Year 1

Chapter 3: It Makes the Insane Ones Feel Better

Original Chapter 3 by Rune, updates by Steve2

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or anything related to it.

{-3-}

The Sorting was just plain weird. What with the animatronic hat they put on his head and the microphone they'd hidden in there to pick up his comments.

"You'd do well in Slytherin," the Hat said, "But you'd also do well in Gryffindor. Hmm…how about, I let you choose?"

"Seriously? Dude… Slytherin! I want to be known as sane!"

"Very well. Have fun, Mr. Potter, in SLYTHERIN!" Harry took the Hat off his head as Dumbledore choked on another one of his lemon drops. Snape raised his hand and McGonagall, Sprout, and Flitwick all grumbled as they put ten galleons each in his hand.

Harry headed to the table, sat near a few stunned students and looked around for the food. When were the waiters going to come in… he wondered. Oh well, he opened a book he'd gotten as a farewell gift from Aunt Petunia – the Fall TV Lineup for 1991, giving a rundown on all the shows on the telly.

Harry never noticed the food arriving, but helped himself anyway.

{-3-}

Later, when it came time for the Hogwarts School Song, Harry could see the insane ones singing along with whatever came to mind (like he suspected they would), and the Slytherin table remaining fairly quiet (like he suspected they would).

When the singing had started, Harry knew he had to do something about it. So he pulled out his Walkman, slipped on his headphones and turned on the cassette recordings of AC/DC, something he knew of that was real music. Only… drat the luck! His batteries had died. And he had just changed them before getting on that wacky train ride. He'd have to send a letter home for new batteries or find the school store wherever it is to see if they carry batteries in this loony bin. He wasn't sure that was going to happen.

Harry nodded knowingly as some older red-headed twins finished singing a funeral march. Figures. He knew they were crazy indeed, especially after some at his table commented on it, reinforcing his knowledge that he got to the right area in school.

{-3-}

After the feast, in the Slytherin common room, there was much strutting about by quite a few members of the house. Harry ignored them, meaning he ignored almost everyone.

Shortly after Snape left (after saying something about House Loyalty and all that rot – Harry really wasn't paying attention), Draco got up into Harry's face.

"Potter…" he started and before he could continue, Harry interrupted him.

"Are you…stressed, or is that just your natural hair color? I mean, white? Really? My aunt cries out every time she finds a white hair on her head. Do you do the same? Hmmm, maybe not since you would be crying a lot I guess."

Draco's eye twitched and he pulled out his wand. "I'll kill you!"

"And why do you have a stick in your hand? Oh please, don't tell me that you actually believe that senile old coot's whole 'Hogwarts: School of Witchcraft and Wizardry' crap, do you? You do realize we're supposed to be the sane ones, right?"

"…" Draco had nothing to say at that, trying to figure out what was going on.

Blaise snickered; the only one brave enough to do so.

Harry continued on, taking Draco's silence for acceptance, something he did. A lot. "I mean, isn't all that for little kids… or you know… the insane people that were sorted in the other three 'houses?'" Harry's fingers air-quoted the 'houses'.

"…" Draco was still trying to figure out what was going on.

Blaise, having heard rumors on the train, already knew exactly what Harry believed Hogwarts to be.

"Hello?" Harry waved his hand in front of Draco's face, "Hello? Oh, great… he's dead." Harry poked Draco on the forehead and the blonde fell over (it was the Power Poke of Doom™).

"Huh?" Draco asked, wondering how he got on the floor.

"He's alive," Harry said, looking like he was conflicted about being happy or sad about that; he settled for happy, "Thank God! I don't want to go to juvie just because of some insane people here."

"What's juvie?" one of the other first years whispered to an older student.

"No idea," the student whispered back.

{-3-}

Later that night, the boys had gotten ready for bed in the First Year Boys Dorm Room. Harry had no idea why everyone spoke in capitals, but figured it was just another reason why they were in this insane asylum.

"Nice to be in the sane house, isn't it?" Blaise said to Harry, as he levitated his books out of his trunk.

"If you're sane… then why…" Harry was cut off before he could finish asking about Blaise's use of magic.

"It makes the insane ones feel better," Blaise said.

"Ah… I suppose that that's a good enough reason to play along," Harry said, smiling.

{-3-}

The campers eventually had enough of the day and went to bed. Even Harry. And the next day, in the Transfiguration Classroom, he met one of the senile patients.

"Finally decide to give up the 'insane asylum' ruse, Mr. Potter?" McGonagall said.

"No," Harry replied, as he transfigured his match to a needle and back repeatedly.

"Then why -" McGonagall was cut off, just like Harry last night.

"It makes the insane ones feel better," Harry repeated Blaise's words from the night before.

McGonagall's eye twitched.

Both Harry and Blaise grinned.

{-3-}

Read and Review, please! Smiles!

Rune/Steve2