A/N: I apologize for how long it's been since I updated this story. I've been working insane hours and haven't felt like doing much of anything in the last several months. It's probably not going to get better until June or July, but maybe posting this will motivate me to finish it up. Anyway, happy reading!

A/N: I don't own the wrestlers! I do own Pixie and Betsy. As always, it's meant in fun.

The Mizard Of Odd

Chapter 86: Miz Crashes

The plane was sleek and beautiful. The band had roadies loading their equipment and luggage into the cargo hold, so they were free to show Miz and the others around. "This is where I sit," Teh D told Punk. "And this is where I push Ginger out."

"Mm," Punk said thoughtfully. "And where do you keep the Pepsi?"

"Right here!" she said, showing him a full cooler of Pepsi.

Matt chewed happily on the wad of gum in his mouth, Betsy's cup of blue water squeezed tightly in his arms. "Betsy says that he doesn't like airplanes, because airplanes can make fishes like him 'splode. I don't want him to 'splode."

"He'll be fine," Punk said. "Dad told me so."

"Besides," Christian added, stumbling to a seat so that he could address a large cooler that was topped by a half eaten sandwich, "fish don't explode. They're too cool for that." He attempted to ruffle Matt's hair affectionately, and managed to knock the sandwich over. "Ew, why is your hair so... weird feeling?"

"My lunch!" cried one of the flight crew, his eyes darting to Christian. "What have you done, you monster?"

"Monster?" Christian said to the light above him. "Me? How dare you! You were the one planning on eating poor Matt!"

"I'm Jeff!" Matt shrieked, causing everyone to wince. "And you can't eat me because Miz said so!"

Miz blinked. "I did?"

"Yes!" Matt said. "And Betsy will eat you first, so there!"

"My poor sandwich," the man moaned.

Orton quietly stalked the man with the sandwich, a creepy smile on his face as he muttered something about venom and viper bites. "Do you think you can get them under control?" Jeff asked Miz.

"I don't know," Miz said. "I'm not sure I have enough gum to go around."

"Forget the gum," Jeff muttered. "What we need is some serious tranquilizers." He followed his brother's movements as the older man tried to parachute out of the grounded plane, after placing Betsy's cup precariously in a cup holder. "A lot of them."

"Punk would tell you that was wrong," Miz said.

"I'm not saying it's right; I'm saying it's what we need. Today is going to be a very long day. I'd like to get through it without killing someone or being sued." Just then, Orton bit the man with the sandwich. The crew member howled, throwing his food halfway across the plane, where it smacked Mark in the face.

Miz frowned. "I see your point," he said.

%^%

They hadn't been in the air more than twenty minutes when Miz realized he felt sick. He eyed the juice he'd accepted earlier, when Mark had been a flight attendant. The others were quiet, most of them asleep, aside from Mark, who was making a humming noise. "What are you doing?" Miz asked, trying to distract himself from the nausea.

"I'm an airplane!" Mark said happily. "Brrrrr! Vroom!"

"Oh," Miz muttered, closing his eyes. He hated flying under the best of circumstances, but with the stress level so high, this was nowhere near the best of circumstances.

"Do you have a minute, Miz?" HB asked, sliding into the seat beside the Awesome one.

Miz tried not to think about how far he was from the bathroom. "Yes." He swallowed down as much of the sick feeling as he could and tilted his head slightly, so he could take in the worried visage of Jypize4!'s guitarist. "What's the matter?"

"Teh D is being awfully quiet."

"She's asleep."

"That's what she wants you to think. I think she's secretly plotting another way to kill Ginger."

"Why don't you just fire one of them?"

"We've tried," HB said. "Neither of them will go away. Besides, we have a song that requires two drummers…"

"No song needs two drummers," Miz said. He closed his eyes again. "Not really."

"Well, we can play it with one, but it sounds so much cooler with two." He paused. "Hey, are you okay? You look kind of green."

"I'm not turning into the Hulk, if that's what you think!"

"I… wasn't," HB said. "But now I kind of am."

Miz sighed. "That sounds like something Matt would do. Not me."

"Whatever. Anyway," HB said. "Can you keep an eye on Teh D for a bit? I don't like how quiet things are, and I really need to go talk to the pilot about something."

Miz offered a halfhearted shrug. "Sure."

"Thanks. I owe you one." He felt HB move out of the seat and away. Miz sighed in relief. At least if he had to be sick, he wouldn't accidentally do it on Christian's friend.

"We're crashing!" Mark shrieked. "RRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOWWWWWWWWRRR RRRR!"

Christian screamed and stood, bashing his head on the low ceiling and falling halfway into JJ's lap. "I'm too pretty to die!"

"What the hell, Rey?" JJ asked, leaping sideways into the aisle and bumping Miz, who felt like his whole world tilted on its axis.

"Save me!" Christian cried.

"We're not dying!" Annabelle said, annoyed. "Miz, do you think you could talk to your friends?" She paused. "Miz? Miz!"

He could feel her shaking him, and his stomach gave a lurch. "Don't," he said weakly, batting at her.

"Is he okay?" Jeff asked, coming up the aisle behind Annabelle. "What happened?"

"I don't know," the singer confessed. "One minute he seems fine, and the next…"

But Miz never did hear what Annabelle was saying, because his body chose that moment to slide into a deep, boneless sleep.