Chapter Nine

Carlisle's Point of View

I was sitting at my desk looking over patient files, paperwork honestly bored me to death but it had to be done one way or another. I was interrupted from my work when Bella walked in. I smiled seeing my newest daughter-in-law at the door.

"Hello Bella, what can I do for you today?"

She smiled shyly, "I hope I wasn't interrupting anything important" noticing the paperwork on the desk.

"No, not at all, please have a seat" I said motioning to the chair in front of me. She followed my instructions taking a seat and I knew she was thinking about something so I waited for her to begin.

"Carlisle…today Logan brought us into his office after Renessmee's session and he told us something that made me nervous" I waited for her to continue, "he told us that Renessmee was having suicidal thoughts" I heard her struggle to say the sentence but that was after the shock wore off. I don't think Renessmee's problem is just about the bullies but I think she has a bully inside her head. One that is just as worse as the ones at school.

"I understand your distress Bella but we will get through this, I promise." I grabbed her hand in support, "I don't want to lose her Carlisle!" Bella lost it and began to sob openly and I went around the desk and put my arms around her. "Why did I become such a bad mother?"

"Isabella Cullen!" a voice that was not mine spoke from the door, we both turned to the door to see Edward standing there and Bella immediately took deep breaths to clear her voice and I saw how she put a mask on to hide any signs that she was upset.

"Edward! I…I just was overwhelmed with emotions but I'm fine now" she said turning to him.

"Bella, Love, please don't lie! I heard you outside say you were a bad mother, I heard you breaking down in front of Carlisle. Please…talk to me…"

I didn't want to interrupt anything between these two, "I'll go check on Nessie" I said leaving while closing the door behind me.

Bella's Point of View

"Bella, come, sit" Edward was pulling me over to a couch in Carlisle's office. He pulled me down on his lap and wrapped his hand around my waist willing me to lay my head on his shoulder.

"Talk to me, Beautiful. What's the matter?"

I didn't say anything, not wanting my armor to fall. "There's nothing to say Edward. I told you, I'm fine. It was just an over reactive comment."

He pulled my chin up to look at him, he smiled as his hand brushed my cheek, "Love, talk to me…it hurts me to know you are hiding your feelings from me" he said, pain lacing his voice.

I looked down at my hands and said, "I just…feel like an awful mother…how could I not have noticed my daughter hurting so much! When did I become so bad at this? I'm such a bad mom and wife" my voice cracked at the end.

"Isabella Marie Cullen" Edward said gently taking my chin in his hand, "our daughter is a miracle! She is perfect and you and I may see it that way but she doesn't. We will get through this- I promise! And you are the perfect mother and wife to me! I wouldn't have it any other way!"

I smiled at him and he spoke, "there it is- that beautiful spark in your beautiful amber eyes!"

Nessie's Point of View

I didn't want to move from my bed. It's literally what I've been doing all day since Thursday. I haven't come out from my room to eat or even talk to anyone. I hated myself; the burning sensation in my wrist was evidence of that. It was all because of that paper- my report card! My history teacher gave me a D! I wanted to cry when it was passed out to me and when I went to talk to him about it he said that he was very disappointed in me for getting a C on his midterm and that I had earned my grade because I didn't study enough! He was right of course, it wasn't that he had a reputation for making girls lives a living hell even though that's what everyone told me it was. He was a sexiest asshole who lived to make every one of his female students a living hell! I left to the bathroom after talking to him and shut the stall door pulling out my compass and getting to work. I covered my mouth to muffle the sobs and cut until I felt better. My parents wouldn't want me anymore after they saw this report card! I would be a failure! I would be the disappointment child! The thought made me sob again! I shoved my head into my pillow! I just want to die! Then I remembered that today was Sunday! I had to go to school tomorrow and I really didn't want to! It would just be a reminder! There was a knock on my door, I didn't answer for anyone to come in but I heard the door open then shut and the bed sink down.

"Renessmee, sweet girl…" I recognized my mom's voice.

I kept my back turned to her stayed underneath my sheet; she was probably disgusted to look at me! "Nessie, talk to me please…what happened on Thursday? Or if you don't want to talk to me, then call Logan!"

Logan would be worse! I couldn't tell him! I wouldn't! I didn't want to go back to Logan's office. I heard my mother sigh and kiss the top of my head through my sheets! It hurt me that she still loved me but that was because she didn't know about the D. Gosh! Renessmee! Why are you so stupid!

By the time Monday morning came around, I didn't want to go to school! My dad walked in to my room while I was hyperventilating! The thought scared me so much that I went in to a fit of panic!

"Nessie, look at me, beautiful girl" my dad's voice spoke, I looked into his amber eyes and pointed to my throat! "I know honey but you need to calm down! Relax! Look, follow me" he put my hand on his chest and so I could match his rhythm but it was impossible! Carlisle walked in and he was holding an injection! That made me hyperventilate more- I was in a panic! My dad held me down gently while Carlisle injected the medication into the fleshy part of my waist. Soon I was floating and I felt at ease.

When I woke, sunlight blinded me and Jasper was at my desk chair, reading book. He looked up and smiled at me. "How are you feeling, Ness?"

"Fine" I said stretching and then I caught sight of the paper on my nightstand and I remembered what caused this whole dilemma! I sank back into my bed, feeling depressed again!

"Renessmee, what is making you so upset?"

"Nothing, uncle Jasper…I don't want to talk about it!"

"Well, you can talk about it with Logan in a few hours. Your dad made an emergency appointment!"

"What?!" I said shooting up in bed, "no! I am not going! No!" I began yelling before a sense of calm washed over me!

"I'm sorry Nessie, but you have no choice" my dad spoke from the door.

"Why are you doing? I don't want to go to Logan's office! No! No! No!" I said furious but I couldn't yell as much as I intended to because Jasper kept forcing me to calm down. My dad had worried eyes and he walked over, "Nessie, why are you so against seeing Logan? What is it that you are avoiding?"

"I'm not avoiding anything! I just don't want to go to Logan's office"

He sighed, "Fine, Renessmee. I won't make you go to Logan's office." I looked at him to see if he was serious and he was! Jasper looked at Edward confused and they both left the room. I got away this time but I didn't know how much longer I could escape from my appointments. I laid in my bed, pulling the covers over my head and drifting to sleep. It felt too soon when the door knocked and I heard my dad talk, "Nessie, someone is here to see you!"

"I don't want to talk to anyone right now!" I said from beneath my covers.

"Well, it's a shame I wasted the ride up here" another voice spoke, I knew that voice! I pulled my covers off and saw Logan standing there, his brief case in hand!

"Ugh! Why are you here?" I said annoyed!

"Well, you said you didn't want to go to Logan's office so I brought Logan here" my dad said before closing the door and leaving Logan and I alone. He walked over to a chair and sat down.

"What's the matter Renessmee?" he asked me.

I thought he wouldn't be able to analyze anything if I didn't say anything so I stayed silent. "Nessie, what happened on Thursday?" he asked again and I just stared at my hands, not saying a word. We stay like that for 20 minutes before he sighed and said, "I can see, that you aren't ready to talk and in which case- I can't make you so I'll just be on my way. Call me when you are ready to talk' he said calmly.

With that he left out the door without another word. That was easier than I thought it would be? I shrugged it off as he walked out the door. I spent a week, off from school. Under my covers and in my room, not leaving for any reason, my family learned to leave me alone and didn't ask me to talk any more. The following Monday came and I went to school but didn't pay attention to any of my lessons and didn't even study for tests. I went home and just stayed in my room. I was a failure and I wasn't going to try and change it! I was meant to stay this way!

Then one day when I got home, I was in trouble as soon as I walked through the door. "Renessmee Carlie Cullen, march yourself into the kitchen right now young lady" my dad sat at the kitchen table with his arms crossed and his face full of anger!

"What is this?" he asked pointing a paper on the table, a progress report! Oh no! He found out! "Why don't you read your grades out to me young lady?" I tried to act like he didn't faze me as I walked towards the paper. "Go ahead!" he said, his anger once again taking over his voice. I had purposefully avoided looking at my grades online because I knew they were horrible!

"AP Shakespearean English…D, AP Psychology 2….D, AP US History….F, AP Analytical science…F, EKG…F, Greek mythology…F" and the last one hurt most of all to read, it was my favorite subject, "AP Calculus" I paused, "F"

"What do you have to say about that?" my father spoke his tone ice.

I shrugged and he spoke again, "Renessmee…I. want. An. Answer!" he said in a deadly low voice! My heart began to race and the numbness that had kept me sane for the last few weeks began to fade! I felt the tears brim at my eyes and I couldn't handle it anymore as tears flooded my eyes once more looking at my grades! I had become a disgrace! I dropped the paper on the table! "WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME? WHY!" I yelled! I ran up the steps and shut the door behind me! I ran to my nightstand that had the anit-depressant pills Logan gave me a while ago! I poured a handful out on to my hand and through my head back, swallowing easily 50 pills. As I felt the pills take immediate effect, I heard my door slammed in as Emmett's foot left a mark on the door and my dad came rushing towards me as I lost consciousness!

AUTHOR'S NOTE: PLEASE IGNORE ERRORS, WROTE THIS IN A RUSH! :D COMMENT, REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THOUGHT!