Zuko
Chapter 5.1: Morning
When we were young, Yanmei and I were almost always together. Almost.
We had two lives, one spent together and one apart. I guess it was in her separated life that she met him, and suddenly I had to compete for her attention whenever he was in town. And he always, always made sure to visit her and give her gifts from all over the world. I hated him, but Yanmei adored him so much, I could never tell her. It was always "Today, Zhao" this and "Yesterday, Zhao said" that. I hated having to hear so much about him and how great he was, and I started to hate Yanmei's separated life, too. And I think that only pushed her farther and farther away whenever he was at the capitol.
Somehow, I was thinking of this and him when I woke up one morning.
Yanmei was already up, which was unusual. She stood by the desk on the far end of the room. "Yani," I mumbled, still half asleep. How early was it anyway?
She turned and smiled at me. "Good morning, my prince!" She pranced over to the bed and sat down by my side. I scooted over to give her some room but didn't bother sitting up while she pouted. "I said, good morning…"
"You're annoying too early," I said, but I smiled in spite of myself. "Good morning."
"Good morning," she repeated. She wasn't dressed yet, just awake, so she lied down next to me and shut her eyes. I turned my head and watched her.
"What, now that I'm awake, you're going back to sleep?" She nodded and smiled. "You're dumb," I sighed, laughing a bit. Laughter seemed to only ever occur in her presence. "Come here, at least," I commanded and grabbed her arm, tugging a bit. She rolled over to me and laid her head down on my chest. As I breathed she seemed to float, up and down, while listening to my heartbeat. This had become something we had done for a week or two, since our visit to Sanming. I wasn't sure why, but I didn't mind, either. I almost preferred things this way.
I watched her again and noticed the butterfly broach on the ribbon around her neck. Her bodyguard had given it to me as we left Sanming. He had told me to use it to make her happy. I sighed. "Yani, are you happy?"
"Hmm?" she breathed and a small smile appeared on her face. "I suppose I am. Why?"
I knew she wasn't lying to me, but I also knew there was no way she could be with me like this and happy for long. Things like that just don't last.
I pushed her off of me gently and sat up; she looked a bit surprised. "I need to go now," I said. "I'm… hungry." She shrugged and lied back down. I tried to smile reassuringly—for her sake or mine?—but she didn't care, really. I could just tell. She smiled back weakly before rolling over and facing the wall.
I grabbed a heavy piece of red fabric that was hanging limply over the back of a chair by the desk, sure it is Yanimei's cloak from last night, and quickly put it on before leaving the room and heading down the main corridor. As I reached the main deck, I passed that one soldier again, Yanmei's bodyguard. He shot me a questioning glance and I pointed back toward my room with a shrug. Past him, out at the front of the boat I saw Uncle as he watched the horizon calmly. When he heard me approaching he turned and smiled.
"The south pole," he said, turning to face the ice and vast nothingness before us again. The boat was stopped here in the middle of the ocean, the middle of the south pole. "There are no water benders left in the Southern Water Tribe, supposedly," Uncle said, and there seemed to be something there—something sad. "I don't know what you expect to find here, Zuko," he smiled at me again.
"I expect to find the Avatar," I answered, although even I was unsure of why I had chosen the South Pole. "I just have this feeling."
Uncle nodded slowly. "Believe your gut and what it tells you. For example, mine tells me it's time for breakfast," he chuckled and walked back to the main cabin. I looked out at the edge of the world and wondered what was in store for us down here. We would most likely spend our days combing the frigid waters slowly, never leaving the same general spot. It was the perfect location, really, with our boat hidden just so behind an iceberg that we could see the Southern Water Tribe but surely they couldn't see us. I nodded to myself. Yes, this would do. We could stay here for a day or two at least, and then leave this barren wasteland soon, after we didn't find the avatar here, either. Uncle once told me that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result, and I couldn't help but wonder if that's what I was doing, searching for the same thing in different locations over and over again and always coming up short. Maybe I was insane.
I shook the thought away and followed Uncle into the cabin for breakfast.