Chapter Two
My mind took a minute to realize exactly what Carlisle had said; he wanted to tell the family about my…problem.
"No! Carlisle, please! I beg of you, don't tell them. My dad will be so angry with me; he'll yell at me and…and please don't tell them!" I said looking to the ground.
He took my chin in his hand, forcing my eyes to look at him, "Nessie, your father will not be upset with you by any means once so ever. I promise you! If anything he'll be worried, I know my own son Nessie."
"But Carlisle…I had a problem telling you, just ONE person! I can't tell another EIGHT people!"
"You won't have to if you don't want to, I'll tell them for you" his golden eyes showing me the passage of hope when I looked into them, "but they have to know, you need treatment-"
My mind froze at the word treatment not hearing anything else Carlisle had said. I wanted help but not from…from a…a psychologist. I said the word in my head as if it was some type of profanity. I thought the worse that could happen was that Carlisle would keep a close eye on me and keep sharp objects away from me but never this!
"Nessie?" he asked bringing me back to the problem at hand, "I lost you for a moment."
"Yeah, you did, when you said the word treatment" I said shocked, "I don't need treatment Carlisle. I'll stop! I will!" I said, but deep down I knew it was a lie, I had told myself I would stop so many times and I never followed through.
"No, you are not going to stop Nessie. I know you aren't because that is the common situation with these cases."
"But…Carlisle…it's intimidating to talk to a…a…" I had a hard time getting the word out.
Carlisle raised his eyebrow, "A psychiatrist?" he said filling in the word for me.
"Yes! That! I can't talk to them about….about this thing!" I never said the word; self-harm, self-mutilation, cutter. Those were words that I never spoke, I don't know why though.
"By 'this thing'" Carlisle questioned, "You mean self-harming?" he asked.
"Yes, I don't like to say the word, ok?" I said a little too aggressively but he let it slide this once.
"I see and would you like to explain why you don't like to say it?" he asked
I didn't want to answer it but it wasn't meant to be rhetorical so I had to come up with an excuse!
"We are getting off topic here! The point is that…" I paused mid-sentence as I was about to tell another lie but in all honesty….I was tired of lying, lying to Jacob, to dad and mom, Esme, Rose, Emmett, Alice, Jasper…myself. I didn't want to lie anymore, "…I'm scared that the family won't see me the same and will start treating me differently." I said in almost a whisper while looking down at the ground.
"Nessie" he got down on one knee in front of me so that his gold eyes were leveled with mine, "Listen to everything I am about to say without interruption. I need you to know that you will never be anything less than a Cullen to us. You will always be a part of this family, no matter what! Yes, you may self-harm but things will get better- I promise. Once you leave high school and go onto college it will be as if this was all a bad nightmare and I'm glad you told me about this because if you hadn't you could have gone your whole life self-harming and causing permanent damage."
"You promise me it will get better?" I said after listening to his speech.
He nodded, "You have my word on it." He pulled me into a hug and I stayed like that for a while just taking in his calming scent before I pulled away.
"Carlisle…do I have to be there when you tell the family?"
"It would be the best choice but I can do it while you are gone for the day at school" he offered. I thought that would be worse, coming home and seeing all their faces with disappointment and worry, I couldn't handle it.
"No, I think I'll stay in the room" I told him.
"Good, I'm glad to hear that…now why don't you go to your room while I make some calls" the translation for this was: I need you to leave so I can tell the family to come home early and see if I can find one of my psychiatric co-worker to be your new doctor.
I left gladly not wanting to hear the conversation.
Author's Note: I hope you all enjoyed the second part of the story. The next part will be when she tells the family about what is going on. I know it is a short chapter but I promise that more is soon to come! :) Please Review! NOTE: THOSE WHO REVIEW WILL GET A PREVIEW OF THE NEXT CHAPTER! As well, tell me in a review how you think each family member might react to Nessie's self-harming.