A/N: I don't own the wrestlers! I do own Pixie and Betsy. As always, it's meant in fun.

The Mizard Of Odd

Chapter 78: Miz Makes an Enemy

"And Betsy swiiiims!" Matt sang, for what felt like the millionth time to Miz. "And he drinks waaater!"

HB winced. "When you said 'hyper,' I had no idea that actually meant torturous."

"Sorry," Miz said. "I could try to get him to be Matthew again, if you want?"

"No, that's okay. Look, there they are." He indicated Punk and Mark, who were indeed still circling the block.

"Left!" Miz could hear Mark shouting, as they once again made a left turn.

HB pulled over, and Teh D jumped out, racing after Mark and Punk. "You'd better go rescue Punk," HB said, amused. "Or she'll squeeze him to death."

Miz nodded and got out. Down the block, he could see Teh D, who did indeed have her arms wrapped around the straightedge superstar. Punk looked mildly panicked. "Do I know you?" he asked.

"I'm the emergency Pepsi girl," she said.

"Oh. Well, then I'm glad you're here."

Punk," Miz called.

Punk looked up. "Miz! Are you lost, too?"

"No, we've been at the hotel," Miz said. "Christian's friends picked up Jeff, Matt and Randy."

"Randy's alive?" Punk asked.

"Sure is."

Punk stared up at the sky. "So you lied to me, Dad?"

"Left!" Mark yelled.

Miz shifted from foot to foot, uncomfortably. "Um, hey, why don't we go back to the hotel now? HB brought the van…"

Punk brought his gaze down from the sky and focused on Miz, his shoulders slumping. "Okay. But do you think you can get this girl off me?"

Miz tapped Teh D's shoulder. "Hey, can you let Punk go?"

"Never!" she said.

"Huh. Sorry, Punk. Maybe you should try?"

Punk sighed. "Hey, girl?"

"Her name's Teh D," Miz reminded him.

"Right, right. Teh D? Can you let go now? I can't walk with you clinging on like that."

"Oh. Sorry." Teh D gave Punk a sheepish smile, then let go. "It's just that I was so worried about you! I thought maybe you'd been eaten by bears or something!"

"We're in the city," Punk pointed out. "There aren't any bears here."

"You never know," Teh D said cryptically.

"I'll go get Mark," Miz said, as Mark turned the corner, still yelling "Left!"

"Don't let him give you any directions. He's a terrible GPS," Punk said.

"I'll keep that in mind," Miz said. He sprinted off after Mark. "Mark! Wait for me!"

Mark paused just around the corner, meaning that Miz ran headlong into him with an "oof" and hit the ground. "Hi, Miz! I'm a GPS! Left!"

"Yeah, uh," Miz said. "The thing is, you've been going around in circles. And I'm pretty sure that last turn was a right."

"Really?" Mark asked with a frown. "Are you sure?"

"Pretty sure," Miz repeated.

"Oh. Being a GPS is harder than it looks." Mark frowned. "So no more lefts?"

"Maybe later," Miz said.

Mark nodded. "Now what?"

"Well, we found the hotel…"

"I'm a maid!" Mark said suddenly, his face lighting up. "But I don't know where the hotel is. We need a GPS…"

"I know where it is," Miz said hastily. "Just follow me."

"I'm not that type of girl!" Mark said, hiding a giggle behind one massive hand.

"You're… what?" Miz asked, his brow wrinkling in confusion.

"I'm not going to follow you to some hotel!"

Miz blinked. "Okay. Um. Well, I'm going because all of the others are there."

"Why didn't you say so?" Mark said. "I swear, trying to get me to go to a hotel with you. The nerve!"

Miz continued to look confused. "Uh, right. Sorry. The van's this way."

"So now you're going to kidnap me?" Mark demanded.

"Honestly, miss," Miz said, "I don't think I have the strength to do so."

"What are you implying?" Mark asked, his eyes narrowing. Miz gave him a sickly smile, then turned and bolted toward the van. "Get back here!" the World's Strongest Man shrieked before giving chase. "How dare you!"

Miz, panting, launched himself through the open door of the van. "Go!"

"Shouldn't we wait for…" HB began.

"No!" Miz yelled. "Just go!"

Mark slammed a meaty hand into the side of the van, rocking the vehicle. "I'm going to slap you, sir!"

"What are you waiting for?" Miz demanded. "Get moving!"

With a bemused look, HB put the van into drive. "He's chasing us."

"Good," Miz said, trying to catch his breath. "Drive slow enough so he can find his way to the hotel, but for pity's sake, don't let him catch us!"

"What did you say to make him go nuts, anyway?" Punk asked.

Miz shot his friend a look. "I have no idea. You know how he is. One minute, he's a GPS and the next, he's a maid, looking for a hotel."

"Uh huh." Punk paused. "Wait. A maid? Looking for a hotel?"

"Yes."

"And you offered to take him to one?"

"Well, of course. I mean, it is where we're going."

Punk groaned. "He's going to be mad for hours."

Matt took a toy car from his pocket and tried to drive it over Punk's head. "Whee!" he said in a high pitched voice.

"What the heck are you doing?" Punk asked, trying to turn his head, the little car stuck in his hair.

"Give me back my car!" Matt said, snatching at the toy.

"Ow! Hey!" Punk said. "That's tangled in my hair! Don't pull!"

"Miz, Punk stole my car!" Matt wailed.

"You drove it on my head!" Punk protested.

Matt sniffled. "B-but you stole it!"

"Oh Dad," Punk muttered. "Hey, Matty, don't…"

"I'm Jeff!" Matt shrieked before bursting into tears.

Punk winced. "You'd think I'd know that by now," he muttered.