AN: Hey loves! Sorry this took soooo long, my brain just hasn't been working with me. I thought you deserved a bit of happiness so I tried to give you some here. I've been starting to draft my chapter ideas for the next story and I am getting really excited. So here it is! Maybe you'll get lucky and I'll post a chapter again by friday!

Tara's POV

Tara couldn't control her laughter, the movie that she was watching was hilarious. For the first time she stopped worrying about everything else that had been going on. She's thankful that her Dad had suggested it to her.

Feeling like she was being watched she turned towards her window. Getting up, she walked over and opened it. Catching a glimpse of someone she crawled outside and followed them. Seeing him walk across the street and get on a bike, she knew that it was Jax.

As she let out a breath, his name fell from her lips. "Jackson."

She felt her heart sink knowing that he'd been so close. She missed him so much. Despite everything. What she didn't noticed was a few other bikes that had been watching Jax. After she turned to go back inside, the Mexican bikers followed the direction that Jax went in.

Rewinding the movie, she laid back down and watched. Tara rolled over onto her side and looked at the picture that had always been there. She picked it up and looked at the mother and daughter that smiled at her.

"I wish you were here mom." She sniffed back tears and hugged the frame close to her chest as she looked at the tv. "You'd tell me what to do."

When Tara woke up, she noticed the picture back in its normal spot with the flower necklace hanging off of it. She smiled to herself. There was no doubt in her mind that her Dad had heard her last night. She was happy that he was in a place to let her have it.

Taking off the one Jax bought her for Christmas, she left in on her bedside table before putting on her mother's. Already in a great mood she got up and got dressed. Tara walked into the kitchen where there was a note in her Dad's handwriting;

Won't be home until late tonight– Dad

She rolled her eyes and crumpled the note, guess she was on her own today. Not that she really minded much. Pouring cereal into a bowl, she sat on the counter and looked at the messy kitchen. Tara didn't know how her Dad managed to get more junk to fill the house with. Sliding off of the counter she rinsed the dishes in the sink and loaded them into the dishwasher.

Going into the garage she looked for a box once she found one she took a look at how bad the garage was and let out a sigh. Ever since her mom died he's seemed to refuse to let go of…well anything. Turning to leave, she found herself picking up newspapers and stacks of mail and dropping it into the box.

It would be ideal to just get rid of it but she didn't want to get yelled at. She's learned what's okay to get rid of and what isn't. She turned the radio on and started to dance and sing along while she cleaned up. Once she deemed the kitchen and living room clean enough, she turned off the radio and grabbed her keys.

Pulling her jacket tighter against her, she took a deep breath. The chilly day made her wish that summer was much closer than it was. She really needed to go outside more. She was tired of being stuck at home. Tara didn't realize where she was going until she got there.

Walking through the cemetery she spotted Jax. Sometimes she forgot that he's lost both his brother and father because he's got a family through the club. For a brief moment she thought about going to him. Though, she thought better of it and turned towards her mom's headstone.

"Hey mom." Tara sat down in front of the stone and ran her fingers along the name. "I really wish you were here…or you wrote me a book on how to get through all of this." She smiled a little. "There's a guy, that I really think that I love but I don't know if I do or not. He hurt me and I know it wasn't intentional. I just feel so different when I'm around him, it scares me how willing I am to do all of these things that I never thought I'd do. I don't know who I am when I'm with him."

She wrapped her arms around her sides and took a shaky breath. "I wish you could meet him…I think he's pretty special. I guess I just need to find myself before I can let him in…I think he's scared to let me too," Tara whispered softly.

Jax's POV

Ever since he'd heard her laughing last night, Jax felt awful. It was clear that she wasn't hurting as badly as he was. She probably didn't even miss him. There was nights that all he wanted was to crawl through her window and hold her and yet, she could just care less about him.

Jax only had one person that he wanted to talk to and it was the person he didn't have anymore. He always wondered what it would be like if Tommy and his Dad were still alive. What types of things would they do. The advice he'd give them about girls.

Clay might be good for Gemma, but he wasn't Jax's dad. He almost resented him for being around because he wished it was JT. He'd been leaning against his headstone for a few hours with a notebook. Maybe writing would be a good way for him to connect with his dad even if he was dead.

Taking a break from writing, he looked up and thought he saw Tara but by the time he really got to look the girl was gone. It wasn't the first time he's thought he'd seen her when she wasn't really there.

"I fucking screwed up something perfect… and now I don't think she's ever going to come back. Something tells me that you'd be able to fix this." He laughed. "You'd probably just tell me to write her how I feel…everything she wants to know. But how can I do that when I don't even know myself. I'm just some stupid kid that is gonna be an outlaw in a few years. And she's amazing. She fucking deserves someone like David Hale."

Jax knew that she wasn't going to be his forever, if this didn't get fixed it was going to be someone else that she kissed. Someone else she'd fall in love with. That was one thing that he really didn't want to happen. He lo—He thought he loved her. Though, he wasn't sure. He'd never felt it before. Jax assumed that was what love felt like.

Letting out a sigh, he shoves the notebook in his bag and stands up to leave. He's had enough of all of this. Jax doesn't know how to fix it or if she wants him to. Walking towards his bike, he stops short when he see's Opie and Tara standing there and talking. He feels jealously ripple inside of him.

Tara's POV

After she had enough, she got up and went to leave when she ran into familiar face. She smiled when she saw him. It was good to see him.

"Hey Ope!"

"Hey Tara." He hugged her briefly before letting go

"Don't tell me you've got someone here too?"

"Nah, just JT." He shrugged. "Both my parents are alive and kicking."

"I wish I knew more about him…" Tara looked away for a moment.

"He was a pretty incredible man. Loved to write."

A smile formed at the information that was given to her. There was someone else that she knew who loved writing. "Like Jax?"

"Yeah he definitely takes after him." He smiled back at her. "He doesn't talk about him though, don't feel bad. You're probably more likely to hear about Thomas."

"I wish he'd just talk to me."

"Would you be talking about your mom?"

"I was too young to even realize what was happening. I just knew she wasn't going to live."

"He didn't have that, JT was ripped away from him only a couple of years after his baby brother died. It's really hard on him. He isn't the same as he used to be."

"What was he like?"

"He wasn't as reckless as he is now…Jax really liked school before."

Tara found herself laughing, "Now that's hard to believe."

He laughed with her and nodded. "Yeah, we hit high school and it went downhill."

"Wow." She shook her head.

"What are you talking about?"

Tara turned at the sound of his voice and was greeted with a glare. Confused, Tara just shrugged.

"Opie and I were just catching up."

"Hey man, what's up with you?"

Jax started to calm down when he realized how much distance was in between the two. "Uh, nothing, don't like the weather."

Tara gave him a look before she opened her arms, asking for a hug. She figured that would defuse whatever tension there was. He gave her a hopeful smile as he wrapped his arms around her. It took all of her not to just melt into his arms. When she released her hold, he kissed her forehead and let go of her.

Her face held the smile as the three friends started to talk again.

"So what have you two been up to?"

"Mostly just training." Opie shrugged.

"Yeah, finally going to be official employees at T.M."

"That's great! If the cutlass ever breaks down now I know two guys that can fix it!" She laughed.

Jax smiled lovingly over at her and Opie just laughed.

"Jax sucks though, be careful."

"Oh like you're any better."

"Clay likes me best and we both know it."

"Only because you don't fucking live with him."

Tara watched the two in amusement. It wasn't until then that it really hit her how much she missed getting to hang out with the two of them. There was never a dull moment.

"Okay, okay, boys play nice." She smiled over at them. "I'm sure you're both great."

"I'm better." Jax pouted at her.
"Whatever asshole."

"Are we all so lame that we're hanging out at the cemetery?" Opie asked with a raised brow.

"God we are." Tara nodded her agreement.

"Why don't we go hang out at T.M?" Jax asked.

"I uh don't thin—"

"Tara c'mon. Just three friends hanging out in Jax's room." Opie smirked knowingly at her.

"You told him!" She slapped Jax's arm.

"That was cold Tare."

"Oh suck it, Ope."

"He'll make sure that it doesn't happen again…or maybe he'll just join in."

Tara looked at Jax wide eyed.

"That's fucking sick. No need to worry about that happening."

"You guys fucking kiss and I'm out of there." Tara started heading towards the bikes.

"We'd only kiss you." Jax pulled her away from Opie's bike and towards his.

"Okay, I change my statement. If either of you kiss me I'm leaving." With that she moved back to Opie's bike. "I'll ride with him."

"You're hurting me." Jax mumbled as he got on his bike.

She shrugged as she got onto the back of Opie's bike. "Don't worry I'll let you take me home."

When they got to T.M. Tara smiled as they messed around, and she went straight to his room. Of course it was messy.

"You're almost as bad as my dad is!" She told him as she went to sit on his bed.

Jax smirked over at her but his thoughts were interrupted my Opie.

"Why did we even come here? What the hell is there to do?"

"Why don't we just get drunk or something?" Tara looked at them.

"You gonna trust us all being here if we're drunk?"

"I'm not that stupid when I'm drunk."

"I'll go grab some beers."

Half an hour later, Tara was giggling at the two guys wrestling around on the ground. She really doesn't even know how they got to this point.

"Go Opie!"

"Traitor!" Jax yelled from the floor.

"Liar!" She yelled back.

She took a drink of the half empty bottle and tilted her head to try and get a better view. Though, it was quickly finished.

Opie sat up and pointed at her. "Now she's my favorite."

"Yeah, mine too."

"Aw, aren't you sweet." She laughed and handed Jax the rest of her drink.

"Don want it?"

"I've had enough."

He nodded. "You wanna head home?"

Tara lay down in the bed and shook her head. "In a little bit."

"Take as long as you need. Opie and I are gonna go clean before the guys get back."

"Kay, I'll be here."

He leaned down to kiss her head. Once she woke up from her little nap, she wandered into the bar and watched as they cleaned.

"How long was I asleep?"

Opie looked up at the clock. "About an hour."

"I didn't mean to sleep." She shrugged and sat up on the bar counter and watched them.

"It's fine. You look like you needed it."

She nodded. "Yeah, I haven't been sleeping really well."

Jax looked up at her. "I'm sorry."

Tara gave him a little smile.

"You wanna go home?"

"Please," she whispered.

Jax nodded to Opie before helping her down and leading her out to his bike.

"Are you okay?" He asked as he handed her the helmet.

"Yeah, I just…it's still hard being around you sometimes."

He nodded and got on. Tara instantly wrapped her arms around him.

She whispered into his ear before he started the engine. "Are you sure you can ride your bike like this?"

"We'll be fine. I've done this a million times."

"If I die, I'm haunting your ass."

When she got home in one piece, she was about to sit down when she heard the phone going off. Running to the kitchen, she figured it was her Dad asking her to get him. She grabbed it off of the charger and pressed answer.

"Hello?"

"Is this Tara Knowles?"

"Yes."

"There's been an accident."

Her heart dropped to her stomach as she listened to the rest of what the medic was saying to her. Half of it wasn't even registering to her. As she hung up, she felt the sobs start to take control of her.