Chapter 18
It was only after I was finally getting better, that once again my nightmares had begun once again. I had a hard time comprehending the dreams in the past, but this one I could. It frightened me so much.
I was standing in the middle on a dark room. On a table before me sat two pictures; one of my birth family, and one of the Torchwood team. I was wondering if I was supposed to choose, but I decided not to comply with this. I placed a hand on each. Suddenly there was a door that opened, and out stepped my mother, father, and sister.
I was happy to see them okay, yet I was nervous that they would try to take me away from Torchwood. I waved at them. "Mom, Dad, Taren! How are you?"
"You are not our daughter anymore," My parents said simultaneously. I was confused. "You left. You are gone. We do not consider you a part anymore."
I was extremely distraught, and was ready to break down. They instantly disappeared, leaving me to feel empty, lonely, and unwanted. My head hurt so badly. The door reopened, and out stepped the team.
I was hoping that they would see my distress, and try to help me. "Jack! My family was here. They…"
He cut me off. "Why would we help you with anything? You are not important. You are not really a part of this team." There were murmurs of agreement from the others.
They too disappeared, and I stood there alone once again. Tears dripped down my cheeks. I felt so worthless and helpless, but most of all, I felt so alone. I was by myself, and no one even wanted to be near me. I started to scream, hoping to attract someone, so as not to be alone.
I woke up screaming.
My door burst open, and Jack stood there, obviously panicked by my sudden outbreak. He tried to walk near me. I didn't want him to.
"Jessica?"
I squirmed back against my bed, covering my ears, as though not to hear him disown me. I couldn't separate what was real from dream. My biggest fear is to be unwanted and alone. It didn't matter anyway, I am alone now.
Seeing my absolute fright and agony, he was contemplating whether to stay back or not. Eventually, he started straight toward me. Knelt right down on my bed, and wrapped me up in his arms. I know where my family is. Right here.
"We'll get you home," he whispered after I had fallen asleep. That was not what I wanted to hear. I wanted to stay.
TWTWTWTWTW
The next morning, I had no recollection of the previous night. All I knew was that Jack stood before me, wearing a backpack. He held his hand out. I gave him a quizzical look, and took it.
"We are going on a trip today. Just you and me."
"Where?" I asked.
"Not far," he said vaguely.
I suspected something was up when people started coming to with us good-bye for the "day". Tosh took me in her arms, whispering "Good luck". Gwen hugged me, and gave me a reassuring smile. And then Owen did, telling me to stay healthy during the day. And then Ianto did, telling me that I looked beautiful today. Landon sat there for a minute. He looked at me, hugged me, and then gently brushed his lips over mine for a split second. I was so surprised, as was he and everyone else in the room. I didn't say anything, only tightened my hug. Something was not right.
We crossed the large plass and walked into a shop. A few steps in, I noticed something that frightened and excited me at the same time. My family was standing a ways in front of us.
"Jack?"
"Shh, it's ok. I cleared everything up with them. I may have lied a bit, but they believe you are alive now. It was a mistake to drag you through this." He said with a glazed look on his face. (They had begun to approach)
"Jessica!" I heard rise from them.
I wanted to run and hug them all, but then I realized something. Things could never be the same. I am still immortal, I still can't die. Oh! And I have a whole group of people who I would die without. I couldn't just leave them. I could never just keep these memories locked away in my mind. I would go to an asylum for insanity! Plus who could explain my not aging? I, of course, do not want to move on from the family of my birth, but I have to. It isn't safe for them.
I held up my hand. "Wait. No, stop." I turned from them to Jack, and grabbed his coat by the lapels. "Jack, no. You can't make me." I was crying now. "I…Just…Please just take me home!"
"Jessica, that is what I am trying to do!" He said.
"No. Take me home. To our home," I begged, burying my face in his coat. I hate the feeling of being torn like this. My poor birth family.
He squatted down to my level, and looked me in the eyes. "Are you sure that is what you want? You're family loves you. They miss you."
"I know, but so does my Torchwood family. I can't."
He took my hand, and took a long look to the group. The captain sighed loudly in thought. "It seems…" He was directing this at the group. "It seems I have made a mistake in the girl who I thought was yours. You see, this is not the same girl who died. This is a strong, gun-ready, life-saving woman. This must be a different Jessica than the young one you described. You see, this young woman has saved my neck too many times to count. She has hunted down the scum of the universe, and even showed it mercy when it deserved hatred. Now I know the resemblance is impeccable, but this can't be the same child. You had described a shy, weak, and lonely girl, but all I see here is a strong, warrior-like person, with more sociability than three-fourths of the world." He took a deep breath. "This is not the girl you seek."
My father, well step father, Garret, looked at him with narrowed eyes. "That is my daughter. Jessica Parker."
"Her name is Jessica, but she is Jessica of Torchwood." With that the captain turned me around and began to march me out. "I will retcon them later," he whispered to me.
My head hurt so badly from the conflict. I wanted to just stop for a second, but we kept going. With a deep breath, I turned to my new life, and kept going.
Upon reaching the hub, Ianto swapped with Jack. They had exchanged a quick look, and Ianto began walking with me. I suddenly stopped, and turned to him.
"Am I a terrible person?" I asked in an almost monotone voice.
"Of course not, Jessica, you're a good person. You have saved so many lives, including my own. You are not in the wrong." He was trying very hard to keep me from feeling bad.
I smiled. "Thank you, Ianto. I just feel terrible about me abandoning my family like that."
"You do realize you are doing this for their benefit, right? It is not you who is the danger, but us; this place, Torchwood, is dangerous. Once you are here, you will never truly escape it."
He was completely right, of course. I was actually saving them by not letting myself back. I worry too much. I need to just focus on what is ahead. After all, there are billions of extraterrestrial forms of life for me to seek out.
We reached my room, where the whole team was gathered. Gwen and Tosh sat on my bed against the wall, Owen was leant against another wall, and Jack sat on a chair next to Caleb. I instantly felt awkward upon my entry, because despite my feeling comfortable around them, the five sets of eyes on me made me drop my gaze to the floor.
Basically, Jack began to tell what had happened. Everyone already knew about their plan to place me back in a normal life with my family. He then started to talk about his and my revelations that I can't survive a normal life. He stated his explanation to them about my being a different person, and also that he would later have to make a visit out to retcon them.
"You are going to have a difficult time explaining this to unit when my family calls the police," I chirped. It was true, after all, who wouldn't call 999 after seeing an eccentric man in an RAF greatcoat run through a shop while holding hands with their child?
Jack moaned, and so did Ianto.
"Why does that upset you?" queried the captain to the tea boy.
"Because, sir, if you are going to be stressed, I am going to be the one who has to keep you well stocked on Scotch and tea. Seems people think that their glasses just automatically refill." The last part was a whisper.
The immortal man nodded in both agreement and apology, before returning to the small team. "Most of all," he started. "I need to apologize to Jess for ever considering sending you back to your old life, let alone acting upon it. You are a part of Torchwood, and you will always be. We do have work to do, though."
I broke into a small laugh, and pushed my hair to the side (my curly bangs are in a slight fringe, so they get in my eyes quite often.) "You're right, we have work to do." Everyone got up, and started to shuffle out, laughing slightly.
Owen stopped me on the way out. "Hey, if we are going to keep this U.N.I.T legal, we are going to have to get your files updated." With my nod, we headed over to one of the many computers and began to enter my data into a new file.
TWTWTWTWTW
We all went out to dinner that night, like actually went out to a restaurant. We sat down and ordered. I tried to avoid the memories of the last time Jack, Ianto, and I tried to have a nice night out, and the being shot at. We all sat there and talked. I smiled as I realized that I was now a part of this strange and really messed up family, and that they had sworn to not get rid of me.
This is my family. I found it, all on my own. It's little, and broken, but still good. Yeah, still good.
Chapter 18 Complete!
Wow, chapter 18 already! It may only survive a few more chapters at most, but I want to thank all of you for your endless support, and for coming with me on this strange journey. The last quote was from Lilo and Stitch (as many of you probably knew) but I had to use it! Please review, because your reviews are so meaningful to me. Good bye for now everyone! ~Lexi~