Equius (hearts) Kanaya: "Do you ever feel like falling/For someone you never thought of falling for?/But without him/Though you move, you're getting nowhere" -Studio Killers, Who Is In Your Heart Now?
Some mornings, long after Nepeta has fallen asleep at her keyboard from late jamming sessions, Equius watches the light of Alternia's harsh sun sweep over the cliffs. He looks, and wonders what it would feel like to let that burning sun touch his skin. Would it be pleasant to die that way? To let the warmth of the star wash over him, baking away him and his impurities until nothing is left but clean ashes.
He washes those thoughts away at the ablution trap, and bids Kanaya an early morning. She always logs onto trollian at this hour, for some reason, and he finds it rude not to acknowledge her. She's pleasant and dignified, and he cautiously holds the opinion that Kanaya Maryam is a jewel amongst their uncouth peers.
Nepeta teases him about a flushed crush, which is nonsense. He barely knows the girl! He just has amicable chats with her as the sun rises, before he inevitably starts dozing at his keyboard and has to retire. It's all very simple, friendly stuff, nothing flushed, pitched, pale, or even remotely ashen about it, thank you very much, Nepeta.
The game is much different, because by then he's seen her in person. And he can't ignore that she is, as Eridan ungracefully and grudgingly puts it, "Wwhale, she's freakin' beautiful. Wwhat? Wwe're all thinkin' it, I'm just sayin'." Not that anyone takes him seriously, or that anyone notices the blue blush or the nervous sweat Equius had worked up.
He'd thought he'd been the only one to notice. And then it's nothing but quests and busy and the times he carves out for Nepeta, and the time he makes just so he can talk to Kanaya. She's graceful, and glorious, and there are hints of raw power in the curve of her muscles and he wonders if she'd ever feel the same for him. How could she? She was a goddess and he felt so unfit to even talk to her as much as he did.
"Nepeta." He'd said once, during a jam. "I need to…fix myself. I…"
"For Kanaya, right?" she'd asked gently, a tender affection in the curve of her smile. And he'd blushed and fallen silent, unknowing of how to agree. "It's okay, Equ-hiss!" Nepeta said cheerily, "We can make it work!"
And, by some miracle…they do. It makes a difference, the others notice. And then, the day they gather on the battlefield, he stands by her and says. "Kanaya Maryam, I do believe I am flushed for you." And she smiles, and his heart almost stops with a flood of emotion.