Anonymous: Kensi's first day back to work.
She takes her time walking into work that day. Opens the door slowly, admires her surroundings. Everything is moving at a much more gradual pace, everything is taking more time than it usually would. That tends to be the case when you escape the real world for a couple of months.
He's standing just outside the bullpen, both hands in his pockets. His eyebrows are furrowed as he watches her enter. Kensi thinks it looks as if he was ready to pounce at any minute.
All Deeks wants is for her to feel safe. He's made that clear since day one.
Her eyes catch on his and he slowly begins walking towards her. They meet in the middle of the hallway, where she knows Callen and Sam won't be able to see.
"Hi," he says.
She grins, not wanting to give him further reason to worry. "Hi."
Deeks gives her a small smile in return, but as he looks to the floor, tracing circles in the cement with his foot, the expression fades slightly.
"Are you sure you're ready to be back?"
He's asked her this question before. A couple of times, actually, just in different context. Her answers have always varied, but this time Kensi feels as if her reply is a bit more concrete.
"I'm fine," she says, keeping her voice down for fear of somebody overhearing any hint of hesitation in her tone.
"You didn't seem fine last night," he replies, gently but firmly.
A couple of fresh tears spring up in her eyes. Deeks swallows but forces himself to continue.
"Or the night before that, or the night we got home." He shakes his head and looks torn. "Just saying the words doesn't make it true."
Her eyes drop down to stare at her toes and her voice reduces to a whisper.
"Deeks…"
Kensi looks as if she's going to break down again, any minute now. She's biting her lower lip, trying so hard to keep the tears at bay.
Without a second thought Deeks grabs her hand and pulls her into the burn room, just across the hall. As soon as the door shuts, she falls into his arms just the same way she had back at Camp Chapman.
"It's okay," he whispers. "I've got you."
She tightens her grip and clutches the fabric of his tee shirt as the tears continue to stream down her cheeks. The nightmares won't go away, and he's witnessed all of it. He knows how this feels, in more ways than one.
"I'm gonna be okay, Deeks." There's a lengthy pause. Her heart skips a beat as she wonders if he ever felt this broken. "…Aren't I?"
He can hear her falling apart. Disintegrating. Breaking and hurting and wishing that none of this had ever happened, that everything could just go back to the way it used to be. Deeks knows that's a lot to ask but goddammit, that's all he wants. For her to be okay again.
So he tells her- "You're going to be okay, Kens. These things just take time."
She pulls away slightly, putting only as much space as necessary between them for her to see his face.
"How much time?"
Her bottom lips is quivering, her voice shaking. Deeks knows what she's wondering, because he'd asked himself the exact same question on an almost daily basis. How much more can I take?
"I don't know," he replies, answering both questions in a single reply. "But I'm not gonna let you do this alone. You wouldn't let me, so I'll do the exact same for you."
She nods slowly and once again rests her head against his chest.
"We're gonna make it," he adds, just for further conformation.
Kensi's heart skips as she asks- "Is that a promise?"
Deeks holds her the tiniest bit tighter in his arms.
"That's a promise."