I was in a trance, not entirely sure if what just happened was real. The baby was in my arms, crying and all I could do was stare it helplessly.
"Let me see the baby." I heard Hershel say distantly. Daryl watched me with unsure eyes, ready to catch me if need be. I felt sick to my stomach and my head was pounding, "Beau," Hershel's voice came again, this time quieter. My head snapped up to look at him and he nodded at me. "Let me see the baby."
Carl walked up to me quietly, holding his hands out to take his sister. Slowly I handed it over to him and watched him walk away. I followed Carl over to Hershel, Daryl beside me.
"What are we gonna feed it?" Daryl asked, suddenly concerned for its well-being. "We got anything a baby can eat?" Carl held the child out to Hershel and he pulled the jacket away from it's face.
"The good news is she looks healthy." Hershel said, forcing a smile.
"She?" Daryl asked.
"It's a girl." I whispered numbly.
"She needs formula, and soon or she wont survive." Hershel looked up at me gravely. I felt myself snapping back to reality, suddenly everything was clear again.
"No. No way. I'm not losing her." I looked over at Daryl, pleadingly. He nodded, shouldering his crossbow.
"I'm going for a run." He said finally.
"I'll back you up." Maggie called from across the courtyard; she'd finally stopped crying as well.
"I'm going too." Glenn chimed in.
"I'm going to." I said quietly, following. Daryl stopped, looking at me quietly. He shook his head.
"I think ya should stay, Darlin', you've had a long day." His words were soft, he was babying me. I didn't like it.
"No, I am going." I paused, looking back at the others, at the baby that was now in Beth's arms. "I can't stay here, please, let me go." Daryl sighed, running a hand down his face.
"Okay, think where we're going." Daryl looked down at me and I nodded, running over to where Maggie and Glenn stood. Glenn gave me a tight smile, but I shook it off.
"There has to be a supermarket around, Maggie, where's your map?" She pulled it out and we found the freeway, planning to make a run for the first exit. Daryl began shouting orders that people immediately followed.
"Beau! Maggie, Glenn, vaminos!" he whistled, catching our attention. "Get the gate! C'mon! We're gonna lose the light!" Glenn headed for the gate and I ran after Daryl towards one of the trucks.
"There's a Piggly Wiggly at 85." I told him as we ran. Maggie shook her head.
"No, the baby section's been cleared. Lori asked me to keep an eye out and I haven't had much luck." I scowled, cursing under my breath.
"Is there anyplace that hasn't been completely looted?" Daryl asked me as we reached the truck. I looked at Maggie and then to Glenn, he seemed to be remembering something.
"We saw signs for a shopping center, just north of here."
"There's too much debris on the road, a car will never get through there." Maggie explained, looking between Daryl and I. I looked up at Daryl and he nodded at me, signaling to his motorcycle.
"Looks like its you and me Darlin. Where's your bow?" I grabbed my shoulder, but it wasn't there. I glanced back at the cellblock and Daryl shook his head. "Hasn't been cleared, you got your pistol?"
"Yeah." I reached behind me, grabbing it out to show him. Daryl reached into his bag, pulling out two clips of ammo and tossing them to me. "Keep it handy."
We pulled up to a daycare not far from the prison. I thought it a good place to stop considering all of the kids toys left out in the yard. We hopped off the bike and Daryl drew his crossbow.
"Company's close." He said warily, eyeing the back of my waistband where I kept my gun. I reached behind me, pulling it out and holding it in front of me. Once he was satisfied he took point. "Keep tight."
Slowly I approached the building, checking for any signs of movement through the window. I didn't see any so I buried my face I my elbow, smashing out the glass with my pistol, breaking a big enough piece out so we could enter. I hesitated, knowing if anything heard me they'd come running, but nothing did.
I climbed in, flinching as I landed loudly on the broken glass. I cursed under my breath, looking around the room. I took it as a good sign that the first room I entered was for smaller children, and quickly got to work looting it.
I flung open the cabinets, grabbing up bottles, blankets, diapers, anything I could get my hands on. There was movement at the window and I turned, firearm raised. Daryl raised his hands and an eyebrow at me, climbing in. I sighed, lowering my piece and returning to the cabinet in front of me.
"There's not much here, hopefully we'll find more in another room." I said quietly, looking up at him. Daryl grunted at me in reply, staring down at me. He shifted awkwardly clearing his throat. I looked up at him, he seemed like he wanted to say something, but he remained quiet, instead walking to the door.
Daryl entered the hallways first, the door creaking behind us. It was dark, but it was walker free, something I found increasingly comforting. A faint scratching noise could be heard and we approached the room cautiously. I peaked first, the room was clear, some kind of kitchen, but the closet was closed, the scratching coming from inside of it.
I crossed in front of it, eyeing it warily. In one swift movement I threw it open, jumping back. I was met face to face with a possum and I cried out in fear as it hissed at me. A bolt flew, sticking it deeply, knocking it dead and I brought my hand to my mouth.
My heart was beating a mile a minute, but all I could do was laugh. We both looked so ridiculous, me screaming and Daryl with his flashlight in his mouth. I looked up at him, still laughing and he narrowed his eye at me. After a few seconds he cracked a small smile.
"Hello dinner." He exclaimed, picking it up. I looked at him, disgusted, before turning to the overhead cabinets.
"I'm not putting that in my bag." I retorted, glancing at him over my shoulders. He was staring at me, a mix of emotions on his face, and he cleared his throat.
"Are ya okay?" He asked quietly. I put my hands on the counter, leaning on them and sighing, staring at the counter top. We stood quietly for a minute and I shifted from one foot to the other, not looking at him. I turned around slowly, pushing my hair out of my eyes.
"I'm fine." My words were quiet, barely above a whisper. I crossed my arms in front of my chest and leaned against the counter. He gave me a look, one that told me he didn't believe me, and I sighed again. I shook my head slowly, biting back tears. "I am fine." I said more to myself than to him.
"Look darlin," Daryl hesitated, thinking about what he was going to say. "I can't imagine what ya jus had ta do in there'n I wont pretend like I can because honestly I don't wanna." I looked up at him, sniffing once. "But ya brought a life into this world today, and no matter how ya feel about yourself right now, I'm proud of you." I smiled, shaking my head.
"You have to say that."
"Don't have ta say nothing'n. I don't say things I don't mean." I smiled at him and he returned it, to a lesser extent, his eyes searching my face. Neither of us spoke and after a few seconds I turned back around, opening the cabinets.
There were shelves of formula and bottles, pacifiers. I grinned, leaning to the side so Daryl could see. I immediately began to bag them up when I stopped, turning to him again.
"Where was Carol and T?" I asked, thinking back to how they were missing. Daryl swallowed hard, biting his lip. I closed my eyes, wishing I hadn't asked. Daryl looked at the ground, leaving his bag on the countertop for me to fill as he quietly left the room.
It was nightfall by the time we got back, the prison was dark and desolate looking. I was greeted by the sound of a baby crying as soon as I walked in.
"Maggie!" I called. She stood up immediately, running over to me. I threw my bag on the table, reaching in to pull out a can of formula and a bottle. She handed me a bottle of water and I held the can up to my face, quietly reading the directions.
The screaming died down and I turned, surprised to find Daryl holding the new baby in his arms. He shushed, her, cooing her, rocking her into calm. I raised an eyebrow at him, it was a good look on him, fatherhood. He glanced up at me and then to the bottle in my hands, reminding me what I was doing.
Once I was done preparing the formula I walked over, handing the bottle to him. He smiled at me, thanking me, and gave it to her. I watched him feed the baby, my heart melting a little with every passing second. He chuckled, smiling up at me as we all watched him.
"She got a name yet?" He asked Carl.
"Not yet…" Carl replied looking up at me. "I was thinking maybe Sophia, then there's Carol too." The room grew quiet and my heart panged, thinking back to Sophia and most recently Carol. Daryl looked at me, frowning. "Andrea, Amy…" Carl continued, rattling off the names of those that had passed.
The baby continued to eat as Carl turned around, downing the bottle Daryl was giving her. I smiled, running a gently finger against her cheek.
"You like that? Huh?" Daryl cooed at her sweetly. "Little ass kicker." I snickered and Daryl smiled up at us. "Right? That's a good name right?" The group laughed lightly at his question. The baby cooed in reply and I sighed, taking a much-needed seat in one of the chairs nearby, laying my head on the table.
Maggie sat next to me, still looking up at Daryl. I looked over at her with tired eyes.
"How are you doin?" She asked quietly.
"Swimmingly." I said dryly, forcing a tight smile. Maggie returned it, placing her hand on my shoulder.
"You did something today I never could have. I know Rick will thank you for it." I remained quiet, my heart dropping when I thought about Rick. How much pain he was in the last time I saw him. I swallowed, realizing how terrified I was to face him again. I had killed his wife today. "Kinda makes you wish things were normal, huh?" Maggie asked.
"What?" She gestured up to Daryl, who was now trying to burp the baby. I grinned, despite myself, looking at the table.
"Takes to babies nicely don't he?" She asked teasingly, insinuating something. I scoffed, tapping her shoulder lightly.
"Stop that." I laughed with her. I looked back up at Daryl, our eyes meeting. He smiled at me, one that I returned. Maggie was right, secretly I wished things were normal, because in all honestly he took to the baby like a fish takes to water.