A/N: I don't own the wrestlers! I do own Pixie and Betsy. As always, it's meant in fun.

A/N: Good news! New Mizard chapters (yes, I said chapters, as in more than one) are finished and I'll be slowly uploading them once they're proofread. Thanks so much for your support and patience with both me and this weird story of mine. :) I love you guys. You all seriously rock.

The Mizard Of Odd

Chapter 68: Miz and Jeff Have Lunch

"This is nice," Miz sighed, closing his eyes and leaning back against the booth. They'd chosen a Denny's just off the exit, and the others were a couple of tables away. Miz noted the exasperated look Punk had on his face as he dealt with the others.

Jeff watched his companion, his back to the others. "You're sure Punk can handle them?"

"Sure. Why not?"

"Orton and Matthew?"

Miz shrugged. "They'll be fine."

Jeff sighed. "All right. What did you want to talk to me about?"

"I'm glad you've decided to stay with us."

"Only until we resolve this thing, and only because I want Vince to pay for my brother's treatment. I can't believe this has been going on for so long, under all of our noses. How could I not have known that the Matt living down the street from me wasn't my brother?"

"I don't know," Miz said. "But we all got fooled. I had no idea that any of those guys on the roster weren't who they said they were. You don't expect it because really, who expects robots?"

"I suppose you're right."

"Anyway, once we take care of things at the arena tonight, we can all go our own way. I can get my life back, and you can get Matt help. I don't know what's going to happen to the others… Orton seems to need more help than anyone I've ever met… but maybe there's someone out there who can cure his delusions of poison."

Jeff chuckled. "I have to admit, it's a little bit funny. Why does he think he's poisonous?"

"No idea," Miz said. "Why does Punk think he's Jesus?"

"I think it's the beard," Jeff said.

"Matthew! Randy! You two get back here this instant!" Punk yelled suddenly.

"Sounds like things are starting to get out of hand," Miz sighed. "Maybe we ought to help Punk?"

"It'll be okay," Jeff said. "Look." He inclined his head and Miz turned to see Mark, dragging the two of them back by their ears, berating them the whole way.

"Your mama raised you boys better'n that!" he screeched. "To think that you're running- running!- in a restaurant! And I didn't hear you tell the nice waitress thank you for your chocolate milks. She slaved over them! Now you boys sit and behave for once, or no more toys for you!" He more or less flung them into their respective chairs, making Miz wince.

"You do not want to cross Mark when he's in his mother mode."

Jeff nodded, the look in his eyes distant. "I suppose not."

"You all right?"

"Fine." He shook his head, then smiled at Miz wanly. "Just thinking, is all. It has certainly been a strange trip, hasn't it?"

"It has," Miz agreed. "And you missed the weirdest parts."

"Now drink your milk and don't you complain!" Mark said to Matthew and Randy. "Or I'll take you out back and whup you!"

"That… is a disturbing image," Miz said with a shudder.

Jeff laughed. "Maybe it'll make them behave."

"For a while, anyway," Miz agreed.

"Guys?" Punk said, leaving his table so he could approach Miz and Jeff. "I'm not sure how long it'll be until we get kicked out at the rate those three are going."

"You want to sit?" Miz asked.

Punk looked between the two- Miz on one side of the booth, and Jeff on the other. He raised his eyebrows, then shook his head. "I think I'll stand, thanks. Besids, looks like management is headed our way, and someone has got to keep the rest of these guys in line. May as well be Jesus."

"At least you're helpful when it comes to your delusions," Jeff said.

Punk smirked. "Says the guy who claims he doesn't do drugs." He inclined his head to the two of them before walking away to meet the manager.

"Ouch," Miz muttered. "That was a little harsh."

"Punk doesn't know anything about me."

"You're right, he doesn't," Miz agreed. "But to be fair, you don't really know anything about him, either." They watched as the rest of their party was escorted from the restaurant in silence. Then, Miz turned back to his companion. "I suppose the break's over. We ought to get back on the road so we can stop this from happening. I'd like to go back to my real life and not have to babysit this bunch anymore."

"I bet you'll be glad to be rid of us."

Miz shrugged. "Maybe. At the same time, we've spent so much time together that I have no idea what I'm going to do when I'm not surrounded by lunatics anymore."

"You'll still be surrounded by professional wrestlers. I think we count as lunatics."

"Good point." Miz sighed and pushed his food away. "Shall we head outside and see what the damage is?"

"I think we'd better. Punk appears to have his hands even more full than when he left." Jeff indicated the window. They could see Carol the SUV and their traveling companions. Punk and JJ were trying to untangle Christian from the seatbelt while Orton and Matthew were attempting to sneak off.

Miz shook his head. "What did I do to deserve this?"

"I don't know," Jeff said, "but whatever it is, I must have done it, too. Come on, let's go rescue Punk before he kills someone."

"He'd just have his dad bring them back to life, anyway," Miz said.