A/N – Sorry for the wait. I have been slightly busy with house work, and I am finally getting a social life again. I do realise how sad that sounds. Anyway. Enjoy this next chapter and let me know what you guys think. JANE'S VIEW.
Over the past few weeks I had gotten better at letting Maura change my bandages. I still refused to look. I was scared that if I looked all the horrible memories of the night would come back to me. And of course it still hurt like a bitch. But it was starting to get a bit more bearable each time she did it. She managed to convince me to go to those physiotherapy sessions, and good thing she did because if she hadn't done so, I would be going to school right now. I had already missed best part of three weeks of school, and that was the last thing I wanted to do. And I couldn't spend any more time at the house with Ma. I was going out of my fucking mind listening to her all day, and being stuck with her constant talk shows on TV. I was so glad every time I got a text from Maura saying that she was outside my house. I would always spend the afternoon with Maura. Most of the time I would spend the day at home until Maura finished at school and came and got me. But now I was finally allowed to go back to school I still can't write with my hands, but the physiotherapist says I have enough movement back in my hands to type. That just means the school has to provide me with a computer.
The only thing I really care about though is the fact that I am out of the house. As much as I love my Ma, there is only ever so much I can take of her until I want to rip my hair out. I couldn't drive myself to school, so Frost would swing by my place and give me a lift. It was my first day back, and I had never been so scared before in my life. I knew that everyone had heard about what happened to me. It had been all over the news for the past two weeks. I was hoping to be able to go back to school, and things wouldn't be any different, but I knew that was the last thing I would get.
"Are you okay?" Frost brought me out of my thoughts. I hadn't even realised how close we were to the school.
"Yeah. Just nervous about coming back. I haven't really seen anyone for weeks. Not sure how to react with everyone. Especially if they bring 'it'up." We came round a bend and I saw the school, and outside it, was the car park. Completely packed with both staff and students. Frost slowed down a bit. I turned to him to see what he was doing.
"Thought I might give you the chance to say you want me to turn around." I smiled. He always managed to think of me. And he was never wrong about what I needed.
"No. If I don't go now, I don't think I will ever come back. I need to face the music. No matter how loud it might be." We pulled up, and instantly the car was swarmed with people. Frost had to almost stop the car so that he didn't hit anyone, but her kept it moving. He got me as close to the front of the school as he could. He must have planned something because when he did come to a stop, there was Korsak and Maura, at the door waiting for me. I opened the door and the noise hit my ears like a storm. Korsak put his arm around me and made me shrug down so I kept my face out the way. Maura walked in front of me, and I could hear Frost screaming behind me for everyone to back off. We made it inside the building, and the minute we got past the bulk of the crowd Korsak grabbed my wrist.
"Run." I sprinted behind Korsak, as he led me through the halls of the school. He must have gotten a room ready so that when I arrived we could hang out there and wait for people to go to their classes. After a minute I realised where Korsak was leading me and started taking the lead myself. We made it to Maura's classroom and managed to look the door behind us. Frost, Korsak, Maura and myself, were all out of breath from the running. This wasn't how I wanted this to go at all. The last thing I wanted to do was to run. Run from all my problems. That was what got me into this mess in the first place. If I had addressed the Hoyt issue sooner, maybe none of this would have happened. As I looked around I noticed someone sitting in Maura's chair.
"Headmistress?" She spun around in the chair and faced us.
"Please, I think considering the circumstances you could call me Miss Rafter." Frost, Korsak and I all looked to each other. I had confusion plastered across my face, but Frost and Korsak were grinning from ear to ear.
"Okay, now what don't ii know?"
"Say hello to our secret weapon." Korsak gestured to Miss Rafter who took a little curtsy. Sitting down you could never truly tell how tall she was, and I had never paid much attention to her when she did stand. But now, I realised she was a rather small women. But I still wouldn't want to mess with her. She was small, but still just as powerful.
"I realise that this whole ordeal hasn't been easy, on any of you." She turned her gaze to Maura, who lowered her head from the look. Something had obviously happened that I wasn't aware of. But now wasn't the time to ask. I would just have to remember to ask her about it later. "So I figured I would try and help you in any way I can. The first thing I will do," She started to head towards the door. She laid her hand on the handle and turned back to us. "Is give you all a bit of privacy." She swung the door open, and I jumped behind Korsak, readying myself for the swarm of people that were about to trample me. But they never came. "Anyone who is caught troubling Miss Rizzoli will receive a month's worth of detention, and I will be sure to make their school lives an absolute living hell. Now, if you don't make your way to classes right now, I will be sure to have each and every one of you write out 1000 lines for me. Trust me. I can do that." I never saw a crowd disappear so fast. "Alright, that is my job done. I must return to my duties." She left the room and closed the door behind her. Leaving the four of us alone to chat.
"Okay, can someone please fill me in on…that." I gestured to the door that Miss Rafter and the crowd had just left from. Maura stood forward and laid her hand on my shoulder.
"Well, we knew that you returning to school was going to be trouble, so we had started planning how to make it easier from day one."
"However, we figured that there was no way we could control what all the students and staff did, so we kind of needed to call in some of the big guns." Frost explained before stepping back and letting Korsak take over.
"We went to Miss Isles and asked her for help, and she went straight to Miss Rafter who was more than happy to help her 'favourite student' as she herself said. She made sure that no one would have any lessons in here at all today, which means that if at any point you need to you, can come to this room to calm down." I stood looking at them all for a moment in disbelief. But I could tell from their faces, that they had never been more serious.
"You guys are amazing. I can't believe you did all this."
"We couldn't let you suffer anymore. School is hard enough as it is. I couldn't imagine doing through it as a celebrity." Sometimes Frost does say the stupidest of things.
"One question though." I turned to face Maura. Her face went pale as though she knew what I was going to ask. "What was with that look that Miss Rafter gave you? You looked almost guilty when she looked at you."
"I had to tell Miss Rafter about…us. And because I am a teacher and you are a student, things became complicated."
"Wait why did you have to tell her?" My voice was a mixture of feeling betrayed, and angry.
"We had to show her the notes that Hoyt sent us, and when she read them, it wasn't like I couldn't tell her what was going on. She isn't a stupid women. Either I told her, or she would have worked it out for herself. But she reacted better than I thought she would have." I calmed down a bit after that.
"What do you mean? How did she react?"
"Well, she is letting me keep my job, which is better than what happened the last time. But she said that if anything happens between us, nothing can continue into the school itself. Which I think, we can both respect."
"Fair enough. Sorry, about almost getting you fired."
"Are kidding, I wouldn't trade a second of what we have gone through, for anything." She placed a soft kiss on my lips. I have craved so much more contact for so long, but I can't give her anything in return. I am on just able to hold hands with her, but she can't really apply any pressure to my hands before I start to scream from the pain. I would need to talk to her about this all later. Tell her how I feel and be honest with her. I have been so closed lately, we haven't really spoken to each other. We just keep tip toeing around everything. But it would have to wait. For now, I just needed to get through the school day without being mauled by the crowd. Korsak made me jump as he started talking again.
"Alright then Jane. What lessons are you meant to have today?" I tried to remember my schedule. I had it memorised after the first week and it had stuck since.
"Uh, I start with a double art lesson, but I seriously doubt I will be able to do that. Then after break, I have maths, followed by biology." I looked to Maura and gave a small smile. "Last two lessons are PE and English." My voice almost died at the final word. The room was silent for a few moments before Maura jumped in.
Well, I am free the first two lessons so I can keep you company for that. Do you think you can manage going to maths and biology?"
"I can try at least. Like you said, I can always come back to this room if I need to right?"
"Yeah. And then we got biology, which I doubt you would want to miss." Frost gave me a cheeky grin. Knowing what he was referring to, I returned the smile.
"Couch has asked if you would help him for the PE lesson. So rather than doing the lesson he was wondering if you would help him to teach it."
"Sure. So long as he understands, I don't want to talk to anyone about it."
"He has been made fully aware of that. As has all the teachers now." Korsak explained. That helped me to calm my nerves at least a small bit. "And we have a new English teacher, however it will be up to you as to whether or not you go to the lesson. No one is forcing you on that one."
"If it's alright, I think I might skip that lesson. Maybe couch could use my help for a double lesson."
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First bell went and Korsak and Frost cleared off to head to lesson. Maura made sure to lock the door behind them to make sure that anyone passing couldn't get in.
"Would you mind putting the blind down too? I'll feel like a zoo animal if people just stare at me as they pass the room." She did as I asked without any questioning. She came back over and sat next to me.
"It will get better. They just want to see you because you're the biggest thing in news right now. As soon as the reporters find something bigger to write about I'm sure they will leave you alone." Once she had finished, I leaned over and pushed our lips' together. The kiss was passionate, an intimate, and the longer we held it, the more I craved more contact. More passion. More Maura. I started to increase the contact, but before I got very far Maura pushed me back by the shoulders and looked into my eyes.
"Did I do something wrong?"
"No of course not. Well…you sort of did. We aren't meant to be doing anything in school remember."
"Ok, fair enough. But have I done something to upset you?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, since I got out of the hospital, you have just been treating me differently. I mean I knew it wouldn't all go back to the way it was instantly. Things just don't work like that. But something just doesn't feel right. It's like your holding back. It feels like you're walking on broken glass."
"I guess I haven't exactly handled everything properly."
"Okay, now what do you mean?"
"You're right, I have been holding back. But for good reason. Hoyt hurt you. And I feel like if I try and push you to do anything you don't want to do, you will think I am doing what Hoyt did, and you'll run. You would curl back into your bubble that you were in for days. So I just didn't try and do anything. I figured it was better than losing you."
"Maura, you could never lose me."
"But I almost did. And that is what scares me so much. I almost lost you, and I never got to tell you how I really feel about you."
"Well, I'm here now. And my ears are wide open." She hesitated for a second before continuing.
"You make me feel something that I have never felt. Not with anyone. You make me feel, warm. And happy. Every time I am with you, I can't help but smile. And all I want to do is hold you. I want to know that you are there. I want to know that you are okay. You have no idea how hard it has been to not hold your hand for the past couple of weeks. I have to keep reminding myself to hold your arm, or you shoulder, but it isn't even remotely the same. And then when you kiss me, I feel like the whole world stands still for a moment, and we are the only ones in existence at that time. I have been killing myself not to go any further with you because I have been so concerned about your hands. I'll feel like I'm hurting you if I try and push you into anything. But all I want to do is touch you. Every inch, and every corner of you, I want to feel." She finally stopped to take a breath, and I saw my chance to talk myself.
"Maura, all I have wanted to do for the past few weeks is have you touch me. I have wanted to feel joy. Feel happiness. Feel wanted, in a good way." We both chuckled and then I continued. "But I thought that if I tried to get you to go further then I wouldn't be able to do anything for you. I can't give you what you give me. At least not now. And I crave you all the time. Every time I see you, my head goes dizzy from all these thoughts that start to run through my mind. All day I want to see you, and be with you. I can't live without you Maura Isles."
"And I can't live without you Jane Rizzoli." She leaned forward and cupped my cheek in her hand and pulled me closer. She laid her lips upon mine. This kiss said every feeling and emotion, neither of us had any words for. I pulled back and stared into her loving, hazel eyes.
"I guess we have both been holding a lot back from the other."
"Yeah. Looks like we have. But not anymore."
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A/N – I hope you all enjoyed the chapter. I figured we needed a bit of a heart to heart between our two leading ladies. Please remember to comment and review. Always happy to hear what you have to say.