Teddy shot up from her sleep, her skin drenched in a cold sweat, her heart beating in her ears, tears streaming down her face. She felt like the walls of their bedroom were closing tight in on her and her chest felt like it had the weight of the world crushing it. Blonde hair stuck to her sweat drenched forehead as she clutched her chest, gasping for air.
"Teddy?" Addison sat up next to her girlfriend, wrapping her arms comfortingly around the terrified woman next to her.
Teddy flinched and almost jumped out of her skin at the reds loving touch.
"I can't... I can't stop the bleeding. There's too much blood" Teddy said in-between breaths, bringing her knee's to her chest and holding onto them as though her life depended on it.
"Teddy. Wake up, baby" Addison shook her, trying to wake her from the re-occuring nightmare she had been having every night for the past week. "Its just another bad dream, its okay. I'm here"
Teddy opened her eyes which were full of tears, screaming out in terror.
"Addison?" Teddy whispered as she felt her girlfriends soft warm hand caress her tear-soaked cheek.
"Its okay, I'm here" Addison said soothingly, pulling Teddy into a tight, protective embrace.
"It just felt so real" Teddy cried against Addison's chest. "I thought I was back there, in Iraq"
"I know you did, baby. But its okay. You're here. You're safe. I'm not going to let anything hurt you, okay?" Addison kissed Teddy's head. "It was just a dream, okay?"
Teddy's grip on Addison's bed shirt got tighter and tighter as she tried to calm herself down. She could hardly breathe right now. But being in Addison's arms, her loving and protective arms, Teddy began to slowly return to normal. Her heart rate slowed and her tears stopped. Addison Adrienne Forbes Montgomery was her safe haven.
"I'm, I'm sorry" Teddy sniffled a few minutes later.
"You have nothing to be sorry about, you hear me? Nothing!" Addison cupped Teddy's cheek, looking into her green eyes, which were still full of fear, her heart breaking at seeing the woman she loved like this, seeing her so scared and broken andknowing htere was nothing she could do to help her.
"I thought they'd stopped. I thought I was over it, the PTSD" Teddy wiped her cheeks. "I just feel so weak and useless"
Ever since she had been an army doctor, she had suffered from PTSD, she had seen things, horrific things, over there that would haunt her every day of her life. She never had it bad, though. Not like Owen had it anyway. She could deal with it. It wasn't something she even worried about most of the time but for the past few weeks, it had returned. Worse than ever. Ever since one of the soldiers she had worked on over in Iraq was rushed into the ER afetr being hit by a car. Thats when she started to remember everything about what it was like over there, just how horrific it was. The extent of the injuries the soldiers would suffer over there. The fact that the mortality rate was higher than survival. She would have nightmares almost every night and wake up in a cold sweat, much like she had done tonight. The smells of burt flesh would invade her senses, the sounds of the soldiers who had been blown to pieces screaming out in pain would ring in her head. The sight of a faceless young soldier bleeding out would play over and over in her head each night. She was unable to save him every time, despite her best efforts.
Addison would always wake her up from the nightmares and calm her down and soothe her as much as possible. Something about Addison soothed her and kept her grounded, but Addison, as much as she tried, would just simply never understand. She was glad of that, though. The thought of Addison knowing exactly what she was going through made her sick to the stomach. She never wanted Addison to have to go through anything like she had been through.
"You're not weak, and you're not useless!" Addison said strongly, her thumb ghosting Teddy's cheek. "It was just a dream, its not real. You might not be able to save them in your dreams, but in reality, in reality you save everybody. You're a Cardio God!... Promise me that tomorrow, you're going to go and see Dr Wyatt because I need you to work through this. I know you've said you don't want to see anyone, but this is killing you, Teddy. You haven't slept in weeks"
"Okay, I promise" Teddy half smiled, cupping Addison's cheek as she pressed a soft salty kiss on her girlfriends lips.
"But first" Addison raised her eyebrows and bit her bottom lip. "First, you're gonna have to shower because you're stinky" Addison took Teddy's hand in her own and lead her into their bathroom, a sexy look in her eye.
Both Addison and Teddy knew that a lot more than sex was needed to fix this, but at least for an hour or so, they could both forget about whatever troubled them and be there in the moment, just the two of them and their overwhelming love for the other.