Disclaimer: You know, it's chapter five. You should know it by now.
AN: This pairing was taken from Gamma's femmslash drabble tag.
Which is the greater curse? To be the one who's killed or to be the one who survives?
When Su Li first heard that particular question, she almost snorted with contempt. The living could go on, they could find fresh hope, love, laugh and everything that came with it. How could it be worse than to be killed stone cold dead after all?
Then she fell in love.
Everything about their relationship was wrong (so wrong) and went against everything she was taught a real relationship should be and…
And she really didn't care in the slightest.
Her lover was precisely the wrong person in so many ways. Had they been open, the wizarding world would have condemned them. Good witches were supposed to find husbands (Not wives. Never wives), have little wizarding children (Biologically impossible, even with magic) and remain loyal to their husbands no matter what. (She was MARRIED to one of the oldest wizarding families in Europe!)
Su Li didn't care in the slightest.
More accurately, she didn't care because her lover didn't care. So what if her lover was a witch? (A beautiful, older witch) and so what if they couldn't have children? (Her lover already had one of those. He was in her year at Hogwarts. It was how they first met!) And frankly, her husband was long dead. It wasn't like he was still around to object (although Su Li wasn't sure that would have stopped her.)
Then came the Battle of Hogwarts and Su Li had almost died. She would have done, had her lover Lily not intervened and taken the curse for her and died while Su Li had been unable to save herself.
Suddenly that old wizarding question made sense in a way that it never had before. Unable to openly grieve, she shed many tears and entered a trance-like state. She lived and carried on, but inside her heart and soul broke. She even put her wand against her head, for surely death was better than such pain?
She left flowers at Lily's grave and walked away. She was not going to die, not yet and not today. She would not dishonour Lily's sacrifice. One day she would see her again, she promised herself. One day.