Kelis POV

I herd Mum, Taylor and Andrea out of my room as a sheep dog would with a flock of its farmer's sheep. I quite like that metaphor; it's surprisingly accurate with the way that most people follow the inspiring, courageous and generally annoying Kelly Jones around. If I've learnt one thing over the years of my considerably short life it's that anyone will do anything for a piece of the Kelly pie, that's why today's main event has had such a big turn out and not because of the free food at the reception. Although, from what I've been hearing, most of the guests that are sitting patiently in their seats have merely turned up to witness the winnings and losses of their multiple bets on Mum's and Fritton's relationship and the ceremony. Those who betted against Aunty B turning up and fulfilling her duties of giving Mum away (because apparently Mum doesn't get along with her own Mother) would've just won themselves a large sum of money.

As we round the corner that leads to one of my most favoured short cuts, a somewhat casual tone of voice drifts to our ears. The voice changes from casual to venomous and back to casual again with every sentence the owner speaks. As we advance further towards the new sound wave, it starts to ooze with a sickening power that doesn't quite make you cringe away (like Fritton's angry voice) or make you run for the hills (like Mum's boom of a yell) but it still makes Taylor nervously twiddle her thumbs in an unknown worry. "I am on top," the voice snarls. Before I can go any further, Mum suddenly places her hand on my stomach and pushes (or pulls from her perspective) back into her slender arms in a protective manner.

"Becca," she whispers into my ear.

"Don't be blinded by your arrogance," another voice answers with a matching growl. "You should go and dig up your grave now because with the way you're acting, you won't be here in two months."

"Do you have to be so bloody dramatic?" Aunty B laughed. "The predator doesn't get eaten by its prey."

"Arrogance!" The second voice spat.

"Common sense," B snarled back.

"I should've followed my instinct and forced you to step down before you got too into this lifestyle. You are far too arrogant and childish to be in charge of such a powerful organisation!"

"Oh yes," came the sarcastic reply. "Because Kelly would've happily stepped up and dragged herself, Kelis and Belle into the criminal underworld. A round of applause for that ladies and gentlemen!"

"Who's Kelis?" With a swift movement, Mum charged forward and stepped into the firing line of the bickering pair. Not wanting to miss the show (which was starting to resemble a cheesy soap opera), me, Tweedle Bling and Tweedle Corpse followed her loyally.

"Perfect timing as always Kelly," B grinned. "I must say, you all look very dashing. What's the occasion?"

I couldn't help but let my eyes roll at my aunt's comment; I could see exactly where my idiotic cousin Jenifer French has inherited her own sense of humour from. Aunty B is dressed in her own version of the St Trinian's uniform and it is the polar opposite to the style of Mum's. Like many of the current and previous students, B didn't wear the standard school blazer. Instead she has opted to wear a silvery grey, American high school styled jacket with the hood resting comfortably on top of her head. The sleeves of the jacket are pushed up to the base of her elbows to reveal the bold tattoo on the inside of her left wrist and the freshly wrapped school tie on her other wrist. On the jacket itself, (stitched carefully over where her heart was) a small school emblem sat proudly, challenging everybody who dared to look. However, on the left side of her jacket sleeve another iconic logo was carefully embroidered in a delicate silver thread, the scorpion.

The rest of Aunty B's 'uniform' is pretty basic. She wears a white and un-tucked school blouse with deliberately scuffed black skinny jeans and black high-tops with a folded over fur trim. B's eyes sparkle with the promise of mayhem and mischief as she innocently smiles at her elder sister. I sigh mentally to myself, that is a clear sign of the fun times that are about to come. It's easy to predict that my childish aunt has some dastardly deed planned which will probably ruin my plans of slipping out later to avoid the Jones compliments that I am sure to receive.

Mum looks back into Aunty B's mischievous eyes with her own unique glare before the owner of the second voice (an elderly woman) interrupts them. "Kelly," she greets. "Who is Kelis?"

"Mine and Belle's new dog," Mum answers without hesitation and without breaking eye contact with B. My aunt bites her bottom lip in a fruitless attempt to conceal her growing smile; it doesn't take a high IQ like Mum's good friend Polly to tell that B is failing to stop herself from laughing. I, on the other hand, look at Mum in disbelief (which she ignores), what normal parent would call their eldest and only child a dog? "Please excuse the intrusion Mother but we are needed elsewhere."

Mum roughly grabs B by the elbow and drags my unwilling Aunt off into the distance whilst muttering insults that are far too rude to repeat. As the two sisters leave, Tweedle Bling and Tweedle Corpse take up their positions at my side with faces so serious that it makes them look ready to take a bullet in order to protect me. Not wanting to be in this elderly woman's (or technically Grandmother's) presence any longer, I smile politely at her scrutinising face and then walk off in the same direction as Mum and B.

Eventually we step out into the bright sunshine of a slightly cloudy day. In the distance there's the noise of light chatter and the chime of cheerful laughter, there's also the insults that are freely being thrown back and forth between tribes but we'll just ignore that for this occasion. I can't help but smile at the peacefulness of the grounds (even with the slight bickering that is currently going on between Taylor and Andrea); for once I do not have to worry about anyone murdering each other. But before I can jinx it further, the music changes and everybody shuts up in an instance.

Review because I totally haven't been frolicing in the snow whilst trying to write