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"Hey, hey, Sawada-chan!" Akira's voice greeted me through the phone.

"Ah, Akira?" I asked, idly twirling my hair in one finger. "To what do I owe the pleasure of your call?"

"What, I can't just make a social phone call?"

"Well, are you making a social phone call?"

"...No."

"Exactly." I was lying down on my bed, feet dangling off the edge, staring at the ceiling. "So, why'd you call?"

"You know the summer festival that's coming up?" Had that one crack in the paint been there before?

"Yeah?" I wondered if I should repaint the ceiling.

"Yuki and I are planning to run a roasted chicken stand there." Maybe I should paint a mural there instead of the plain boring colour it currently was. "It'd be great if you could help out."

I sat up, now fully paying attention, and scooted backwards until my back hit the wall. "Wait, so you're asking me if I want to help you with your roasted chicken stand at the coming summer festival?"

"Yep. It was pretty popular last year and the year before that too. You weren't fully paying attention, were you?"

"Ahaha, you caught me. But my attention and ears are all yours now, don't worry."

There was a exasperated but fond sigh on the other end of the line.

The sizzling scent of frying chicken wafted up and I breathed in, enjoying the delicious smell and wishing I could eat the chicken myself. The three of us manning the stand would get the leftovers, but judging by how popular our stand was, there might not be any leftovers.

As I was watching over the chicken, I saw Fuuta out of the corner of my eye. I waved.

"Fuuta!" I called. He heard me and looked around for a moment before spotting me.

"Nee-san!" The adorable brunet jogged over to my stall. "I wasn't expecting to see you here."

"Well, now you have!" I flicked his forehead gently. "What, do you not want to see me or something? I'm hurt, truly."

I held my hands to my heart and staggered back in mock shock.

Fuuta giggled and played along. "Oh no, I didn't mean to seem like I didn't like you! Please forgive me!"

"Alright, you're forgiven."

"Really?"

"Yep, really."

"Then... can I have some chicken as proof of your forgiveness?"

"Tsk." I flicked his forehead again. "What a cheeky boy."

"So, is that a yes?" he asked hopefully.

I laughed and patted him on the head. "Fine, fine, you can have some."

I told Yuki and Akira that I'd pay for it later and gave three servings to Fuuta.

"If you see Lambo and I-Pin, give them theirs, okay?"

"Okay!" Fuuta happily walked away, eating and waving goodbye. I kept waving until he was out of sight. That boy was absolutely adorable, just as cute as Tsuna had been when he was a baby.

"Sawada-chan."

I turned from where I was waving goodbye to see Yuki, who handed me an envelope.

"Hm? What's this for?"

"The Nami-chuu Disciplinary Committee."

"Ah, right. But why're you giving this to me?"

"Ah, um, y'know," Yuki hesitated, then finally admitted, "I'm scared of Hibari."

"And I'm not?"

"You're definitely not."

"True, true."

Yuki gave me a deadpan look and shook her head in exasperation.

The crowd parted behind us and the prefect walked up to our stand. Looked like Yuki had given me the envelope just in time. Yuki squeaked and slid behind Akira, who was pretending to be busy with something.

"Hello, Hibari-san," I greeted him. "What brings you to our humble stand on such a fine summer's night?"

"Pay up or have your stand crushed," he said in reply.

"Wow, rude," I commented. "You didn't even greet me properly."

Akira elbowed me sharply in the ribs and hissed, "Just give him the damn money! You may have a death wish but the rest of us sure as hell don't!"

"Fine, fine." I rubbed the sore spot and gave the skylark the envelope, then leaned towards him and conspiratorially whispered, "Oh, you might want to check out the shrine just before the fireworks. I guarantee there's going to be something interesting there."

Hibari raised an eyebrow and left. The crowd, after a moment's hesitation, began lining up again.

"Geez," I huffed. "Guy didn't even say goodbye."

I found a really good place to watch the fireworks. It was also pretty well hidden, so I decided it would serve as a good hiding place if the need ever arose.

The clear viewpoint of the fight at the shrine was also a definite plus.

"Nee-chan..."

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "You're in the police station for the second time for being found half-naked with Haru on the top of a truck."

"Do I want to know how you know?"

"Probably not. I'll come as soon as I can."

I'd never gone to a test of courage before, so when asked, I said yes. When I arrived, things went according to the anime/manga, and we all agreed to be the ones scaring Tsuna and Lambo.

I planned to present myself as the nure onago by drenching myself in water from the pond and smearing my face with mud. And laugh hideously, of course. I was looking forward to that the most. However, things were not going to go my way tonight.

It was the lantern festival, the night where the barrier between the spirit realm and mortal world was weakest. Cracks would appear in the barrier, allowing the ghosts with the strongest wills and unlucky mortals to slip through.

Unlucky mortals such as myself.

"Ahahahahahahaha!" The blond psycho in front of me swept his cloak out dramatically and laughed manically. The mist around him cleared up as if to allow me to see him clearly. He brought his hand up to cover his heart and bowed mockingly, then straightened up and gave me a pitying expression with additional glowing eyes. "Wretched girl, unfortunate enough to stumble into my lair. Your misfortune has landed you in my cruellest clutches. Now, you don't want to suffer any more than necessary, do you? Submit to me, and I might just let you live. As my food slave, of course."

He grinned nastily, and stretched his arms out as if expecting me to fall into them. I stared at him.

What the fuck?

He was hot, sure, but really? Did he really think girls in this day and age would be so submissive and just comply to his orders, being his 'food slave'? ...Wait, on second thoughts, vampires and vampire romance were pretty popular right now, so some girls might actually do it. This guy certainly acted like your not-so-friendly neighbourhood bloodsucker.

"Who the hell are you?" I asked, wringing my hair out. It didn't look like I'd be going back to scare Tsuna any time soon, and I'd rather not get sick from having wet hair in the cold night air.

The vampire guy frowned, creasing his perfect forehead and clearly confused as to why I wasn't throwing myself into his arms. His eyes glowed a more brilliant red as he spoke again. "I am the matter of your nightmares, the monster you fear most, the-"

"Please get to the point," I interrupted, still wringing pond water out of my hair.

The poor guy stared at me, clearly bewildered and not used to puny human girls interrupting his overly long speeches. He recovered quickly though and brought a perfectly manicured hand up to his face in a resigned manner.

"Alright then," he sighed, "since you have refused the honour of becoming my food slave, I will take you up on your challenge. Whoever loses this duel will become the slave of the other!"

With that, he hopped off the rock he had been on and dived at me, fangs bared. Wait, what? Since when did I challenge him? What kind of weird vampiric logic was he following?

I stepped out of his way and blinked.

"Hey, your speech changed," I realised.

"What?" He charged at me again.

"Like, before, it was all intense and echoey, but now, it's just... normal." I wrinkled my nose and dodged a second time.

Then a third.

And a fourth.

And a fifth.

"Hey, do we really have to do this? It's getting late and I really need to be going home soon."

"You would make light of my skills? Fine then, I see no reason to hold back any longer. Prepare yourself!"

"Hey, I never said you sucked at this, even if I did think it."

He snarled and charged at me with a greater speed than before. And greater power too, apparently, as the tombstone (wait, what?) he crashed into was reduced to rubble.

"Is charging at girls the only thing you can do?" I snorted. "Talk about a one trick pony."

The mist covering the graveyard (again: wait, what?) was more or less gone now, and I could run through the area without fear of accidently head butting a piece of glorified rock. As I ran, I tried to figure out what was going on. The barrier between the worlds had weakened and blah, blah, blah, but that was just for Japanese spirits, right? What the hell was a vampire doing here? At least, I was pretty sure he was a vampire, but maybe it'd be better to ask.

I stopped and turned around. "Oi, buddy, so you a- Whoa!"

I hopped out of the way and let him demolish a random dead tree. As he was recovering from the impact, I stepped on his back and pulled up his arms, effectively immobilizing him.

"Let go of me!" he roared as he struggled fiercely. I, of course, still didn't have any trouble holding him. "What is this strength?! It is not human!"

"Well excuse you, I'm very human. I'm the most human inhuman human there is," I responded.

"That doesn't even make any sense!"

"Oh, you wanna talk about sense? Did saying I challenged you to a duel when I didn't even say anything make sense to you?"

"Yes!"

"...Whatever. Anyway," I pulled his arms up and planted my foot on his back a little more firmly. "So, are you, like - I can't believe I'm asking this - a bloodsucker or something?"

"...Yes," he conceded after struggling a minute more. He finally slumped down to the ground in defeat. "Although, we don't really take nutrition from the blood. We live off the Dying Will energy every person has in their blood, even if they can't use it. Of course, you have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?"

He turned his head around slightly and choked on his own spit at the sight of me, having transferred his right arm into my left hand as well, holding up my right hand and bouncing a bright orange flame up and down.

"You mean this?"

"A Flame user..." whispered the Flame-sucker after he finished coughing. His eyes gleamed. "Oh, this just gets better and better."

Having caught me off guard, he escaped from my grasp and leaped up, aiming for my neck - seriously, why was it always the neck, the limbs also contained major blood vessels - with his teeth bared.

I can't really be held accountable for what I did next. It was purely an in-the-moment thing and I panicked. And something in the back of my mind was going, 'The best form of defence is offence' or something along those lines.

...

I bit him.

Haha what did I just write

Also: who are you people and how do you even find anything here even the tiniest bit funny

LadyWilliams: Oh, that's a nice idea.

Reaper Senpai + Forgetful Insanity: AHAHAHAHAHA YOU'LL NEVER KNOW~

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