Chapter 11

Renessmee's Point of View

I got my sense of hearing back before anything else, I could hear the constant beeping from somewhere nearby. I knew that sound like the back of my hand; it's the monitor keeping tabs on my heart rhythm. I was in the hospital; I came to the conclusion quickly. Why was I in the hospital though? I can't remember. How many days of school have I missed? Two? Three? More? The second sense that I regained was my sense of touch, I was now aware of the uncomfortable needle in my arm, knowing full well that it was an IV. I could also feel the uncomfortable sheets beneath me and the thin hospital gown.

Finally, with enough will power I opened my eyes and I saw my father, looking back at me with a small smile. I smiled back trying to remember why I was here. Confusion must have been evident on my face because my father asked:

"You don't remember why you're here do you?" he said in soft voice while running his hand through my hair, I saw the hurt, guilt and blame dance in his eyes. Why was he so hurt? Was it because me? Did I do something? Then it all hit me at once like a ton of bricks, it came back in a rush. I remember seeing the report card, bursting out at my dad, the bottle of pills and Emmett pushing the door in. I had tried to kill myself and my dad saved me. I was the reason my dad was so upset with himself…I caused him that pain. The tears formed in my eyes and a few slipped but my dad caught them.

"Shhh…baby girl, relax…don't cry my beautiful princess." He began humming my lullaby until the tears stopped.

"I'm sorry daddy" I said in a whisper, my voice scratchy from not being in use.

"Oh honey! It's okay…we're going to help you" he said but I couldn't help but see a hint of hurt in his eyes as he said that. "Your mother and I won't give up on you".

I stayed in the hospital a few more days for observation; the doctor also put me under suicide watch as well…that had to be the worst part of this whole experience. People had to feed me and I couldn't go to the bathroom alone, when I got my food there was only a spoon, no fork or knife. It became annoying, especially for someone who is used to being independent. There wasn't even a window to look out of while I spent my days here, I was forced to watch TV but I couldn't control it myself…the remote had a wire attached to it so my dad was the one that had to control it. Emmett, Jasper, Alice and Rosalie all came over in that time span though and we talked and played games. Emmett almost got himself kicked out when he played a prank on one of the nurses. But finally, the day came when I was able to leave. I was very thankful to finally be free but I noticed as I was getting ready that my grandfather and parents were both a little anxious. When we got to the car, I slid into the back seat next to my mom and my father and grandfather went in the front. We drove for about 45 minutes before I realized we weren't heading towards Forks, we were heading in the opposite direction towards Seattle, my parents and grandfather all kept sharing glances with each other, as if they could sense that I was on to them.

"Hey, we are going in the wrong direction!" I told them.

"Umm…we are taking a trip somewhere else, it's in Seattle" my mother answered.

"Oh, where are we going?" it's odd that they didn't mention this to me before. What's up? Something's not right here.

"You'll see when we get there" my dad answered.

We all rode in silence for the longest time before we entered the Seattle area. I noticed my mother start to rub soothing circles on my hand, something was up and it made me very uneasy. My mother kept whispering "I love you, Nessie" every so often and Carlisle and Dad mimicked her as well. Finally, we pulled up to a huge building; brown walls with an almost earthly feel to it. Beautiful trees were bursting at the entrance. I got out of the car and when I walked towards the entrance the door to the building was automatic and the floor in the lobby was marble and very fancy. Windows towered towards the ceiling, letting light come in. I thought it was a hotel at first but then I noticed the pamphlets on top of the huge counter; some were about eating disorders, others about anxiety but a few were about self-harm and it all hit me at once- they were sending to away to a clinic! It all made sense now; the silent car ride, the lack of information, it was all coming together! They were going home but I wasn't! I stopped in my tracks and turned back towards the car, I opened the door and I sat in the back seat. My Carlisle and my parents came towards me.

"Nessie please come out" my mother tried.

"Take me home!" I said upset that they would just send me away.

"Nessie, this place is going to help you- we aren't getting rid of you- this is to help you! We want to see you get better." Carlisle tried to explain to me.

I felt the tears welling in my eyes, "No! How dare you send me away! You don't love me, do you? I'm not perfect enough to be a part of your family, am I?"

"Nessie, just come inside and we can talk about it!" my dad tried to compromise "and you know that's not true. We love you just the way you are, you are perfect to us and I'm so sorry that you can't see that but this place is going to help with that…it has the best treatment!"

"We can talk about it on our way to Forks!" tears slid down my face and then a familiar face came in front of me, Logan. Not someone I was particularly fond of!

"Renessmee, I work here, this is a good place- it's going help you so much if you just let it. The faster your health improves, the faster you'll leave. Your parents love you very much, so much so that they are willing to send you here. They're able to visit any time they want and you can talk to them over the phone as long as you want. I know its scary being here but that's only because it's new. Come out of the car and inside and we can all talk, I'll show you around and it'll be fine. I promise…do you trust me Renessmee?"

My breathing was becoming difficult but I grabbed Logan's hand and he pulled me out of the car and I walked into the place, holding onto my father who kept whispering words of comfort.

"Welcome to Pine Crest Hills" smiled a lady at the front; I really didn't want to be here! I really, really, really didn't want to stay here but I had a feeling that the choice was no longer in my control.