A/N: If you had to skip the last paragraph of the last chapter, I suggest you also skip the first one here (plus the italicized part). Same TW applies.

Maura felt the blade barely pierce her skin, a small trail of warm blood seeping out onto her neck. A threat. She closed her eyes and focused on her breathing, trying to shut out the fear, but it was useless. She prayed this man would believe them and let her go. She didn't want to die on the day she told her she loved her.

"Here!" Jane removed her watch and threw it at the mugger, turning his interest from Maura for a split second- just long enough to make her move. She grabbed his wrists, ripping him quickly away from Maura and pushed him into the brick face of the building behind him. She slammed the hand with the knife into the wall, bloodying his knuckles and forcing him to drop the weapon while pinning his hand against the brick. With her other hand grasping his other wrist, effectively restraining him against the wall, she drew her knee up forcefully into his groin. He groaned in agony, doubling over in pain, and she released his hands to punch him hard in the face, his head jerking with the force of the blow. Blood poured from his nose as she hit him again, busting his lip wide open and staining his teeth deep red. His hands flew to his face for protection, and she kicked him in the stomach, violently forcing the air from his lungs. When he fell to the ground, bloody and beaten, Jane picked the knife up off the ground and tossed it into a nearby trash can before enveloping Maura in her arms.

"Are you okay?" she asked, hurriedly looking Maura up and down.

"Yeah, I think so," she answered, her hand covering the cut on her neck.

"Let me see your neck."

"I'd rather not release pressure just yet. Let's just go back to the room so I can get a good look at it."

Jane jerked her head up in surprise. "Maura, we need to get you to a hospital! We need to call the police and have this asshole arrested!"

"No! Jane, we can't do that! It will be all over the news – it will be a huge mess." She looked at Jane with renewed panic in her eyes. "Please Jane, let's just go."

"Maura this is serious-"

"Jane, please," she begged.

Because she was apparently incapable of saying no to Maura, Jane agreed for the moment and they walked briskly back to the hotel, Maura clinging to her the entire way. When they got back to her suite, they went straight into the bathroom to examine Maura's neck. The fresh cut was just over half an inch long and not quite deep enough to require stitches. It had stopped bleeding, so they worked together to clean, seal, and bandage it with the supplies they found in the room's first aid kit. Maura repeatedly refused to see a doctor or to report the attempted mugging, despite Jane's many attempts to convince her otherwise. She was insistent that no one find out about the incident, lest any of the details make it to the press, especially her late night walk alone with Jane, and the kiss that her mugger likely witnessed before the attack. She only hoped he didn't know who she was, or that if he did, he'd keep his mouth shut, given the circumstances.

"You're absolutely sure we can't tell somebody about this?" Jane asked again, both frustrated and concerned.

"Can we please just drop it?" Maura pleaded, walking out of the bathroom to sit on the edge of the bed and remove her shoes.

Jane followed her. "Maura you could have been killed!"

As the adrenaline faded from her body, the realization began to set in for Maura that she really could have been killed. She could be dead right now – or worse, dying alone in the street – had Jane not been there to save her. She felt her heart rate increase, the pounding in her chest growing in intensity the more she thought about it. She tried to take a deep, slow breath, to clear her head of the images, but she couldn't seem to fill her lungs with air. It felt like someone was sitting on her chest.

"Maura, are you okay?" Jane stared into her panic-stricken eyes.

She looked up at Jane and swallowed, unable to speak. Her hands went numb and she started to shake.

"Oh baby, come here," Jane soothed, frustration now replaced entirely by worry. She sat down beside her and pulled Maura into her lap, wrapping her arms around her, and squeezed tightly. She gently rocked her back and forth, softly whispering words of comfort in her ear.

It took a long time, but eventually the trembling subsided, and Maura's heart rate seemed to return to normal. When she finally felt like she could breathe again, she rasped into Jane's ear a quiet but sincere, "Thank you."

"Are you okay?" she asked again.

Maura nodded.

Jane searched her eyes for confirmation. "What can I do?"

"Just hold me."

Jane hugged her tightly. "Come on, let's get under the covers."

They kicked off their shoes, removed their jeans and hoodies, and wiggled under the covers together. Jane pulled Maura to her chest, and Maura snuggled into the crook of her neck, the raw smell of Jane calming the rest of her over-excited nerves. They lay like that in silence for several minutes, just breathing each other in.

"Thank you for saving me," Maura said finally, her voice barely above a whisper.

"I'll always save you," Jane replied softly.

Maura smiled against her skin. "You were very... badass."

Jane chuckled. "Oh that's nothing. You should have seen me when I was on the force. I could easily take down guys twice his size. Drug dealers, murderers... I'd have 'em on the ground and in cuffs before they knew what hit 'em." She smiled fondly.

"You really liked being a detective, didn't you?"

"I loved it. I was damn good at it too."

"So why did you quit?"

Jane sighed heavily. "That's a loaded question."

Maura remained silent, hoping Jane would elaborate.

"I killed a man," she said finally. "A bad man, a very bad man. A serial killer."

"Is that a bad thing?" Maura was genuinely confused.

"Only because I didn't have to kill him," Jane admitted. "And I've never said that out loud to anyone."

"But he was a serial killer, right? Isn't the world a safer place without him?"

"Yes, definitely. But I shouldn't have done what I did. I should have arrested him, let him have his fair trial, and rot in prison for the rest of his life. That's what good cops do. It wasn't my place to do what I did." Jane felt nauseous even thinking about it.

"I'm sure you did what you had to do," Maura said, stroking her arm tenderly.

Jane shook her head. "No. I didn't have to kill him. But I was so angry, I- I wanted to. I made a conscious choice. I wanted to kill him and I did." Jane didn't know why she was spilling her deepest secret to Maura as if she was her therapist, but she couldn't stop. "In that moment, I became just like the killers I hunted down. I became one of them. And now I have to live with that every single day of my life. What I did. What I am."

Maura pulled away slightly to look at Jane's face. It was dark, contemplative. Worry lines creased her brow and her eyes seemed unfocused. Maura wanted to reach into whatever world Jane had slipped into and pull her out, bring her back. "One little moment of your past does not define who you are, Jane."

"Oh, there was nothing little about this moment, trust me." She went on to explain the entire Hoyt fiasco, starting from the very beginning. She told Maura about working the case, hunting him down, about being knocked out and pinned to the floor with scalpels, terrified of what he was about to do to her. "I never felt so scared, so vulnerable. That's just not me. I've always been the strong one, you know? The brave one, not afraid of anything. Hoyt changed that, and I guess I started to forget who I was."

"You don't seem afraid anymore."

"Well, being afraid made me angry, because that was easier for me, I guess. I was so mad all the time, and I wouldn't talk about it to anybody. They made me see a shrink, but I just said what I had to say so that I could get cleared for duty again. I took out my anger on every perp, every case. I took it out on my family, my co-workers. The few friends I had just sort of disappeared. Then when Hoyt escaped prison, he came after me again. I didn't seek him out, he came after me to finish what he'd started."

"So then wasn't it technically self-defense?"

"Officially, yes. Truthfully... not so much. I had already shot his accomplice in self-defense – that part doesn't bother me – and had subdued Hoyt with a taser. He was lying on the ground, pretty much defenseless. I stood over him and I aimed my gun at his chest, right at his heart. I looked him in the eyes," she paused and took a breath. She'd never told the real story to anyone. "And I shot him dead."

Maura laid her head on Jane's chest, trying to think of the right thing to say, but coming up empty. Instead, she traced slow patterns on Jane's arm.

"So you see," Jane said, "I'm the same as him now."

"No," Maura argued firmly. "You are not the same." She reached up to run her hand through Jane's hair. "You are strong. You are brave. You're smart. And you're a good person, Jane."

"No, I'm a killer."

She shook her head. "It's not that simple. Think of all the people who got to live because of what you did. All the potential victims whose lives you saved. You're a hero."

"I'm not a hero."

Maura leaned up on her elbow and looked into Jane's eyes, holding her with her gaze. "You are to me."

Jane stared back into hazel orbs, searching for signs of doubt, but not finding a single one. "I wish I could see myself the way you do."

Maura kissed her softly, and Jane closed her eyes, giving in to the passion that had been building. She pulled Maura closer, quickly deepening the kiss, letting all of her emotions flow through her. Her hands wandered from the back of Maura's head down to her shoulders and back, caressing the tight muscles, and landing finally on her firm backside. Maura's body reacted favorably to the touch, her hips began to roll and a small moan escaped her lips. The sound caused a jolt of electricity to run through Jane, straight to her core, and she felt wetness growing between her legs.

"Woah," she said, pulling back suddenly.

Maura blushed. "Sorry. Did I get carried away?"

"Uh no, actually I think I did," Jane sighed. "I'm still trying to figure this out."

"Figure what out, exactly?" Maura was genuinely confused.

"This. Us." Jane lowered her gaze to avoid looking at Maura. "The fact that I want to do things with you I've never even thought about with another woman."

"Such as?"

Jane's face reddened. "Don't make me say it."

Maura felt bold enough, though. "Sex?" Jane didn't answer, so she continued. "I've been thinking about it too."

Jane's head shot up. "Really?"

"Yes," she chuckled and gave Jane a sly smile. "A lot, actually."

"With me?" Jane pointed to her own chest, still in disbelief.

Now Maura had to outright laugh. "Yes, of course with you!"

Jane was momentarily relieved. "Wait. Have you ever – you know – with a woman before?"

"No. Though I've always found the idea rather... intriguing."

"Well what if we try it and we're no good at it?"

"Why are you so worried?" Maura wondered aloud.

"Because I don't want to lose you."

"Jane, what we have between us isn't going away over something as trivial as intercourse."

"Ugh, can you please not say the word 'intercourse' ever again?"

"I'm serious. If, on the off-chance, we're not 'good at it' as you say, then we'll simply have to keep practicing until we get 'good at it'. Fair enough?"

Jane smiled brightly and squeezed Maura again. "How did you get to be so perfect?"

"I'm not perfect, Jane."

"You are to me." She offered a soft kiss as evidence of her feelings. "But I don't know if I'm ready for... you know."

"That's okay. There's no rush," Maura assured her. "All I want right now is for you to hold me until I fall asleep."

"That, my dear, I can do."

Then with smiles and a kiss, they fell asleep in each others' arms.

That night, Maura's screams woke Jane in a panic. The room was dark and empty, except for the two of them, and it only took her a few seconds to realize that Maura was having a nightmare. She shook her gently.

"Maura..."

Still asleep, Maura pushed Jane away, screaming at her, hitting and kicking violently in the bed.

"Maura!" She yelled this time, grabbing Maura firmly by the shoulders, and her eyes shot open, wide and terrified. "Maura, honey, it was a dream. It was just a dream," she soothed, pulling the blonde to her chest and gripping her tightly.

Maura clung to Jane, trying to steady her breathing while surveying her surroundings. It took her a moment to be sure that she was in fact here, in the hotel suite with Jane, and not in an abandoned alley, bleeding to death alone on the pavement. A thick layer of sweat coated her body, and had drenched the twisted sheets beneath her.

"Jane," she whispered in relief, maintaining her firm grip.

"Shh, it's okay. I'm right here. Everything's okay."

When Maura calmed down, she pulled away to look at Jane, slightly embarrassed. "Sorry, I don't know what happened."

"I'm pretty sure what happened is that you had a nightmare," Jane said softly. "Do you want to talk about it?"

She shook her head. "I don't remember much."

"What do you remember?"

Maura took a few deep breaths. "Dying," she said finally, and looked down at her lap. "Alone."

"Hey." Jane put her hand under Maura's chin and lifted her face so they were eye to eye. "I will never let that happen, okay?"

Maura nodded. She knew Jane would do anything in her power to keep her safe, but she also knew that some things were out of her control. Her hand flew instinctively to the bandage on her neck. If Jane hadn't been there...

"Try not to think about it," Jane said, removing Maura's hand from the wound and holding it between her palms. "We have an early flight. Do you think you can sleep?"

"I'm going to try."

Neither of them really slept, but they held each other silently until the alarm went off, then got up to shower. Maura removed the bandage on her neck and covered the glue-sealed mark with makeup as best she could. The ride to the airport was quiet, as both women were too tired from lack of sleep to attempt conversation, and the three hour flight to Rome was no different. Their attempts to nap on the plane were thwarted by several bouts of turbulence, leaving Jane more than a little unsettled. There was no time to rest afterward either, because they had to go straight to the studio to begin hair and makeup for Maura's interview. Jane sipped coffee and watched, captivated, as Maura carried on a conversation in Italian with the makeup artist. She almost didn't notice when Charlie sat down next to her. In fact, she almost didn't notice Charlie at all, most of the time. He was a small man, close to Maura's height but chubbier, with ugly Simon Cowell-looking hair and eyebrows so high he looked perpetually surprised. His plain appearance and dainty voice made him typically inconspicuous, but there was a vexing air about him today that Jane noticed and tried to ignore.

"She's really something, isn't she?" He motioned toward Maura. His voice was quiet, but there was something mildly antagonistic in his tone that Jane didn't appreciate.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Sure."

He chuckled. "Nice. Act like it's nothing."

She was way too exhausted for this bullshit. "If you have something to say, Charlie, just say it. I'm too tired today for childish games."

"Aww, but I like games," he said mockingly.

Jane took a deep breath to calm her irritation. It didn't work. "Don't you have somewhere to be?"

"Nope. I'm her assistant, remember? I'm here to assist her."

"Well she's got plenty of assistance right now, so how about you run along? I'll come get you personally if she needs you."

"I bet you will."

"Charlie, so help me-

"I see the way you look at her. The way you two buddy up and run off together, spending all that time alone together in her room. It's inappropriate, you know."

Jane swallowed. She thought they'd been more careful in front of the others. And how did he know she'd been spending so much time in Maura's room? Their rooms were adjoined, no one could have known which one she was in at any given time. Perhaps he was guessing. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Okay, keep pretending. But you can't keep it a secret for long. People notice things. The looks, the little touches, holding hands on the plane... it's only a matter of time."

She huffed. "What are you saying, exactly?"

"I'm saying you should stop whatever it is you're doing. For her sake and yours. You'll lose your job, you'll get blacklisted. Worse yet, it could ruin her career. Do you really want to be responsible for that?"

Jane looked down. She knew the prick was right. "No."

"Good 'cause I don't wanna end up working for someone like Naomi Campbell."

Jane looked back up at Maura, smiling through her weariness as she chatted away in smooth Italian. She was so beautiful, in every way. And the way she made Jane feel when they were together – that feeling was completely incomparable to anything she'd ever felt, and probably ever would. This amazing woman had given her so much emotionally, had taken away her anger and replaced it with something wonderful. How could she return the favor by willingly ruining Maura's life?

When they finally got to the hotel suite that night, Maura could tell something was the matter with Jane.

"What's going on with you?" she asked as soon as the door shut behind them.

"Huh? Oh, nothing."

"Your body language suggests otherwise," she remarked with a raised eyebrow.

Jane sighed. Maura didn't miss a thing. "I'm just tired. It's been a long day on very little sleep."

"Sorry. I guess that's kind of my fault." Maura looked down at her hands.

"Hey," Jane grabbed Maura's hands in her own, suddenly feeling guilty. "It's not your fault, okay?" She wanted to kiss her, to pull her into her arms and tell her everything was just fine, but she didn't. "How's your neck?"

"It's fine. Doesn't hurt."

"Did the makeup artist say anything?"

"I just told her I'd had a little incident last night. I didn't elaborate and she didn't ask."

"That's good." She let go of Maura's hands and turned towards her own room. "Well, I'm exhausted. We should probably try to get some sleep."

Maura furrowed her brow as she watched Jane walk away into her own room. She decided to go ahead and change into her pajamas and wait on the couch for Jane to return. When Jane failed to come back after several minutes, dressed for bed as usual, Maura decided to go investigate. She tiptoed quietly through the door to the adjoining room and found Jane sitting on the edge of the bed, hunched over with eyes closed and her head in her hands.

"Jane?" she asked tentatively, "is everything okay?"

Jane's looked up, her pained expression almost too much for Maura to bear. "Uh, yeah. I told you, I'm just tired. I might, um, sleep in here tonight."

Maura stepped back as if she'd been slapped. "Alone?"

"If that's alright with you."

"Of course," she said slowly, wrapping her arms around herself. "Staying with me – or not staying with me – is always your choice, Jane."

Jane knew what choice she wanted to make, but she did what she felt was best. "Okay," she said with a tight smile. "Goodnight then."

"Goodnight."

Maura turned to leave, but then she stopped. This didn't feel right. She couldn't give up this easily. Not on Jane.

"But first," she said, turning back to face Jane again, "can I make one request? Not as someone you work for, but as your friend?"

Jane shrank back. She didn't want to hear Maura's request because her willpower was fading. She was hurting Maura, she could see it, and it was breaking her heart. She needed her to leave, so she nodded her consent to get this request over with.

"Please tell me why." Maura's voice broke on the last word and a single tear fell down her cheek.

Jane's resolve shattered. She jumped off the bed and hugged Maura tightly. "It's because I love you," she whispered.

"What?"

"I love you, Maura, and I don't want to be your downfall."

"Jane, what in the world are you talking about?"

She sighed and pulled Maura down on the edge of the bed, sitting next to her. "Charlie said something to me today."

"Okay...?"

"He's noticed... the way we interact. He knows there's something going on between us."

"Charlie's my PA. He signed a contract with a confidentiality clause, which he's legally bound to abide by. He can't say anything or he could be sued, and he knows that."

"I doubt he's the only one, Maura. If he's noticed, other people eventually will too."

Maura took a deep breath. "Maybe we'll just have to be more careful when we're around other people. We'll... not hold hands on the plane, we'll avoid touching each other at all in public if we have to. But this is our safe haven, Jane. This is where we can be together however we want and it's no one's business but ours."

"We're risking your career!"

"You don't think I know that?"

"Don't you care?"

"Jane, if my acting career goes up in flames because I fell in love with you, then it will be my fault, not yours. Let me worry about that."

"See that's the thing, I don't want you to worry about it. I don't want to be the cause of your worry at all."

"Well that's tough, Jane, because I worry everyday that you're going to get scared and run off on me. Pretty much like you're doing now."

"I'm sorry Maura, the last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you. I'm just trying to do what's best for you."

"No, you're trying to do what you think is best for me. But in this case you're wrong." She brushed a stray lock of hair from Jane's face and tucked it lovingly behind her ear before placing a meaningful kiss on her lips. Her eyes were full of unshed tears when she looked into Jane's chocolate eyes. "What's best for me, Jane, is you."