Year 7
1977
Early October
Walking along the dimly lit corridor near the basements of the castle were two quiet students. The taller one had her robe slung over one arm, her wand grasped carelessly in the other. Her silver and blue tie was loosened, betraying how relaxed she was at that moment. As it was after-hours these two students were supposed to be searching for trouble makers, young couples out late, or eccentric bibliophiles who stowed away in the library after closing.
However, the two had only stumbled across the blasted poltergeist, Peeves, and startled one house-elf who was returning from the laundry rooms to the kitchen by foot (in place of apparation). This elf, Cherry, was young and still new at Hogwarts and took as many trips by foot as possible in order to explore this hallowed academy.
Upon bumping into the students she had peered over the large pile of neatly folded bed hangings (gold, Hufflepuff) and stammered, "Hello there, Master Remus! Would you like for Cherry to get you anything?"
"No, Cherry. That's not necessary. Perhaps later after our patrol." Remus said gently, Cherry had a habit of becoming very flustered if her services were refused. Remus assumed it was because of her tender age.
"Excellent idea, Master Remus! I will prepare you some hot chocolate and cakes!" Cherry scurried off, already deciding which of the werewolf's favorites she would make.
Remus shook his head and led the sixth year Ravenclaw up the steps to continue their patrol along the eastern corridor which led to the library. Despite being a year younger than he, Remus had found that Penelope Stebbins was a great patrol partner. At first conversation had been hesitant and awkward. The two had fallen into the traps of standard Hogwarts small talk; favorite Quidditch teams, favorite Professor, least favorite subject, best study spots, what haunted the Shrieking Shack, etc etc. It hadn't taken long for the two to discover their mutual love for Arithmancy. Despite her passion and clear intelligence for the subject, Remus had been able to clear up some of her confusions regarding the usage of a particular sequence of numbers used most often in the creating of new Transfiguration spells.
"Professor Beetleby should just let you teach the fifth sixth years, Remus. You know how tetchy he is with students! Can't stand to answer a single question and just tells us all to read out texts."
"I'd love to be a teacher one day," he began with a rueful smile, "but I don't think it will be possible."
"Why not? You're great at explaining things! Look how well you did just now and we didn't even have any notes or books."
Remus's heart stopped for a moment. He had always loved helping people understand things, sharing knowledge, and discovering information together. It was a huge part of why he never begrudged his friends any help with their homework. He wasn't going to delude himself into thinking any type of institution would allow a werewolf to teach young students, though, and had quickly given up that dream which had been born in third year after his first tutoring session.
"I guess because of the war. Something makes me feel like I have to be out there, fighting."
Penelope frowned at him.
"Teaching and training students is part of fighting, Remus. You and I wouldn't know what we do about magic without our teachers."
"It doesn't seem like enough, Penelope." Remus's initial elation at finding an excuse other than his lycanthropy quickly disappeared.
He had not wanted to begin this discussion with anyone that night. He had been keeping an eye on the first-year, Carrie, while Sirius nearly stalked James everywhere. Carrie put on a much better show of being happy than James did, or perhaps it was easier to replace that enormous loss when there was still so much left to discover at Hogwarts. James was jaded and frustrated. He felt trapped. Carrie was just coming in to her own and had a lot to learn.
"I know what you mean, but its still important." She said after a long pause. Her voice was quiet and when Remus looked over at her he noticed how large and wet her brown eyes were. Remus closed his own eyes in preparation for what he knew she was about to say:
"My older cousin had just been accepted to auror training before this year started. He was out with his other friends who had also gotten accepted. They were attacked leaving a small pub in London by a group of fifteen of those Death Eaters."
She took a shaky breath and slid her robe over her shoulders, for warmth or comfort Remus wasn't sure.
"They killed them all, four wizards and witches fresh out of school. They were barely eighteen. Then, at the memorial service, some more Death Eaters showed up. The didn't do anything, they just stood there. When Robbie's mom started crying as they lowered him into the ground, the Death Eaters laughed. My uncles and my mom are muggles, Remus. The magical side of my family all had their wands out, but everyone else was trying to keep a duel from starting. 'There has been enough death in this family' my mother said. I was holding my wand so tightly I thought it would snap. What could I do? I had just gotten my O.W.L.S in the mail and here I was thinking about murdering these people in front of me."
Remus put a comforting hand on her arm and didn't say anything, waiting for her to continue. She was struggling mightily to hold back her tears. Finally she looked up at the ceiling and continued speaking. Her voice was detached.
"They all just apparated away in the middle of my family going crazy. We thought they had left us alone, you know? So we all go back to my Aunt Emma's house but when we get there, it's been destroyed. There was a Dark Mark floating above it and two of the muggle neighbor girls were suspended above the ruins. They were alive, but they've been in St. Mungo's since July. The healers can't bring them out of their comas."
Remus was flabbergasted. He stared at Penelope and mentally went through the list of every pureblood family Sirius had ever talked about. Stebbins did not call up anything special in his mind.
"Why did they...I mean, why would they do that?" Remus questioned, feeling his stomach churn.
He nearly jumped when he heard Penelope's shrill laugh.
"Oh Remus. You think these people only go after witches and wizards who are blood traitors or mudbloods? They're going after everyone. It doesn't matter if you keep your head down and try to ride it out. Unless you've got a Dark Mark on your arm, they'll kill you. First though, they'll torture you just for fun."
Remus had nothing to say in response to that, and the two finished the rest of their patrol in silence.
At the top of the steps just outside the Entrance Hall, Remus and Penelope met up with the other two prefects on patrol. Waiting for them were Fred and the seventh year Hufflepuff, Oscar Gifford.
"Hey, Penelope. I'll walk you to your common room." Oscar said immediately upon their arrival.
Remus tried to surpress a sigh of frustration. When the two were out of sight he turned to Fred with a raised eyebrow.
"Hello there, Mr. Lupin. Fancy walking me back to my common room?" Fred asked him with a wink.
And without waiting for Remus to respond he pressed his lips sweetly against the older wizard's.
Remus knew that he should have pushed him off and explained calmly that this wasn't a good idea and that it shouldn't happen anymore. The last half hour of patrol had made him feel so defeated, so lonely, so in need of comfort, however, that Remus found himself not only allowing Fred's lips to gently kiss his own, but also shoving the shorter boy into the empty room behind them.
The two didn't waste much time; Fred because he wanted Remus so badly he nearly vanished all their clothes, and Remus because if he paused even for a moment he knew he'd be overwhelmed by regret and the fear he was currently trying to shove away.
He slid his hand down to the button on Fred's trousers and grabbed the boy's bare hips harshly when he heard them hit the floor at their feet. Shoes were quickly kicked off as Fred's lips trailed down Remus's jaw (prickly with the lightest hint of a beard) until he was nipping roughly at Remus's neck. Remus didn't care that there might be marks the next day as his hands were busy pushing Fred's underwear down. Fred groaned into Remus's shoulder as the taller wizard's hand found him, hard and waiting.
"Fuck me, Remus." He said with another groan as Remus flicked his thumb over the tip. Remus pushed him towards the desk at the front of the classroom. He pulled off his own clothes, shedding his shirt and pants until he was standing in just his own tented boxers and socks.
Fred's eyes were dark and hooded. He turned and leaned his elbows on the desk, looking over his shoulder at Remus with a dirty smile on his face. Remus watched him for a moment, taking in the light muscles of the boys back, the curve of his ass, his thin legs.
He leaned down and fished his wand out of the puddle of clothes on the ground. Remus nearly growled when he heard how Fred responded to the charms he quickly cast. The long, low moan, was enough to make his body tense and his hips push forward against the air. He walked up to the boy, in his head he imagined it as a slow prowl, but in reality he knew it was nothing more than a gangly walk.
Remus buried his anxieties about the world around them as deep in Fred as he could. And when they were finished, Fred's nearly silent admission of "I love you" while he watched the werewolf get dressed sent Remus fleeing. He paused at the door, looking at the still naked sixth year and blurted out, "We can't do this anymore. It's over."
Remus nearly sprinted back to his dorm. The Fat Lady glared at his poor manners but when Remus entered the common room he forced himself to slow his walking and breath deeply before mounting the stairs. He was surprised to be greeted with the scent of fresh cakes and hot chocolate when he opened the door. Peter and James were sat on the floor around a large pile of fluffy desserts, each sipping giant mugs of hot chocolate.
"Oh, Moony! They brought this stuff for you, but you weren't here, so we just started eating." Peter said before taking a gulp of the steaming chocolate.
"Right." he said quietly. He felt nauseous for what had just happened.
Casual sex had never been Remus Lupin's style, not when he was terrified of someone commenting on his scars, or the multitude of other problems that could arise.
"What's up, mate?" James asked him suddenly. "You look a bit green."
"I can't talk about it." Remus said weakly, sitting down on his bed.
"Why the hell not?" James asked.
"I need Lily," Remus said.
"Well fat luck, mate. It's after hours and she's probably up in her room."
"Where's the map? She might be in the library." Remus jumped up, looking at the other two.
"Sirius took it. He's been hoarding it all night, glaring at it for hours and about twenty minutes ago he just jumped up and left." Peter was eyeing another cake, this one covered in blueberries, as he spoke.
"He was grumbling about that Hufflepuff prefect before he left." James added. Remus narrowed his eyes at the animagus. James was trying very hard to use his 'I'm not interested or aware of what's happening voice'. That meant he clearly suspected something was going on and was doing his best to wiggle information out of Remus. James blinked back at him slowly.
"Anything going on there you need to talk about?" James asked after a moment. "You know, like why Sirius kept muttering 'They've been in there for twenty minutes already!' and jabbing his wand at your dot on the map."
Peter looked up as if he suddenly understood what was happening.
"Wait! You're with that Fred bloke!"
Remus narrowed his eyes at James. Peter was, and always would be, an awful actor and it was painfully obvious in this moment that James had fed him that bit of information.
"I'm going back downstairs." Remus told them. Before he left though, he gathered the third mug of hot chocolate and several delicious looking custard filled cakes.
Remus was left alone with his guilt and sweets for another half hour. James disrupted his thoughts of self-loathing by plopping down onto the sofa next to him, in front of the dying embers. There was an overly-studious fifth year in the other corner of the room asleep on piles of notes, but neither seventh year felt the need to wake him.
"I'm sorry I stuck Pete on you like that, mate." James said immediately. He was slouched down low on the sofa, his glasses were slipping down his nose and James had to continuously push them back up. "I just wish you would be more open about it."
"Open about what?" Remus asked tightly.
"Your relationships." James said with a shrug, his hands now resting behind his head. "You act like none of us know or care. We were all worried about that stunt you pulled with Liam last year. But you didn't say anything and eventually we figured we could let you be."
Remus's mouth was dry and he felt his cheeks flush bright red.
"I don't need to be babysat, James." he said faintly.
"No one's trying to babysit you, Moony. We tell you about our shit, you tell us about yours. We're one big happy family. We're just trying to keep you sane."
"Fighting a losing battle on that one." Remus admitted with a quiet chuckle.
"Maybe."
"He said he loved me and I sprinted from the room. My trousers weren't even done up all the way."
"Well, that's very, Sirius-like of you." James said after a pause.
"I don't want him to like me." Remus pleaded.
"Why not?"
"Because it wasn't like that. It wasn't supposed to become anything."
"Moony, you can't stop other people from liking you. You're a handsome bloke, when you wipe the ink stains off your face and don't smell like the library." James looked Remus in the eye while he spoke, his own eyes twinkling happily.
"Potter, are you coming on to me? Because if so, you're doing a shit job."
James laughed loudly and Remus smiled at the sound. He had missed a carefree James more than anything.
"I'll leave that to Sirius." James said suddenly. Remus froze, not daring to breath and too afraid to look at his friend.
"Why do you say that, Prongs?"
"It's fairly obvious, Remus. Evans came up to me last night and asked about it."
"She did what?" Remus demanded, nearly seething. His embarrassment was momentarily forgotten in his rage.
"I told her I'd ask Sirius about it." He said with another shrug.
"I don't understand what this 'it' is?" Remus said desperately.
But James ignored him and walked back up the stairs.
"I'm off to bed, Moony. We've got Arithmancy in the morning. You'd best come up too."
Peter really loved Thursday. It was his favorite day because it meant he was finished with Transfiguration for the week and because he only had two classes; Care of Magical Creatures and Charms. The rest of the day was spent doing whatever Peter felt like doing. Mostly, that included hanging around whichever green house was empty at the time and perusing the wonderful plants Professor Zoticus was cultivating. He also liked to spend time with Hagrid, the gigantic Game Keeper that had a soft spot for dangerous animals (Peter was currently helping him re-locate a pricke of knarles from his garden).
This Thursday, however, he would not be paying any visits to Professor Zoticus or Hagrid.
Peter kicked at the dust bunnies on the ground and a few squealed and rolled out of his way. He was waiting behind the statue of the One-Eyed-Hag where James had said he would meet him. Peter glanced at his watch, seventeen seconds. His stomach grumbled loudly and he pulled his cloak around him as he felt a draft come down the passage. James had arrived then.
"Alright, Pete?" James asked casually enough, but in the light of his lumos charm Peter could see that James wasn't smiling and he didn't look even slightly happy.
"What's this about, Prongs?" Peter asked as the two fell into step together, their school shoes slapping rhythmically on the old stone.
"Do you remember that bloke we were telling you about last week, on the way back from the Shack?"
"Yeah. Kingsley, the auror."
"We're going to meet him."
Peter didn't say anything more and scratched his head anxiously. He cast his mind back to the dawn after last month's full moon. He and Sirius were supporting a wobbly James on the way back to the castle. They normally didn't speak much after Remus had transformed back seeing as they were always tired. Peter had grown to enjoy those brief moments walking in the grey pre-dawn light with his friends with disillusionment charms cast even while under the cloak. Even though Remus was never physically with them in these moments, it was safe to say that all three were thinking of him, and Peter could feel his soothing presence in the back of his mind as he trudged along, sometimes leading, sometimes following the others.
This dawn though, Sirius had broken the traditional silence.
"Look, Peter, we need to talk to you. It's really important and you have to swear not to tell anyone."
"Of course." Peter said, assuming that this was about a prank. It would be the first one of that year, he had smiled at the idea of getting back into the game.
"This goes beyond Marauder business, Pete. It's bigger than us." James puffed out with a wince on his face. Perhaps they should have healed the large cut on his leg before going to the castle.
Peter hadn't said anything and just waited expectantly.
"After the funeral, this auror came and spoke to us…" And with that, Peter had learned all that Sirius and James knew about the mysterious Order of the Phoenix. When Sirius started rattling off names of students that suspected to be in league with the Death Eaters, Peter had felt himself shake. Death Eaters? Inside Hogwarts? He was scared. He had read the papers, much like Lily, and he had watched his mother keep careful count of each death this summer. He wanted no part in this war, he did not want to become another tally-mark on his mother's cabinet.
"We're afraid too." James had comforted once the boys had reached the dorm. "But we can't let them get away with this."
Peter had nodded then, out of exhaustion and agreement. He had dropped straight to bed as Sirius began to heal James's leg and barely stirred as the other two kept discussing the Order.
"Alright, hold still we'll need to do disguises. I told Kingsley I'd bring you along today. You'll need to wear this so he recognizes us." James pulled out a ghastly bowler hat from under his robes.
"James, I'm not sure this is a good idea."
"Come on, Wormtail. It's just one meeting." James screwed his eyes together and muttered a few spells. Wormtail's hair became a nice oily black color, and James conjured some thick glasses for him.
"I'm not very good at disguising spells yet, we'll have to just transfigure your clothes and try not to make eye contact with anyone." James pulled out the Invisibility cloak and threw it around his own shoulders.
"What should I wear?" Peter asked, worry and desperation flooding his voice. James ignored it.
"How about a dark green vest. Maybe with little stars on it?" Peter looked at him in exasperation. Who did James think Wormtail was, Sirius? He managed to turn his school jumper into a nice, thick green vest, but the white shirt underneath looked a bit bizarre. He picked at his shirtsleeve and stuck his tongue out slightly as he thought.
"Come on, Peter. We've got to go. It's almost time." James glanced down at his watch, then at his friend. He frowned and quickly transfigured the Hogwarts cloak into a heavy brown woolen thing. He turned, pulling the cloak over his head so that all Peter could see of him were his feet when he walked.
"Prongs!" he hissed as the eased into Honeydukes Cellar. "Your feet."
James looked down and smiled brightly at Peter, forgetting the boy couldn't see his face. He hurriedly cast the charm.
Kingsley Shacklebolt was sipping his drink and occasionally munching on a chip in the corner of the Hog's Head. Aberforth hadn't been overly pleased to see the tall wizard waltz into his establishment with the greasy chips, but knew his business in the village and couldn't bring himself to kick the auror out. The little bell jingled as the door opened and a short man with black hair and an atrocious hat stepped in, followed by a harsh gust of autumn wind.
"Close the bloody door!" Aberforth growled and he heard Kingsley snort into his filthy glass.
"Er, right." the man squeaked. Aberforth raised his eyebrows and glanced at Kingsley.
There was another shady group of wizards in the corner talking in hushed voices around a tattered notebook. Aberforth had noticed the exchange of several bags of coin already. They didn't seem to notice the newcomer as he went straight to the booth where the auror was sitting.
"Well what're ya' drinkin?" Aberforth shouted. Merlin's beard these spies got worse and worse every day. Can't even handle meeting in a pub.
The man in the hat was facing away from Aberforth and the younger Dumbledore saw his back tense.
"I'll have what my friend's drinking." he said, and all of his previous squeaky nerves seemed to have disappeared. Aberforth thought this was a definite improvement. When he walked over to the booth with another mug of ale, he heard the two men discussing the latest quidditch results. Kingsley was going on about the Holyhead Harpies but the man in the hat was laughing and slapping his hand on the table. At least they aren't talking about the weather, Aberforth conceded.
"Mufflato." James whispered as the bartender returned to his station. Kingsley's eyes flicked in his direction but he didn't make any other movements that gave away James's presence.
"Drink up, Peter." James said quietly. He could see his friend's hands were still shaking. Peter took an unnecessarily large gulp.
"What's the news, Shaklebolt?" James asked after a lull in the quidditch debate.
"You know I can't share official business with you, Rumpert."
Peter almost looked behind him before he realized that 'Rumpert' was his new code-name.
"Any unofficial news you can pass along?" Peter asked breathlessly, hoping he was doing this right.
"I'll gladly share some news if you do me a favor, Rumpert."
"What is it?" James breathed and Peter could feel his friend's excitement in the air around them.
"I've a note that needs to be delivered and I'm afraid my owl's gotten ill and I hate to pay for one."
"Okay." Peter said, cutting James off in the hope of proving to both men here that even though he was terrified, he wasn't completely useless.
"Excellent." Kingsley said and sat back. James thought he might burst from anticipation as the two watched the auror sip his ale.
"The news?" James finally demanded in a hot whisper.
"Chip?" Kingsley offered. Peter took a handful and chewed slowly. His stomach grumbled and he hoped he could stop in the kitchens when they got back to school.
"We've added new members. I've also reason to suspect the Minister is compromised." As he spoke he slid a book across the table to Peter, who grabbed hold of it tenderly without looking at the cover.
The boys prodded Kingsley for more details about the minister, but after the third refusal they gave up. The older wizard slid a folded piece of parchment across the table and smiled at Peter. James removed the charm just in time for the pub to hear Kingsley say loudly,
"Thanks for your cooperation, Rumpert. I'm glad you see why its best to shut things down early. I'd hate to drag you to Azkaban!"
Peter was treated to a heavy clap on the shoulder and a wolfish grin from the auror as he strode away. On his way out the door he flipped a coin to Aberforth, who began whistling merrily upon receiving payment.
Peter grabbed hold of the book and letter tenderly and the two exited the place as quickly as possible. He found Aberforth's whistling unnerving.
Sirius and Remus were sitting at the end of the Gryffindor table, looking anxiously at the doors to the Great Hall. Remus could feel Sirius's left leg bouncing against his own.
"How long does it take to piss?" Sirius asked, looking from the doorway to Remus.
"Should we go find him?"
"Let's go get the map. And where the fuck is Peter?"
When Sirius and Remus entered their dorm room, Sirius nearly flew to Prong's bed and hauled the mattress onto the floor.
"It's not here." he said frantically and let the bedding fall back into place.
Remus stood in the center of the room, tapping his finger on his chin as he spun in a circle, looking around. He strode to the pile of textbooks James had left piled up by the bathroom door last week and starting flipping through them all.
"Got it." he said quietly with a slow smile towards Padfoot. "I solemnly swear I am up to no good." He murmured, pointing his wand at the creased parchment.
Sirius watched him as he unfolded it and kneeled down beside him to study the corridors and classrooms with the werewolf.
"Can you see him?" Remus asked after three minutes of carefully combing the map.
"No. Have you found Peter?"
"Not yet. Wait! Look, third floor."
The names 'Peter Pettigrew' and 'James Potter' had suddenly appeared on the map.
"The secret tunnel." Sirius said, shaking his head. Remus watched his friend's long locks fly back and forth.
"Let's go." Sirius said, standing up.
He held his hand out to Remus who quickly said, "Mischief managed," and folded the map.
"We have a whole free period before Charms." Remus muttered. "Why don't we wait for them here that way they can't avoid answering anything because we're around other students?"
"Good idea, Moony." Sirius said with a brilliant smile. Remus dropped the map on James's bed and flopped down face first on his own. He'd spent all night thinking about the look on Fred's face when he had dashed from the room. His guilt hadn't let him get much sleep.
"Have you started the Herbology assignment?" Sirius asked him, studying his friend's form.
"Mhmm." Remus mumbled into his pillow. "You?"
"I'm about halfway through." Sirius lied. He was sitting on his own bed, laying on his stomach so he could continue to observe Remus.
"Liar." Remus snorted, kicking off his shoes and sinking deeper into his blankets.
"Moony I can't believe you're about to sleep away a free period!" Sirius said after there were a few quiet moments.
Remus turned his head and looked at his friend through one squinting amber eye.
"I was up patrolling last night." he reminded Sirius. He didn't seem to mind the way Sirius was staring as he sat up and pulled his jumper over his head.
"Who did Evans stick you with this time?" Sirius was mesmerized as Moony unbuttoned the first three buttons of his white shirt, allowing the sunlight to glint off an old scar on his collarbone.
"Ravenclaw, Penelope. She's really cool." Remus murmured.
"Is that why you were so late?" he drawled.
"I don't know what you mean." Remus said defensively, still sitting, but avoiding Sirius's eyes. He hadn't been late because of Penelope but he couldn't bring himself to talk about Fred again.
He had never spoken to any of the Marauders about his flings with other wizards before last night's late conversation with James. In fact, the only time he had ever kissed and told about it was in fifth year during a game of truth or dare when Peter had demanded to know the last person he had snogged. At that time the answer had been the former Gryffindor Quidditch Captain, who had given Remus a thorough celebratory snog after she had lead the team to victory against Slytherin.
"You weren't back when I left." Sirius said, hurling a pillow at him. Remus looked at him curiously, was Sirius going to admit to the weird behavior James and Peter had told him about last night?
"Got a bit distracted." Remus said, folding his hands and glancing towards Sirius. When he saw his friend's notorious smirk he felt his eyes go straight to the ceiling above his bed in what he felt was an innocent expression.
"And?" Sirius said curiously.
"And what?" Remus snapped, feeling uncomfortably warm out of embarrassment. It was one thing for him to list boys he thought were cute with Lily, and it was another to tell his best mate about what he and Fred had gotten up to in an abandoned classroom outside the Hufflepuff common room.
"Don't get so huffy, Rem. I'm just curious."
Remus didn't say anything at first and kept his eyes firmly away from Sirius.
"Nothing happened between Penelope and I." he said honestly.
"Who was it then? Come on, Moony...you can tell me! Pleeeease?"
Remus lasted a full fifteen seconds against Sirius's pleading puppy dog eyes.
"Fred."
"I thought you said it wasn't serious with him?"
"Just because it wasn't serious, Sirius," Remus swallowed heavily and closed his eyes before trying again. "Just because it wasn't serious that doesn't mean I didn't spend time with him."
"You're sleeping with him and it's not serious?"
"I never said I slept with him. You're just jumping to conclusions." Remus said defensively, although he couldn't figure out why he felt the need to lie to Sirius about that.
"I'm not stupid, Remus. I do know you're sleeping together."
"Well, I'm not anymore because he seemed just as confused by the concept of 'not serious' as you are right now." Remus crossed his arms and glared at Sirius.
"So you ended it?" Sirius asked, clearly feeling relieved.
Remus nodded stiffly.
"You slept with him in an old classroom, and then broke up with him?" Sirius hooted with laughter and slapped his leg. Remus looked sheepish.
"You bastard, probably broke the poor kid's heart." Sirius was still giggling with glee.
"It's not funny, Sirius. I feel awful." Remus flopped back on his bed. Sirius clambered off his own bed and dove next to Remus.
"Tell me, Rem," he began conversationally as he looked down at his shorter friend, arm bent at the elbow as he lay on his side. "Did he say 'I love you'?"
Remus shrugged his shoulders and bit his lip. He felt like shit, frankly, and Sirius's teasing wasn't helping.
"Has he said it before?" Sirius asked, cocking his head to one side. Remus didn't answer him and breathed out heavily. "Hello in there," Sirius said, slapping his friend's forehead, "I'm speaking to you, Mr. Werewolf!"
"Yes! Yes, okay. He's said it before and he said it again last night."
"Moons, I'm positively appalled that you'd lead him on like that!" Sirius's tone was joking but Remus knew that he was shocked.
"I can't believe I did it." Remus admitted, looking up briefly at Sirius and biting his lip. Sirius was staring at Remus's face as he spoke, but when he saw his friend's teeth pull his bottom lip and work it nervously, he found he couldn't take his eyes off Remus's mouth. Remus didn't seem to notice, so distraught was he by his new found wizard-izing ways.
"Why did you do it?" Sirius asked after he cleared his throat and dragged his eyes away from Remus's lovely mouth.
"I-," Remus said quietly, his cheeks turning as scarlet as his bed hangings. He looked a bit helpless and Sirius settled down to watch his friend squirm. There was almost nothing as amusing as an awkward Remus. "I hadn't planned on it." He started again, slowly. "But then things got out of hand and I'm sure you can figure out the details."
"Remus." Sirius said warningly.
"I was feeling like shit, Siri. Penelope was telling me what happened to her family this summer and then I was thinking about James's dad, and that little first year. And Fred was there and he was being comforting."
Sirius arched his eyebrow quite deliberately. He believed his friend, but couldn't resist annoying him at this point.
Remus sat up and turned away so he didn't have to look at Sirius. "He kissed me in the hall and then there was mutual dragging into a deserted classroom." Remus was too annoyed to feel guilty about fibbing the last bit.
Sirius found himself to be at a loss for words as he contemplated this image. He had been doing that a lot, ever since the train ride. Pictures of Remus and this shady Fred character would pop into his mind when he was least expecting it. Sirius had certainly always thought Remus to be a decent looking wizard, and he definitely appreciated the sight of his friend when he caught him stepping out of the shower (did that make him a pervert, he wondered briefly), but he had always been able to control his curiosities before now. He scowled at the idea of Fred helping Remus out of his clothes and realized he didn't really want any more details of the encounter.
The door burst open as James and Peter revealed themselves. There was an awkward silence in the dorm and Sirius sat up quickly, glaring at each of them.
"Out with it, then. Where the fuck have you two been?"
James glanced at Remus who met his gaze and crossed his arms expectantly.
"Um, actually," he backpedaled, grabbing the collar of Peter's robes, "I just remembered I have a meeting with Lily."
"Oi!" Sirius cried after the two as they disappeared down the staircase. "Prongs!"
"I'm going to head to charms." Remus said, equally abrupt as the other two Marauders.
"We've still got, like half an hour, mate." Sirius said as his eyebrows came together.
"Yeah, I want to re-read that chapter for today." Remus shrugged, fixing his school clothes.
"Remus, there are much better ways to spend thirty minutes then re-reading a textbook." Sirius warned his friend.
"I can't think of any at the moment." Remus challenged.
"I'm sure if Fred were here you could." Sirius asserted without pause or thought.
There was complete silence in the room and Remus froze with his jumper halfway over his head. Sirius didn't breathe and he found himself confounded by his own words. Remus looked at him once before he fled the room, pulling his sweater down with one hand and scooping his school bag up with the other.
"What. The. Fuck. Black." Sirius muttered to himself after Remus had shut the door.
Remus searched the common room, hoping that Lily wasn't spending her free period with Slughorn in the dungeons. He spotted her curled in his usual chair, Charms book open to today's chapter. He lunged over and grabbed her schoolbag in his own hand, whispering frantically, "We need to talk!"
"Alright, Remus." She said, marking her page and looking up at him. "Let's walk to class."
"Lily I don't know what the hell he's playing at. He just keep saying these things and I try not to make a big deal out of it...And where were you last night? And at lunch? I've been trying to talk to you!" Remus said, launching quite nicely into the middle of his problem without explaining anything.
"What are you on about, Remus?" Lily was pulling her hair back into a braid. The two ducked into a quiet alcove.
"Sirius." he said quickly, and Lily noticed there was a sad tone of defeat there.
"What's he done?" She demanded harshly.
"He just...He keeps saying weird things and touching me randomly, not like he used to, and he keeps asking about bloody Fred Wintringham. It's driving me mad. One minute I feel like he's putting out these vibes and the next minute he's as cold as, I don't know, something frozen."
"Something frozen?" Lily snorted.
"The giant squid in winter?"
"Right, come on, I want to get a seat up front today." Lily said glancing at her watch and pulling Remus by the elbow.
The two were halfway to Charms and the hallways were becoming more crowded, Remus turned to Lily and looked at her with large confused puppy eyes.
"Lils, you've said it too. There's something happening there, but it's driving me mad."
"What's driving you mad, Moony?" came a voice in front of them. Lily and Remus looked up to see James standing next to Peter, watching them with great interest.
"You and Peter disappearing all afternoon." Remus reprimanded.
"Yeah, Potter. He's been dragging me around the castle looking everywhere for you two." Lily crossed her arms and glared first at James, then Peter.
"Alright, everyone, into the classroom now! We've got quite a bit to cover today." Their charms professor, an unfortunate looking middle-aged wizard ushered them all into class.
Remus dashed to sit next to Lily, ignoring Sirius when he came in late. When the professor's back was turned he heard James and Sirius whispering furiously behind them.
A few moments later a folded bird floated down to Remus and Lily's desk. Remus went to reach for it, assuming it was a note from James, but Lily put her hand over the parchment first.
"It's for me." she whispered quickly. She showed him the large curving 'L' that James had written on the corner.
Lily quickly read the note and then flattened it out on the desk so that Remus could also read it.
Lils,
Sirius is faking innocence and pretending he doesn't know what I'm on about. But he's been staring at the back of our Remus's head for the whole period. Drastic measures may have become necessary.
-J
Remus snatched the parchment and crossed out everything James had written. Underneath it he scribbled,
Prongs,
Where were you?
-R
Lily ignored him as he folded the paper once more and sent it floating two rows back to where James and Sirius sat.
After waiting ten minutes for James to send the note back, Remus turned around to glare at his friends. James pretended not to notice him and 'took notes' periodically ducking his head and glaring intensely at his parchment (upon which he had written approximately five sentences). Sirius gave Remus a tentative smile, which the werewolf returned. If James wasn't going to crack then Remus would just have to corner Pete after class.
Peter, however, had other plans for his evening which did not include being gently interrogated by his lovely friend, Remus Lupin. He himself had spent the double Charms period also passing notes, with his mildly attractive Hufflepuff girlfriend whose name is rather unfortunate, but her personality certainly makes up for it.
Berthilde and Peter were quietly giggling in the back corner and staring gooily into each others eyes. Sirius couldn't bring himself to turn around. He could hear the two of them and he knew the sight would be enough to make him dry-heave. Out of disgust, of course, not jealousy.
The happy couple's kitchen-raid planning was interrupted by a note from Remus.
Peter,
Meet 20 minutes after class in the courtyard under the clock. Business as usual.
-R
Peter hid the note from Berthilde (who wasn't looking anyway, she was busy running her fingers through Peter's fluffy blonde hair) and sighed heavily. Cream puff pastries would have to wait until after Marauder business.
"Where are the other's?" Peter asked when he found Remus seated under a dingy archway.
"Sit down, Peter." Remus said comfortably.
"They're always late." Peter said with a dramatic huff as he settled himself on the cold stone. He frowned in concentration as he cast a mild warming charm on the slabs underneath himself and Remus.
"Thanks, Pete." Remus said brightly. He remembered helping Peter with that charm in fifth year. It had caused the other wizard quite a bit of trouble.
The two sat in silence and studied their fellow students around the courtyard.
"I've got a question for you, Peter. Well, it's more of a mystery and I think you'll be able to help me figure it out."
"Doubt it, but go ahead." Peter said glumly. He was missing Berthilde and if James and Sirius were any more late he wouldn't have time to visit the kitchens before dinner.
"Well, two of my best mates weren't at lunch today. And I think they lied to me about it."
Peter looked at the moss-covered stone under his trainers made a bizarre "hmph" noise that Remus had come to associate with moments of great mental strain.
"Peter, I just want to make sure James is okay. You know how he's been acting lately and I'm worried about him."
"James was fine." Peter said swiftly, hoping if he kept his answers vague he could keep Remus tiptoeing around it until the other Marauders showed up and saved him.
"So he wasn't upset or anything?"
"No, he seemed quite pleased, actually." Peter said, stuffing his hands in his robe pockets.
"Do you know what made him so happy?" Remus prodded.
"You'll have to ask him, I guess. I was just along for the ride."
"You're observant, Wormtail. I'm sure you have some idea as to what he was so pleased about."
Peter glanced at his watch, then at his friend who was smiling gently.
"There's no Marauder business, is there?" he asked Remus.
"Finding out where you and James went is Marauder business." Remus said challengingly.
"I don't think I'm supposed to say, Remus." Peter said standing up. Remus jumped up quickly and followed the shorter boy as he walked across the courtyard.
"Peter, when have we ever kept secrets from each other? Just mine, and look how much better it is now. Things are getting too dangerous, Pete. I think we all need to know what's going on with James."
Peter stopped and turned when Remus grabbed his shoulder. He sucked in his cheeks and looked at the sky critically.
"I don't want you to be mad at me," he said finally.
"I won't be mad at you, Peter." Remus could feel his pulse quicken and his grip tightened on Peter's shoulder. What was going on here that made Peter think he would be mad?
"He took me to meet an auror."
"That's it? You guys snuck out to meet an auror?" Remus felt slightly disappointed. "Was it just about training?"
"Well, no. James was asking him for 'news' and stuff. And Kingsley gave us this book and some letter we're supposed to deliver to someone. We had to disguise ourselves and he called me Rumpert."
"Peter. Please, please, please tell me James is not already involving himself in the Order."
"I think he's been involved, mate." Peter said softly.
"Petey! Oh Petey, love!" Berthilde made her timely entrance just as Wormtail really was beginning to get desperate for those custard cakes.
"Look, I've got to go, Remus. Maybe you should talk to James? I don't know anything else. Here's the letter we're supposed to deliver, give it to him for me, will you?"
"Yeah, thanks, Peter. Have fun with Berthilde."
"Thanks, mate." Peter said with a large smile. Then he was trotting off to kiss his girlfriend and drag her to the kitchens.
Remus stuffed the parchment in his school bag and hurried to meet Lily in the library.
Sirius had the Marauder's Map tucked discreetly into Remus's Arithmancy textbook (he had misplaced his own last week) and was carefully making his way down the fifth floor staircase in his search for Remus.
"There you are, Moony." Sirius whispered quietly to himself.
"Black, I think you're losing your mind." A snippy voice said from behind him. "Remus is not inside of a textbook."
"Shows what you know, Evans." Sirius said, slamming the book shut.
"If you're looking for Remus he's going to the library now. We are going to work on that supplemental essay for Herbology." Lily threw over her shoulder as she bounded down the steps.
"Excellent. I need to finish my essay and don't have my book with me." Sirius cried, struggling to catch up to Lily.
"You have to be quiet if you want to sit with us." Lily informed him as she halted in front of the thick library doors.
"Yes, yes, Evans. I'm aware of how nerdy you two are and I genuinely have to finish my essay."
"Fine."
Sirius scanned all the work tables for his friend and was disappointed when he realized he wasn't there.
"Sit down, Black." Lily whispered when they reached one of the larger circular tables in a corner under the window. It was in fact, one of the best work stations in the library and Sirius was amazed no scrawny first year had snagged it yet.
"Where's Remus?" Sirius asked as he threw his bag down on the chair.
"He'll be here soon, I guess. This is where we always sit." Lily already had her textbook, color-coded notes, and fresh parchment on the desk. She was digging for a fresh ink well when Remus suddenly appeared behind him.
"Hey, Pads. Lily, I spoke with Peter. Did you talk to James?" Remus set his own bag down on the floor and moved Sirius's so he could sit down in his favorite spot.
"Hey! I was sitting there!" Sirius cried, earning glares from every student in the library (even those who were rummaging for books in the stacks poked their heads out from between the shelves to fix Sirius with the evil eye).
"Sirius, this is my seat. When you've spent as much time here as I have, then you can claim ownership. Until then, pull up another chair and hush." As Remus was quietly reprimanding Sirius he placed an unmarked envelope on the desk between himself and Lily. Sirius huffed loudly (more glares) and dragged another chair over to sit between Remus and Lily.
"Peter said that he gave the two of them this letter to deliver." Remus was whispering so quietly that Lily had leaned all the way across the table and tilted her head down so that her ear was as close as possible to Remus's mouth.
"I tried to ask James, but he was really vague. Got a bit rude about it too." Lily said, flipping the envelope over.
"The thing is, it's not marked. I'm not sure how he expected them to deliver it." Remus said, pulling out his notes for Herbology.
"What's going on?" Sirius asked the two of them.
"We're trying to find out where James and Peter went at lunch. And Peter just gave me this letter..."
"They went to meet Kingsley." Sirius said quickly, looking between the two of them.
"Yes, I know that now." Remus announced while flipping to the correct chapter in his book.
"Does this mean James is working for them already?" Lily asked. Sirius thought she sounded a bit jealous.
"I don't know." Remus said just as Sirius cut in with, "No, no, no."
The two looked at Sirius and waited for him to explain.
"Well, its not official. Mrs. Potter and Dumbledore would both kill James if he was doing anything more than running messages."
"But connecting himself with them is still dangerous!" Lily practically squeaked.
"Evans, love, living is dangerous right now." Sirius said cheekily.
"True." Remus said with a nod. "But why didn't he tell us?"
"He's just following instructions." Sirius shrugged. "I haven't been able to go with him yet. Apparently just Peter."
"Well who's this letter going to?" Lily demanded, waving the parchment in front of Sirius's face.
"Same person as always, I'd assume." Sirius said shrugging.
"And who's that?" Remus asked. Sirius could tell his friend was trying very hard to hide his excitement.
"Dumbledore of course."
"Dumbledore's the most powerful wizard of our time. He doesn't need hand-written letters delivered by James Potter." Lily scoffed.
"There are some things you can't send by owl post anymore, some people he can't be seen talking to, places he can't be seen in...I think these letters are maps or reports or lists." Sirius grabbed the heavy paper from Lily's hand and turned it over and over in his long fingers.
"Sirius is right, Lils." Remus said gently. His excitement was already gone. His head was buried in his notes (not as neat as Lily's).
"Well this was a disappointing mystery." Lily said with a heavy sigh.
"Why don't you bring it to Dumbledore, then?" Sirius asked her.
"What?"
"You should bring it to him. Tell James you two have to meet Dumbledore for Head business, then instead just deliver the letter while James is in the room. Then maybe you'll get to be a part of it too."
"Wouldn't James get mad?" she asked.
"Probably not." Remus said as he ran the top of his quill along his chin. "If you two are going to keep talking can you move? I want to finish this essay tonight."
Lily stowed the letter in her bag and turned to her own work.
"Moony can I borrow your book?" Sirius asked with a sweet smile.
"There are extras on the shelves, Sirius."
"Please, Rem?"
"I'm using my book, Sirius. Go look for your own."
"You can be so cruel." Sirius said, shoving back from the table.
"I'm not being cruel." Remus said with a smirk.
"What's this stupid book even called?" Sirius snatched Remus's book off the table and read the title aloud:
"An Intense Study of Temperamental Magical Plants: Fungi, Flowers, Shrubbery, etc."
As soon as Sirius wandered to the librarian to ask for help finding the book, Lily looked up.
"Well?" she asked coyly.
"What, Lily?"
"You were freaking out earlier about him and now you're being creepily calm." She said with a sharp kick to his shin under the table.
"Because I realized we're just friends." Remus said grumpily, rubbing his sore leg.
"Wow." She responded, shaking her head. "You are so full of shit."
"Except that I'm not." Remus said.
Sirius returned at that moment with a tattered copy of their Herbology book.
"You're not what?"
"Nothing, Pads." Remus said, unable to come up with a convincing lie as he looked up into his friend's handsome face. Not, that the handsomeness of Sirius was befuddling, Remus would argue.
A/N: Well, here's chapter 4. I know it feels like not much is happening...but we'll get there eventually! Thanks for everyone who has reviewed/favorited/followed.