CH70
Kate got up in the morning and got Alexis up and into the shower and went back to her own shower and meet Alexis downstairs for breakfast.
"Castle what's this?" Kate wants to trust him but is a little weary.
Creole Breakfast Recipe
Pain Perdu
3/4 cup reduced fat 2% milk
2 tbsps sugar (divided)
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
11/2 tsps vanilla extract
1/4 tsp whole nutmegs (grated)
1/8 tsp salt
3 eggs (lightly beaten)
8 ozs french bread (diagonally cut, inch thick)
2 cups strawberries (sliced)
2 tsps grated orange (rind)
4 tsps butter (divided)
? Tasty tip
2 tbsps powdered sugar
"Not bad Castle, not bad at all. I was right though. You are trying to get me fat." Kate teases.
"Just more of you to love Kate." Castle teases back.
"You just remember that when I'm as big as a house." Kate tells him. And Castle drops his fork onto his plate and stares at her.
Kate looks back and then looks at Alexis who has stopped eating but at least still has her fork. Kate thinks back. 'What did I just say to cause this reaction?'
OH! "No, I'm not pregnant Castle. At least I don't think I am." Kate tells him and tries to think back when her last period was. 'What is today's date anyway?'
Castle picks his fork back up but continues to study Kate closely. He's pretty sure he can see the gears in her mind spinning madly.
Kate got her coffee to-go mug and a kiss that had her breathless. Then drove Alexis to school and continued on into work.
Problem was she spent hours going over countless hours of surveillance tapes and it got her nothing. If it was in there she just wasn't seeing it.
Kate also spent a lot of time staring into Captain Montgomery's office. She knew so much more now than she did before. His family isn't home. He's mixed up in her mother's death. Even if he didn't have anything to do with it. She now knew that he knew who did and he never told her,
However she also knew now that Castle was right. If she had known then what she knows now she would be dead now. She would have gotten too close and one of his hit men would have killed her. And she would never have solved her mother's case.
She wanted it to be two weeks from now. Her training would be over and she would be helping Castle, her husband, get the man who had her mother killed. She soooo wanted to be a part of that.
And Castle was right. She would worry about what Castle could or couldn't do and be trying to do both his and her job. She might end up getting both of them killed. That would destroy Alexis, and she wasn't doing that to her baby.
Besides her mother had told her not to lose Alexis, and she had no intention of not listening to her mother's last words to her.
Castle meanwhile was letting the emergency generator people inside and around to where the generator would go. And of course they all had to wait for the electrical inspector to come out and sign off on the work.
Castle also had a few questions. He wanted to know if he needed a permit for the lighting at the play set? And what to watch out for when he had an out building constructed and had electrical routed out to it? He knew he needed a permit for that, just what other things to ask the contractor about?
Happy with his answers everyone was gone and it was time to go pick up Alexis from school.
It had been almost a week and Kate was no closer to finding Shawn's mother. She had fallen off the face of the planet. Kate didn't have the courage to talk to the Captain, to let him know that she would be back on her mother's case soon and help him get out.
Castle and Kate had managed to get into a bit of a routine. He always had breakfast ready, only now Kate never knew what to expect to find. Castle was really mixing it up with all these new recipes.
Even dinner wasn't boring anymore. It became a game to try and figure out what country Castle was cooking from now. And then there was one evening when he had used something even Kate couldn't remember seeing. It tasted kind of salty but wasn't bad.
Budae Jjigae Army Base Stew
onion, minced
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/4 Gochujang (Korean red pepper paste)
water
onion, chopped
3 cloves garlic, chopped
1 or 2 Chile peppers, chopped
1 leek, white part, sliced thinly
hot dogs or sausage, sliced
Spam or ham, sliced
Green Leafy vegetables (such as spinach, Chrysanthemum Leaves, kale)
Sliced firm tofu (optional)
1 can baked beans (optional)
Soju (optional)
1 Package of ramen noodles (discard the flavoring packet)
Castle had used SPAM. It was one ingredient that Kate would never have guessed in a million years.
It was a Hawaiian recipe. Castle and Alexis began telling her stories about how SPAM was everywhere in Hawaii.
Spam MusubiIt was the Hawaiian version of Sushi. Just trade out the fish for SPAM.
It was the day before their scheduled trip to Quantico. Kate was itching to see what Castle could do. He was a writer for god's sake. What did he know about guns?
"Beckett we got a fresh one." Ryan holds up his post-it-note with the address, twisting it in his fingers.
"Grab Espo and let's go." Kate tells him
Arriving at the row house home, they all went upstairs to the bedroom lever and found Lanie already here, naturally. Kate made a mental not to ask her when she sleeps. If she sleeps. Maybe she was an android like Data from Star Trek.
"Hey Lanie." Kate greets her as she enters.
"Hi Kate, what's got you all happy?" Lanie asks seeing a smile that is threatening to break her face.
"Nothing special." Kate lies. She is dying to get Castle out on the gun range and kick his ass.
"Right!" Not believing her friend for a second.
"Female, single, 15 years old, her name is Sarah. Her father over there found her when he came home early. He called 911 and the EMT's arrived and failed to revive her.
I found this when I got here." Lanie holds up the pill bottle.
Kate takes it from her and reads it. "Looks like it's made out to the mother. Is she here?"
Espo steps up. "The father says he has called her, she should be here soon."
"Check the house and see if there was forced entry and interview the father. Then check with the neighbors see if the saw anything. It looks like suicide but let's cover our bases." Kate tells them.
Then leans down to look at the girl. "She's pretty. Why would she want to kill herself? She should have boys falling all over themselves trying to get her to go out on a date."
"And how many dates did you go on Kate before Castle came along?" Lanie questions.
"That's different Lanie." Kate thinks it is anyway.
"Right you just keep telling yourself that. … Honey I'm just glad you finally came to your senses." Castle and Alexis were good for her and Lanie knew it.
"Yea, me to Lanie, me too." And Kate with a gloved hand reaches down to push a few stray hairs away and brushes a finger along her skin.
With tears in her eyes and a knot in her stomach, Sarah quickly stuffed the handful of tiny white tablets into her mouth and forced them down her throat. Some were sticking and leaving a bitter taste in her mouth. She coughed and gagged trying to get them all down. Finally she sucked some Pepsi from her glass and washed the grains of medicine down her throat.
"There," she thought, "the hard part is over."
She quickly began straightening up her sheets and she folded her eloquent words in half and propped them up on her nightstand in plain view so the note couldn't be missed. All she wanted was to be recognized, noticed, and missed. She had precisely twenty minutes before her mom's car would pull into the driveway. She figured that was just enough time to become delirious but not enough to kill her.
She nestled into her bed and neatly pulled the covers up around her. Then, after a second thought, she tousled the covers and lay on her side, one arm over her head, the other hanging off the bed. Better shock value, she figured.
She lay perfectly still and closed her eyes. Visions began flashing through her head as she imagined how people would react. She imagined the flowers, the cards, hospital visits, and her friends hovering around her showering her with love. She imagined…
"Excuse me, but you have a visitor, Sarah. Are you up for company?" the nurse would ask.
"Yeah, sure," she'd say. "Who is it?"
"A handsome young man," the nurse would reply with a wink.
"Hey." It would be Caleb, the one that got away. More like the one who broke her heart and left her alone and sad, but time has a way of erasing those negative things.
"What are you doing here?" she would whisper with a hopeful rise in her voice.
"Well, I heard what happened and I had to see you. Look, Sarah, I really,"
"No, Caleb, you don't have to say anything. You're here, and that means so much to me."
"Sarah, I love you. I realized last night what it would be like if you were gone, and I just, I couldn't take it. Let's be together, always," he would say. She would cry, and he would take her hand. They'd sit together all afternoon talking and planning their future. Yes, she was sure this would work.
Five minutes had passed, yet it seemed like an eternity. Sarah's palms began to sweat and she started getting cold. She knew her mom would be home soon, and the pills didn't seem to be affecting her. Slowly she reached under her bed and took out the water bottle filled with her father's scotch. She had been taking it from his bottle one tiny drop at a time until she had filled her bottle half full. The instructions on the medicine bottle specifically said "do not take with alcohol," so she knew that drinking would speed up the process. She would drink just enough that she wouldn't be conscious when her mother found her. She wouldn't need much.
She laid there motionless for a few minutes then she twisted the cap off the bottle. She had mentioned in her note about stealing the alcohol from her father hoping that he'd feel guilty about it and quit drinking. She smiled at herself, so proud that she was going to make so many wonderful things happen with her little plan. Then, without a thought, she pinched her nose shut and opened her throat to let the hot, stinging liquid melt through her body. She coughed and spattered as she realized the potency of the liquor. It burned her mouth and throat, and made her chest tight. It left a horrible taste in her mouth, but soon it would be worth it.
All of a sudden there was a noise downstairs. Sarah quickly threw herself back on the bed and closed her eyes, trying to lie as still as she could. Surely she could fake being asleep for a few seconds. She imagined her mother's reaction, her tears and her screaming. As morbid as it was, Sarah couldn't help but love the attention she would be getting. Finally her family would start to realize how special she was and how horrible they would feel if she were gone.
Minutes passed, but no one came. Sarah figured it must have been a squirrel or the cat in the trash. The time seemed to crawl. She hoped her mother would be home soon. She didn't want to cause too much damage. A stomach pump would be enough torture. Sarah's body started to feel as heavy as lead, and her head felt like it was spinning. She was drooling on her pillow and was having trouble staying awake. She was relaxed and dazed. Then, the silence broke.
RING. The phone was ringing loud in her ear. She stayed motionless and listened for the machine. Her heart began to pound. She was realizing that her plan was not fool proof.
"Hi, you have reached the Martin residence. We can't take your call right now, but please leave a message and we'll get back with you soon." BEEP.
"Sarah? Hey Sarah, it's Mom. I figured you'd be home by now. Well, anyway, my order came in at Sears and I'm going to run over to the mall to pick it up. I phoned in a pizza and I'll pick it up on the way home. I thought you might want to ride along, but I guess you're not home. So I'll be home in about 45 minutes. See you soon!"
"NO!" Sarah tried with all her might to get out of bed. Her head was spinning, and her vision was blurred. She couldn't move her legs and she was disoriented. Suddenly it hit her. She was dying. Her mother had hung up and was gone. Her only hope now was to call 911. She pulled herself up and tried to get out of her bed over to her phone. With a loud thud she hit the floor. She closed her eyes and tears began falling from under her lashes.
Everything changed in one instant. Suddenly her father's sporadic drinking and the fact that he occasionally ignored her didn't seem like such a big deal. Her mother's long hours and stressful job weren't so bad. She didn't need Caleb. He had dumped her after all, why would she take him back after he was so mean to her? Her thoughts changed from thoughts of things she hated about her life to the things she loved about her life.
Suddenly she thought of her best friend Carrie, and the hours they'd spent on the phone talking about boys and gossiping. She loved the way they never had an awkward silence, and how even when they were quiet, they were communicating. She loved sitting up late on the big front porch swing and dreaming together about their futures. She thought about trips to the mall, and with a twinge of pain she remembered secrets she swore she'd take to her grave.
She thought about her church and her Sunday school class. She had done something terribly wrong, and she didn't know how to fix it. What would her preacher say? How would they treat her family?
She thought of her little sister and how she loved to wear Sarah's hand-me-downs. She would do anything if Sarah would braid her hair or take her to the mall.
"I don't want to die," she thought "I've got too much too live for." She thought about her mom baking at Christmastime and her father carving the Thanksgiving turkey. She thought of the vacations they had taken, and how they were so excited about their trip to Cancun this summer. Her school came to mind, the teachers, the students and basketball, her one true love. She thought about college and marriage and children of her own and wondered how she ever could have put those things in jeopardy. Her only thoughts now were of survival. She crawled helplessly toward the phone, and just as she pulled it off the hook, she collapsed again.
She couldn't die. Not now. Everyone would read her letter. She had tried so hard to pass guilt and blame. But it was only meant for them to feel bad if she lived. She didn't want them to remember her this way. They would never know that she really wanted to live. They would never understand that she wasn't REALLY disturbed or depressed. They would never know that all she wanted was a little attention.
"Please, God, help me. I'm sorry. I don't want to go. I'm not ready. I'm so sorry I took everything You gave me for granted. Please, Lord, send me a miracle."
As she prayed, she heard a car door shut outside. Dad was home early. She was so relieved. But as Dad came up the front steps and jiggled his key in the lock, Sarah's eyes fell closed and she let out her breath. Her perfect plan was complete, yet the outcome was not what she had anticipated. Sarah would finally be given all the attention she could ever want, but she could never receive it.