A/N: I don't own the wrestlers! I do own Pixie and Betsy. As always, it's meant in fun.
The Mizard Of Odd
Chapter 67: Miz Comes To Terms
"He was nice," Miz commented, as Punk pulled the SUV back onto the road.
Punk took a second to glare at Miz before he turned his eyes back to the pavement in front of them. "Everyone be still and be quiet."
"I'm a quiet," Mark said softly.
Punk sighed. "I'll be glad when this is all over. Thank Dad he didn't haul the lot of us in after what you said to him, Miz."
"What?" Miz said. "I told him the truth."
"Sure," Punk said. "Because talking to cats and candy are perfectly normal."
Miz frowned. "Where is Mizbert, anyway? I haven't been able to locate her for some time."
"I put the bag under the seat for safekeeping, Undertaker," JJ said.
"Oh, thanks." Miz nodded. "Now that you mention it, I can hear something…" He leaned down and dug under the seat. "Ah ha!"
"Get me ouuuut!" Mizbert was screaming.
"Are you okay?" Miz asked, opening the bag to peer in at the marshmallow.
"No I am not!" said Mizbert. "I've been under this seat for weeks!"
"We haven't had the car that long," Miz said, soothingly. "And we haven't been on the road that long. Heck, I haven't even known you that long."
"Are you calling me a liar?" Mizbert de
manded.
"No…" Miz said.
"Besides, I don't measure time in your years. I measure it in Mizmallow time!"
"I wasn't aware such a thing existed," Miz said.
Punk glared at the road. "I thought everyone was going to be quiet."
"Sorry," Miz said. "Mizbert's mad at me."
"Mizbert is a marshmallow," Punk said. "He should be mad at the world."
"She," Miz corrected.
"I think the lot of you are gender confused," Punk said. "Betsy's a boy, Mizbert's a girl, and Mark's a whatever he feels like at that moment."
"I'm a quiet," Mark said.
"Yes, but are you a boy quiet or a girl quiet?" Punk asked, which made Mark a very quiet quiet.
"I don't think quiet has a gender," Christian said thoughtfully.
"Whatever," Punk said, sighing in relief when he could pull the SUV off at the exit. He pulled into a gas station and parked next to one of the pumps, then turned so he could face the others in the back. "Let's get some gas, maybe have lunch, and regroup. Anyone who doesn't want to stay doesn't have to."
"I'd like to talk to Jeff before he and Matt leave," Miz said. "Punk? You want to come?"
Punk glanced back in his rearview mirror. "Probably not wise. Someone should keep an eye on Matthew and Randy. They've been whispering the entire time we've been back on the road."
Miz nodded. "How about it, Jeff?"
"I'd rather not," Jeff said. "I just want to get home and get my brother some help."
"I understand," Miz said. "But this plot is against him, too. He was kidnapped and held against his will in that hospital while some imposter took his place. Don't you think you owe it to him to catch the people responsible and have them put away for good?"
"I somehow doubt anyone could put Vince away for good," Punk said. "The man's like a mob boss. He could deny he knew about it and have someone else take the fall for him."
"I know he knew about it," Miz said. "I talked to him and HHH about it."
"So now it's two against one," Punk said. "Who do you think HHH will side with? You?"
"He's the one who drugged me," Miz said.
"So you're crazy and you are going to accuse the two men who run the company of something that sounds insane. Yeah, that'll get you far."
"Look, I just want some justice!"
"We all do," said Punk. "But we probably won't get it."
"We will when we find Kofi," JJ said. "He can set this right. He knows the truth."
Jeff said, "I don't care what you guys do. Matt and I are leaving."
"Excuse me?" Matthew said, turning his head so he could stare at Jeff. "And just who do you think you are? I'm not going anywhere with you."
"I'm your brother," Jeff said, bewildered. "You have to come with me. You need help."
"Yes," Matthew said, smirking. "And lucky for me, Randy is willing to help."
The Viper was practically bouncing in his seat. "I'm going to bite people!" he said in a singsong voice. "They're going to die!"
"Uh," Jeff said. "Yeah, that sounds… nice. But don't you want to go home, Matt?"
"It's Matthew," Matthew said coolly. "And no, I don't. Not until I've watched the world burn."
Jeff turned back to Miz. "Okay, so maybe I need some help with him. But the second you've got whatever it is you're looking for, we're headed home and I'm getting my brother some help."
"All right," Miz said. "So lunch, then?"
"I suppose," Jeff said, sighing. "You'd better not lose my brother, Punk!"
"Oh, don't worry," Punk said with a smile. "My Dad can locate people anywhere on the planet for me. Think of it like me having Celestial GPS."
"Left," Randy muttered, twitching.
"Or not," Punk said hastily. "You guys sit tight for a minute while I pump the gas, and then we can see about lunch."
Jeff waited until Punk was gone. "Do you trust him?" he asked Miz.
"Yeah, I do. We need your help as much as you need ours," Miz said. "And he knows it. He's not going to let anything happen to your brother, Jeff."