CHAPTER 6 : A SMILE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS
Easter passed quietly, it was now thirteen weeks since Arthur's accident and although he was making some progress it was painstakingly slow. He was able to move his head, his arms and clench his empty hands. He seemed to do these movements haphazardly except for the hand squeezing which he only ever did to Merlin. He had never reopened his eyes but did flutter his eyelids as if it were about to happen. His physio was progressing well and his limbs could easily be manipulated showing that the muscles and the nerves were relaxed.
Gawaine and Merlin both visited and there was a flower arrangement from Uther Pendragon in Arthur's room as well as one at the nurses' station to thank for the care given to his son.
When Leon joined them, they had opened the Easter presents they had got for Arthur and started to eat them, making sure to tell Arthur how great they tasted. Hunith knew what they were planning and had sent over some little sponge cakes decorated with Easter motifs for the boys and the nurses. Arthur had fluttered his eyelids, clenched both of his hands and even moved his head and his arms. The men were pleased as although progress was slow, they could see the improvements that their friend had made since early January.
Later, Merlin lay in bed thinking. He'd taken Arthur a special little gift for Easter. Years ago, his mother had found a plush bird which resembled a falcon. He had received it as part of a birthday present. He liked it but felt that he was now too old for toys, so had kept it always on the bookcase and for some reason it had made the trip from Wales to London.
He'd seen patients in other rooms with teddy bears and the like so he decided to take it to Arthur. He'd helped Arthur use a stress ball and decided to substitute the little toy as a change. Carefully wrapping Arthur's hand around it he had helped him squeeze it.
"Arthur, it's a little stuffed falcon just the right size for your hand."
Gawaine said, "The two of you are nuts. But he certainly is hanging onto it and using his hand muscles. Arthur, it's Merlin's toy from when he was a baby so don't lose it as he'll want it back when you are all better."
"No, I won't! It's a gift and, Arthur, it's yours to keep or get rid of..."
The others left and Merlin remained a little while longer. He had explained to Arthur that he would be a little late the next day as after work he had a departmental meeting which was compulsory. "I'll come afterwards." He took Arthur's hand and wrapped his fingers around the little falcon. "Keep it safe for me until I come back." He'd gently put his hand on Arthur's cheek, before saying, "Goodnight, Love, sleep tight!"
The hospital had been told that Mr. Uther Pendragon would be in to visit his son Arthur the following day. One of the carers mentioned it to Merlin, so on his way out, he notified the staff nurse that he would not be in until later tomorrow evening. He had no intention of running into Arthur's father for whom he was personna non grata.
Bridie left Arthur that evening clutching the falcon, closing and opening his hand. He was murmuring but if it were a word it was indiscernible.
-0-0-
Uther's visit was worth mentioning for its negativity. He saw the specialist on duty, walked into his son's room and stood at the end of the bed. He said nothing to his son. Arthur could have been playing possum. He just lay there clutching the falcon but without moving, he had been very active earlier in the day working with his physio team and murmuring continually.
Uther spied the plush toy and wrenched it out of his son's hand saying, "For heaven's sake, whose stupid idea was this? He's a man not a child!" with that he tossed it into the corner. Arthur's arms flailed trying to find it and his mouth opened and closed repeatedly.
The doctor tried to explain that the clasping and releasing action was good for muscle coordination but Uther would have none of it. "Give him a book if he needs to hold something!" He said nastily and stormed out of the room with the doctor at his heels.
The doctor knew that it wasn't worth arguing but he knew that once Uther was out of the room, he would see that the little falcon was returned to Arthur. He left Uther at the lift and motioned for the nurse called Sheila to follow him. He told her about the falcon fiasco and leant over to try to settle Arthur while she picked up the toy.
Arthur was now very agitated, throwing his head from side with his eyes opened but unfocused. He was whimpering. He stopped when his hands were held by the doctor, who spoke softly to him. He quietened but still kept murmuring the same sound, which for the doctor was unrecognisable.
Sheila walked over with the falcon and leant over Arthur saying, "Here you go..." and put his hands around the toy. Arthur's eyes suddenly seemed focused on her as he repeated the sound, a double syllable with the inflection of a question.
Suddenly, it made sense and Sheila said surprised, "Yes, Arthur, Merlin gave it to you!"
The doctor looked at her and he too recognised that it wasn't an unintelligent murmuring, Arthur was trying to say, "Murmon!" repeating it over and over as he clenched the bird in his hand. The specialist reached over to the clipboard at the end of Arthur's bed and in the space allotted to Observations, entered the time and wrote, ' first word a garbled…Merlin'. He signed it and returned the board to the clip on the end of the bed.
He turned and strode out of the room smiling, all memories of Uther momentarily erased.
-0-0-
It was pouring rain that evening when Merlin and Gawaine finished supper. "I'm sure that he has come and gone by now. Let's get to the hospital!"
Merlin checked at the nurses' station and was surprised to see everyone beaming. He wondered if Uther had given all of them a bonus for their excellent care of his son but reasoned that was unlikely. They assured him that Arthur was fine and waiting for him.
Bridie motioned for Gawaine, he stepped aside and let Merlin walk on to Arthur's room. She said, "There was an improvement in Arthur's state, a doctor was present when he focused on Sheila and gave a rendition of Merlin's name." Her eyes were bright with tears as she suggested, "Give them a few moments alone!"
-0-0-
Merlin walked slowly into Arthur's room. He was lying quietly, holding the little falcon in his hands and stroking it ever so often. It did Merlin good to see him so relaxed as he'd recently had the tendency to be agitated. He whispered not wanting to waken him if he were asleep, "It's me, Merlin... Good Evening, Handsome!"
Walking across the room, Merlin pulled up a chair and taking Arthur's hand, sat down. He rubbed his thumb across his knuckles and smiled as he heard Arthur take a breath.
He had a feeling that he was being watched and looked up to see Arthur staring at him, not looking in his direction or through him but focusing on him eye to eye. He grinned back and Arthur hesitantly whispered, "Murwin?"
Merlin's heart leapt and he bent forward and with tears on his cheeks said, "Yes, Arthur, I'm Merlin." He then couldn't help it but started sobbing , dropping his head on the bed near Arthur's chest.
Arthur clutching the falcon in his other hand, found Merlin's head and he started to pat it.
Gawaine found them like that five minutes later. For a split second, he feared the worst...Arthur must have died as he had never over the last three months seen Merlin breaking down in front of him. He had always remained so positive and happy for Arthur's benefit.
He cleared his throat and Merlin raised his head. Arthur took his eyes off Merlin and glanced at the man who had walked in. His face relaxed and he said, "G'way...?"
In no time flat, Gawaine was on his knees by the bed, "Arthur, finally...!" He hugged his friend beaming at Merlin as he said, "Arthur, this is Merlin whom I told you about. He's beautiful isn't he?"
Merlin blushed and shook his head as Arthur turned to him and said, "Mer...win...Merwin."
Merlin took Arthur's hand and automatically raised it to his lips but he did not kiss it as he would usually have done. "That is the most beautiful sound I have ever heard, Arthur," he said smiling broadly.
Arthur tried to give him a smile in return, his first since his accident. It wasn't a full smile but certainly recognisable as one.
Merlin squeezed his hand, "I have waited so long to see you look at me and hear you say my name..." he tried to keep smiling but he knew that his presence was no longer needed. Arthur would now be given intensive therapy. In no time, he would be talking in full sentences about his past with his friends and with a lot of effort on his part he'd be up on his feet by midsummer.
Merlin looked down at the hand he was holding. It felt as if it were part of him. He'd miss having a hand to hold and a confidant with whom to share his pathetic life. He just wanted to sit silently enjoying the feel of Arthur's hand in his and smiling at him every now and again.
There was a tap on the door and Graham walked in, "Sorry, I didn't realise you had visitors, Arthur." He stopped as he realised Arthur was looking at him.
"Arthur," Merlin said quietly, "This is Graham, he is one of your nurses. He is a reliable and good man."
Arthur repeated, "...is gud mon..."
Merlin looked at him with pride. True, he was only repeating what was said but it showed he understood what was going on and he wanted to join the conversation. Merlin smiled at him...gosh, he really loved the man. Then the cold fear hit his heart as he realised that he'd probably already lost him.
-0-0-
Arthur's voice was coarse and without much strength but to Merlin and Gawaine, it was wonderful.
He frequently tried to swallow so Graham nodded towards the water pitcher by the bed, Merlin poured a half glass of water and dipping his finger in it, wet Arthur's lips. Arthur tried to get his hand on the glass and Merlin smiled as he said, "So you think you can drink by yourself?" He looked around to see if there was maybe the equivalent of a child's sippy cup he might let Arthur use. He suddenly remembered a reference in something he had read about a patient's ability to use a straw as a positive sign of recuperating.
He turned to Graham who searched in his trolley and came up triumphantly with two hospital straws. Merlin nodded and Graham handed it to him saying quietly to Merlin, "Don't get your hopes up as it mightn't work. He might have forgotten how to suck." He turned to leave the room saying, "I'll get a Flo-Trol cup for now."
Merlin turned to Arthur showing him the straw. "Do you want to give it a try?" Arthur nodded so Merlin placed the straw into the glass and held it to his mouth. It took a little while for Merlin to explain to Arthur that for the time being he had better not try to hold the glass. Graham didn't need a wet patient to deal with when he returned.
Arthur did admirably well, the look on his face when he swallowed was priceless. Both Gawaine and Merlin were impressed. It might to anyone else have seemed trivial but the two men realised what a step in the right direction Arthur had made. He pulled his mouth off the straw, swallowed and said, "Than yu."
Graham returned with the cup but he could see that Arthur had already used the straw. He smiled, he would add that to the Observed List before he left Arthur for the night.
-0-0-
Dr Williams walked in smiling as he said, "Arthur has had a busy day, I think he needs to get ready for sleep." He smiled again as he saw Arthur looking at him, shaking his head. "Come on, Gentlemen!" He continued, "Let Graham get his work done. Arthur will be here tomorrow to receive visitors, he's not leaving us that soon but he does need to rest all of this is very tiring for him."
Arthur managed to say, "No…!"
Dr. Williams laughed, "I'm the doctor and I say it is time for your beauty sleep. Now be good and say goodnight to your friends and let Graham get his job done." He smiled at them and left the room.
Gawaine laughed saying, "Good night, Old Chap, see you tomorrow." He stood and waited for Merlin but then decided to leave him for a few minutes with Arthur.
Graham turned to get his supplies and Merlin felt Arthur's hand squeeze his. He looked at him and smiled, he had the most beautiful coloured eyes and alert, his face had many features which he had not previously noticed. "I have to go now, Arthur. Sleep tight, my..."
"Luv...!" Arthur said distinctly.
Merlin smiled, "...yes, my Love. Good night!" He ran his fingers down the side of Arthur's face and left as Graham started preparing Arthur for the night ahead.
Gawaine was waiting for him in the corridor; he was buzzing. He looked at Merlin whom he thought was looking down so put his arm around his shoulders saying, "Busy day eh?" Let's drop by to feed that cat of yours and you can stay over at my place tonight. I don't think either of us is going to get much sleep, do you?"
Merlin said, "Never a truer word spoken, Gawaine."
-0-0-
Gawaine was right, it was nearly two o'clock and neither of them felt sleepy. Merlin had asked for paper and he had listed the dates and weeks since the accident during which Arthur had made dramatic changes in his condition. From December 31 to April 4 had been a long time. One day he had walked in early to see Arthur placed in a chair while his bedding was changed but it was always accomplished with the lift and sling mechanism over his bed and he was never left unattended in case he keeled over and was unable to right himself and breath. Then, he certainly could move his arms and legs, he could focus by sight and he could follow the sound with his head if someone talked to him.
However, it was today that had seemed the breakthrough, Gawaine mentioned that Bridie had told him that they had noticed some improvement since his father had visited. Neither knew that in wrenching the falcon away from his son that Uther had activated a definite response.
Merlin curled his feet under him on the sofa. Gawaine glanced at him saying, "Why the long face, you should be ecstatic, he said your name and he knows you!"
"He said your name and he knew you too," said Merlin.
"He's known my name since First Form, it wasn't particularly clever of him to remember me but you, he only knew you by your voice and presence since he has been in a coma. You really must have made an impression on him. What did you promise him? Eh…Merlin?" He said chucking Merlin in the ribs.
Merlin could feel the blush creeping up his neck until his face felt on fire. "I never did or said anything questionable or uncalled for. I might have kissed him on the brow as I left but it was mostly just talking or sitting as I worked on his hands."
"Hey, I'm not accusing you of anything! I'm thrilled that he was able to say your name to acknowledge that you have been with him for so long. Wait until Uther hears that yours was the first word he said. He'll be pissed…and mine was the second. Way to go, Arthur, knowing how to make friends and influence people!"
Merlin had to laugh but then reality crept in and he said quietly, "Do you think he will be the same tomorrow or will he have slipped back into his coma?"
"I don't think that is the way it works. Once he out…he's out." Gawaine suddenly gave Merlin a huge grin with a nod and a wink, "In more ways than one, I'd say!"
Merlin's brow furrowed as if he was missing something but suddenly he yawned and Gawaine looked at his watch. "Good thing it's a holiday tomorrow as we'd be in no condition to work. There are fresh linens in the guest bathroom and you can sleep in as long as you want."
Merlin got up and making his way out of the room, he stopped, turned and said, "Gawaine, I don't think that I ever thanked you for introducing me to your friend Arthur, I appreciate it, I really do."
"No problem at all, Merlin, it was a pleasure," said Gawaine as he picked up their glasses and tea cups and walked them into the kitchen. 'No problem, at all,' he said to himself, 'As it looks to me as if you might have saved one of my best friends.'
Merlin checked his watch, it had already gone three-thirty, the traffic was light in the crescent where Gawaine lived but he could hear the humming sound of traffic from across the city. It was true that a city never sleeps at night. He hoped that he could and surprisingly as soon as he put his head down on his pillow, he saw Arthur smiling at him and he fell asleep.