AN: So this is a much shorter chapter than what I normally will write but I had a really hard time getting into Jax's mind to do this. There's only a few more chapters left before the second part. I know a lot of you are ready for her to forgive him and she has. But she just isn't in the right mindset to go back to him. Also, thank you so much for all of the new follows, it means so much! Keep reviewing! -Lanie x

Jax rolled over in bed and through the blankets over his head as he heard the pounding on the door. Whoever it was, he just wanted them to go away. It didn't help that he had a killer hangover. But that has started to become typical for him.

It helps numb out all of the pain that he's feeling. Though, he felt as he if deserved it. Jax got what he deserved. He only gave a part of him to her and now he was severally paying for it. It was just to hard for him to talk about any of it. Keeping it locked away was the best thing he could do.

"Get up, asshole." Opie's voice came in through the door.

Jax rolled his eyes and got out of the bed. Padding over to the door he unlocked it. Once he opened the door he turned around and headed towards the bathroom. After he was finished he walked back into the room and looked over at Opie, who had made himself comfortable.

"Whatcha ya want, Op?"

"My best friend back."

Jax rolled his eyes and leaned against his desk. "Still here."

"You miss him?"

"It's been a few years."

"That's not what I asked."

He let out a sigh before he nodded his head. "Yeah, I do." With his hands shoved in his pockets he looked at him. "I've been thinking about what you said a few months back"

Opie raised his eyebrow. "What idea?"

"To rebuild Jt's bike."

The friend smiled and nodded his head. He knew this would be good for him. "I'll help you."

"You will?"

"Yeah, I'm sure Gemma and Clay want it out of there garage."

Jax smiled a bit and nodded. He was sure that he was right. This is how he could deal with it. Maybe fixing up the bike would help him deal with how he was feeling.

"I think that you're probably right about that."

"It could probably go in here."

"He'd want it here."

"Let's give him somethin' to be proud of."

"The guys waitin' on us?"

"Yeah. They all figured you'd need a bit to wake up."

"C'mon lets get today over with."

"You know we're just cleaning and shit today right?"

"We aren't going?"

"I don't think so."

"Fuck, I didn't want to stay here."

Opie laughed before standing up and walking out of the room. Throwing a shirt over his head, and pulling some pants on, he followed after him.

The two guys started to goof around once the club went to do business. Cleaning the clubhouse was probably one of the jobs Jax hated the most. Though, he knew that they could be making them do shit that was a lot worse.

Awhile later the normal people were starting to show up at the bar. Jax used his charm and flashed his grin. It was fun for him to be assured that he could still get whoever he wanted to.

Jax nodded over at Opie then at the door to let him no that he was going to leave. There was only so much time that he could spend with around the crow eaters right now. Everyone thought that it would help him but he didn't see it that way. Plus he's only 16, then again Gemma would probably be the only one against any of this.

Walking to his bike, he got on and took a ride around Charming. This place was his life, he couldn't imagine not living here. Just the way that Tara couldn't imagine staying here. They were different but different was good. He loved seeing her get defensive and fight with someone.

The times were she trusted him enough to ditch school and just go on a drive with him. It was those times that he was sure that he loved her. When she was riding bitch and giggling in his ear. Just the way she'd smirk at him was enough to undo him. He was hers, ever since he first spoke to her.

Except he fucked her best friend. He's fucked a lot of people. Drinking and fucking just keeps him from thinking about what's happened the past few years. Losing Tommy and his Dad was and still is hard on him. He kept that in though. Why burden someone else with this shit? It weighed him down. He didn't want someone else to be weighed down.

When he passed her house, he stopped across the street and just wanted the house. Most of their memories were held in there. Walking over, he got close to knocking but ended up walking around back towards her window. The light was on but the curtains were drawn. But he could hear her, just barely but it was there.

She laughed. His heart swelled with joy, he missed that sound more than he was able to describe. He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. This was proof that she was okay without him. She didn't need him anymore. Walking back to the bike he started to drive towards his house.

Once he was home, he was greeted by his mom. He kissed her cheek before going to grab the food she had mentioned. Sitting across from her, he zoned out as he pushed around his food with his fork.

"Jax are you even paying attention?"

"Huh? Oh sorry no."

"Clay told me to tell you that you can use the garage here and whatever tools to fix the bike."

"I was already planning on it."

"Don't start."

"I wasn't going to."

"Good. Now stop being such a pussy Jackson."

The young man cringed at the use of the word before smiling at her. "Why'd ya say that?"

"Because I'm sick of the fucking moping around."

"Don't worry about it. You don't have to deal with it long."

"Are you back together?"

Jax couldn't help but see the disgust on her looked over at her and let out a sigh. It wasn't hard to tell how much she really didn't like Tara. Normally he cared what his mom would think but now he really didn't. Not when it came to Tara.

Anyways he was sure that if his dad was around, that he might actually like her. Tara seemed like the type of person that he could get along with. She and Piney got along great and his dad was much like his old friend. Even Clay seemed to like Tara. His mom would get over it.

"Not yet."

"Jax she doesn't want you. Go fuck somethin' else."

"That's what got me into this mess."

"She wasn't going to understand this life anyways."

"I've got to go. Opie and I are going out."

"Be safe."

"Always."

He grabbed his coat and walked outside. Maybe, Gemma was on to something. It was possible that she wasn't going to want him back..ever. If that was going to be what she choose, he would understand. But he wasn't ever going to be himself again.

Each time he lost someone, he was going to lose a part of himself. Though, he was sure that she was going to be back in his arms. This wasn't going to be the end for them.