Growing Pains 6
Blindly, she reached out for an anchor, her bracelet clinking against the side of the cup, as she cast out her hand and then, in response, another hand darted forth lithe as a fish and closed over hers. For a moment, everything in Chisaki stilled–her thoughts, her heart, blood, the tempest in her...
In the lull, Chisaki heard truth.
The door shuddered open, inviting in a cold draft of air and also, Takeshi Egawa, with a girl on his arm.
"Egawa, man, you're late to the party–! Whoa, is that your wife!? Well, haven't you caught a pretty bird? You sit with us over here! No, not you, Egawa! Just your wife!"
Takeshi dispensed his high school classmates a reproachful glare, wrapping his arm protectively around the girl and ushering her straight towards the more peaceful end of the table, where Chisaki sat.
Chisaki glanced up from her plate, taking in the woman with medium length chestnut brown hair, soft hazel eyes, and a honeyed smile. She had seen Takeshi's wife before, when she was introduced to them, but Chisaki did not have the opportunity to talk to her personally until now.
"Hana, love, can you sit with Chisaki? Chisaki, would you keep her company, please? I'm sure you two will get along well."
"Oh, I'm sure we will."
"Thanks, Chisaki! You're an angel." Takeshi smiled gratefully before he went to sit among the merrymakers, who did not lay off the harrassment one bit and even upped the ante. At this point, the celebration had been ongoing for a couple of hours now and the combination of warm food and a seemingly endless supply of alcohol had sufficiently loosened neckties and tongues. The empty bottles of alcohol multiplied as the bawdy jokes multiplied in sheer shamelessness. In the midst of the revelry, Hana and Chisaki were in their corner, having a quiet conversation.
"I swear he's been handling me like a fragile thing ever since he found out about the baby."
"He's just looking out for you." Chisaki's gaze fell on her growing belly. "How many months?"
"Eight," replied Hana. "We're expecting the baby during the first week of next month."
Chisaki's eyes widened. "You're so close to giving birth! And you two still came to Ooshioshi."
"I was the one who insisted on making the trip to his hometown. I didn't want him to miss the chance to reunite with old friends," Hana said. She glanced down at her belly, a serene expression on her face, and confessed, "I...want to have the baby here."
There was something about the sight of it that strummed at Chisaki's heartstrings. Hana was younger than her, a few years her junior, but she married early, was going to be a young mother, and even seemed to embrace motherhood so naturally. Compared to her, Chisaki still struggled to wield her years, could not wield it as well as others did. When she spent time with Manaka or any of her childhood friends, she felt the dissonance in their ages–she, a low bass to Manaka's high, sonorous pitch. And with her high school friends, there were times she felt out of tune with the rest. How, then, should she cope?
"I hope you don't find me rude for asking, but how long have you and Egawa been together? Where did you two meet?"
"Six months." And then, she must have read Chisaki's astonished look, because Hana acknowledged with a smile. "Yes, that short a time. I was a freshman, while he was a sophomore. We happened to be seatmates in a subject he needed to repeat because he didn't get enough credits. Would you believe that I helped him pass the exams, no, the whole subject, even?"
They laughed together at the thought of it.
Despite her astonishment, Chisaki was compelled to hear their story, so she pushed on. "And you dated after you got to know each other after that one class?"
Hana nodded, a modest bob of her head. "I'm the one who asked him out first." She beckoned Chisaki to come closer, aligning mouth to ear and lowering her voice to a timid wisp of air. "It was our first month when I got pregnant."
Chisaki fumbled for the right words to say, all while feeling the heat rush to her cheeks. There were just some things people were embarrassed to hear and for Chisaki, this was one such thing.
"Oh Chisaki-san, I'm sorry. I must have made you uncomfortable." Hana stared up at her with troubled eyes.
Chisaki stared back, considering for a moment, before she wagged her head from side to side, and smiled gently.
"You see, among my group of high school friends, Egawa-kun's the first to get married. For me, the news was so sudden because we are all still students, no matter if we're already in college. In my mind, the idea of dating and marriage are distant things. There's still the ordeal of graduating from college, finding a job, succeeding in your career, and when all that's done, love would just fall into place–a natural order of things. But, I see that life sometimes has different plans for each one of us, for you and Egawa-kun, for my family and friends..."
...for her. And if she would fall in with those plans or not was up to her.
Now, it was Hana's turn to be speechless, but it was less of surprise and more of wonder. In time, she also mirrored the smile on Chisaki's face.
"Am I intruding on your girl bonding?"
"Takeshi," Hana greeted pleasantly. "No, it's okay."
"How are you holding up, Chisaki? My Hana hasn't scared you off with her stories, has she?" Takeshi teased as he sat down next to Hana, a telltale dimple of a grin waiting to emerge on his face.
"Oh, dear. Are you speaking from experience?"
"Would you murder me if I am?"
Hana gasped. "And deprive my child of a father!? Gutless as he may be?"
"Hey, you were just bolder than me!"
In between the couple's mock argument, Chisaki could not help laughing. A moment later, Hana joined in too–a laugh like the crinkling of flower blossoms when the wind combs through the branches they nestle on.
"Oh," murmured Chisaki. It dawned on her: Hana. Flower.
She watched the scene unfold before her–Hana punching Takeshi on the arm, but he, hauling her in for a bear hug. The woman did not put up much resistance and burrowed her head into his chest. After a while, Takeshi planted a kiss on his wife's forehead and then, held her at arm's length. "Just one more hour, okay?"
"Okay."
They exchanged a few more words before Takeshi sprung up to return to his seat among the men.
"You seem so much in love."
Hana smiled. "How about you, Chisaki-san? You said there's a time for love. But have you stopped to think if love might already be knocking on your heart and just waiting for you to open your doors?"
The words struck a chord with her and she found her sea-blue eyes straying across the room, towards the far side, seeking a dark, mussy–no, his hair wouldn't be mussed up right now, she had to remind herself–head, thin straight lips, and a pair of violet eyes, only to realize those eyes were gazing back at her. For a moment, Chisaki was caught between looking away and towards, but those straight lips were suddenly not straight anymore, but curved into a bow–a smile.
And on her lips, she, too, found a twin smile.
Tsumugu lowered Shun bodily onto the tatami of the Sayamas. After the third or so broken beer bottle left crumbles of glass littered all over and beer spilled on fhe thrice-soaked padded floor, they unanimously agreed to put a halt to the festivities. The three times instigator of the fiasco, Shun Sayama snored obliviously, sprawled like an upturned turtle on the floor. Surely, it was uncomfortable lying one's back on a cushion, but thoroughly drunk people hardly cared about the state they were in.
"Man, he's wasted." Takeshi nudged Shun with a foot, but only solicited a grumble.
"Ugh. He reeks! Just how many bottles did he drink?"
"Somebody needs to take him home."
For a decisive second, all eyes flickered towards Tsumugu, an identical current of thoughts running in each head.
"We'll take him home since Saya Mart's on the way," volunteered Tsumugu without reluctance.
"I knew we could count on you, man. Thanks, Tsumugu!"
That was how, half an hour later, Tsumugu and Chisaki found themselves ensconced inside the Sayamas' living space.
Mrs. Sayama peered down at her son and shook her head regrettably. "Oh my, I told Shun not to drink too much. The men in our family can't hold their liquor."
"Just like his father when he reached the legal age. Dumped on our doorstep during the late hour, lost in oblivion."
"Mother," said Mrs. Sayama to the frost-haired, elderly woman, who just entered the room.
Granny Sayama frowned at the supine figure. They did not expect her to yank Shun off the floor with unimaginable ease of strength and honk into his ear, "Boy! Wake up!"
"Hrgh, one more...please..." Shun mumbled incoherently.
Tsumugu did not know whether to be amused or concerned at this blunt way of handling the half senseless Shun.
"Will he be alright?" Chisaki whispered worriedly.
As if on cue, Mrs. Sayama turned to them. "Kihara-kun, Hiradaira-chan, thank you for bringing him home. We'll take it from here."
The two had no choice but to surrender Shun to the ministrations of the Sayama women and make their exit from Saya Mart, pushing into the winter night, as the echoes of a loud slap, slap followed in their wake.
They walked in comfortable silence along the sea wall, guided by the pale moonlight. Tsumugu had taken the same route going home with Chisaki countless times before, yet there was something different about now. Was it the clothes they were wearing? The roundness of the moon? The gushing tide? No, it was something else.
Chisaki's wooden slippers were creating a rhythm–clack, clack, clack–until Tsumugu was suddenly aware that they had clanked to a stop.
Chisaki gazed far away, beyond the dark, yet shimmering body of water, beyond the point where sea met sky, gazing, in her mind's eye, at an unseen turn of thought.
Tsumugu asked gently, "Do you want to visit your parents?"
Chisaki's eyes did not leave the sea. She was silent and all he could capture was the waves rushing and going like the count of a heartbeat. Tsumugu waited for her to stir back to life.
Finally, Chisaki exhaled a puff of breath. "No, not today. I don't want to ruin your grandma's kimono."
Not too long ago, Tsumugu asked Chisaki to show him Shioshishio, her Shioshishio. For a precarious moment, there was a cloud of hesitation in her aquamarine eyes, a quiver to her lips. But her voice managed to escape from its hollow cavity. "Yes."
Tsumugu weaved their hands together and they stepped deeper into Shioshishio. When they reached a crossroad, Tsumugu flicked a glance at Chisaki. She pointed uphill. By the next fork in the road, Chisaki's feet were already moving before Tsumugu could think to pause, now leading the way for them, instead of the one being lead. She tugged on Tsumugu's hand, taking him through streets narrow and wide, picking out fragments–"This is the bakeshop where they sell Manaka's and my favorite pastries. That road leads to the Sea God's shrine. If you follow those signs, you can get to the old elementary school. There's a playground outside the school where we loved to play. Those steps take you to the terraces. On those grounds stands a very grand and old willow tree that already existed before my parents' time."–as if Chisaki had opened a passage into a Shioshishio from its former life, dappled with sunshine during the day, speckled with blue light during the night.
"Hikari's and Kaname's houses are over that way, while Manaka's house is in the opposite direction. When we attended school in the sea village, we would wait for Manaka at our usual meeting spot. She almost never arrives earlier than us, so Hikari bullies her for it."
"Our neighbor keeps a flower garden. She asked me to take care of her rhododendrons if I ever woke up earlier..."
Chisaki slowed to a stop in front of a modest-looking, two-storey house no more different than the one before or after it. She eyed the house with a melancholic air and wordlessly crossed the front yard.
Tsumugu stayed back at the gate. He brushed off the thick dusting of saltflake snow on the nameplate, uncovering the letters 'Hiradaira'. His glance returned to Chisaki, who stood at the doorstep, smiling somewhat sadly. Chisaki turned the doorknob, shaking off the snow that encrusted the door as it swung open.
Tsumugu followed into the house. The windows and doors were shut and prevented the snow from drifting in. Inside, every bit of detail had the appearance of normalcy. He heard the patter of Chisaki's feet, as she flitted from room to room. Was she in Tsumugu's time or was she back in her own time five years ago, when she was still but a middle-school student coming home from school?
"Mom, dad–!" tumbled from Chisaki's lips.
She halted at the door to what he presumed was the kitchen.
"Chisaki?" he called out.
He went to her and saw what she saw–a man and a woman unmoving slumped at the table. Oh, Tsumugu did hear Hikari and the others' account about Shioshishio, but it was not the same, after all, witnessing it in person. If he did not know, he would have thought the sleeping residents were statues carved so realistically. They did not breathe, even.
Chisaki appeared to be almost the same unbreathing statue until Tsumugu heard her tremulous voice. "They said they would wait for me and they did..."
"...but I never came home," she finished and then, Chisaki was rooted in place, unable to go no further than the kitchen's threshold.
Tsumugu spoke, "We should move them to bed."
Chisaki's head snapped in Tsumugu's direction, meeting his violet hues. The seconds crawled until she finally nodded.
With Tsumugu's help, they were able to carry her parents to their room on the second floor. Lying in bed, they now seemed to be sleeping peacefully. Chisaki, too, seemed to be a bit more at peace. Tsumugu knew Chisaki could at last find her way back between her two homes, this and the one on the surface.
Now, Chisaki was physically present on the surface, but her mind was journeying in that other place, slumbering Shioshishio, and Tsumugu could guess at the anxieties she was chasing inside of her. She had outgrown Hikari, Manaka, and Kaname five years. Five years were already years too many for Chisaki. What if she outgrew her parents longer? Would they wake up in this lifetime? Frankly, they would not know the exact answer.
Yet, on that night, the two of them bathing in moonlight, Tsumugu whispered a little hope into Chisaki's heart. "They will wake up, Uroko-sama told us so. We might not know when, but the season's starting to change. So we have to believe that, when the leaves turn green and the grass sways, time will move again."
Tsumugu let his words settle in a comfortable nook within her and they continued their way home, Chisaki's wooden sandals going clack, clack once again in the night.
Chisaki padded down the stairs in her pink pajamas and blazer. Tsumugu looked up when she entered the living room. He, too, was bereft of his formal clothes and wore only his usual blue-green sweater and pants like nothing had changed. Tsumugu's ashen hair was back to its untamed state, strands falling all over his eyes. Nevertheless, this Tsumugu looked much more familiar and homelier to her.
"Grandpa?" Tsumugu asked.
"Fast asleep."
Chisaki joined him at the low-legged table, tucking her legs beneath her. A fragrant steam wafted from the stem of the tea pot next to Tsumugu's elbow. Tsumugu poured a cup, the scent–a sweet, soothing aroma–drifting to Chisaki's nose that she could not help commenting, "Mm, it smells nice."
"It's green tea with plum wine."
Chisaki raised a brow at Tsumugu. "Green tea and plum wine?" she repeated and then, asked dubiously, "Not...plum juice?"
Tsumugu shook his head, a smile marking the corner of his mouth. "Try it." He prodded the tea cup towards her.
Chisaki folded her hands around the cup and lifted it closer to her face. She stared down at the cup, as if trying to find her reflection or something not quite there. After several heartbeats, she closed her eyes, sucked in her breath, and touched her lips to the cup. Hot liquid went down her throat. At first, it tasted tart, but a second sip told her it was tart and sweet at the same time. The taste did not linger long, neutralized by the grassy taste of green tea. She decided she liked the taste after a few more sips.
"It tastes nice too," Chisaki murmured, putting down the cup on the table.
Tsumugu said quietly, "So, you found out."
Chisaki smiled, tracing the rim of the cup as if she was tracing a half moon. "I found the empty bottle of plum juice when I was cleaning the kitchen the other day."
"I should have cleared it out months ago before I left for university."
"Well, that's one time I'm grateful for your carelessness. You must have been laughing inside seeing me getting drunk on, on plum juice!" Chisaki groaned, hiding her embarrassed face in her palms, muffling her last few words. Chisaki heard a choking sound and parted her fingers to peek at Tsumugu chuckling in amusement.
"I knew it!" moaned Chisaki. She sobbed into the table, until sob eventually turned into gasps of breath and then, gasps of laughter. They laughed a good deal, or rather Chisaki laughed while Tsumugu mostly listened, at other recollections from their younger years–the years they had spent together and those they had not. Soon, the tea pot and Chisaki's heart weighed much lighter than when Tsumugu poured the first cup.
"I have something here," Chisaki said and reached into the pocket of her blazer, producing a small, dark blue rectangular box ribboned by a red lace.
"What is it?"
"Just open it."
Tsumugu tugged on the ribbon and popped open the box. He plucked off the sole content of the box, a pen. He rolled it between his fingers and read the engraving: his name, Kihara Tsumugu.
"I know it's not the most unique of gifts, but I wanted you to have something to write with when you someday become Dr. Kihara. So, congratulations, Tsumugu!"
Tsumugu turned the pen over in his hand, until he replaced the pen in its box. "Thank you, Chisaki. I will treasure it."
Tsumugu got up to his feet and squat down next to Chisaki. "Open your hand," he told Chisaki, his hand disappearing in his pants pocket and reappearing, his hand closed in a fist. He hovered his fist over Chisaki's upturned palm and dropped a velvet pouch on it. "For you. Congratulations."
Chisaki, curious, pulled the drawstring loose, emptying the contents onto her palm. It was a silver bracelet. Chisaki dangled it in the air to inspect more carefully. The bracelet was comprised of translucent sea-blue stones of irregular shapes.
Chisaki murmured, "Beautiful."
"Mermaid's tear."
"Hmm?" Chisaki's own sea-blue eyes were fixated on the stones, mesmerized still.
"That's what they call sea glass."
"Is this why you were being so secretive? You were out every day since you came back to town for the Coming of Age ceremony."
"I was looking for sea glass of that particular color. They are pretty hard to find, I realized."
"And the all-nighters you were pulling? You were actually working on this?"
Tsumugu averted his eyes in a rare show of embarrassment. In their six years together, he never gave her a gift like this and for him to give her such a personal gift meant a lot.
"Thank you, Tsumugu," she said fondly, fingering the smoothened stones. She unlatched the clasp and offered up the bracelet to Tsumugu. "Will you put it on me?"
Tsumugu stared thoughtfully for a moment before taking the bracelet from her. Chisaki laid out her left wrist. Tsumugu was careful not to graze her skin as he put the bracelet on her.
"It matches your eyes," Tsumugu complimented and as if to reinforce it, he gazed straight into her sea-blue orbs. Chisaki was suddenly aware, her senses heightened, of how much those intense violet eyes have watched her.
Chisaki smiled from the bottom of her heart. She inhaled a deep breath, exhaled, inhaled deeply again, and then, exhaled a trembling breath. She felt a foreign, wet sensation on her cheek and touched her fingers to the tears that had now trickled from the corners of her eyes. "Eh? Why am I crying?" she asked herself in disbelief. Soon, she could not control the rivulet of tears streaking down her cheeks nor the erratic contractions of her heart. This was supposed to be a day of celebration, a day when they would shed off adolescence, don their adult suits, and be responsible members of society, yet why was she having such sad and sorrowful tears?
Tsumugu extended a hand and then, retracted it. He allowed Chisaki to cry on her own. But after a while, he asked, seeking permission, "May I?"
Chisaki did not answer nor did she refuse.
Tsumugu ventured closer, until he was close enough to wipe away her crystalline tears with the back of his hand. He placed a kiss on her forehead and cupping her cheeks in his warm hands, stared into her eyes. "It'll be okay," he assured soothingly before holding her close to him. They remained that way while Tsumugu rhythmically stroke her hair, until her sobs gave way to soft whimpers. Soon, Chisaki felt the tempest in her grow calmer. She gently pulled away from Tsumugu and dried the last of her tears on the sleeve of her blazer, unladylike as it was.
In the dim light, her eyelids fluttered down, painting shadows on her cheeks. "Oh, Tsumugu. I'm scared of the future. I never worried about it because I always thought I would have Manaka, Hikari, and Kaname with me. But now, I'll have to face it without them."
Chisaki was talking and not talking to Tsumugu all at once, lost in the billowing tide of some sea, the harbor nowhere near in sight. Blindly, she reached out for an anchor, her bracelet clinking against the side of the cup, as she cast out her hand and then, in response, another hand darted forth lithe as a fish and closed over hers. Warmth radiated from that hand. For a moment, everything in Chisaki stilled–her thoughts, her heart, blood, the tempest in her...
In the lull, Chisaki heard truth.
"You will still have them with you. They may be a few years behind but, in the end, it doesn't matter, because past, present, or future, your friends will be there for you, just as you'll be there for them. And," Tsumugu paused. "I'll be there for you, too. Today and always, if you'll have me."
As if the strength of those words were too much to bear, Tsumugu's warm fingertips were fleeing from her, brushing past her knuckle. How could he rob her so soon of such warmth? She chased that heat and caught his hand, pleading to stay. Tsumugu stayed.
Chisaki–she vaguely wondered if it was the plum wine's doing–drew his hand towards her body and pressed a kiss tender but lingering to his knuckle. Then, she rose higher on her knees, leaned into Tsumugu, and emboldened–this time, she was fairly sure it was the plum wine's doing–slanted her lips over his own and whispered into the shell of his ear, "Yes."
She was about to withdraw, when she found a pair of arms enveloping her. She was immovable at first, cheek pressed to his chest, but soon, found herself returning the embrace. "Thank you." Pressed so close to him, Chisaki felt Tsumugu's words vibrating in his chest.
Chisaki could not see his face, but she imagined him smiling. She closed her eyes, lips curling in contentment.
End
Well, Growing Pains is completed! The Coming of Age ceremony was something that interested me when Shun Sayama mentioned about it in one of the episodes. I imagined the finale would show us that, because it would fall right in with NagiAsu's coming of age theme, but alas. So, I felt a strong urge to write some kind of alternate story that showed Chisaki's coming to terms with adulthood.
I have one more TsumuguxChisaki I want to write, My Red-bellied Sea Slug. It will take me a while again, but hopefully I do get to write it. You could say it's a sequel to Her Red-bellied Sea Slug. :)
And that wraps it up! Please do leave feedback! They feed the writer's soul immensely, hehe.