Chapter Ten

Edward's Point of view

I leaned against the glass window in the children's wing in the Port Angeles hospital. My daughter was a few feet away in a hospital bed after having her stomach pumped. Gosh! How could I have been so stupid as to show her the report card! I should have known she would have reacted that way! I know those weren't her normal grades, she works much harder than that!

I scrunched my eyes in pain, gosh, I felt so guilty, I had failed as a parent and this was only a portion of how my beautiful daughter felt on a daily basis. It was then that I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder. I turned around and saw Esme standing there with a sympathetic stare.

"Edward, this is not your fault. She needed the reality check…she wasn't going down the right path and no one could have predicted that she would react that way."

"No, Esme, it is my fault. I've failed as parent…maybe…" I paused, "maybe I wasn't meant to do this…I can't be a father…"

"Edward Anthony! There is no such thing as a perfect father. Do you think your father and I knew what to do every time something went wrong? When you went to Italy with the intention of killing yourself, we had no idea what we were going to do. We didn't know how to keep the family together. We've made mistakes before Edward and you can't beat yourself up for it!" she spoke in a soothing voice while rubbing my tense shoulders.

"Your mother is right Edward" I heard my dad say from a few feet away from us, "no parent on this planet is perfect and you are not the only father who has ever felt like this."

The sob I was trying to fight back earlier finally came up, "I almost lost her" I said in a broken tone. I turned to my dad, "I would've never forgiven myself".

My dad came up to me and pulled me into a hug, it shocked me but I reacted quickly. I fisted my hand into his shirt as I tried to muffle my sob. I almost lost Bella a few years ago and now I almost lost my daughter. Why can't I protect anything that's mine!

"Shhh…Edward, calm down! You are not at fault here. Please believe that son." I stayed in his embrace for a while before I pulled away and returned to looking out the window.

"What do I do now?" I asked.

"Well, maybe you should consider checking her into a hospital that specializes in this…" Carlisle said gently.

"You mean send her to an asylum! She's not crazy Carlisle- she's just depressed!" I said in anger.

"I didn't say an asylum Edward, I know she isn't crazy! There are many hospitals that have programs for suicidal teenagers! They more the often help them."

I sighed, I didn't think I could send my daughter away…I didn't want her to feel abandoned but maybe I couldn't help her any more…maybe in order for her to get better I would have to send her somewhere.

"I just feel so guilty…"

"Edward, you aren't sending her away forever, a few months, maybe two or three at most! You want to help your daughter don't you? Well, part of being a parent Edward is asking for help when your help isn't enough…it's one of the most difficult things but it's necessary. Do you really think I wanted to have Logan come and talk to you for two months after we left Bella?"

I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. I knew he was right but I didn't want to admit it to myself, I didn't want to accept it. "I'll talk it over with Bella" I said tersely.

A few hours later I found myself sitting at my daughter's bedside, she was still asleep. It was soothing to know that for at least a little while she was calm, at least for a little while she was in a peaceful state. It was then that I heard heels clacking down from the hallway. I kissed my daughter's forehead and closed the door, meeting Bella outside. She was running at a human pace and when she saw me she ran up to me.

"Where is she?! What happened?! What did the doctors say?! Is she okay?! Did someone call Logan-" I pulled my wife into a kiss to stop her worried chatter and when I pulled away I leaned my forehead against her enjoying the small moment of bliss. I pulled away all too soon but began explaining to calm my wife's ever growing nerves.

"Nessie is alive, she's asleep right now. They had to have her stomach pumped."

"What happened, Edward? What triggered this?" she asked. I pulled the folded piece of paper out of my pocket and handed it to her. She unfolded the paper and looked over it, shock and a hint of anger and understanding crossed her eyes.

"You got angry and confronted her about these grades and she panicked" she immediately described what happened. I nodded my head silently as I sat down and put my head in my hands.

"I'm so sorry Bella! I've failed as a parent. It was horrible!" I said remember the events that lead us to this point.

Flashback:

After Nessie ran upstairs I heard the door slam shut and while I was lost in my anger, anyone in the house could hear the distinct shaking of pills. I stayed frozen for a millisecond before I yelled for Emmett and he flew out of his room to Nessie's door. "Stand back" he said and rammed his foot into the door. It was just as quickly that I noticed Nessie faint.

"Call 9-1-1" I said harshly, her heart was still beating but I knew the drugs would work quickly. Shortly after Carlisle came in with the EMT's and began setting her on the stretcher. The loaded her into the ambulance and I drove behind them to the hospital. When I got there Nessie was going into cardiac arrest and they were calling a code. Tubes, wires and needles surrounded her and I was going to follow but Carlisle's strong hands stopped me and held me into place. "Edward, she's in good hands. Let us do our job. Emmett take him to the waiting room" as I was being pulled away I could hear the clear sound of Carlisle charging the defibrillator, "clear" he yelled and I heard Nessie's body jolt.

I waited for what seemed like hours in a daze, not listening to anything around me, blocking everyone out. I could have sworn I lost her, I could have sworn that she died but then Carlisle came out and took me to her. It was the worst feeling ever, I wondered vaguely if that was how Carlisle and Esme felt when I left to Italy. But the thought disappeared when I saw my daughter- helpless on her hospital bed.

"Hey, hey, look at me Edward" Bella said grabbing my cheek, pulling me out of my daze "it's not your fault. We expect more from Renessmee and these grades aren't what our daughter is capable of." She kissed me, "we'll get through this. I know we will."

"Bella…Carlisle and Esme proposed something to me this morning about what we should do…" I said hesitantly, "they suggested that we put Nessie is a hospital where she'll be with other kids who are suicidal and depressed. We can still visit her and take her out every now and then but for the most part she'll be there…it hurts me to say this, really it does but…I think it would be for the best."

"You think our daughter is crazy?!" she whispered in shock.

"No, not at all but…Bella, think about it…we've done the most we could to help her...Carlisle told me something today and he said that the hardest part of being a parent is asking for help when what you're doing isn't good enough…if we want Nessie to get better…I think we should consider one of these programs. We'll find nothing short of the best." I assured her.

She sighed, putting her hand into mine, "I think you're right Edward. We have done our best and I want our daughter to get better. How are we going to explain it to her though?"

"I haven't decided yet…I know she'll be upset at first but we have to remember that it will help her in the end, okay? We have to stay strong and be there for each other!"

"We will!" she said, honesty in her eyes. We kissed each other once more and we went back into our daughter's room waiting for her slumber to end. We knew the next few months would not be easy but I had a duty to my daughter.

Author's Note: I'm sorry for the delayed update but school has been so hectic. I hope you liked this chapter. Please review and let me know what you thought. :) and now you can follow me on twitter also: silenceandmoods