Chapter Six

I laid in my bed staring out at the window into the darkness, I didn't move from my spot on the bed since I got home from my therapy session. I had told everyone else to leave me alone and they listened. They didn't knock on my door trying to talk to me which was exactly what I wanted. I didn't want to talk to anybody. I didn't think therapy would be like that, that intense and scary. I preferred not to deal with these emotions at all. It was better that they stayed untouched.

"Renessmee" I heard one of the guys yell down the hall, oh no! I knew that voice Mathew was one of the annoying kids in my math class; I don't even know how someone of his intelligence got into calculus! I walked faster and faster as I heard his footsteps get closer and closer. I turned the corner and ran directly into a wall, "damn it!" I cursed and turned around to see a group of 6 foot something guys standing there.

"Hey guys" Mathew spoke, "want to know how to spell ugly? R-E-N-E-S-S-M-E-E"

I looked down to the ground, blushing as all the guys laughed and I pushed past them as I felt the tears well in my eyes

I gasped as I came out of my flashback, a feeling of shame welling inside of me but before I had time to recover another flashback came and hit.

I opened the door to my locker; it was one of my least favorite days- Valentine's Day. I didn't hate it because I was single but I hated it because Mathew and his friends always pulled a prank on me and as I walked to first period I walked past a bulletin board that several people were gathered at. I pushed my way to the front to see what the big deal was about and quickly found out. There was an edited picture of me that was put onto the body of sumo wrestler and to the side it read '$1 to sleep with this ugly cow so if you are desperate and want a quick lay call…' followed by a random phone number. I heard the laughter shortly after and I ran off campus after that.

The memory stabbed me in the gut again, and tears began falling. I was fat and ugly, who was I kidding. I'm born into a family of gorgeous people but I stick out because I'm the ugly one, the one no one is attracted to. As the hour passed and I kept thinking about this in my head, the feeling I know all too well built inside of me and I began to let the sobs run through my body for another two hours before it became too much and I ran to the bathroom, opening the cabinet and pulling out my make-up kit opening it up to the last drawer where what looked like a compact really help a blade and as I opened the box I felt a set of cold hands wrap around me.

"No" I screamed, "please, let me cut myself! Please!" I begged, "Please let me kill myself! Please! I hate myself! Just let me kill myself!" I heard a voice trying to calm me down but I didn't register whose voice it was because all I could think about was cutting myself and getting to that razor. I cried, pushed, shoved and screamed against the arms that held me until I finally gave up letting the cries consume me once again. I sagged towards the floor in exhaustion, the only think holding me up are the arms. I felt myself being lifted from the ground as someone held me to their chest and as I cried into their shirt I could tell it was my dad because of the smell, he just smelled like a dad. With one hand he pulled back my covers and put me on top of the sheets quickly getting in next to me and he threw the blanket over us and I just cried while my dad shushed and whispered words of love to me until finally the sleep took over my body and I gave in gladly.

The sun was beaming into my room the next morning and I pulled the covers against it to shield it from my sight until it settled in that today was Thursday. I had school; I sat up in bed looking at my alarm clock, 8:45! Damn it! I missed the first hour and a half of class! I pulled on anything my hand landed on while pulling my hair into a bun and making my way down the steps. Walking past the living room and to the kitchen but then I realized something. I walked back into the living room to see my dad and Carlisle there.

"Why didn't any one wake me up for school?" I said.

Carlisle looked away from his newspaper and said "did you forget that you don't go to school when it's sunny out so it doesn't look suspicious that you're the only Cullen there?"

I sighed and leaned against the wall, pinching the bridge of my nose, "I forgot….I'm sorry"

Carlisle raised his brow, "what are you sorry for?"

"I don't know" I answered honestly, "consider it pre-paid- I'll probably mess up somehow, I always do" I went up the steps and began going up when Carlisle was in front of me in an instant. "Renessmee, why are you so unfocused?"

"It's no big deal, just an off day" I tried being nonchalant

"Aren't you going to have breakfast?" Carlisle questioned further

"No" I said starting to panic internally, "I'm not hungry, I'll eat lunch later. I promise" and with that he let me go upstairs. I think Carlisle was starting to notice my lack of energy which was bad! I had to pull myself together and start acting normal again!

As I closed the door to my room I went and sat down at my desk. I had an AP history test to study for tomorrow. I began reading through the textbook and taking notes but my focus was nowhere to be found. I couldn't comprehend what the words meant. After 30 minutes of failing to comprehend the words I went to the bathroom and washed my face with cold water. I dried my face and all of a sudden an awful wave of nausea hit me and not a second after that was it when I felt the overwhelming power of dizziness. I put my hands forward to catch me running into stuff and hitting my head on the mirror. It was black after that and it was peaceful, I didn't want to leave this place but then I heard my name being called from a distance. I turned my head and that hurt, why?

"Renessmee, can you hear me?" I heard a voice call. I wanted to answer it but I couldn't find the strength to. It was easier to just stay in the darkness.

Carlisle's Point of view

It seemed to me like Renessmee was lacking in sleep, normally patients who come in with lack of sleep and dehydration are there because they fainted and I wanted to avoid that same fate for Nessie. I knew she was putting up a facade so that she didn't have to show me how tired she was but I knew she was tired. She needed to sleep more but she was always up till the wee hours of the morning studying, she also panicked when he grades got anywhere near a C and even if she had a B, she panicked when it was a B. I decided to go talk to her when I heard a boom from upstairs, it sounded Renessmee dropped something and then I heard a heavy thump. I ran upstairs breaking the lock to the door and finding Nessie on the bathroom floor. I ran to her, my diagnostic skills picking up.

"Renessmee?" I question while taking her pulse, "Renessmee? Can you hear me sweetheart?" she moved her head but didn't come around. I picked her up and brought her to my office, getting an IV out and some other supplies I might need.

"Nessie? Can you hear me?" her eyes opened slightly and she mumbled a few words but I couldn't understand her. I quickly found a vein and inserted the needle, hanging the fluid bag on a post. I looked at her face and noticed a small drop of something, it wouldn't have been detectable to the human eye but with my vampire sight I was to point it out. I ran my finger along the under lid of her eyes and found that my finger was stained with a substance of some sort. I rubbed it between my fingers and took a whiff of it, concealer. I quickly went to the bathroom and returned with a wash cloth taking off the gunk from under Nessie's eyes. Once I was done I was able to clearly see the dark circles under her eyes, I knew she wasn't getting any sleep and she was hiding it with concealer. I needed to have a serious talk with her when she woke up, what she was doing was very unhealthy!

Author's note: So I know this chapter has been delayed a LONG time but I have not abandoned it! As many of you have asked, I was planning on updating this week and the reason I have taken so long to update is because I am swamped at school with AP classes that I'm taking and projects so I haven't had as much time as I'd like to dedicate to writing. Another thing I wanted to address is that I only had 1, maybe 2 reviews for the last chapter :( and speaking of reviews I know the last preview I sent you small few are not in this chapter and that's because I decided to change the direction of this chapter. So as always leave me a review and I will send you a preview of the next chapter and this time I promise it'll be in the chapter ;) and REVIEW QUESTION: What do you think about Nessie and her problems? How do you think Emmett, Rose, Alice and Jasper would say if Nessie and they had a one-on-one conversation? How about Edward and Bella? And finally, what would YOU like to see in the next chapter?

P.S. answers to these questions will depend on what I write in upcoming chapters so please review and answer them :)