Yes. The rating has changed to M. This is not because of sex (d'aww), but because I really don't think I can get away with such a massive amount of swearing and crude reference any more. (Apparantely T fics are supposed to only have the occasional swear, and rarely the F-word. Whoopsie).
I doubt it if you've read this fic so far, but if you don't know what Kaito and Gakupo of the Vocaloids look like, it's kind of relevant to this chapter especially, so thou might desire to look it up.
Eren had his face pressed up against the glass of the bus window, his tongue out, lapping hungrily over the glass in a way that would even disgust an excited puppy. He eagerly called out for the attention of the man sitting next to him. Humanity's greatest popstar had been trying to sleep throughout their bus journey to the concert site – it was many long hours – but Eren had just woken him up again every time he tried to close his eyes.
"Levi Levi Levi Levi Levi Levi-"
"Shut up Eren!" Levi barked, slapping his hand over Eren's mouth to quiet him (and immediately regretting it due to the overhanging tongue). "What did I say? Don't call me that unless you wanna ruin my goddamn career!"
Eren whimpered a little, but soon started up his attention-seeking again, pointing out the window. "Heichou Heichou Heichou Heichou look look look look."
"What."
"WE'RE AT THE STADIUM."
Well, Levi supposed that was a subject of interest. He was safely belted into a seat next to Eren on their uber-amazing bus of jpop glory, so he had to awkwardly lean over his seat to glance out the window. Through the trail of saliva that the eager Eren had left behind, he looked out.
The stadium wasn't the biggest that Levi had ever performed in, but it was still mightily sizeable. It lay in the heart of Tokyo, searchlights flashing columns of radiant light up into the sky – 'sure to cause some kind of aircraft accident or other,' Levi thought disapprovingly to himself – and there were even smatterings of fireworks going off. There was a blimp floating carelessly above, proclaiming that this was, indeed the first round of the SoundTitan! Qualifiers: round Maria. There would be many nights of competition, since there were so many different competing bands, but this was the first one. The grand opening night.
The stadium itself looked vaguely like the O2 centre in London, but a lot less like a shitty jellyfish and a lot more like a place for epic musical battles to go down. Levi had performed in the O2 centre of course, but that place was really the home turf of One Direction – it wasn't really a good site for jpop. Those British monsters could be just as vicious as the Vocaloids sometimes.
There were countless people pouring inside, and those that the ReCON!KISS bus drove past turned around to openly stare at the vehicle. It did have the band's faces printed all over the side of it. The mystery entry from the Survey Corps music company, that no one knew anything about. Today was the grand revealing.
Armin was getting excited seeing all the girls screaming at them from outside. He'd already pee'd himself several times on the many-hour bus journey, it was hard for Eren to imagine that the blond could possibly produce any more urine.
That day, Eren learned not to underestimate Armin's bladder.
"Jesus Armin get yourself together I swear goddamn if you piss yourself while we're on stage I will rip your throat out!" Eren screamed to the other side of the bus.
Armin, in fright, just tried to nuzzle into Jean who was sitting next to him. Jean was equally disgusted, so he just shoved Armin away. Mikasa sighed deeply. She had very little faith in these boys for this competition. Perhaps if Eren was able to restrain his urges and wouldn't rip his shirt off in the middle of the performance, and Connie wouldn't be so stupid as to forget the lyrics, they would have a chance.
She looked at the boy on the seat next to her and saw Connie picking his nose vividly.
There was little hope for that.
Well, at least she wouldn't be blamed if they failed. She'd tried her hardest to teach those losers how to dance properly.
"HEICHOU IT'S THE VOCALOID BUS. THEY ARE HERE." Eren pointed once more to another bus, zooming forward in the lane next to them, also waiting to get into the carpark. It had Mikus painted all over the side. Eren could see the Armoured Kaito himself inside – all of them had grown down to normal human size to fit on the bus. Because Vocaloids were so powerful they could even change their size.
Eren banged on his window, and to his surprise, Kaito actually looked his way. Those big blue eyes so seemingly innocent.
Eren flipped out his middle finger on both hands and mouthed "FUCK YOU" with fire burning in his eyes.
Rin, also on the Vocaloid bus, whose eyes happened to pass over him, started crying when she saw that. Angry Eren was bloody terrifying.
Heichou gave Eren a short slap across the face.
"Calm down Eren. Save your rage for the competition. We aren't even in the same bracket as the Vocaloid titans for the first round. We won't have to face them for ages to come."
Eren slowly managed to rein in his ragged breathing, but his heart kept beating at a thousand miles an hour. As the bus pulled into the stadium, as they went through the employee entrance, and were rushed along to their dressing rooms to get makeup and costume done...
Inside the stadium, they could already hear the pounding of music pulsating from the stage. The time for jpop would come soon.
"Hmmmn, Armin, come here!" Hanji cackled maniacally, creeping up to the blond boy. "Just let me put a little bit of lipstick on you. Some nice, pink lipstick to make you look even more delicious!" She waved the open tube of lipstick in the air, jabbing it towards Armin like a sword.
Talent Manager Erwin sighed, turning to Oluo. "Make sure she's not allowed to touch the boys until after the show is over." Oluo nodded, and pushed Hanji away, grabbing her arms and dragging her out of the dressing room, kicking and screaming.
The five members of ReCON!KISS were sat on stools in front of a long mirror, faces illuminated by a cavalcade of lights. They'd already donned their performance costumes – which were obviously jet black leather shirts and pants, with fake panther-black fur trim on another pitch black jacket. Hanji had been the one to design them. The boys' Talent Manager watched as they were prepared for the contest, their hair and makeup being done by the Survey Corps' Historia, Petra, Sasha and an exasperated Mikasa. Erwin thought it might not have been the wisest idea to let Hanji design something like that. In leather, Heichou practically looked like a dominatrix with that enraged glare he always carried around. This competition was going to be broadcast on national TV and...
Erwin's eyes wandered. Wait, was Heichou not even wearing underpants underneath his trousers? How the hell had Hanji even convinced him to...
Connie was getting so excited, he practically jumping up and down in his chair, and Petra had difficulty keeping him still to apply the makeup to his face. "Guys! We're the first act! It's only half an hour until we go on stage."
Jean had his eyes closed, and sighed. He was almost as annoyed as Mikasa. Armin had pee'd on him one too many times while they were on the bus. Mikasa blushed slightly as the ran the comb smoothly through his hair. At least she wasn't the only sane person here.
"Exactly. Only half an hour," Erwin reminded them, checking his watch. "So it's crucial that we are ready by then. We are just about on time for your preparations, but we can't afford to make any mistakes. If one of you wanders off, or experiences an accident, we may well miss the performance. Everything must run perfectly."
Every one of the boys turned and glared at Armin when Erwin mentioned an 'accident.' Armin tried to sink down into his chair, away from their laser-like stares.
"What?!" Armin wailed. "Why are you all looking at me! It's so scary! I haven't done anything wrong!"
Eren smashed a fist down onto the makeup table in front of them, upsetting many bottles. "That means stop freakin' pissing yourself Armin." Once he was done shouting, his eyes sent additional fireballs towards the younger boy. "OR WE WILL ALL PERISH."
That was too much for Armin. He cowered and wailed even more, and soon Eren could see a dark, wet stain growing on the front of his pants.
"GOD FUCKING DAMMIT ARMIN WHAT DID I JUST SAY?" Eren yelled, loud enough that Connie cringed and covered his ears.
"I'm s-s-s-sorry, Eren," Armin whimpered. "You can just be so intimidating at-"
Rivaille snorted. "How does he even have that much urine in him? He must have pissed out twenty gallons in the last twelve hours alone."
"I'll go-go-go to the toilet!" Armin stammered. "And I'll wash it off my pants and clean myself up! I'll be back in just a minute, honest!"
Groans filled the room. Erwin's headache grew. This was exactly what he'd prayed wouldn't happen. Why the hell had he thought these boys would make a good band? They all scored top marks on singing and dancing, but their minds were pretty messed up. "Fine." Erwin decreed. "But bring Heichou with you. I don't want you getting yourself locked in the toilet stall, or slipping on a wet floor, or getting your trouser zippers stuck."
Hell, he was right. 'Armin + bathroom = all kinds of possible hell,' Eren thought. He hated to have Heichou leave his side so soon before their moment of glory on stage, but it had to be done, or else Armin would doom them all.
Levi's knuckles went RGB FFFFFF white with annoyance, but he got up from his chair, pushed stylist Petra away, and beckoned Armin crudely "Fine. Let's go already."
Armin, too terrified to say another word, scampered up and after him. Rivaille opened the door neatly and stepped out, Armin following closely behind.
Eren trusted Levi entirely. He would surely bring Armin back in time for their performance.
When the door opened, after Armin and Levi had left, Hanji (having been restrained outside) managed to creep back in, and insisted on putting hairgel on all the boys to make them look more badass.
Even as his insane manager ran her hands through his hair, Eren's mind was miles away. He was full of worry. They wouldn't miss the performance. Armin wouldn't fuck everything up. Heichou would bring Armin back.
Wouldn't he?
"I'm not going into the bathroom with you." Heichou stated, arms crossed. He and Armin were outisde the mens' room.
"But what if I can't put my pants back on after I've cleaned them?" Armin whined.
Levi shuddered. Just going into a public bathroom was so utterly unsanitary. The mere thought of the toilet seats, used hundreds of times without cleaning, sickened him. There was no way he would both go inside the bathroom, and help Armin clean his piss-stained trousers. It was too much. He might even faint himself just thinking about it.
"I will wait outside." Levi compromised. "If you really, really have life-threatening pants issues, I will grant my assistance." Tch. The things he had to stoop to do to stop the Vocaloids.
Armin nodded, blubbering, and dashed inside the toilet. Levi crossed his arms, leaned against the wall, and closed his eyes.
The lyrics to their song ran through his head. He'd sung it a thousand times, gone through the dance routine just as often, but some last minute revision always helped. It was always tough, going with the opening act. You had to ensure that the judges didn't forget you by the end of the competition. Thankfully, the Vocaloids were in a separate bracket, so they didn't have the difficult opposition just yet. He only prayed that Eren wouldn't flip his shit when he saw the Vocaloid titans watching them in the audience.
They could win, he knew they could. He'd written the song himself, of course it was winning material.
The song was winning material, but whether they actually made it onto the stage was another matter...
Because even the professional Heichou, master of jpop, prepared for all situations, could have never anticipated this.
Later, with his eyes still closed, Levi heard two voices approaching him.
"This~is~the~one~that~Miku~told~us~about?"
"Hai~. We must restraaaaaain~ him."
They weren't ordinary human voices. They spoke in song, varying in tones, creating smooth glissandos. Every word was a beautiful melody. But there was something very abnormal about their pitch. It sounded artificial. These were the voices of robots.
Levi's eyes snapped open at once, and saw two monsters creeping up to him.
The Vocaloids had arrived.
Aberrant Gakupo stepped back when he saw Levi had noticed them, purple hair swaying and bobbing impossibly in the air, defying gravity. His current size was 4 meter class, but since the Vocaloids were nothing but digital projections, they could grow however large they pleased.
Next to him was the Armoured Kaito, who flipped his flowing scarf behind his blue head of hair, his expression one of pure, concentrated evil.
"You going to try anything funny?" Levi growled as the two titans cast their enormous shadows over him. They may have been four meters tall, but Levi had lived the thug lyfe as an underground rapper. He knew how to deal with upstart punks such as these two. He'd beaten up far tougher guys. The kinds that actually had facial hair and beards. He hadn't yet fulfilled his lifelong dream of punching Snoop Dogg in the balls, but it was still on his itinerary.
"We~are~going~to~kidnap~you~so~you~can't~perform!" Gakupo sang, in an arpeggio. He leaned down, stretching out his hands to grab the small man.
"Like hell you will!" Levi shouted, and drove his leg straight up in the air to kick the purple haired titan between the legs. Gakupo reached down to grab the wounded, tender area. If only Levi had some numchucks or something, he could murder these punk ass bastards and make it back in time for the show.
While Gakupo was recovering, the Armoured Kaito threw a punch towards Levi from the other direction. Rivaille ducked under, dodging it, and delivering a kick to Kaito's shins.
"Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii~" Kaito wailed, covering a full octave.
Levi felt pretty pleased with himself, and cracked his knuckles.
He felt a clamp-like arm grab his from behind. It was the Aberrant Gakupo again. Levi tried to wiggle free, but his grasp was several times stronger than any human. He gritted his teeth, and tried to swing a punch towards Gakupo's face as the giant leaned down to restrain him. He cursed under his breath as he missed, and Gakupo caught his other arm. The purple haired bastard twisted him, until his hands were both behind his back. He kicked and squirmed, but he couldn't get free.
They may have been able to restrain him, but what was to stop him from escaping the moment Gakupo let go? He just needed to wait for a chance, keep struggling, and dash off in front of them. He wouldn't lose a fight to these puny 4-meter Vocaloids.
But then Kaito pulled something out from inside a pocket in his coat.
Levi's eyes widened.
It was a long stick, but it was so much more than that. No, it wasn't some kinky sex toy. For it had something very white and bristly at the end.
It was a toilet brush.
Kaito couldn't be serious, he wouldn't dare...
The Armoured monster grinned evilly, and slowly brought the toilet brush closer and closer to Levi's face. Rivaille's eyes crossed as he stared at the disgusting object. 'What if it's actually been in a toilet?' Levi panicked. 'Think of all the scrubbing that's been done with it. Think of what's been scrubbed...'
It was too much.
So, when the toilet brush was but a mere few centimeters from his face, the panicked cleanfreak Levi Rivaille fainted.
Armin heard some kind of commotion going on outside the mens' room. He didn't have his pants on – they were still rammed underneath the sink with water running on them. So, in his underwear, he crept over to the door, opened it a fraction and peeked outside.
He let out a shriek at the sight he saw.
Armoured Kaito had Heichou, unconscious, slung over his shoulder like he was a shopping bag. And next to him was Gakupo. The very same Gakupo that he'd had so many depraved nightmares about. That same sadistic grin from his dreams was plastered on the Aberrant's face, as he heard the mens' room door squeak.
Gakupo looked dead straight towards Armin, those purple eyes boring into his soul.
Armin screamed again.
He slammed the mens' room door, and ran to lock himself inside one of the stalls, hyperventilating as he sat down atop the toilet and hugged his knees.
But it was too late.
"Kaitooo~" Gakupo's deep voice sung back to his companion. "This~boy~is~with~them~too~! I shall kid~naaap~him!"
So Kaito went off down the corridor, with Heichou on his shoulder. Then, once again the door to the mens' room creaked open. Armin heard colossal padding footsteps. 'Gakupo is coming to kill meee!' Armin cried to himself. He was so frightened he couldn't even pee his pants.
The ceiling to the mens' room was low, so thankfully, Gakupo had to bend down, and he couldn't see over the top of the stall. So he kicked in the doors of the stalls, until his foot met with the one that was locked. The stall lock strained at the force. Armin kept cowering. How long could it hold up? Gakupo kicked again, and the lock once again barely kept the door closed.
How was he ever going to get out of this mess?!
"God damn!" Eren raged from within their changing room. "It's only ten minutes until the show starts! What the hell is Armin doing?" He merely said what everyone else in the room had been thinking. For the last fifteen minutes, the air had been very tense.
"Maybe he saw the free catering table!" stylist Sasha suggested, chewing about 5 sticks at gum leisurely.
"Maybe he dropped the soap in the bathroom and got gangbanged!" Hanji offered eagerly, grinning at the thought. Connie shuddered.
"JEAN, CONNIE, COME WITH ME!" Eren yelled, jumping out of his chair violently and storming towards the door. "We've gotta go find his sorry ass."
Mikasa wondered vaguely why she wasn't invited. She could probably find Armin and Heichou in a couple seconds flat, and would be much better at fighting off any danger. Probably Eren had ignored her because she was a girl, and Eren always preferred a sausagefest when he had the option. Not like she cared anyway. If they lost the competition, it would mean she wouldn't have to think up any more dance routines.
Before anyone could protest, the three boys were out the room, storming through the backstage area towards the bathrooms. They walked in silence. Eren didn't want to be annoyed by that loser Jean, and Jean didn't want to anger volcano!Eren any more than he already was. Connie's mind was completely devoid of any thought, as per usual, so he didn't have anything to say.
They pushed rudely past many other bands and stage workers. Eren steamrolled a girl band, causing them all to shriek. Connie accidentally bumped into a very pissed off looking Dot Pixis – the famous soloist disco raver who was a massive hit in the 80s. He was wearing white flare jeans, and a v-neck jacket, exposing much of his chest. He snapped at Connie, who hurriedly apologised.
At last they reached the bathroom door, and Eren gasped.
Far down a corridor on the side – one that was practically empty, one that led far away from the stage to an unused part of the stadium – he saw the Armoured Kaito. He was running at full pelt into the darkness.
And Eren's beloved senpai was slung over his shoulder carelessly. Hopeless.
Eren wasn't going to let him get away with that.
He could vaguely hear high pitched yelps and wails emanating from within the bathroom – presumably Armin's, for they were coming from inside the mens' room. But he didn't care about that.
"You guys go rescue Armin," he ordered. "I have a Vocaloid to beat down."
"Eren," Connie started. "How are you-"
But Eren didn't hear him. He just ran.
Eren began sprinting like a mad wolf after Levi, leaving Jean and Connie far behind. Blood pumped through his veins. There was adrenaline and testosterone all over the place. He was even faster than the mischievous Kaito.
He ran and ran and ran, the future of jpop riding on his shoulders. With every step, he closed the gap between him and Kaito. He was faster than that lumbering giant, because he had so much to fight for. If Levi didn't sing with them today, all their hard work would be ruined. The Armoured Kaito turned around when he heard footsteps, and tried to increase his speed once he noticed the pursuer.
He didn't run fast enough.
"OI KAITO." Eren yelled out, tauntingly. "That's my man you got there!"
Heichou might have rejected that statement, but he was unconscious, so it didn't matter.
Kaito screeched to a stop when he reached the end of the corridor. He put Heichou down on the floor, moved into a battle stance, and growled at Eren.
"RAWR!" Eren growled in reply.
"You~~~think you can fight me~!?" Kaito hummed, cruelly amused. It was true. The Vocaloid titan was four meters tall, much bulkier and stronger than the puny boy.
But for some reason, Eren just chuckled. He had no idea what he was doing. His thoughts were scattered. The battle rage was getting into his head. Something within him told him he could win this. The instincts took over his body. He'd never been in a real fight before, but he knew he was about to kick Kaito's ass. It was a gut feeling within him. And it felt better than sex.
Eren's heart drove him to raise up his hand. His mind was in a frenzy as it drove him to bite down upon his thumb, hard. Blood gushed everywhere, but it just fuelled his rage.
A strange, magical feeling washed over him. His arms and legs were growing, becoming longer and thinner. Any muscles he had were converted into slender bishonen limbs, like the kind that anime characters had. His eyes grew to at least three times their normal size, making him look twenty times less masculine and a hundred times more kawaii. The massive eyes glimmered. Now he was at least five meters tall.
He waved a hand out in front of himself, hardly believing what he was seeing. It didn't look real any more. All the human imperfections were gone, and it didn't even feel solid. It was almost as if it were a drawing, or a digital animation projected into the air.
A perfect-looking, massive digital character projected into the air?
Oh, that sounded awfully similar to a certain group of titans that Eren had loathed his entire life.
He could see the fear in Kaito's eyes. This was a new, mad, unstoppable monster.
Eren tried to laugh, but he could only sing out a musical, "Ha~! Ha~! Ha~!" in a neat, melodious triad.
And that was the day that Eren Jaeger first transformed into a Vocaloid.
The battle against the titans would never be the same again.
Phew! I worked so hard on that! I'm very proud of that chapter. There was very little OOC! It was what I imagined when I first thought of ideas for this fic!
Remember that reviews and favourites help keep Levi fabulous!