Author's Note: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or anything affiliated with it. The rights to it belong solely to their respective owners.
Ch.40 Past Shadows
Once we made it back to Dr. Finkelstein's lab, we told him about everything that had happened- minus my turning into my dark form- and how the artificial heart was a failure. "Hmph! Well, the heart itself did manage to summon a few of those creatures. So, it couldn't have been a total failure," he said, wheeling his chair away to write it down. When he came back he had some things in his hand. "By the way, when you all defeated Oogie these items just appeared on my desk. Here, you cane have for helping find the parts for the heart," he said, handing us Holy Circlet, an orb of energy to upgrade our Gravity magic... and a page of Ansem's report! My eyes widened and I took it, holding in my hands. "No way..." I said softly. That made three parts of the report that we had collected.
Sora took the orb of energy and pushed it into his Keyblade, which it absorbed before glowing before. "And so, our Gravity spells have powered up to..." he said, looking at me. "Gravira," I answered. Sally sat down, her arms crossed. "I knew that heart was going to cause trouble, but not at this scale," she said. Jack frowned sadly. "Sally, why didn't I listen to you?" he asked, hanging his head. Sally saw his shame and stood, taking his hands in hers. "Don't feel bad, jack. We'll come up with another plan for Halloween. And this time, we'll do it together," she told him. That made Jack smiled, and he nodded. "You're right," he said, before turning to us. "I guess we have no choice, We'll have to cancel the Heartless Halloween festival for now. Here, I want you to have this," he said.
Jack pulled out a Keychain and tossed it to Sora. "Another Keychain! See what this one does!" Goofy said. Sora nodded and took of the Crabclaw, putting the new Keychain on. With a burst of light it changed into the Keyblade Pumpkinhead. This one had a skeleton head adorning the hilt, a jagged guard that resembled Jack's bow tie, a long and thin neck, and the teeth were modeled to look like a bat. Sora examined the new blade, and smiled. "Thanks, Jack," he said. The Pumpkin King nodded, before saying "Visit us anytime, Sora. Next year's Halloween will be the scariest ever!" We waved and began to walk out. As we did I heard the doctor mutter "Emotion, memory... We put in all the necessary ingredients. What else do you need to make a heart? What is a heart anyway? I can't figure it out." I smiled and didn't say anything, just leaving. A heart was so much more than any construct. Someone who saw things only in an analytical way like Dr. Finkelstein would never understand.
Once we left Halloween Town we teleported back to the Gummi Ship, and all of our outfits were returned to normal. When we were done Sora looked back. "Okay, Dexal. It's time that you told us the truth," he said. I sighed; this moment was one I had dreaded for years. "Very well," I said, sitting down in one of the revolving chairs. The others did the same and turned them to face me. "Well, I wonder where to start," I said. "How about how you got to Destiny Islands all those years ago?" Sora suggested. I nodded. It was as good a place as any. "Okay. You all remember how I was Ansem's student once, in the world called Radiant Garden?" I asked. They all nodded, and I continued.
"I wasn't the only one though. Ansem had seven apprentices in total- me and six others. We all lived together and conducted research, learning from our master and bettering our skills. The main subject of our research was one thing- hearts. The darkness in hearts was something that fascinated our master, along with how to eliminate it and leave the world full of light. The tests began with willing subjects who were conducted simple psychological tests on, but it quickly snowballed. Xehanort, the best apprentice out of all of us and smarter even than me, quickly deduced that with the direction the experiments were taking, our master would quickly shut them down. And so we continued the research... away from his eyes.
"As time passed the tests we conducted grew more and more dangerous, putting ourselves that much closer to the darkness in order to learn about it. And in the basement of Radiant garden's castle, one of the first Heartless made its way into the Realm of Light," I said. The others all gasped, but I kept going. I wasn't going to stop now and never finish. "The Heartless were actually everything we had hoped for- countless test subjects that were made of pure darkness, and they possessed no hearts for us to endanger with the tests. We began using the Heartless in our research, even finding a way to create Emblem Heartless, those adorned with the Heartless crest. Inevitably though, Master Ansem eventually found out about what we were. Once he did he ordered us to not only cease all of our research, but to destroy the results of it thus far.
"We did as we were told- we had no choice- and got rid of any data that we had amassed. But Xehanort had an almost perfect memory, and remembering everything that we had uncovered. Until it came to one night we all gathered in the experiment room, and made a decision. With no other hearts to experiment on, the only tests subjects we had left... we our own hearts," I said. Their jaws dropped. "Your own heart? You were going to make yourselves into Heartless?!" Donald nearly yelled. I shook my head. "No. Our plan was merely to extract our own hearts, and then we would have an array of subjects that we even knew the nature of better than any other hearts, simply because they were our own. We were all hesitant to go through with it though; we had seen what could happen if we removed our hearts.
"One of the other apprentices, Even, even said 'Must we, the testers become the testees?' But Xehanort convinced us all would be well. As usual his charisma and passion influenced our own, and we had the confidence to go through with it. We powered up the machine that would remove our hearts, stood before it... and then we lost our hearts," I finished. There was silence for a second, and then Goofy said "And then?" "We had planned to be able to exist still without our hearts, but the moment I lost kine I was enveloped in the darkest of shadows I had ever seen. And that was when all of my missing memories came rushing back, reminding me of what my life had been like before I became an apprentice. How I was a Keyblade Master, the worlds I had gone to, and the friends that I had lost.
"When I remembered how I had failed my friends I was crushed by guilt, all of it coming back. Terra had been consumed by darkness and lost his memory, Ventus was trapped in an eternal sleep, and Aqua was lost in the Realm of Darkness. And so it was that in that darkness, my heart gone, guilt and grief crushing me, that I too was enveloped in the shadows. But when that happened, a Keyblade that I had been given by Aqua so long ago appeared, its light shielding me. But I was already caught in the dark's embrace, and nothing would stop it. The two opposing forces collided over and over within me, until finally they fused together," I explained. "Darkness and light fused together?" Sora asked. "Yes. It was a combination that was never meant to be. And in the process, I became that which I most feared and more.
"I became a Heartless. A Heartless... that could wield the Keyblade."
For a long moment Sora, Donald and Goofy were stunned, frozen by what I had revealed. That was it; my big secret. And now exactly that which expected to happen was happening. Eventually Sora managed to gulp, and say "You're... a Heartless?" I nodded. "The darkness that I was in made me a Heartless, but the light of the Keyblade Aqua had given me, the Stormfell, enabled me to retain my reason and appearance. But it wasn't without cost. I'm only able to remain human because the light I have left keeps the darkness and my Heartless instincts tied down. But during times when my life is in danger and that light fades, my Heartless form emerges," I told them. "You mean like in Halloween Town, and in Agrabah?" Goofy asked.
"That's right. The darkness allowed me to travel to Destiny Islands, which I felt was safe from the darkness and where I could live without losing myself. But as you've all seen, fate decided to give me a different path. And that path has brought me to where I am today," I said. That was all, and I sat back to wait for their reactions. Goofy was shocked but starting to piece it together, Donald was completely flabbergasted, and Sora was still frozen. I couldn't blame him- the person he had called a friend and looked up to all these years, turning out to be a Heartless. Granted I still looked human, but was only a small consolation. I stood and began to walk out. "I'll give you all some time to think," I said.
I left the room and headed for where we all slept, sitting down in my bed. I pulled out the page of Ansem's report we had recovered, and with nothing else to do I read it. "Where does the body go when it separates from the heart? If the soul remains within the body, is it still considered to be deceased? When the heart returns to the Heartless, the physical form disappears. But that is merely true in this world. Perhaps the body exists in another form in another world. If that is the case, then it is possible for one to exist in two worlds. A being that is neither darkness nor light; belonging nowhere; abandoned by its heart; a mere shell of its former self. The relation between the heart and body is complex. However, I am certain that if your self exists here, then by definition, the other cannot truly 'exist.' The other, the one which does not exist, shall be dubbed, 'Nobody.'"
I sat back, thinking. I was a Heartless in human form, yes, but a Heartless nonetheless. Was it possible that I had a Nobody somewhere out these amongst the worlds? I could worry about that later. For now, indeed to worry about how my secret would affect the rest of the group. Would I even be able to stay? After what seemed like forever I decided that Sora and the others had enough to time to decide, and I stood. I walked towards the door, but once I stepped in front of it it slid open, revealing Sora and the others on the other side. "Sora. I was just coming," I said. Sora nodded, his expression solemn. "Can we come in?" he asked. I stepped back and he walked in, along with Donald and Goofy. Sora sat down on his bunk and was silent for a while, while Donald and Goofy stood there, Goofy with his arms crossed.
I wasn't sure what to say or if I should even say anything at all. I began to, but then Sora held up his hand. "You told me that as a wielder of the Keyblade, it's my job to fight the darkness," he said. My eyes widened and I feared the worst, but said "Yeah." "If you're a Heartless, then that means I have to destroy you," he said. I looked away, but nodded. He was right; I didn't have a right to wield the Keyblade anymore. The one I had now was given to me. Then he stood. "But even though you're a Heartless, you're a Keyblade wielder as well. And my best friend," Sora stated. I gasped, and he smiled. "So, it's technically not my job to fight you, because you have light in you and you help to fight the other Heartless," he finished. Just then Donald and Goofy smiled, nodding in agreement.
I was stunned, but at the same time I began to feel overjoyed. My greatest secret had become the truth, and even then I had been accepted. I sniffled, but managed to keep myself from crying. "Thanks, guys," I said. Sora jumped to his feet and stuck out his hand. "Let's keep looking for Riku, Kairi, and the King. And if we're lucky, we'll find a way to get your heart back too," he said. I smiled widely, taking his hand and shaking it. "Deal," I said. "Okay then, let's get back to the control room and look for the next world!" Donald said. "Yeah!" Goofy added. We all agreed, and walked back to the front of the ship. Along the way I couldn't stop smiling.
These guys- they really were the best of friends.
The secret of Dexal had been revealed, and now we know- he's a Heartless! One that can use the Keyblade! Hope you all liked that, and come next chapter the adventures of Wonderland begin!
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