A/N: Sorry for the long delay. The holidays were crazy around here and on top of everything else, my computer caught some virii. It's fixed now, although updating will likely still be spotty for awhile (stupid real life :P). Happy New Year, everyone!
A/N: I don't own the wrestlers! I do own Pixie and Betsy. As always, it's meant in fun.
The Mizard Of Odd
Chapter 79: Miz and the Fight
Several things happened when the van got back to the hotel. Miz bolted out of the van and hid around the side of the building, watching at a safe distance for Mark Henry. Punk fell out, with Matt tumbling on top of him like an overgrown puppy, still wailing about his car and pulling Punk's hair. Teh D followed the m out, pouncing on the pair and trying to separate them. When she did get them apart, even for a moment, she clung to Punk. Jack sat down beside the brawl and offered helpful advice to Teh D about the fight. HB was just getting out of the van when Mark lumbered into view, let out a howl of outraged fury, and launched himself at the van. The vehicle rocked on its' wheels, tipping ever so slightly and causing the brawlers to pause, Punk with the car still attached to his head, to stare in disbelief at the tilting vehicle.
"I'm a bull!" Mark screeched, again hitting the van. "And you stole my cookies!"
"I think I have some fruit snacks?" Teh D said, staring up at the rocking van.
"You do?" Mark asked, but his words were drowned out by Matt.
"Fruit snacks! Those are MINE!"
"Rahr!" said Mark, hitting the van again.
"Do something, Miz!" HB said, as he retreated to safety.
Miz bit his lip. "Drew! Drew! Drew!" he screamed.
Matt immediately let go of the car and turned to stare at Miz. "What are you doing?" HB growled.
"Trying to give us a chance."
Matt tilted his head, then turned to watch Mark, who was still roaring something fierce. "Rawr?"
"Oh thank Dad," Punk said, as he crawled to where Miz and HB were, dragging Teh D along behind him because she still had a death grip on one of his legs. "We got Godzilla." He turned to Jack, his eyebrows raised. "Little help here, friend?"
"Sure," Jack said. "Teh D, I think Punk's safe now."
"You can never be too sure," came the muffled words as Teh D had pulled her hoodie down over her face for protection from the van's imminent collaspe.
"I'm pretty sure," Punk said. "It's okay to let go now."
Miz turned away from the argument about whether or not Punk was safe to the fight brewing between Mark and Matt. The former was pawing the ground with his foot and snorting. It wasn't a pretty sight. The latter was walking as though he were carrying a beach ball, fully inflated, and growling like an angry dog. "Are you sure they'll be okay?" HB asked.
"Positive," Miz said. "Too bad we don't have any popcorn. This fight looks like it could be epic."
"That's terrible! What if they hurt each other?"
"They won't," Miz said., "I saw them fight once or twice while we were at the hospital. So long as Matt's not Matthew, he dislikes pain and violence. In fact, you can make him behave with a sharp word or two. Watch." He stood up and yelled, "Godzilla!" causing Matt to flinch and turn to stare at him reproachfully. "You shouldn't be bullying that poor bull! What did he ever do to you? His kind keep you fed! In fact, if anyone has a case here, it's got to be the Bull."
"I don't know," Punk said, standing and dusting himself off. "In those movies, I pretty much always root for Godzilla. Unless he's against Mothra, that is. Then nobody wins."
"Hmm, maybe we can get someone to safely pretend to be Mothra?" said HB.
"He'd probably kill them," Miz said, tilting his chin at the headlock Matt was now putting on Mark. "He's holding his own, which isn't that surprising, considering his opponent thinks he's a side of beef."
"Moo! Moo! I'll kill you, Godzilla!" Mark yelled enthusiastically.
"Rawr!" Matt roared back, clearly enjoying himself.
Jeff picked that moment to come out and join them. "Uh, what's going on with Mark and my brother?"
"They're just blowing off some steam," said Miz. "It's kind of like animal fight club. Except if it were, we wouldn't be able to talk about it."
"Doesn't that rule only apply to the animals in animal fight club?" HB asked.
"Good point," Miz said. "So we can talk about it all we want."
"Besides," Punk said, "it's really less of an animal fight club, which would be morally wrong, and more of a people who think they're animals fight club, which is okay. I mean, letting the real Godzilla fight a real cow wouldn't be cool."
"Om nom nom!" Matt yelled.
"What?" Miz said. "Godzilla doesn't say 'om nom nom'."
Matt paused, mid struggle and frowned at Miz. "Vroom?"
"No, that's not right, either."
"Erm. Roor?"
"Much better," Punk said, and Miz nodded.
"If you're going to be Godzilla, the least you can do is stay in character." Miz sighed. "And we still have no popcorn. This is better than the last Godzilla movie I saw."
"Which one was that?" Jeff asked.
"Godzilla meets Elvis?" Miz said.
"I'm pretty sure that's not a real movie," Punk said.
"Hmm. Maybe it was Godzilla Takes Manhattan?"
"I'm think that was a Jason movie," Punk said. "Or maybe a Muppet movie."
"Godzilla and the Chamber of Secrets?" Punk shook his head. "Snow White and the seven Godzillas?"
"Nope, not a Godzilla movie," HB said.
"Well, it doesn't matter what movie it was," Miz said. "Whatever it was, this is way better." He paused, frowning. "How about Ghostzilla?"
"Now you're just being weird," Jack said, looking up from where he and Teh D had been holding a conference.
Miz sighed. "I'm pretty sure it was Godzilla takes Manhattan."
"For the sake of what's left of my sanity," said Jeff, "let's just say it was and move on, shall we?"
"Sure," Miz said. "It was a terrible movie, anyway."