however almost in slow motion Regina watched Charming pick up the nearest bucket and throw its contents in Emma's direction.
The bucket was by no means full however the water inside covered Emma and by doing so Regina as well. Regina couldn't help but realise Emma's shriek was much like her mother's merely an hour ago. As Emma had been sitting up however she had faced, quite literally, the brunt of the attack while Regina was merely splashed. Everyone even Henry had their mouth open in shock. By the look on Charming's face it was a move he hadn't considered before carrying out.
"You're so dead" Emma stated with a forceful stand, clearly unaware of the impact of her words on the two other women present. Regina watched Snow's pale face lighten even further as Regina felt her stomach plummet. "Soaking The Saviour and Evil Queen…You're dead" Emma continues with mirth in her voice as she stepped over Regina towards her father. The look of surprise and possibly a dash of fear on Charming's face would normally give Regina a reason to laugh as her partner descended upon her father. Expect all she can feel was her stomach fastening in knots as Emma repeats the words "You're dead". Words that under any other circumstance, any other day would mean nothing. Would be just a throw away phrase. Except they meant everything.
"I didn't mean…argh" Charming said trying and failing to explain his actions before Emma all but tackled him. The man was forced backwards by his daughter and it was soft sand thankfully his head came in contact with. The fight continued almost silently apart from the grappling pair's occasional grunt and gasp as both fought for the upper hand. Several handfuls of sand were thrown at and scrubbed on the other's body.
Henry on the other hand was sat with a large grin upon his face until one of Charming's feet looked as if it was about to endanger his sandcastle. It was then the young teen jumped up and came to his birthmother's aid and held one of his grandfather's hands down. It earned him a look of absolute betrayal from the losing man.
Regina couldn't even fight nor hide her amusement at the father and daughter pair and now her son joining the fray. However it was with a bittersweet chuckle she couldn't stop the thoughts. She supposed those would never leave her train of thought now, even after Emma was gone. Why did everything have to start coming together when everything was falling apart? Why did Emma have to start making the relationships with her parents she had always wanted just before her time was up? How could the universe be so cruel as to give her a glimpse of what she could have had, only to rip it away? Glancing over she saw Snow snapping away on Henry's camera, committing the now almost wrestling trio to more than their memory but to film as well.
It was shortly after the sand wrestling that lunch was dished out. Regina watched as Emma's eyes widened at the size of the chicken sandwich she was passed by Snow. Each sandwich was as large however and the additional pies and sweet products from Granny's were not needed. Regina ate her sandwich with one eye on her younger partner who was clearly struggling with such a large feat. It was clear that Emma hadn't told Snow about her difficulty with eating in general never mind large portions. As Regina munched her way through her meal she couldn't help the familiar rush of annoyance at the pixie haired woman. Could she not have used her intellect and just seen the amount of weight Emma had lost over the recent months and realise it was largely caused by lack of appetite. She also felt a sickening pleasure at the realisation that she knew something about Emma's time away that Snow did not.
Regina watched as Emma reached for the container the sandwiches had been previously housed in and saw Snow's look of confusion. The former Queen begged anyone who was listening for the other brunette not to ask what Emma was doing, and was thankful when she did not. However clearly sensing people's gaze upon her the blonde looked up. There was a moment when Emma froze and both for Emma and Henry's sake she hoped Snow wouldn't make a fuss. It was Emma however who spoke first. "I'm saving it for later. Regina made me a big breakfast with pancakes so I'll just finish it later" Emma rambled and was thankful to see Snow nodding and accepting the answer.
The breakfast wasn't large, it was possibly larger than what she was used to normally but it was by no means big. Regina hadn't even considered what the breakfast might have meant when she made it. She had simply made the normal amount she would have done if Emma was well, and Emma had eaten them. Maybe that was for the best, to act if things were normal. Though maybe not if the result was chicken and salad sandwiches the size of a brick.
"You had pancakes!" Henry exclaimed and Regina openly smirked at the teen's reaction. She was also thankful for the distraction, as it seemed was Emma as her half sandwich was put back in the box without further scrutiny.
"Yeah they were all warm and covered in maple syrup" Emma explained excitedly, clearly over acting as she licked her lips as if the syrup had just been eaten.
"Moooom!" Henry moaned in her direction. Both the Charmings laughed at the young boy's reaction. It was with a slight shake of the head Regina managed to school her expression.
"Yes dear?" Regina asked politely, internally scolding herself for the hint of hilarity to her voice. Henry was looking at her with the big puppy eyes. Eyes she had been able to resist until Emma Swan started using them against her too. Two sets were much harder to battle than one. Thankfully Emma looked highly entertained.
"Can we have some for breakfast tomorrow?" Henry asked with a grin. The question threw Regina off kilter and it most certainly wasn't the response she had been expecting.
"Of course" Regina gave in easily and then saw both her son and partner's smile brighten. So easily pleased … and Regina wouldn't have it any other way.
"Mom?" Henry asked slightly hesitantly but she could still see his large puppy eyes looking over at her.
"Yes Henry?" she asked once again, not hiding her mirth this time. She was simply glad to see the worry that had flickered upon Emma's face when she was caught putting her food back was gone.
"Can we have some ice cream?" Henry asked carefully with a vague point up the beach. It was clear he wanted to know much he could get away with, just as he did when he was a child. Testing her limits. "Please?" the boy added and she saw Emma's silent laugh as Henry seemed to almost flutter his eyelashes at her.
"Okay" she replied simply. Getting up now that Emma was no longer laid on top of her was pretty easy and yet she still felt Emma's hand on the base of her back nonetheless. She was surprised to see Snow also getting to her feet as Henry used his grandfather to hoist himself upright.
"Tub of vanilla?" Snow shot to her husband and received a small nod in response.
Regina turned to see what Emma wanted and saw her smiling back at her, and was momentarily blindsided by it. "Same" Emma answered the unspoken question. Or had she asked it out loud. It was with a nod the two women and teenager started up the bank above them.
Once they had walked around the wall Pongo had been using as his advantage point, Henry ran across to where Emma and Charming were on the other side. For a terrifying moment Regina had this image of Henry driving off onto an unexpecting Emma or Charming. It wasn't a large drop but the boy could hurt him or one of those below if they weren't aware of what he was going to do. Both Regina and Snow chuckled audible however when they heard Henry call "Guard the castle". The reply was unheard from their distance away but clearly his mother and grandfather must have promised to guard it because the boy came back running past them and ran out of sight.
Snow had insisted upon buying the ice creams. All the family were bought plain vanilla tubs while Emma and Henry gotten chocolate toppings. Snow hadn't even paid before Henry started tucking into his with relish; it was almost as if he hadn't eaten one of Snow sandwiches, and one of Granny's bear claws. Walking back Henry and Snow were distracted by Grumpy and Nova, Regina wanting to ensure Emma's iced treat didn't melt simply stated she was going back. Once she reached the wall she briefly considered passing Emma's ice cream down to her, but decided better of it as it could be dropped and ruined. It took a moment for the former Queen to realise however she could hear the duo's voices.
"I know" Charming said softly, almost too softly for Regina to hear. She knew she shouldn't be listening but there was something in Charming's voice which told her she couldn't interrupt either. Should she go back and stand with Snow and Henry as they talk to the dwarf and fairy?
"What?" Emma asked somewhat harshly and Regina couldn't help but wonder what had been said before to make Emma talk to her father in such a way.
"I saw it in your eyes back at the apartment. You thought you'd forgotten about Henry's lessons" the former shepherd explained calming. The tone of it, the stillness in the words made Regina feel sick. Was the man right? Had Emma thought that? Was it that and not the fear of horses had Emma looking so taken aback by the idea of horse riding.
"I…" Emma stammered and the sound of uncertainly made the former Mayor's stomach almost lurch.
"Regina noticed it too" Charming continued as if Emma hadn't spoken. Perhaps it was for the best as the blonde couldn't seem to speak. Charming was right. She had noticed the shift in Emma's demeanour and had wondering if there was more than what Emma had let on, but she hadn't expected that.
"She did?" Emma asked her tone still full of uncertainly. Regina had questioned everything that had happened before Emma left, every conversation had, all words left unsaid. She had questioned every fight, every door slammed, and every deafening silence as they had lain in bed together and yet the world seemed to span between them. She knew what to look for now, knew the warning signs. Of course she noticed.
"Yes. I don't know if she realised what was going on in your head but she noticed. You can't keep shutting her out" Charming explained and Regina felt the tears pricking at her eyes. Charming had never openly questioned Emma's choice in her relationship with Regina. He for the most part had been accepting, no more or less than a concerned father. She didn't know of course what was said behind closed doors but to Regina and the town he had shown nothing but support. Right now she was getting a front row seat to a conversation she wasn't meant to be listening to, and she could feel the emotion almost choking her, freezing her in her place.
"I'm not. Believe me she knows more than I wish she did…" Emma explained and Regina could hear the other woman's own emotions getting the better of her. She hoped Charming was offering support to his daughter. Often Emma needed a simple touch when she got upset. A simple touch to make or break her, but it was often for the better regardless of the reaction. Emma held things in until a mere touch was enough to shatter her into a million pieces, only this time Regina couldn't pick up the fragments without them knowing she was listening. "Than…than she has to, you know?" Emma continued and Regina wasn't sure if she'd actually heard the young woman speak the words or simply imagined them.
"I know you wanted to protect her" Charming said his voice carrying clearly the several feet above him. Emma didn't reply to her father's words. She did not confirm nor deny his claim; because they both knew as did Regina that he was right. Emma had been trying to protect her. Regina knew that now. She had cursed Emma's ability to help and save those around her, only to run at the first sign of trouble when it came to her own family. Only she hadn't run out of cowardice, not in the way Regina had believed. Not that Regina believed what Emma had done was cowardly. She'd run because she believed it would save Regina and Henry in the long run. Would shelter them from what was to come.
"I remember what it's like…" Charming stated and Regina wasn't surprised when Emma didn't ask him to continue or elaborate because even she had no idea what he was talking about. She can almost picture Emma sitting with her arms crossed trying to block her father out.
"To not remember. To have these connections with people that you can feel but don't remember" Charming continued as if it's unimportant that his daughter didn't ask him what he meant. The man could see Emma, could gage her reaction. Maybe the emotions had simply gotten too much. It was with a chill she should not feel on a warm summer's day that Regina realised Charming was talking about his time after he awoke from his coma.
"I've never forgotten Regina" Emma snapped and Regina could almost sense the man she could not see jump at the tone. It was with a much calmer and sadder voice Emma continued. "At times I forgot what we were doing. Or I'd wake up in the middle of an argument and not remember what it was about" the other woman spoke her voice getting steadily louder but shook from the emotion behind the words. That was the worst part for Regina. Before she knew what was causing it all that is. The not knowing. Waking beside Emma and not knowing how she was going to be. Having Emma come home from work and not knowing if she was going to be loving or angry, avoidant or hateful. She had never been able to predict which Emma she was going to be and had found herself just trying to catch up.
"I'd feel the anger surging through me and not have a clue why" Emma continued but Regina heard the slight sob in the blonde's voice and felt the tubs of ice cream bend as her hands tightened around them. For Regina the worst "Emma" after hateful, was remorseful. She had on so many occasions just stopped fighting mid argument. Regina could see the look of terror she had worn upon her face at times after one of them had said something they shouldn't. She could see it and had almost hated Emma for it because as soon as that look had appeared upon her face the other woman would start apologising. Only Regina had still had the anger or hurt pulsing through her veins, usually far too strong to forgive Emma for what she'd said or done. Not yet. This was why; because Emma hadn't known. Not only did she have no control over some of the things she'd said during those months but she couldn't remember them either. Maybe that was a blessing.
"The hardest part was…" Emma's voice cracked but did not break. Not that it matter it still shattered Regina's heart and caused pain to shoot to her very soul. "Was "coming around" and seeing her. She'd look so angry and hurt…and it was my fault. I'd said something or done something and hurt her. I love her I'm not meant to hurt her" her love continued mournfully and felt as if someone had rammed a sword through Regina's chest and twisted. Regina could see in her mind's eye the crumpled face of the broken woman she had held in her arms as she cried late into the night. The silence that followed Emma's admission was thunderous. No words of reassurance fell from Charming's lips. All Regina could hear was her own laboured breathing. Emma had done and said some awful things, but it wasn't her fault. "Damn it Charming tell her that!" the former Queen repeated internally except it seemed her silent plea went unnoticed as the man remained silent.
"I pushed her away because the damage I was doing to her…to Henry was much worse than me leaving ever could. At least that's what I thought" Emma explained her voice dropping dangerously low and Regina felt herself pressing her body into the wall in an attempt to hear what was said next.
"You don't now?" Charming asked carefully and she heard Emma's loud sigh and was reminded of the same argument Emma and she had had the previous evening. An argument which had ended and started with many tears and Emma admitting she should have never left at all. Regina supposed she would find out if it was simply exhaustion and emotions which had led Emma to make the confession.
"She says she could have held my hand but it should have been me holding hers" Emma explained and Regina could visualise Emma biting her bottom lip and probably look at anywhere but her father and wanted nothing more to hold her love close to her.
"Or holding each other's" Charming suggested with a tone of faint jest. When she heard Emma's small huff of a laugh she knew it had had the desired effect and felt her heart warm at the man's words. Charming was right.
"I shouldn't have left her or Henry. Just trying to protect the ones you love from being hurt... when it's you that's doing it and you don't even remember. To see the pain you caused reflecting back at you…" Emma replied sadly, almost in a rush as if her own brain couldn't comprehend everything she was saying but wanted to get it out all in one go. For the first time Regina felt her tears break the barrier and fall down her face at the lost tone of her partner.
"Sounds difficult" Charming soothed and Regina fought the urge to laugh humourlessly because the man had clearly just stated the obvious. She smiled sadly at the bark of laughter from the other woman. It was nothing like Emma's beautiful laugh; it was full of sadness and irony.
"God you have no idea. At times it felt as if everyone was in on it. Everyone knew but there was this like secret code where no one could tell me. They were just pretending that I'd forgotten things to mess with me…" Emma explained hurriedly and Regina couldn't help but shake her head in disbelief. How had so much of this gone over Regina's head and how had Emma managed to hide so much from her?
"Like a practical joke" Charming finished softly with far too much understanding in his voice. The silence that followed was deafening even in the open space, it felt as if the children playing a few hundred yards away were miles away. Of course the man knew what it was like to go through what Emma had. He had gone through it himself. She, Regina had allowed him to go through it. She had listened to Emma describe her ordeal and felt her gut knot inside at the realisation she had caused Emma's father to go through that pain and uncertainty just as his daughter had been.
She felt the feeling tenfold at Emma's breathed "Yeah". Emma's tone however did not suggest that her father's understanding at her predicament was anything new or something to marvel at. Then it hit Regina so hard and fast it almost winded her. Emma had been distant with her father because she thought he might figure it all out. Snow had been too delighted to have that connection with her daughter that she had taken everything she could, while Charming had always been someone who watched. He noticed things. Regina could only assume Emma had been afraid that had she let her father in, he would figure out her secret. Yet another person Emma had closed off in order to protect them. It was her parents and Regina who should have been protecting her, not the other way around.
"She loves you, you know" Charming said steadily and Regina felt her heart skip at the man's tone. Once again it was not full of contempt as his wife's would have been only this time yesterday. He simply accepted things as they were, if Regina made his daughter happy then so be it. Though Regina also knew through the odd comment from Henry that Charming separated Regina the woman in love with his daughter, and the Evil Queen. Maybe it was for the best, as Emma had stated the previous evening that was no longer the person Regina was.
"I do, and I love her" Emma stated as a matter of fact and Regina couldn't help but smile at the simplicity of it. It was in the silence that followed the former Queen could hear running. As she turned she could see Henry being followed by Snow. She realised in that moment that she was still stood with two tub of slowly melting ice cream and now her son and former stepdaughter were coming towards her with speed. Also her partner and Charming behind her. Either way she was going to be caught eavesdropping on a conversation she had never intended to listen in on.
"You and Mom are going to have to look out for them" she heard Emma say even more loudly than anything else she'd heard and felt her heart skip and stomach flip. Emma should be looking out for them, and they looking out for Emma. They were a family, it was what family did. They were there for each other through everything, only Emma wouldn't be. There would be an empty place in their bed, at the family table, at every family occasion until the end of time. Emma was leaving them and none of them had a choice in the matter. They were helpless to stop it.
"Emma…" Charming shushed clearly not wanting to think of what was being asked of him, only to be cut off by the blonde.
"Dad please" Emma hissed back, and Regina felt the change at hearing Emma say the word. The word that had often felt and sounded so foreign and awkward coming from the Saviour's mouth. Regina heard Charming huff because he like her was not unaffected by the choice of wording Emma had used.
Snow and Henry were a matter of yards away from her. Thankfully Henry hadn't noticed anything was amiss but Snow had. She watched as Snow made a move to grab the teen boy but seemed to think better of it. Henry went racing passed her hiding place while Snow fixed her with a knowing looking. Despite Henry's speed and volume she still heard her lover's plea loud above anything else. "Promise me" Emma rushed obviously seeing Henry making his way down to them.
"I promise" Charming replied, the sound of defeat in his voice was almost crippling. It was the sound of parent who knew there were just some things in life that you can't protect your child from, and it was the most painful thing in the world.
The family had eaten their ice cream almost silently, except for Henry of course. The teen had rambled on needing turrets and a drawbridge amongst other things for his castle while Emma nodded along adding suggestions. Regina could feel the thickness in the air amongst the other adults. It was so dense it felt hard to breath in the light of the conversation she should have never listened to. Every so often she felt the eyes of Snow White upon her but refused to meet them and instead focused solely upon her love and their son.
Charming on the other hand seemed miles away, off in his own little world. It was only the expression he wore which showed the conflict within. Only his daughter and grandson weren't paying him any attention and if either did far too many questions would be asked or in Emma's case avoided. She could not concentration on him or Emma's mother right now; she needed to focus on Emma and Henry as they both laughed at an unheard joke. It was with a slightly heavier heart she joined in with a chuckle.
It was Regina who jumped up once the party had finished their ice creams and carried them in a stacked fashion over to the trash. Walking back to their spot she took in several other families around her. Families of different ages and sizes, families she'd cursed so long ago. Children making sandcastle much like her own son, parents laughing, reading or simply talking amongst themselves. They were happy completely unaware that one day their blissful lives could come to an end. That one day they could lose everything they held dear.
Or maybe these families knew better than most how fickle life was. How easy it was to wake up one day and have nothing left. Only unlike them, she wouldn't be reunited with her love after a curse was broken. It was her family that would shortly be fractured beyond repair. Their understanding and her part in their misery…maybe this was her punishment. She had finally been given what she had always wanted, but never thought she'd have and it felt amazing. Better than she had ever believed it would. Except she didn't deserve her happy ending.
Reaching her family she instantly saw Emma was no longer with them. Her boots with her socks sticking out of the top was all that remained of the absent blonde. Before she could ask where the other woman was, Snow answered without even looking up from what looked to be a mini Portcullis of sticks, "She went for a walk, said you'd know where".
She did know. Their place upon the beach. It was a larger sand dune further down the beach but most did not venture that far down. It was in the same spot Regina had realised her love for the other woman and the same patch of sand which had captured the telling of Regina's her first love almost a year ago. It was hard to believe eleven months had passed since that night. The night of her and Emma's anniversary. The night Emma had listened and she talked about her past and the other woman had comforted her. So much and so little had happened in the months since. So much Regina had planned to do and yet none of those things had happened, and now it looked as if they never would.
Behind the familiar rocks she found her lover in the spot she knew she would. The blonde was laid with her eyes closed and her cardigan balled beneath her head as a makeshift pillow. She looked peaceful as the slight breeze moved her hair around her face. The lines upon her face weren't as prominent and the summer sun had almost made the bags under her eyes disappear. She looked just as she always had. Her beautiful Emma.
"Are you going to stand there all day? Or do you want to join me?" Emma asked with an amused tone to her voice. Her eyes remained lightly closed but the smirk upon the other woman's lips made Regina smile, even if she did allow a small huff to pass by her lips. Emma's smirk deepened as Regina moved across to sit beside her.
There was silence between the two women as Regina looked out across the sand and sea. The salty scent that lingered in the air was refreshing. Watching the people swimming in the ocean and walking towards the vast water made Regina feel calm. She felt calmer still when Emma shuffled closer to her and she could see the former Sheriff rearranging her "pillow" out of the corner of her eye. Much like in their bedroom this little section of the beach was almost as if it was made for them. They could lock away the world and just bask in each other's company. Outside didn't matter and nothing could harm them in their little oasis.
"Emma?" Regina asked quietly as she turned to see her love's eyes were closed once more.
"Yeah" Emma replied just as quietly, almost as if she was afraid to puncture their little bubble.
"I…" Regina started without really knowing what she wanted to say. Hearing her hesitation the blonde's eyes opened confusion and concern flickering in their watery depths. She couldn't look into the jade eyes for long as words continued to fail her so turned her head once again. Children and their parents were splashing and shouting to each other across from them. She could feel Emma's gaze upon her, almost burning into her. Only Emma didn't speak. The other woman knew when she was to push and when to wait; it was one of things she loved about her. Emma could hold her own and often stood toe to toe with her, but she knew where the line was drawn. She knew when not to push too hard. No one had ever known Regina as well as Emma Swan, not even Henry and she doubted anyone would again.
"I was going to propose here" Regina admitted, feeling the familiar rush of stupidity wash over her. The same feeling she had over the last few months every time she thought about that diamond ring. The ring Emma had found the night she left. Before Emma had gone to Boston she had been so certain of their future and Emma's desire to be in hers, or her in Emma's. Then she left and it shattered every certainty Regina had. She had spent months second guessing herself and their relationship. She could and at times did, spend hours just analysing everything she could. Trying to figure out at what moment Emma had stopped loving her. Had stopped wanting that future she'd promised at Christmas. Only for her head to turn the argument on its head and try to force her to believe she was wrong. Emma had and did love her. It wasn't something the blonde could have faked. Her heart and brain had created riddle after riddle constraining her beliefs of what their relationship had been.
She heard Emma's timid gasp that sounded like an audible "Oh" of surprise. The other woman sat up so she was on level with Regina and she could hear Emma's breathing had changed. She could hear it over the small whistle of the wind as it was made the sand dance in front of them. She did not blame Emma for the pain she'd caused her before she left nor from her time in Boston but she couldn't ignore it either. It wasn't something she could brush under the living room rug and forget. The resounding banging of their future made that impossible. She had little choice but to keep going. Knowing why Emma had left, why she had claimed not to love her as Regina begged her to stay and why the other woman hadn't contacted her, was still paled by the pain it had caused her. It hurt even more because the love and devotion she felt for the former Sheriff was not enough to make any of this right.
"It was here I realised just how much I love you. Each time we come to our little patch it just…reinforces how right I was to accept your dinner invitation…" Regina continued as she watched the families playing together, living the life she'd always dreamed of. "In my own house" she added with a slight smile and was rewarded by Emma's chortle. She expected some type of comeback. Something about being unable to resist her, only it didn't come. This spot had changed her life in ways she hadn't imagined as she had shouted at Emma for being so foolhardy for trying to make her go for a walk in December on a freezing cold beach. She had of course succeeded because even months into their relationship there was very little Regina could refuse the blonde. Even before they had started seeing each other she had folded against Emma's strong nature. She had been so difficult to resist and Regina wished so hard that she hadn't for so long. Even an extra week would be a gift now. Time they wasted so early on when they could have been happy.
"It wasn't going to be grand because I know you wouldn't have liked it. Just us late at night on the beach. Even planned going down on one knee" Regina continued with a small but nervous chuckle as she fretfully rubbed the sand from her jeans. She heard what sounded like a sniff from her listening partner. Finally looking across at Emma the sight caused her breath to catch in her throat. The blonde had her head resting upon her knees which she was holding tight to her frame, as tears fell silently from her eyes; eyes that were looking straight at her. Eyes she was meant to looking into for the rest of their lives. She had never meant to make Emma cry, but she was thankful to see a smile upon Emma's lips; even if it was tainted by sadness.
"I would have said yes in a heartbeat", Emma answered her softly her voice thick with emotion and Regina couldn't help the rush of excitement that swamped her system. Almost as if she'd just asked and Emma had accepted her proposal. She remembered of course that Emma saying the night before that she'd wanted to marry Regina. Regina had dismissed it as a plight to gain the upper hand, further deepen the lies she had already dug within the former Queen's heart. In the light of Emma's confessions and prognosis she had forgotten. How had she forgotten those words? Those stuttered pleading words to make Regina understand it wasn't because she hadn't wanted to her wife that she'd left.
The brunette knew of the bittersweet smile that captured her lips at the idea; the idea of being Emma's wife and Emma hers. The idea of holding each other every night and waking in each other's arms only for a small child or two to come bursting in and haphazardly climb across them as they pretended to sleep. The idea of watching their eldest son graduate, getting married and having children of his own all while clasping the hand of the woman she loved. The promise of forever. That was what she had wanted. The promise that no matter what this woman would be by her side loving her for the rest of time, ready to fight all matter of battles they could face. She would have known then as Emma stood beside her at the alter that she had finally won at something.
"That's…" Regina said as released a resounding sigh. The feeling of happiness was idiotic and pointless because she knew now more than ever that her dreams were not going to come true. She knew the future she had wished for them would never come into fruition. She knew and yet it mattered very little to her as she felt Emma's hand come to rest upon her knee; the reassuring force Emma had always had over her. Things had changed so much in those months they had almost endlessly fought as Emma pulled away and then more so when Emma had left. Why and how were they getting back to where they were before it had all begun? Why was Regina letting it happen? It would only hurt in the long run, but she'd be damned if she did not let herself feel the happiness she felt at her lover's words and embrace. If this was all she had left she would hold onto it until there was nothing more to give
"There was just never the right moment …" Regina explained with another sigh that felt heavy in her chest. There was a point as they were laid upon a picnic blanket on Regina's birthday where the words had nearly popped out. The ring and all her planning were forgotten as Emma and Henry had begged her to make a wish in the old well. She had seen their future and had wanted to seize it, but the words had escaped her. She wished more than anything she had neglected her plans and just asked. She would have gotten to see Emma's beautiful smile as she said yes and hear their son make some comment about them being disgusting and too old to be kissing like that. She'd let the moment go just as she had so many others. That was her biggest regret in this world and this life above anything else she'd ever done. She'd let the moments go. Go unnoticed with the assumption they would have so many more that she would grasp onto and use to their full potential.
"And then the fighting…I kept waiting for it to stop" Regina continue letting her gaze fall and rest upon the soft sand in front of them, revelling in the warmth the hand upon her knee held. She had been certain once whatever was upsetting Emma was dealt with, once the other woman let her in, they'd be happy. Except they weren't. Not in the way Regina had hoped. That moment. That moment of relief had never happened. Would never happen.
"Regina…I'm" Emma spoke her tone mournful and one Regina did not want to hear.
"No. Don't" Regina said firmly cutting her off. She didn't not want hear Emma apologise again. She knew the remorse Emma felt at what she had done. She had heard her hushed confessions to her father. She knew, and did not want to hear them again, not when it wasn't Emma's fault. She would not hear them again. She easily took Emma's hand and turning her entire body around to face her love she saw the sorrow she had never wanted to see. "Please don't" Regina pleaded. She pleaded not to hear another apology. She pleaded to not be the cause of the pained expression on Emma's face. She pleaded for so many things that would never be theirs.
She watches as Emma's familiar nervous habit shows itself again and the white teeth bite into Emma's bottom lip. She watches as Emma clearly battles with her request. Battled the need to quell the need to express her regret at everything she'd caused. Regina couldn't and wouldn't blame Emma, not anymore. Not now she knew. "I would have said yes" Emma repeated that small sad smile etched upon her face once more. She'd take it. She's take it and run with Emma's hand in her own until their lungs burned with need for oxygen and their bodies broke from exhaustion. She would have her happy ending for as long as she could, even if it meant running until her heart gave out.
"I wouldn't have minded sharing your name" Regina retorts and loves the look of astonishment in the other woman's eyes. Simple shock at the idea, but a pleased and delighted shock that warmed her once darkened heart.
"Swan?" Emma asked incredulous as if she couldn't believe her ears.
"Yes of course Swan" the older woman replied with a slightly laugh and felt her grin form at the look of amazement upon Emma's face. Her eyes seemed to brighten at the prospect and she could almost see her love on their wedding day looking back at her with every ounce of love she possessed.
"Regina Swan" the other woman said slowly, letting it roll over her tongue as if testing it. Hearing it out loud made Regina's heart pound within her chest. It made her feel giddy. Who knew the former Evil Queen could feel "giddy". The feeling rose to euphoric at wide smile Emma threw at her. It made her look whole again. Completely and utterly healthy. It made her look just like her Emma in every aspect as the green eyes shimmered with delight. Regina finally had a home.
"Doesn't sound too bad now does it?" Regina said with a small chuckle delighted there were no signs of sadness left upon Emma's face.
"No it doesn't…" was Emma's breathless but still grinning reply. In that smile she could see her forever. She could see the three of them finally happy. Decades of trying to get her happy ending and she was handing the key to hers in her hands. Emma had been wrong, Emma was her happy ending.
She watched as the smile still stayed almost as if it was engraved upon the blonde's face as her other hand wiped away the fallen tears. She did however hear the low almost annoyed sounded groan from the blonde. Following Emma's gaze over her shoulder she saw Henry and the Charmings coming towards them. While the adults looked apologetic, their son look annoyed as his feet got caught in the soft sand and the bag he'd carried up onto the beach swinging in all directions.
It was Snow that gave Emma her shoes and purse, while Charming and Henry flopped upon the ground either side of them. "Everything okay?" Emma asked as Regina heard Henry sigh deeply. She wasn't used to sharing their spot with other people, though Emma didn't seem to mind so she'd try and let it go.
"Pongo" the three newcomers replied all in different tones. Henry's was defiantly the saddest. She saw Emma's smirk at their son's defeated tone, but was thankful when she saw the other woman throw out an arm to hug the awkward teen.
"Next time that beast will not defeat us" Emma said in a low tone that sounding oddly British. Henry shot her a confused look which could only ever be given to a parent from their child when they'd just said something utterly ridiculous. Emma's eyebrow arched into a clear challenge, though Henry's look of confusion only intensified. It was only when his body shot forward and tensed that Regina realised the hand that was wrapped around the boy had moved to tickle him.
"No!" Henry exclaimed as Emma seized her chance and her fingers were digging into their son's most ticklish flesh. Henry squirmed and chuckled beneath his mother's attack, causing sand to be kicked in every direction. Regina couldn't help but chuckle along with her son at the look of delight upon her lover's face as she effectively pinned the young boy against the sand. "Ma!" Henry kept repeating through bursts of laughter and it made the former Mayor's heart soar.
It was only once Henry started coughing and exclaiming he was about to "pee" himself that Emma relented and allowed the boy to sit up. The glare Henry shot at Emma for attacking him and Regina for letting her only caused both women to laugh out loud. It took several moments to crack the teen but even he grinned as Emma pulled him back into a more secure hug. Regina looked across a chuckle still erupting from her lungs to see Snow once again clicking away upon Henry's camera.
It wasn't long after the Charmings and Henry invaded their moment together that it was decided to go home. Regina couldn't remember as she, Emma and Henry drove home who had suggested their day out should be drawn to a close. However she knew it was for the best as she looked over at Emma in the passenger seat and saw the blonde fast asleep, her head resting against the window. She resisted the urge to audibly chortle as she looked back in her mirror to see their son mirroring his birth mother's current state. Clearly the sun and fresh air had wiped them both out.
Thankfully Henry stirred as they pulled into Mifflin Street and was fully awake as they pulled up. Sadly Regina hadn't been able to wake Emma quite as calmed as Henry had because as she turned the engine off Emma woke with a jerk. It was with a bewildered expression the blonde looked around and Regina could have easily scolded Henry for sniggering at Emma's reaction.
"You're okay. You're with Henry and I" Regina said firmly but kindly placing a hand against Emma's knee and hoped despite her annoyance at their teen son, he would still find it amusing rather than ask difficult questions. It took a moment for Emma to register the hand upon her knee or the words of comfort being offered to her; but it was with a low groan and a rub of her eyes in which she seemed to come back to reality.
"Crap I fell asleep" Emma grumbled groggily sounding rather annoyed, possibly at the fact she'd fallen asleep and that she had been woken up. Henry was still chuckling away to himself, at his mother's expense.
"It's fine. At least you weren't snoring like someone we both know" Regina said with a tone of jest, gesturing with her head to their teenage son.
The chuckling stopped instantly. "I do not snore!" Henry huffed.
"Yes you do" both his mothers answered with a chortle. Regina moved to get out of the car before remembering Emma hadn't put her shoes back on after she'd towelled them clean of sand. Before she could offer help, the blonde was out of the car barefooted, boots in one hand, her purse in the other and her cardigan over one arm. She couldn't help but laugh at Emma's careful footing on their drive to ensure she did not injure her feet while their son slammed the car door and took off with a sprint. The boy didn't look back at his parents as he let himself in the house and was out of sight.
"Want a hand?" Regina asked locking her car door and looking across to ensure Henry had done the same. He had. Regina watched with amusement as Emma all but ran the length of the paved walkway and leaping onto their porch as their son had done. Only the blonde stood and waited for her.
"No I've got it" Emma answered breezily with a grin. Maybe a little too breezily to explain the look of panic Regina had witness when Emma had awoken. She supposed Emma could have simply needed a moment to readjust to the world around her. It didn't have to mean anything bad or sinister. Regina wondered if she would ever stop second guessing the woman who was now waving her cardigan around to rid it sand. Something which Regina got a mouthful of as climbed the steps into their home.
"Thank you for that" Regina said with a face of disgust as Emma grinned sheepishly in her direction.
"Sorry" the other woman replied looking genuinely sorry, in fact more apologetic than a few grains of sand in the mouth warranted.
"I'm sure I'll be fine" the brunette replied trying to keep the situation as light as possible as she made her way passed Emma into the house. As expected Henry's shoes and jacket were in the doorway. It was with a sigh and the roll of her eyes Regina turned back to her partner. "Why don't you go up and have a little sleep and then we can eat when you wake up?" she asked and was surprised to see a small but thankful smile shining back at her.
"Okay but not too long" Emma replied easily, and Regina was honestly surprised at how easy it was. Regina took Emma's belonging with a nod, noting Emma kept a tight a hold of her purse as she walked passed her and up the stairs without looking back. It was hardly a surprise when the item held the medication Emma needed to keep fighting this battle they'd found themselves in. It was odd to her that something as small as a purse and its contents could literally keep her lover alive. Regina would of course get anything Emma needed but if it Emma feel safer to have her bag with her then so be it.
Hanging up the family's belongs, and placing their shoes upon the stand Regina followed the other woman. She found Emma face down at the base of the bed. At least she was on her own side. She'd made it that far. "Come on Emma" Regina encouraged as softly as she could and heard Emma's groan in response. It was in slow motion she watched the feet which were only inches above the ground come to stand upon it, and slightly hunched Emma walked to the head of the bed.
"Can you pass me some pajamas" Emma asked with a gesture of her hand. Despite Emma's like for being comfortable she rarely got ready for bed this early. Or maybe she did now. If last night was anything to go by, Emma's sleeping pattern was truly broken. Maybe the blonde's schedule had changed in her time away. Instead of answering Regina turned and pulled out a top and pajama bottoms from one of Emma's boxes and passed them to the blonde. The other woman didn't own nor believe in owning pairs of pajamas, which was why she had a small selection of pajama bottoms and an extensive number of tops she could mix and match.
It took her a moment to realise Emma was simply staring at the clothing she'd just passed her. The blonde wasn't even moving. "Emma, are you okay?" Regina asked timidly. The former sheriff nodded but apart from that did not move or speak.
"Do you need help?" Regina asked carefully and watched as Emma nodded again. "Okay" she answered trying to swallow the lump that had just appeared in her throat. Regina stepped forward and came to kneel at Emma's feet. She could do this. She'd undressed Emma before. Lots of times in fact. Only there was nothing sexy about this. But it was just as intimate as Regina unbuckled Emma's belt, taking care not to damage the torn belt loop further. She would have to fix that tomorrow. Emma's tired eyes did not leave Regina's as she tilted her hips to allow the older woman to slip the jeans from them and down her legs.
Regina was determined not to lose it as the pajama bottoms were pulled up and over Emma's slender hips. Hips she could feel, sticking out more than they had ever done before. Emma had always been lean. She had been fit. Rather unfairly so, despite the junk food the woman forced into her body she had always managed to maintain a good figure. One significantly larger than the one she donned now.
The former Queen bite her lip to stop the audible gasp of emotion as Emma laid her head upon Regina's shoulder with a low and exhausted tone. "We're almost done" Regina encouraged, even hearing her voice strain against the internal conflict. She let Emma rest her head against her shoulder a few moments before moving away slightly. It wouldn't do Emma any good if she fell asleep in that position. Much like the bottom half, Regina changed Emma's top and replaced it with the new bed wear as Emma seemingly stared on.
Thankfully the bed had not been made from Emma climbing out of it that morning, so all it took was Regina to pull back the cover for Emma to lie back where she sat. She shifted maybe an inch to ensure her head hit the pillow, which is just managed to do. When Regina went to cover the young woman up however her wrist was grabbed with a slight whine. "Lie with me?" Emma asked with a small drone, her eyes already closed.
"Okay" Regina gave in without difficulty. She wasn't in the mood to deny Emma nor did she want to, but as she moved to cover Emma up once again so she could go to her side she felt Emma tug her forward. It wasn't so much a tug but more like a small pull, barely resistance at all.
"Here" Emma stated pulling her again. Regina didn't sleep on Emma's side. It felt uncomfortable and abnormal. She only fell asleep on Emma's side after hours of mind blowing sex and she was unable to move. The pull happened again only more forcefully this time.
"Okay. Okay" Regina rushed not wanting to distress the drained woman. Climbing into their bed from this side made her feel strange, but the feeling didn't last long as she curled around the younger woman; cradling her in her arms. Emma instantly snuggled into her with a content sigh.
Despite her obvious exhaustion it took almost thirty minutes for Emma's breathing to even out completely. Regina simply lay cocooned by Emma's warmth playing with the strands of hair beside the hand she'd slid beneath Emma's head. She couldn't stop looking at the face inches away from her own and smiling as the other woman's breathe tickled her face as the jade eyes flickered beneath their lids.
She somehow managed to extract herself from Emma's limbs as carefully as she could once she'd been laid there for almost an hour. As quickly and quietly as she could Regina ran around the room collecting the clothes they had left upon the bedroom floor the evening before and added them to Emma's newly discarded ones. With the same level of care she collected their dirty mugs that had been all but forgotten about in the dramas that had unfolded in this very room merely twelve hours ago. She only winced once when Emma's cup made an audible "ting" against hers. Thankfully Emma did not stir.
Laundry was sorted and a cycle started as Regina busied herself, not allowing herself to consider the conversation she knew was coming. The conversation in which she'd have a hand in breaking her little boy's heart. It would destroy Henry and she'd have to watch as that gorgeous smile of his slipped away and in seconds that baby face would age beyond his years. She could suggest they put it off another night. What did one more day matter? They're little family could be happy just one more day. Only she could never ask Emma for such a thing. To even suggest it after everything Regina had said the evening before would make her a hypocrite, but the desire to do it was so powerful it nearly consumed her. They couldn't keep pretending anymore. They had to stop pretending that they stood a chance or that they could fight any of this. It was coming at full speed, head lowered as it charged.
There was nothing she could do and so the bowls that had held the pancake mixture were steeped while more fragile things were washed by hand. She could do the meaningless things. The things that no one ever noticed but made life easier. The dishwasher would be set away after their evening meal, another thing she could do for her family. She could provide. She could remain strong and keep ploughing on with a brave face. For Emma and their son.
Henry as expected had been engrossed in whatever game he was playing in his room as she had struggled passed his door with their dirty laundry. The look of complete concentration upon his face that she had seen through the door left ajar had reminded her so much of his birth mother it was astounding. There was once a time she hated any familiarities she noticed between the young boy and Emma in the first year of Emma's stay in Storybrooke. But then she came to treasure it. She noticed everything, the similarities and differences. She had come to love each and every one as she watched the two people she loved most interact over the last two years.
It was with a cold chill she was hit squarely in the stomach at the thought of what was she going to feel once Emma left them. What would she feel as she looked at her son and saw his birth mother looking back at her? Would she feel relief she had this piece of Emma that they had both loved far more than either believed possible? Or would she feel sadness and then shame at her inability to look upon her little boy's face without seeing the woman that had left them behind?
The thought of a life without Emma was too much to bear without thinking of such things. How was she going to face each day? Look after Henry alone? She had for ten years of course but she had been given a glimpse of true happiness. She had prepared meals for her family in this very kitchen, and laughed, joked and told stories about their day at work or school as they ate them. She'd watched ridiculous superhero and action films just because Emma and Henry had wanted her to. She'd snuggled under blankets with Emma as the other woman cried over romantic comedies and chick flicks. She had danced around their living room with Emma as the blonde blasted severely out of date music even for Regina. She'd held Emma close, made love and whispered promises of forever in the place that finally felt like home. How was all this going to come to an end? How could this be the ending of the Saviour's story?
It was unfair on Henry that his birth mother would leave them far too soon. He worshiped the ground she walked on. He believed in happy endings. He believed in a good and just world. Only this world was not either of those things. She had known that when she cast the curse. It was why she cast the curse. This world was known for its horribleness. Except she was meant to get her happy ending. Emma was meant to bring back the happy endings, only Regina hadn't realised she was the only one that would not get one. She had believed after everything she had done to redeem herself, that this would be her reward. She would get her dream come true only to have the chair knocked out from beneath her at the last moment.
They could have days like this one for the rest of Emma's life. Days they'd remember for the rest of theirs. Happy days. Days in which nothing really mattered, because little else did now. Maybe they could pull Henry from school? He'd only miss a few months. A few months, that was all they had left. She'd have to discuss it with Emma. Henry's education was important of course, but she didn't care. His time with Emma was worth more. He could always take extra classes, or go to summer school. This was the only time he had left with his birth mother and Regina was going to make sure they all used it the best they could. Not wasting a moment of it.
As Regina stood in her dimly lit kitchen she realised just how much time had passed since she entered the room. The summer sun was low in the sky but was nowhere near setting. She could hear the second lot of laundry in the washing machine, the first in the dryer. Emma's forgotten clothes were folded in a neat pile at the bottom of the stairs waiting to go up along with other laundry that had been piling up. She was in no mood to iron that could wait until tomorrow.
Opening the fridge she noted the distinct lack of food it held. She had planned to do her weekly shop after Henry's riding lesson as she had become accustomed to, but Emma's return had somewhat invaded and changed her plans. She hadn't even thought about what they'd eat for dinner. She could go to Granny's. She couldn't be bothered to go and do her shopping now. She'd do it tomorrow. Another job on her rapidly increasing to do list.
She walked through their silent home, collecting the folded laundry as she went. Henry was laid in the same position he was almost two hours ago when she had seen him last. She placed his now clean clothes next to him, so the teen could put them away. "I'm going to Granny's what would you like?" she asked feeling the day events starting to weigh her down. While part of her did not want the conversation with the teen, she couldn't wait for the day to end so she could climb into bed with her lover and hold her close as they both fell into dreams of what could have been.
"Burger and fries" Henry replied barely looking up from his game. It was with an eye roll Regina gave an unnecessary nod and left the boy to play. Anything to keep him happy for a moment longer.
She was surprised when she attempted to enter the master bedroom as quietly as she could to see Emma was half sitting up, propped by her pillows; phone in hand. "How are you feeling?" Regina asked trying to sound as light-hearted as she could, while still sounded caring. Emma certainly looked better and more aware of her surroundings.
It was with a stretch and slight groan Emma replied, "Better. Mom's been texting me though". Regina resisted the urge to scowl as she placed their clean laundry upon the dresser.
"You should have just turned it off" Regina said not unkindly but she was under no illusion that the meaning behind her words would be understood. She heard Emma sigh and felt a slither of guilt trickle into her midriff as she put various pieces of clothing in their allocated drawers. It felt good to be putting things back in Emma's drawers, even if they were empty. Like they were starting afresh.
"She's coming over" Emma said yawning loudly which caused Regina's blood to run cold. She'd spent the day with the woman. She understood Emma's desire to spend time with her parents, and Snow and Charming's need to be close to their daughter but she didn't want them here. She wanted family time. Her family time with Emma and Henry. Just them. But she couldn't but wonder if she was being unreasonable. But if they were going to break the news to their son she wanted to do it with only Emma, without an audience. She did not want them to see the boy's heart break.
She could feel Emma's gaze upon her as the last of their clothing went into its rightful drawer. Before she turned she knew Emma was watching her and was rewarded by a knowing looking being aimed right at her when she did. "Henry left his homework so they're just bringing it over as they thought we'd want tomorrow to be just us" Emma explained never breaking eye contact and Regina couldn't help but feel guilty. The Charmings were actually doing things to help them. Regina wondered when Emma had told Snow they were going to tell Henry tonight.
"Okay" Regina replied timidly and watched as a crease formed between the blonde's eyes. The crease that told the former Queen that Emma was thinking about something. "I'm going to Granny's, do you want anything?" Regina asked momentarily annoyed at herself for her wording. If Emma wasn't ill she would have simply asked what Emma wanted, not if she wanted something. She supposed it was better to ask than assume.
"Burger and fries?" Emma asked sheepishly with a small grin. Mother like son. She just nodded with a chuckle. Why was she ever surprised? "What? I'm supposed to eat high calorie foods when I'm hungry" Emma supplied looking despite the smile on her face a little uneasy. It broke her heart just a little at the look upon Emma's face. She looked so uncertain with her confession.
"Only you would get an illness that requires you to eat junk food" Regina said with a shake her head but was glad to see a small smile appear upon Emma's face. She was happier still when she heard she small burst of laughter fill the room.
"What?" she asked. While her attempt at humour was meant to make Emma feel better the glee in her laughter was a little more than she had expected.
"Nothing. I'm just glad to see you're at the joking stage. Jokes and facts have kept my sprites up" the other woman said altering her position slightly. Emma didn't look offended but she did look slightly stern.
"Oh" Regina replied quietly not entirely sure of what to say.
"If I don't eat it all the kid will finish it off right?" the blonde inquired with a look Regina had yet to see upon her face. It almost looked like shame, only there was something else. Something else Regina couldn't name.
"Henry will eat pretty much anything you put in front of him. It wouldn't go to waste" Regina replied once again trying to keep it as light as possible. "Henry is in his room but just let him answer the door so you don't have to get out of bed" the brunette suggested as airily as she could but saw the grateful nod she got in return.
"I was wondering if we should tell him after we eat." Emma said to the throw covering her. The time was fast approaching them. They had to do it. Maybe it would be like a band aid. Better if just ripped off quickly, not drawn out. They would tell Henry and then comfort him best they could.
"I was thinking the same" Regina answered careful, painfully aware of the constriction in her throat. She could do this. They could do this. It wouldn't be okay, but it would be manageable, together. Emma looked back at her with her sad eyes, and she knew the emotion in them and knew Emma would be able to see it hers. There was no running from this. The small smile Emma gave her did nothing to calm the ache she felt inside. Once they told Henry it would be real. Other people would know and they wouldn't be able to hide it. Everyone would know Emma had cancer. It would be so and undeniably real.
"I should go" Regina gestured behind her to the bedroom door and watched as Emma nodded. The blonde did not move to take hold of Regina's hand but clutched the cover closer still to her. Maybe it was for the rest they did not seek comfort in one other just yet. If Regina took a hold of the ill woman she might never let her go. But as she turned to leave she couldn't resist the need to hear Emma's beautiful laugh once more. One she was rewarded with as she called over her shoulder "If I go now I might be able to avoid your mother".
Regina was both surprised and thankful to see the Charming duo drive passed her at the end of Mifflin. It was with a slight wave she acknowledged their presence, silently thankful it would mean they'd be gone by the time she got back. The roads were empty just as they always were this time of night. It was as if a deathly calm took a hold of the town. There was barely anyone upon the streets as she neared the diner, but the small establishment was buzzing from within.
No one looked over at her as she entered and not a single person acknowledged her presence as made her way to the counter. Just yesterday she had been thankful that no one paid her any attention anymore. But today was different. Everything had changed since she entered the small diner yesterday. Her life had been turned on its head and spiralled so out of her control she didn't know what to do or which way was up. Everyone was just as they were yesterday, because their lives were just going on as normal.
Ruby took her order as she always did and she thankful for the genuine smile. A rush of fondness of the waitress crept over her as she gave a pale imitation back. But she couldn't help the urge to scream as one of the dwarfs laughed openly as his dining companion made an unheard joke. She supposed it was true what they say. Life goes on. Except hers wasn't. From the moment Emma had muttered the words of her fate, Regina's life had frozen. She would age and the seasons would pass with the leaves changing colours before falling off in time for the snow to fall. Time would pass but her life would be stuck. She would be stuck in that moment for the rest of her life because how was she supposed to just move on from that?
Clutching their meals in various containers and bags Regina made her way back to her car. The fact that it was the end of June still amazed her. Half of the year had passed and she had very little to show for it. It had been a little over six months since Emma had confessed of having dreams of their future children and a little less than six months since Regina had bought Emma's engagement ring. Six months ago her vision of what her life would be was very different from where she was today.
As she slipped into the driver's seat she felt her phone vibrate. She silently pleaded it wasn't Emma with food requests from her parents. Please be anything but that. She wasn't surprised when she pulled out the small device that the message was in fact from her partner. As quickly as she could she unlocked her phone and opened the message and barely registered the anguish filled cry that fell from her open mouth as read the words, "Come home! Henry knows x". Food bags still clutched in her hand the former Queen disappeared in a cloud of purple smoke.