A/N: I don't own the wrestlers! I do own Pixie and Betsy. As always, it's meant in fun.
A/N: So it's been over a year, and there's FINALLY a new chapter. Sorry this took so long. I should have the next one up soon. Hope you like it!
The Mizard Of Odd
Chapter 87: Miz Isn't In Kansas Anymore, Toto
"What do we do?" Annabelle asked, panic in her voice.
"Let me," Punk said. He pushed Annabelle aside and crouched beside Miz's seat. "Hmm. This is a hard case, but I know just the right thing to do." He took a sip of his Pepsi, then upended the can over Miz's head.
"Punk!" Jeff said.
Miz spluttered and flailed. "See?" Punk said. "Problem solved. The Holy Pepsi works every time."
"Miz?" Jeff said, pushing Punk aside. "Are you okay?"
Miz blinked. "I'm okay, I think." He sat up. "What happened?"
"You passed out," Annabelle said.
"Are you a good witch or a bad witch?" Miz asked her, shrinking back in his seat. "Because I've got to tell you, I'm not giving up my shoes."
"What the hell is he talking about?" Christian asked. "Who's a witch?"
"No one, Rey," JJ said, guiding his friend back to his seat. "He's disoriented, that's all."
"I didn't know he was oriented," Christian muttered.
"What strange manner of room is this?" Miz asked.
Randy grinned. "It's a flying witch house. You're being kidnapped!"
"Randy!" Jeff said.
"Oh, Toto!" Miz lurched up from the seat and tripped over Jeff, falling into Randy. They collapsed on top of Randy's seat. "Thank God you're safe! I was so worried about you!"
"What?" Randy asked, blinking. "You think I'm a DOG?"
"What is going on here?" HB demanded, as he returned from the front of the plane.
Miz kissed the top of Randy's head, causing the Viper to splutter angrily. HB paused, staring. "Uh," Annabelle said. "Miz appears to have lost his mind."
"What, again?" HB said. "I know a good psychologist…" He paused as Miz rubbed his cheek against Randy's and made a cooing noise. "Better make that a psychiatrist for the Criminally Insane… because that looks like a crime waiting to happen."
"Someone get him off me," Randy pleaded.
"Serves you right for telling him that this was a flying witch house and he's being kidnapped," Jeff said.
"I was just kidding, Miz. Please let me go."
"Silly Toto! You're such a silly talking dog! Although…" Miz frowned. "You know, come to think of it, I don't remember you ever talking before."
"No," Randy said. "I'm not Toto!"
"What? An imposter!" Miz hit Randy. "You witch! You fiend! What did you do with my dog?"
"Are you sure it's not the Pepsi doing it?" Christian said to the back of JJ's head. "He did get splashed with it, after all."
"I'm a Pepsi!" Mark said. "Whee! I'm going to baptize people!"
"No one wants to see that," Jeff said.
"Blasphemy!" Punk screeched, lunging at Mark. "You are not the Holy Pepsi and you are not allowed to baptize people!"
Mark sat down, pouting. "Can I be an airplane again, then?"
"No!" HB shouted. "Miz, please control your people!"
But Miz was too busy beating on Randy, shrieking, "Imposter! Witch!"
"Miz, why are you beating Toto?" Matt asked. "That's bad, to abuse an animal. Betsy says that you shouldn't be in the plane if you can't behave. Also, he says he's going to asplode if you're not nice, and then I'll be sad, so please don't be mean, Miz. Okay?" He held out the cup with the fish. "Betsy says…" Miz's arm hit the cup, knocking it from Matt's grasp. "Betsy!" Matt shrieked, diving after the fish.
Furry paws padded quickly down the aisle as Pixie launched herself from the floor into the air, her mouth open to catch the flying Betta fish. She snapped him out of the air and dropped back, then trotted to the nearest water glass and deposited the frantic fish.
"The cat ate my fish!" Matt wailed.
"Miz," Pixie said, jumping on the back of the man in question and digging in her claws. "Come on! This is no time for crazy behavior. We need you get to control here."
"A flying monkey!" Christian shrieked, pointing at the kitten.
"Toto!" Miz bellowed, grabbing the cat and scooping her up. "There you are! This imposter tried to convince me that you were gone and he was you, but I know better. I'd know my own little dear doggie anywhere."
"Oh brother," the cat muttered. She dug her claws in, drawing beads of blood, but the man ignored them, cuddling the cat and cooing happily at her.
"Who's my cute widdle puppy boy? You are! You are!"
"Well, at least the cat's happy," Randy grumbled. He nudged a sobbing Matt. "What's the matter?"
"She a- ate Betsy!"
Jeff sighed and retrieved the cup with the fish now swimming happily again. "Betsy's fine, see?"
"Betsy!" Matt shrieked, grabbing the cup. "My god! You're alive! It's a miracle!"
"You're welcome," Punk said. Everyone ignored him. "I said you're welcome!" he said more loudly. Still nothing. "Ungrateful bunch," he muttered. "You save them from plane crashes and near deaths, and what thanks do you get? Nothing. Nothing at all. Well, I'm done saving them from themselves. No more holy Pepsi for them."
"We should be so lucky," Christian said.
"And I'm starting with you," Punk said. "I'm not going to heal your eyes anymore. You're always so ungrateful for it."
"You make them worse! Of course I'm not grateful for that."
"They're wonderful now!" Punk yelled.
"I can't take much more of this," HB said. "If we don't land soon, I'm going to jump out without the parachute."
"Stand in line," Annabelle said.
"The pilot just told me we'd be landing in ten minutes," Jack told them. "Maybe we can try to get people seated so they don't die or sue us when we hit the ground?"
"Good idea." Teh D stood on her seat and made a megaphone with her hands. "Hello, and welcome to Teh D airlines! This is your captain speaking and we're about to land, so sit down, shut up, and hang on! Oh, also, fasten your seatbelts, or you might die. Thanks for flying with us!" She sat down and primly buckled her belt while the rest of the passengers scrambled to their seats to buckle up. All except Miz, who was holding a struggling Pixie and cooing.
"Sit down and put on your belt, Miz," the cat said. "Our tornado's going to land."
"It won't matter, so long as we're together, Toto."
"We're not going to be together unless you buckle up," the cat said. "Hurry up."
"You know," Miz sighed as he buckled his belt and tucked Pixie into his arms, "I think I liked you better when you couldn't talk, Toto."