A/N: Trigger Warning: Mild knife violence and a tiny bit of blood at the very end of this chapter. Please skip it if it bothers you.
But Maura didn't give her the chance, because she wrapped her hands in Jane's hair, pulled her face toward her, and kissed her with every ounce of passion she had.
The kiss was broken only by their desperate need to breathe. Both women panted as they stared into each other's eyes, searching for visual confirmation of what they both felt.
"Wow," Jane said finally, still a little out of breath.
Maura smiled, taking her hand from behind Jane's head to stroke the side of her face, then finally cupping her cheek. Her eyes slowly scanned her face, as if committing it to memory. "You are so beautiful," she whispered.
"Hey, that was supposed to be my line," Jane quipped, unable to stop grinning.
Maura let out a small laugh, and Jane decided it was her favorite sound. She silently vowed to make Maura laugh as often as she possibly could from that moment forward.
They stayed on the roof like that for almost an hour, kissing and cuddling under the stars. There was no urgency, no anxiety or fear, just the two of them living blissfully in the most perfect moment. Eventually their bodies began to ache from lying on the hard surface, so they decided to retire back to Maura's suite, sneaking back hand-in-hand like naughty schoolgirls. Without discussion, Jane climbed into Maura's bed and wrapped her body around the blonde's slender frame. Maura craned her neck around for a soft goodnight kiss, and snuggled her body back into Jane's, falling into a wonderful sleep.
That night, Jane dreamed she was sailing an ancient vessel, fully armored, when she spotted Maura tied to a cliff. She was perched precariously above an enormous, grotesque sea monster with sharp, yellow teeth the size of Christmas trees. Jane jumped from the vessel, running so fast across the water that she reached the monster before she began to sink, leaping on his huge back. With her sword, she battled him in the rocky surf, nearly drowning several times in the struggle, but never giving up. She could hear Maura cheering her on from where she was trapped above, watching intently. Finally, Jane climbed on the monster's chest and rammed her sword through his cold heart with all her strength, twisting until his movements ceased. When she was sure he was dead, Jane scaled the cliff with ease, rescuing Maura, who rewarded her with kiss after sweet kiss. So it didn't surprise her when she woke up to Maura's lips on hers.
"Sorry," Maura whispered, looking up at Jane bashfully, caught in the act. "Your lips just looked so... kissable. I guess I couldn't help myself."
Jane smiled and returned the chaste kiss with one of her own. "You never have to apologize for that."
They shared a few soft kisses before Maura pulled away and snuggled against Jane with a sigh. "I have to get ready," she said reluctantly. "I have a magazine interview and another screening today."
Jane groaned and squeezed her tightly. "I wish we could just stay like this all day."
"Mmm, me too."
"Five more minutes?"
Maura smiled against her neck. "I think we can spare five minutes."
They spent the next several days stealing fiery glances and secret smiles at work, anticipating the moment when they could hide behind the hotel doors and return to their own little world. It was understood that they would have to maintain their distance around others, but that didn't make it easy. It always seemed to take forever. In their evenings alone, they kissed and cuddled and talked and laughed. Neither wanted to officially acknowledge what was happening, for fear of somehow ruining it, but both wanted it with a passion they couldn't tame.
Late one evening in Glasgow, after finally making it back to the safe haven of their room, they fell immediately into each other's arms. Their kiss was heated by the angst of the day, being able to see but not touch, and Maura felt arousal growing within her. This was happening increasingly often and it both excited and terrified her. She broke the kiss to catch her breath.
"Do I leave you breathless, Maura Isles?" Jane joked, laboring to replentish her own oxygen.
"Regularly, Jane Rizzoli."
"Good, then we're even." She winked.
"What shall we do tonight?"
"I don't know. I hadn't really thought past kissing you. We could just keep doing that."
Maura laughed and leaned in for another kiss, just as Jane's phone started to ring.
"Dammit!" She pulled it out of its holster and looked at the caller ID. "Of course it would be my mother." She looked at Maura apologetically. "Sorry, I gotta take this."
"Of course. I need to get changed anyway."
Jane nodded and accepted the call. "Hi Ma!"
"Jane!" Angela's voice boomed from the other end of the line. "You haven't called me, what's going on? Are you okay?"
"Yes, Ma, please stop worrying. Sorry I haven't called. I'm still in Europe."
Her tone changed immediately. "My little girl is a world traveler! It's so exciting, Jane! How are you doing with all the flying? I know how you hate to fly."
"Well, Maura kinda helps me out with that."
"Oh. She doesn't give you drugs, does she? I heard those Hollywood people like to do a lot of drugs-"
"Wha- no! No, she does not give me drugs, mother! Maura doesn't do drugs!"
"Okay, you don't have to get so defensive! Maura seems like a sweet girl, but I've never actually met her. You never know these days. Though you could introduce me to her sometime. Anyway, I just wanted to call and check on you and make sure you're doing okay."
Jane watched Maura as she uncorked the red wine and strolled into the bedroom. "I'm... better than okay, actually," she said with a broad smile. "And I appreciate you checking on me."
"You do?" Angela sounded skeptical. "Since when? Who are you and what the hell have you done with my daughter?"
Jane laughed. "It's me, Ma, don't worry. I'm just... I'm really enjoying myself right now."
"Oh, I'm so glad to hear that, honey! This is the best I've heard you sound in a long time. Maybe getting out of Boston really was the right choice for you." She sighed. "I still miss you though."
"I miss you too, Ma. And I love you," Jane said earnestly, thanking God she still had her mother in her life, while remembering that some, like Maura, were not so fortunate. "And I'm sorry that I don't tell you that often enough."
"Oh, Jane! I love you too! So much!" Angela's voice was full of joy. She wondered what had gotten into Jane all of a sudden, but she decided to just let it be for now. She was just happy that Jane seemed so happy.
They chatted for a while, catching up on where Jane had been, the things that she had seen, and all the happenings of the Rizzoli family back in Boston. Maura listened from the bedroom, wishing her own mother could call, and they could catch up on all the things they'd missed. She felt a pang of jealousy and instantly hated herself for it. There was just so much she wished could share with her mother, but would never be able to. After nearly twenty years, you'd think she would have gotten over the loneliness, but she had only learned to live with it.
This new thing with Jane- it was something unlike anything she had ever experienced. Jane's very presence took that empty feeling away, and replaced it with something wholly unfamiliar. Something big and beautiful and wonderful- and absolutely terrifying. She never imagined she would feel this strongly for Jane, and so quickly. Maura had learned by now that to love was to get hurt, and thinking about her parents now was the biggest reminder of that. And the more you love, the more pain you must endure when it inevitably ends. She was torn between allowing herself the joy of being with Jane and saving herself from the hurt that was to come later.
"Hey," Jane leaned through the doorway to the bedroom where Maura was sitting on the bed, lost in thought. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," she replied, looking up and forcing a smile. "Everything okay with your mother?"
"Oh yeah, everything's fine." Jane came in and sat down on the bed next to her. "Helicopter mom likes to check in pretty regularly, so... are you sure you're okay?"
"Of course." She gave Jane a peck on the lips as assurance, then tried again to change the subject. "Do you want to get out of here? Go grab a bite to eat or something?"
Jane frowned. She had been looking forward to being alone with Maura all day, and now she wanted to go back out in public where they'd have to put unnecessary space between them again. But she could also tell something was up with Maura, and maybe she did just need to get out for a bit. "Sure, if that's what you want. Personally, I'm not very hungry."
"Me either," Maura admitted. "How about we just go for a walk then?"
"Okay. I'll call Thomas and-"
"No," she interrupted quickly, "that's not necessary. I don't want the whole entourage, please. I just want some fresh air."
"I don't know, Maura. It doesn't seem safe. I can't even carry a weapon here."
"It'll be fine, you won't need one. Residents don't carry weapons either, by law."
"It's not the law-abiding citizens I'm worried about."
"We'll go incognito. Please, Jane?"
When Maura gave her those puppy-dog eyes, Jane's heart melted along with her resolve. "Okay, fine. But stay close to me, alright?"
Maura's smile returned. "It would be my pleasure."
They both changed into jeans and hoodies, aimed at blending in with a crowd. Maura put her hood up to aide in her disguise, and they made their way out onto the dark city streets. Since they were trying to camouflage themselves, they allowed a rare public intimacy, Jane wrapping her arm around Maura and pulling her close. They walked in a comfortable silence for a while, until Jane couldn't take it anymore.
"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked finally.
"Talk about what?"
"Whatever has got you wandering the streets at night?"
Maura sighed heavily. "No, I don't think so." She looked up at Jane. "But thank you for asking."
"You know how much I care about you, right?" Jane asked.
"I believe so, yes."
"You know you can tell me anything?"
Maura remained silent. Jane stopped suddenly, startling her, and put her hands on Maura's shoulders. She stared her straight in the eye for several seconds before she spoke. "Look, I know we haven't really talked about what's happening between us, and I admit to some fault there, because I've been so afraid I'll say something to mess it up. But I want you to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that even though I can't explain it, even though I don't really understand it, I love you." Jane put significant emphasis on those last three words, making every attempt to drive the meaning home. "And honestly, I'm still working out the details in my head, but I know love you, Maura, and I will love and support you one thousand percent, no matter what. You can tell me anything and there's nothing you can ever say that would make me feel any different."
She searched Maura's eyes for some sign of understanding, but she could only see sadness and fear. The fear she understood. The fear was present for her too, always and increasingly so. Because Jane had never known anyone who could love her for exactly who she was. Everyone always seemed to want to change her somehow, to make her fit their mold of who they thought she should be, but not Maura. Maura knew her, Maura loved her, and Maura never tried to make her into someone she wasn't. But Jane knew that could all change at any moment. One of her greatest fears was that Maura would finally realize Jane wasn't good enough for her, and every beautiful thing in her world would come crashing down. Parts of her told her she should get out first, run before the inevitable happened, but she could never bring herself to actually do it. She was already too far gone.
"I-I-," Maura started crying, silent tears falling fast, before she could get out another word. Jane had said it. She'd said those words. I love you. Three words, three syllables, eight letters... and far more meaningful emotion than could ever be quantified. It wasn't that she didn't already know it to be true. It wasn't that she didn't feel the exact same way. It was that everything had just changed in an instant, the stakes made immeasurably higher. Now that it was spoken, it was real.
Jane hugged Maura tight against her chest, praying to God or whoever was listening that she didn't just ruin everything. Finally Maura pulled away slightly, sniffling, her eyes red. She kissed Jane sweetly and smiled at her, eyes still wet with tears. "I love you too, Jane," she whispered. "So much. And it frightens me to my very core."
"It scares me the hell out of me too!" Jane agreed enthusiastically, eliciting a giggle from them both. "So what should we do?"
"Well, Eleanor Roosevelt said you should do one thing every day that scares you," Maura said contemplatively.
"And I scare you? I'm trying really hard not to make that into a dirty joke." They laughed again.
"Okay how about this quote by C. Joybell: 'Don't be afraid of your fears. They're not there to scare you. They're there to let you know that something is worth it'."
"I like that one." Jane leaned in and kissed her softly, letting her hands slide down Maura's arms to grasp her hands, then kissing the back of each one with a playful sweetness. "Because you are worth it."
"We are." Maura gave Jane one more kiss on the mouth before they continued walking, hand-in-hand down the street.
Jane soon started to notice the thinning of other pedestrians as they walked. Normally this wouldn't alarm her, but they were in a strange city and she was regretfully lacking her sidearm, making her feel nervous. "Hey Maur, maybe we should turn back."
"Sure, if you want."
They stopped to turn around, releasing hands for only a second to do so, and he sprang on the opportunity. Neither of them saw him coming, and before they knew what was happening, he already had Maura's body pinned against his chest, knife to her throat.
"Money!" he screamed at them in a gruffy Scottish accent. He was large, taller than Jane, and sturdy, but his movements were frantic. "Now!"
Maura felt the cold steel of the blade against her skin. She could hear her pulse beating in her ears. She was paralyzed with fear.
Jane fought to remain steady as panic threatened to overtake her. "We don't have any money! We were just going for a walk. We didn't bring any money, I swear!"
Maura felt the blade barely pierce her skin, a small trail of warm blood spilling across her neck. A threat, or a promise? She closed her eyes and focused on her breathing, trying to shut out the fear, but it was useless. She prayed this man would believe them and let her go. She didn't want to die, not today. Not on the day she told her she loved her.