AN: This one hurts but at the same time, I'm proud of her. Hold on tight guys. -Lanie x

Since her run in with Jax and Opie, Tara has avoided them entirely. Smiles between the two friends are often shared but that's as far as communication goes. The last thing she wanted was for Jax to think that they were doing something to get back at him for what he did to her. Tara doesn't believe in an eye for an eye sort of thing. She knew what it felt like to get hurt so she knew not to do that to him. Hurting him was not a part of her plan. That wasn't something she wanted him to feel. Though, she supposed that she is already causing him to feel that way by shutting him out.

If anyone thought that it was easy for her to do so, they would be wrong. Not talking to him, hugging, kissing, touching him in general pained her almost as much as his betrayal did. As much as she wanted to do all of that, she had to make herself believe that it wouldn't happen again; she needed to teach herself to trust him before she could let him back in…if she could at all.

As numb as she could she went through the motions of the school day. Alone. During lunch she hides in the library or goes and helps one of her teachers with whatever. As long as she didn't have to face sitting and eating alone in a crowd of people. By the end of the day she'd end up at the park doing her homework.

Sitting at one of the tables, she held the pencil in her hand as she pressed it to the paper over and over. The wind kept trying to blow her papers up, which was only pulling a soft laugh from her throat. Something she hadn't been doing too often lately. Placing the pencil down, she looked around the park. Loose pieces of hair blew into her face making her reach up to brush them away. Turning back to her work, she jumped when she noticed something sitting across from her.

"Holy shit, you can't just sneak up on me like that." Her heart was racing.

"Sorry I didn't mean to scare you."

"That's where a clear of the throat or 'hi Tara' would have come with in handy." Her eyes narrowed into a glare.

He chuckled. "Okay, maybe you're right."

"I am right," she replied smugly. "What do you want anyways, David?"

"Can I not just want to talk to a pretty girl." His brow arched.

"Oh look at that, your motive."

"You know that I like you."

"Yeah, you know I have a boyfriend."

"Do you though?"

"Yes, Jax and I are still together."

"You don't look much like a couple these days."

Tara shrugged her answer; she knows what everyone thinks about them lately.

"Why isn't he even here?" He pried or tried.

"He's with the club." Her answer was half of the truth, she wasn't about to tell him that they were on a run. Tara only knew that herself because she saw several of them heading out of town earlier.

"Does he care more about that than you?"

"He loves them. They're his family. Been there for him his entire life. Of course they are more important."

"You're the girl he loves though."

Tara tried to keep her breathing even, despite the fact he was pissing her off. "He's never said those words before."

"How sad, how could he not love a girl like you, Tara."

"David…I understand that you like me but you're borderline creepy."

"Sorry I guess I just don't know how to act around you." He shrugged and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Prying into my relationship isn't the way to earn my friendship.''

"Can two friends go out of valentine's day?"

"If one of them wasn't dating Jax Teller, it's possible."

"So no."

"Yeah, no."

"Okay well I'm just going to go."

"Bye David."

He waved and took off. Everyone knew that David was cocky and could get nearly any girl that he wanted. So she was sure that his pride was hurting right now because of her denial. Taking a look at her homework, she shook her head and started to pack it all up. Tara was in no mood to work on it anymore. She was almost done anyways. All that she had to finish was her project with Ima and they were meeting up tomorrow to put the finishing touches on it.

Putting one arm after the other into the slots of her backpack, she started off to her house. The walk was a rather short one. It took longer for her to walk to the park from the school then it did to walk home from the park. She knew that her Dad was probably going to be drinking when she got home, there was hope that he wouldn't be there though.

Luckily for her when she got home the cutlass was in the driveway put he wasn't in the house. Silently she praised Darrell for picking him up after he got off of work. Tara traveled to the back room and looked through all of her hiding spots and pulled the cash from each of them. Anna had been right. It was time for a change but not the one that she had tried to make her pull off. This had to be all her and what she liked to wear. Sitting on her bed, she counted through the money and only grabbed half of it.

Tara drove to one of the stores in Charming. As she parked she saw Gemma getting out of her own car, she almost wanted to hide but she couldn't be afraid of her. That's what she wanted from her. Slamming the car door, she locked it behind her and started to the store. Gemma looked her way, and Tara gave her a bit of a smile but kept going. The upper hand would be hers.

Her style needed to be different than what it used to be. Looking through skirts and dresses she picked out a few as well as some tighter pants than she was used to. Trying the items on she looked in the mirror and smiled at her reflection. She liked the way she looked. It was more girly than ever. But she sorta loved it. It was sexy and girly and it made her look better. There was no way, Ima or Anna would make fun of her clothes anymore. Sometimes spoiling yourself is for the best. Going to the register she purchased all that she could.

Once again Gemma was leaning against her car. Tara was really starting to hate these meet ups. Going to the driver's side she opened the door and put the bags into the car.

"Can I help you?"

"What's going on with you and my son." Her voice was cold, Tara let out a sigh.

"I wasn't good enough. Just like you said." Not wanting to take anymore shit from her she got into the car and started to drive away.

…

The next morning she got up and put on her new clothes. She loved wearing dress and boots, might be her favorite look. It was hard not to feel more confident in herself. This was the best decision she's made. When she got to school she was getting looks from others but this time she was proud of it. She didn't feel exposed and self-conscious. When Jax saw her, he bit his lip. The fact this was affecting him made her happy. Rub it in his face that he lost her—was losing her.

"Hey..." Anna approached her.

"Hi." Her voice was hostile much like Gemma's from the previous day.

"You look good."

"It's amazing what finding out your best friend is a backstabbing bitch does."

"Tara…" She trailed off as Tara rolled her eyes.

"Save it. Nothing you can say will fix this. I did all of this for me. Not because of you."

"So is this it then?"

"Yeah, I'm done having you push me around."

"I never wa—"

"Your apology means nothing." With that Tara walked away, content with how things had ended. As she passed Jax again, he gave her an apologetic look. It was almost enough for her to run into his arms. Almost.

She got compliments throughout the day. If she had known that she would get this type of attention she would have done this a long time ago. Going through the motions of the day was something that she had gotten good at. As she was about to leave, Opie caught up with her.

"So I miss you."

"I miss you to Tar."

"How is he? Really?"

"He's a mess. He almost got the club shot at the other night. Surprised Clay didn't beat him to death."

"He doesn't understand though does he?"

"No, Jax thinks you should just forgive him because he admitted it was a mistake."

"I need him to feel how hurt I am. How I can't trust him."

"It's not a good idea to string him along, ya know?"

"I love him, Op."

"Then forgive him."

"It's not that easy..." Tara looked down as the tears well up in her eyes.

"Maybe it's time to break up."

"I have to go."

Which she did, she was going to be late to meet Ima if she was too much longer. When she got to the library, she walked to Ima. Dropping her stuff to the table, she sat down.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, great."

"Jax stuff?"

"Yeah." This wasn't something she wanted to be talking about with her.

"I wouldn't trust him if I were you."

"Yeah?"

"He had sex with your best friend. There is no bigger betrayal." That was true, so true.

"I guess you're right about that. I just care so much."

"Sometimes it's not enough."

"I need to break up with him, don't I?"

"I can't tell you what to do, but I would if I were you."

"I have a lot to think about.. We'd both be happier if we weren't doing whatever it is we're doing now."

The girls finished the project without talking about Jax anymore. By the time it was ready to go home, she had made up her mind. She knew what she needed to do. As much as it was going to hurt, it's what needed to be done. Grabbing the phone she walked into her room.

…

"I thought I'd never see your number again."

"This..Jax.."

"This isn't a good call is it?"

"No. I think it's time to break up." Her voice cracked and the tears swell up.

"Tara, please don't do this."

"It's not fair for me to push you away why I figure out if I can forgive you."

"I'll wait as long as I need as long as I don't lose you."

"It's not that simple. What if I can't…I…It hurts to think about."

"Tara, I love you." He sounded as if he let out a sob."

"I love you too, Jackson.." With that she hung up the phone and curled into a ball and let all of the tears fall. The phone started to ring and that made her cry harder. First love hurt. Tara loved him with everything she was. But there was no way to know if he wasn't fucking some chick since they've been together. Of course she didn't believe that he had been. Those thoughts filled her mind and she couldn't get rid of them. It made it impossible to give herself to him again.

…

David was close enough to Jax and Opie that he was going to be able to hear. Now was the time to do.

"So, I thought about what we talked about and yeah, we can go out on Valentine's Day...well I guess today." His face lit up in a smile and she was almost felt bad that she was using him. She did tell him that they were friends though. For the first time in her life she's going out on Valentine's Day and it wasn't even with her boyfriend. Turning to walk away, she caught Jax's eyes. Emotions were running through them, anger, sadness.