Anonymous: Deeks and Kensi share a dance at Callen and Joelle's wedding.
She looks up from the table as Deeks extends one of his hands towards her.
"Dance with me," he says. It isn't really a question, just a declaration.
Kensi cocks her head to one side and tries to look away, but his eyes are caught on hers and she just can't. It would feel so wrong.
"I, um… I'm really tired, and my feet are sore-"
"Then take off your heels," he says, part of him teasing her but the other part totally and completely serious. She doesn't look convinced.
"Dance with me," he repeats.
Kensi smiles and with a small eye roll, concedes. She takes his hand and Deeks leads her out onto the dance floor, a soft slow melody playing in the background. He pulls her in close, swaying in time with the music. Typically Kensi would make some snarky comment, but she honestly can't bring herself to protest.
Things are different, now. She wishes they weren't but they are. Afghanistan changed everything.
She got home and wasn't ready yet, so Deeks gave her some space. But then a couple months later, by the time she came around, he'd already figured that what they had was over. That she had moved on.
He couldn't have been further from the truth.
But now it was nearly one year later and they were right where they'd been before he kissed her, before she left, and before everything changed.
"I should've tried harder," Deeks says quietly after a moment.
Her heart skips a beat because she knows what he's referring to but doesn't have the audacity to acknowledge it. So she just pulls away slightly and furrows her eyebrows. He swallows.
"You know what I mean, Kens."
She does, but saying that would be far too easy. "I'm not sure I do, exactly."
The second the words leave her lips, Kensi hates herself for saying it. She expects Deeks to feel the same way but when he looks up at her, he isn't angry or hurt. He's just ready to talk about it.
They've been dancing around the truth for long enough and by now, he's done playing games.
"I'm sorry," he says. She knows that he means it and won't allow him to take all of the blame for this.
"I am too, Deeks."
He shakes his head and almost looks angry. Not at her, just at himself. At the missed opportunity that he's holding in his arms.
"We could've made it work, if I just hadn't given up on you."
Could've. Her heart drops into her stomach and she closes her eyes for a long moment, trying everything in her power to avoid his stare. He might notice that she's near tears.
Deeks knows why she doesn't want to look at him right now and his heart crumbles. So rather than allowing her to avoid the truth, their truth, any longer, he inhales sharply and states- "You know I still love you."
Still makes it sound as if she's heard all this before. As if none of it's new, and as if she isn't completely blindsided by the confession.
He's never told her that before. He's never said that he loves her.
"Deeks-"
"Please," he says, eyes glistening with a slight sheen. "Just give me a chance. Let me make it right." He sucks in a shaky breath and tightens his hold on the small of her back. "I'm not letting you go again. Not if I have a choice in the matter."
There's a long stretch of silence between them, and Kensi doesn't even realize she's crying until one of his hands lifts up to her face and flicks a tear off her cheek.
She shuts her eyes and rests her forehead against his. Deeks hovers there for a moment before brushing his lips against the top of her head.
"I should've fought for you," he says. The words escape his mouth through clenched teeth and if Kensi hadn't before, she now understands without a doubt just how much he tried to get to her. That he needed her just as much as she needed him.
Her throat is tight and her stomach is in knots but eventually, Kensi finds the words she needs to say.
"You did fight for me, Deeks. I just didn't let you win."
