I'm sorry that this took so long to get out but I flew home for the holidays. I hope that everyone had an amazing holiday, I hope this new year is everything you want it to be. Also don't hate me for this chapter. -Lanie x

Tara had spent the last half an hour trying to come out with ways to avoid going and working on this project with Ima, but she was coming up with nothing. She even thought about telling her she'd do the entire project for them but she didn't really want to risk that. So many bad things could happen if she volunteered to do that. The entire time she kept reminding herself that sometimes you had to work with people that you couldn't stand. It was a part of life. That wasn't making this any easier for her though. This was the last thing she wanted to do. Okay well not the last thing, having another conversation with Gemma was higher up on that list.

Getting ready for tomorrow she tried to make herself look as good as possible. She didn't want to give Ima any reason to think less of her than she already did. There was even some help from Anna. The girl had brought an outfit over for her. By the time she put it on Tara was starting to regret this decision. If there was anything Tara wasn't it was a slut and the tight and low cut shirt along with the short shirt well it made her seem like it.

"I can't wear this Anna."

"You are going to. Ima isn't going to know what hit her." There was a giggle and for some reason it annoyed the brunette to no end.

"Can't I just hit her again?" Tara practically growled.

"No! Wear the outfit. It'll be the same damage."

"I really don't think I can pull this off."

She heard the other girl let out a huff. "You can though! I mean…Jax would like it. You look hot Tar!"

Tara looked in the mirror, she did look hot. But was she willing to go this far? To start to lose the person that she is just because of how Ima looks at her? The blonde walked up behind her and put her hands on her shoulders.

"You do realize that it was time for a makeover right?"

"I..just.. This isn't me, A." She looked at her friend through the mirror and frowned.

"You gotta be who Jax needs you to be. You'll be just what you need him to be." With that the girl hopped back over to the bed.

With one last glance into the mirror she let out a sigh. Anna was right; there was no doubt in her mind about that. The people that hung around the club dressed like this, this is the type of person that Jax wanted. Hell he might even need someone like this. That self-doubt about not being what he needs started to fill him.

"Just wear it tomorrow and you'll be golden."

Tara turned to her friend as the tears stung her eyes. "Yeah you're right. This needs to be done."

"I'm glad that you've finally came to that conclusion. For being so bright, you really need help in the fashion department." Anna giggled completely oblivious to the fact that Tara was upset.

"That's why I have you Banana."

"Damn straight. You'd be lost without me." She got up and hugged Tara.

She returned the hug and smiled softly. "I guess so. Get outta here I need to change back into sweatpants."

"Ugh ruin the look I created." She rolled her eyes much to Tara's annoyance.

Tara tilted her head to the side and gave her a little push before pulling off the skirt. "Goodbye Anna."

Once she was out of the room and the door was shut, the tears started to roll down her cheeks. In all the years that they've known each other, Tara hasn't once cried in front of her friend. Very few people have gotten to see her cry. It's a sign of weakness and she wasn't weak. Or at least the front she put on wasn't weak. Putting a palm against her head, she let the sobs come out.

She was falling in love this guy and she couldn't be enough for him. These clothes weren't her. She was much simpler than what she looked like now. But this was how the girls Jax had been interested in looked. Wiping the tears away, she pulled the shirt off before grabbing her sweatpants and the sweatshirt that Jax had left with her. Tara wanted the comfort of him without him actually being with her. This wouldn't be easy to explain to him.

Once she began to calm down, she looked for the phone. She desperately wanted to hear his voice. Finding the phone buried in her covers, she threw herself into the bed. Wrapping herself up in her blankets, she pulled it almost over her head. Tara punched in the numbers that she knew by heart.

"Hey babe." She smiled softly at the smile of his voice.

"Hey Jackson." Tara sniffled quietly.

"What's wrong?" Jax voice was full of concern.

"It's just been a bad day, don't worry. "

"Was it your dad?"

"Oh, no I am just freaking out over tomorrow."

"Baby it'll all be okay. Opie and I will be in the library too in case anything bad happens."

"I can take care of myself Jax."

"I know I like being able to take care of you though." Tara took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down.

"Do you?" Her voice was quiet and full of doubt.

"Tara Grace Knowles, you should know that I do. I am always going to protect you." Tara could hear the conviction in his voice.

See there's nothing to worry about, Tara thought. Even though she heard his words, he was having a hard time believing them.

"What about..the club? I mean I don't fi—"

"We'll worry about that someday, you don't need to be an old lady for a long time."

"I still wo—" He stopped her again and she let out a huff.

"Tara stop. So you don't dress like them, I know you well enough to know that you've got the attitude in there."

In her heart she knew that he was trying to make her see the bigger picture of things but it wasn't working. What he said just made it all that much worse. Because Anna was right, he didn't like the way she dressed. He needed her to be like them. Tara gulped and tried to hold back the fresh wave of tears.

"Jax, I need to go. My Dad needed me to pick him up at 3."

"I'll see you later?" He asked.

Tara shook her head; she didn't want him over for dinner, not tonight. "Actually I'll just see at school tomorrow."

"Ba—"

"I have a lot of work to do for tomorrow."

"Okay, I'll see ya then I guess."

"Bye Jax."

"Bye babe."

Tara waited for the other line to go dead before she threw the phone. She let out a scream and buried herself in her blankets. Not realizing that her dad was home she didn't hear him get up from the couch and make his way towards her. Her dad walked into the room.

"You doing okay?"

"I'm fine. Just frustrated."

"Anything you want to talk about?"

"No offence but I don't think you want to hear all about my boy issues."

"He isn't hurting you, right?"

Tara smiled at her father's concern and shook her head.

"Good. Wanna be alone?" Dean could sense that his daughter needed to work this out on her own.

"Please. I'll come out and cook dinner soon."

Her dad nodded and walked out shutting the door behind him. She let out a shaky breath and closed her eyes.

…

Tara walked into class a few minutes late. She gave her teacher the note and walked to her seat, she could everyone's eyes on her. Jax's burned into her. This was exactly why she showed up late, she knew that everyone was going to stare at her because of the way she was dressed. This was the easiest way to avoid that…for one class anyways. Sitting down her eyes went to Anna who gave her thumbs up before turning back around. She held the jacket a little closer to her before turning her attention to her teacher.

By the time class was over, Jax was already up and holding out his hand for her. Tara stood up and put her hand in his. Her heart raced a little as his eyes wandered over her body. Shifting from side to side, she pulled him out of the room.

"What brought this on?" He asked her.

"Do you like it." She asked as she looked up at him.

"Hell yeah I do."

"Good."

…

The rest of the day went just as she thought it would, all eyes were on her. To say that she hated all of the attention would be an understatement. Everyone kept whispering about her, Anna assured her that it was all good. That everyone really liked how she was dressed today. Tara wasn't sure how she felt about that.

After the final bell she went to go find Jax when David Hale cornered her. She was aware of the crush that he had on her but he didn't think that anything was going to come of that. He was too sweet to ever push her to do anything.

"You look really hot today."

"Uh thanks."

"Wanna go hang out?"

"I can't today, I have to work with Ima."

"You can blow that off. You'll do it anyways."

"I really should go myself."

He reached around and pulled her closer to him, Tara shifted uncomfortably. He leaned into kiss her and just as his lips touched hers, Jax had pulled him off. Throwing a few punches, Tara's voice finally pulled him away from David. She looked up at him scared before she watched him turn and walk away.

"Jackson." She ran after him. Once she caught up to him she put her hand on his arm and he stopped walking. He looked her up and down before kissing her once.

"This wouldn't be an issue if you weren't dressed him this." He mumbled against her lips.

"I thought you liked it?"

"It's hot but it's not you." He ran his finger across her lip to rub off some of the lipstick.

"You don't like it." She whispered.

"No. Why the hell are you doing this? This isn't you."

"But this is what you like.."

"No, Tara I liked you the way you were. This isn't you."

"Maybe it is now. Maybe this is the new me."

"The new you just about got kissed. If this is the new you I.."

"You what? Can't be with me? That's bullshit. This is the type of girl you've always fucked."

"Are you comparing yourself to them now? Fuck maybe you aren't the girl I fell for."

Tara saw Anna close and turned away from him sniffling and walked over to her. She heard Jax let out a sigh but he walked towards Opie.

"Walk to the library with me?"

"Sure. Trouble in paradise?"

"You could say that."

Tara knew that this was her friends fault, she was the one that told her that Jax would like this. That this is how she needed to be for him yet he doesn't like it. She walked with her in silence. Part of her knows if she says anything she won't be able to hold back the yelling.

"Tara…you're really quiet? What happened?"

"You told me this is how I needed to be.." She felt her heard quake.

"He didn't like it?"

"No he hated it." She replied dryly.

By then they were at the library, she saw that Jax was already there and leaning against his bike. He gave her a soft smile. The two girls walked towards him. Tara looked over at Anna, she looked like she was contemplating something.

"Weird he was into that when…I mean shit."

Tara stopped dead in her tracks and looked at him with hurt written all over her face. Her head turned back over to Anna, clenched jaw. All she wanted right now was to unhear those words that had been uttered from the girl's lips. She continued to walk to Jax; she stopped once she was in front of him. He reached for her but she moved back and shook her head.

"Don't."

"Tara please, let me explain."

"Explain what? How you slept with my best friend?" She said perfectly impassive.

"Tara don't be like that."

"Are you kidding me?" She yelled.

"Tara you're overre—" Anna started and Tara turned to face her.

"Shut up, you're no better than Ima"

With that outburst, Jax pulled her into his arms and pulled her away from Anna, he left the area with a struggling Tara. Once he was far enough away, he let go of her. Her chest was rising quickly as her heart rate sped up.

"When."

"When we first started hanging out."

Tara felt her heart drop down to her stomach, Anna had known how she felt about Jax early on. She had known and she still did this to her. Their friendship had been a lie the past few months. She looked down and felt the tears fall to her cheeks.

"I thought you cared about me."

"Shit Tara I do."

"Back then…I thought I was special. I wasn't though."

"Yes you were." He moved his hand to her chin and made her look at him. "You still are."

She shook her head. "You still did it… She's my best friend."

"I know, I didn't know how… I wish I could take it back."

"Yeah, me too. But you can't turn back time."

Tara turned away from him with tears streaming down her face. She started to walk away from him, he went to grab her arm but she pulled it away from him and ignored his calls after her. Opie was waiting outside with Anna. It was clear he didn't know what was going on because as soon as his eyes fell to her.

"Tara you okay?" He asked as he moved towards her, she moved passed him and went straight to Anna.

"You're dead to me." She whispered as she wiped her hand across her face.

Tara turned and walked into the library not caring how messy her makeup was. When Ima saw her she let out a gasp. She wiped her face again and glared at Ima, she assumed that the girl would shut up after that. It was obvious that if Tara didn't get over this that Ima would get what she wanted in the first place. Jax wouldn't have anyone he'd be free to fuck. And right now, she wasn't sure if that was going to happen or not. The thought of them together made her sick. After everything she had given him. Time could only tell if she'd forgive him.