Chapter Thirteen

He supposed he'd just have to get used to it, Carol's propensity to nestle into his back while they slept. Of course, moving his bedroll away from her was out of the question. If he weren't so stubborn, he'd admit he liked the way she curled all kitten-like against him. He wondered if she even realized she was doing it. It was a dangerous game he was playing. Her presence at his back was too comforting. It brought him peace to know she was there, that she unconsciously sought him out in her sleep, and it sent him into a deeper sleep. It chased away the demons and allowed him to rest. Good overall for his body … not so much for his peace of mind.

Daryl sighed and lay there a moment longer, simply enjoying the quiet before the day began. At least Merle hadn't come barging in to poke fun at him, he thought with relief. Why his brother had to constantly rib him about his relationship with Carol, he couldn't understand. Merle refused to believe they were just friends. He snorted. As if she'd ever see him as anything more. And there was the issue of if he could trust her with his past. She had enough burdens to carry around with her; she didn't need him to add to it. He couldn't allow himself to be selfish, even if he could ever allow her in more than he already had.

The soft sound disturbed her slumber and he felt her stiffen against him, a sharp intake of breath stirring the damp hair at his nape where her face pressed to his warm skin. She quickly withdrew, and he could only imagine what was going through her mind. He rolled onto his stomach and turned his head to face her in the dim light the moon provided through the tent flap.

Carol brought trembling fingers to her lips, her eyes wide. "Daryl, I'm so sorry … I didn't mean -"

Daryl shook his head, a furrow appearing between his brows. "Y' apologize entirely too much, woman. Y' was asleep."

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable, though," she protested.

He looked away, using the excuse of checking on a still sleeping Sophia over her shoulder. "Y' won't be apologizing come winter an' y' need my body heat t' keep y' warm. It's nothin', so stop your damn worryin'."

Carol's lips turned up in a faint smile. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I never liked to be touched in my sleep, and I certainly never sought out to cuddle Ed in the middle of the night."

Daryl sat up and reached for his boots to pull them on. "That's a shocker," he scoffed. He was surprised she'd never sewn Ed up in a bed sheet and took a baseball bat to his head. But his Carol was too good for that. She was the type who couldn't bear to kill that spider which lurked in the shower. Did she even have spiders in her shower? Ugh! He was getting maudlin. Time to go! "I'll … uh … let y' get dressed."

"I won't be but a minute," she promised, watching him grab his gear and step through the flap.

She traded out her black yoga pants for a pair of jeans and pulled a brown button up over her white tank. She was pulling on her boots when she noticed her daughter staring at her with sleepy eyes.

"Mama, you're smiling," Sophia whispered.

"Was I?" Carol asked, scooting close to Sophia to brush the hair from her brow.

The girl nodded. "I like when you smile. You never did when we lived with Ed. I'm glad you're happy now."

A little piece of her heart broke for what her daughter had seen and heard over the years. "I am too, baby. Are you happy?"

"I really am, Mama. I hope you have a nice time with Daryl on your hunting trip."

Carol pulled the blanket up around her daughter's shoulders and leaned over to place a soft kiss to her cheek. "I'm sure I will. You stay close to Merle, and when you spend the night with Lori and Carl, make sure you stay in her sight. Remember to be aware of your surroundings at all times like Daryl and Merle showed you."

"I promise, Mama," Sophia replied earnestly. "And I have my knife and my bow in case there's trouble. Merle said I could shoot Ed in the other cheek if he tries to mess with me."

Carol bit her lip to keep from laughing and tried to adopt a stern expression. "No, you may not. Seems I'm going to have to have a word with Merle Dixon. You are only allowed to shoot at targets and walkers. Do you hear me, Sophia?"

The girl smiled. "Yes, Mama."

She kissed her daughter once more before grabbing her pack. "I'll see you tomorrow, baby. I love you."

Sophia yawned and hugged her pillow. "Love you too, Mama."

Daryl was waiting for her, standing shoulder to shoulder with Merle at the edge of camp. "Merle, did you tell Sophia she could shoot her father in the behind?" she asked, looking through her rucksack one more time to make sure she hadn't forgotten anything.

"No," the elder Dixon hissed menacingly. "I told her she could shoot Ed in the ass if'n he tried t' mess with 'er."

For the first time, she noticed Daryl hadn't moved. He barely seemed to be breathing, yet when she stepped closer to him, he was radiating tension and barely contained anger. She opened her mouth to scold Merle, but then she happened to see what had her friends so focused in their rage. Ed was sitting in his lawn chair across the path openly returning their stare with one of his own.

When her ex-husband saw he had her attention, he rose clumsily to his feet, still sore from his wound. "Carol …"

Daryl's arm shot out, roughly pushing her behind him as he and Merle formed a human shield around her. "Don't even think about it, y' piece o' shit," Merle growled lowly, his hands caressing the rifle in his hands. "Jus' give me a reason."

Carol rested her hand at the small of Daryl's back, his head whipping around to show her she had his attention. "Let's just go, Daryl. I don't have anything to say to him, and I don't want to hear any of his lies. Please."

"Carol, can't I just talk to you for a minute?" Ed asked in a civil tone as he took a step closer.

Daryl raised the bow in warning. "Y' heard what she said. She don't want t' talk t' your sorry ass."

The man's eyes flashed hotly. "You can't keep Sophia from me, Carol; she's my daughter too."

Carol felt the breath hitch painfully in her chest as she squeezed herself between the brothers to gape at him. "Excuse me!? Now you want to claim my daughter," she hissed, her chest heaving with outrage. "You've never wanted to be a part of her life, and now that we're free of you, I'm going to make sure you stay away from her!" She made sure to keep her temper. She didn't want Sophia to wake to this confrontation.

"Carol, you're my wife. I'm even willing to take you back after you've been whoring with this trash."

Both brothers started across the path, consumed by their tempers. Carol pulled at Merle's sleeve, but he shook her off, so she jumped on his back to hopefully slow him down. "Woman, are y' crazy!? Get offa me!" he bellowed.

Carol wrapped one arm around his neck, holding tight. With the other, she reached out to grab the strap of Daryl's rucksack still on his back. He was able to get in a good punch before her voice penetrated the red haze of bloodlust clouding his vision.

"Stop it! Both of you. Do you want to wake Sophia and have her see you out here brawling?"

She loosened her grip from Merle's throat, released Daryl's pack and slid down to her feet. Merle's grip tightened on the rifle. "Why don't I just shoot 'im? Ain't like anybody would miss 'im."

"No, he doesn't deserve such a kindness, Merle." Carol speared Ed with an icy glare and slid her wedding band from her finger. "I don't really care what you say about me, Ed … but do not lie to people claiming I'm your wife." She tossed the little circle of gold in the dirt at his feet. "I was your slave and your punching bag, but never did I feel like your wife. Now fuck off. Leave me and Sophia alone or next time … next time I won't stop my friends from killing you."

The big man stumbled back a step at the venom in her tone. She'd never had the audacity to speak to him like that before. "This ain't over, bitch."

Merle yanked him forward in time to meet Ed's already broken nose with his fist. "Oh, yes, it is!"

Daryl spat at Ed's feet and took Carol's elbow in a gentle grip. "C'mon, we need t' get goin'."

She didn't give Ed a backward glance. She felt strong, empowered and ready to face what the future would bring. A future with her new family … one which had taken an apocalypse to find.

*.*.*

"Y' ok, woman?" They'd been trekking slowly through the woods, climbing a bit higher up the eastern face of the mountain the quarry was situated on before he'd calmed enough to even ask.

Carol kept her gaze on her feet, trying to study how he managed to move so quietly through the trees without making a sound. "Yeah, I am. It felt good to stand up to Ed. I'm coming to realize I don't need to be afraid, that I'm not alone anymore."

He huffed a short laugh. "I ain't never seen nobody ballsy enough t' jump on Merle like that without gettin' beat t' death. He must really like y'."

"I can't believe I did that," she groaned.

"A'right, get up here with me. Y' ain't gonna learn nothin' trailin' behind me," he said, changing the subject. He didn't want to dwell on Ed, and he wasn't about to tell her how proud he was of her. His stomach, as well as his tongue, twisted up in knots and he couldn't get the words past his teeth.

Carol laughed softly. "Well, I'm trying not to scare off all the game."

"Y' won't." He motioned her forward and dropped to his haunches. "Tell me whatcha see."

"Um … Leaves?"

"Thank you, Madam Obvious," he drawled, shaking his head. "Bad as Merle. Y' not seein' because y' got too much goin' on in that head o' yours."

"I'm a woman, Daryl; in case you hadn't noticed," she teased. "My mind never stops even in moments of peace. Before all this happened, I'd spend my days cleaning, cooking, washing and keeping the house in order. I'd make sure Sophia was kept to a schedule, all the while making sure everything ran smoothly so nothing out of the ordinary would incur Ed's temper. When I did have a moment, I would be making lists … Grocery lists, to-do lists …" Her voice trailed off as she thought of the other things which had clouded her mind, none of them good.

Daryl didn't say anything, giving her time to put herself to rights and come back to him. "Close your eyes," he said when he had her attention once more. "Keep 'em shut, an' tell me what y' hear."

Carol did as he asked and drew in a deep calming breath. It actually did bring her a sense of peace to be able to let go. She had nothing to fear with him at her side, and she could focus on the beauty of nature which still existed in this one small piece of the world. "Birdsong … rustling leaves. Almost …"

"Almost what?" he whispered, mesmerized by the gentle smile on her lips.

"Is it possible to hear a breeze?"

"Not really," he chuckled. "Jus' th' sounds of whatever it disturbs. Ok, what do y' smell?"

Carol took a deep breath, focusing on the rich deep cadence of his voice. The man was positively sinful. "Pine, musk … Something damp? Water? Maybe it's going to rain."

"See, y' can focus when y' try." He rose up to his feet and urged her to follow. "And no, it's not s'posed t' rain tonight. Y' smelling' the creek up ahead. Now that y' clear-headed, I might be able t' teach y' somethin."

*.*.*

Merle slept in that morning, knowing Sophia wouldn't leave the tent except to find a convenient tree. He woke to find she'd tidied their belongings and was sitting on her bedroll with a book.

"Whatcha readin', Peach?" he asked around a huge yawn as he rubbed sleep from his eyes.

She shrugged, tossing it aside. "Nothin' good. Some gothic crap with an obsessive vampire and the senseless twit of a heroine who …" She paused dramatically, resting the back of her hand against her brow and adopting a lovesick expression. " … will simply perish if he doesn't claim her as his own."

His mouth fell open and his brows shot up. "Th' fuck?" He snatched it up and frowned down at the couple on the cover locked in a passionate embrace. "Where th' hell y' get this?"

Sophia shrugged. "I think Jacqui loaned it to Mom, but she hasn't had time to read it."

"Think I'll hold onto it for y'," he said, stashing it in one of his packs. "Don't want yer mama comin' back an' findin' y' readin' such trash. I'm sure I'd catch hell fer it."

"What d'you want to do today before bow lessons? We could walk down to see what everyone's up to and maybe grab some lunch," the girl suggested, grinning.

Merle arched a brow at her. "I think y' jus' wanna hurry down t' see that boyfriend o' yers."

She snorted. "He's not my boyfriend. Boys are gross."

Merle reached for his boots. "Make sure y' keep thinkin' that way, Peach. It'll make all our lives a lot easier."

Merle rubbed the back of his neck as the hot sun beat down on them, late summer giving them no respite at all, and early autumn would be no better. He'd left the rifle behind, a 9mm glock tucked into the waistband of his jeans. He was in the kind of mood where he almost wished someone would piss him off and give him an excuse to shoot them.

"You got itchy underwear or somethin'?" Sophia asked as they stepped into the large area where the communal campfire was located, taking a seat next to Carl.

"No! And m' drawers aren't yer concern, little miss."

He nodded to Jim and Dale where they stood next to the open hood of the RV, but it was Amy's sullen tone which caught his ear. Shane dropped down onto a camp chair next to him and rubbed at tired eyes.

"I just don't know why it has to be you. You always go," she complained, her head falling into her hands.

Glenn nudged her shoulder. "I always go, and I always come back. I don't know why you're so worried. Besides, this isn't an ordinary run. And we're just talking about it right now. Nothing's for sure yet."

"Y' goin' on another run?" Merle asked, taking a bottle of water from Sophia.

Glenn shrugged. "There's a good bit of stuff the group needs … better camping equipment, a few more camp stoves, sterno, clothes, maybe some guns and ammo to equip ourselves. We've compiled a list a mile long. I could sneak in, grab what we need -"

Amy cut him off with a steely look in her icy blue eyes. "You're not going alone!"

Shane balked at that suggestion. "Hell no, he's not. Ain't nobody goes alone on a run; I don't care how good you think you are."

Merle made a point to ignore the former deputy. He scratched his chin, wondering over the way Sophia was frowning as if she were lost in thought. It was never good when her little brow wrinkled like that. "Where y'all thinkin' of goin'?"

"In the heart of downtown Atlanta!" Amy screeched. Her little fit of pique was beginning to draw a crowd. "You know where they have that big department store? Lots of smaller boutiques and restaurants?"

"That place is sure to be crawling with geeks," Hector commented. "We'll need manpower."

"I can't believe you're seriously contemplating this," Amy argued. She gasped in surprised horror when her sister chimed in behind her.

"I'm in," Andrea stated calmly, her clear blue gaze daring her younger sibling to object.

"We really going to do this?" Glenn asked. "Because I still think it would be easier for just me and maybe one other person to slip in and out rather than a whole group."

"No," Shane shot him down again. "Y'all could carry more and be back much more quickly if you took a group."

"Merle …" Sophia tugged on his arm. "You should go too. They need you."

"Are y' crazy, girl? All o' them're about as useful as a one-legged man at an ass kickin' contest. They're all gonna get themselves bit."

She gave him a pointed look, trying to reason with him. "That's why you need to go. You need to be there to protect them. They might be good at scavenging, but they're gonna need someone to watch their backs."

Merle twined his large fingers together and tapped his thumbnails one atop the other until Andrea was glaring daggers at him. "Ain't none o' them assholes want me taggin' along, Peach. 'Sides I already got a charge t' look after."

"Ed's not going to mess with me. He's too afraid of you and Daryl." She crossed her arms stubbornly over her chest. "You need to go, Merle … Please? I'll be safe here with Shane and Dale to keep an eye out for me."

"They ain't the most vigilant fuckers, y'know," he argued, his gut tied up in knots at the thought of leaving her with limited protection. "What if Ed finds a way t' grab y' and leave. It'd be hard as hell t' track a car, Peach."

"I got the knife at my belt and one tucked in my shoe. Oh, and I may have given your spare to Carl," she confessed with a wince.

"What? Does 'is mama know? Cuz I'm not catchin' hell from Queen Bitch if she finds out where it came from. That shit's on you."

Sophia grinned slyly. "So, does that mean you'll go?"

"Ok," Glenn said, eyeing everyone as they continued to plan who would be going on the run. "So that's me, T-Dog, Morales, Andrea and Jacqui. Anyone else?"

Merle gave Sophia a long hard look and groaned inwardly, feeling like a fool for caving in to the whims of a twelve-year-old. Not to mention Daryl was going to be pissed at him for leaving Sophia with Shane to guard her. He slowly raised a hand. "Yeah … I'm prob'ly gonna regret it, but count me in too."

*.*.*

Carol followed his careful - albeit slow - instructions and wrinkled her nose as her knife slid between muscle and fur. He was insistent she learn how to gut and skin the game he provided. Once he taught her the finer points of Merle's rifle, she would be able to help with the hunting. It wasn't that he needed her help, but in the event they might be separated, she needed to be able to survive on her own.

"Wasn't so hard, was it?" he asked, taking the hare from her and shoving it onto a makeshift spit over their campfire. He trimmed at a piece she'd missed, and she instantly began to fidget, rubbing at the back of her neck. "Carol, stop. Y' did a fine job."

She nodded and reached for her pack. "What do you want to go with it?" She held up two single serve tupperware dishes. "I got mac and cheese or leftover mashed sweet potatoes."

He snatched the dish from her and ripped the lid off. "Where'd y' get mac and cheese?" he asked, digging in with his fingers in his haste to get at what was becoming a treat nowadays.

Carol shook her head. "I traded with Lori. She was delighted with the chicken I gave her for the mac and cheese. I know how you love it."

Daryl paused mid-chew. "How'd y' know? Y' ain't never cooked it for me before."

"Merle told me. You were out hunting, and we got to talking about our favorite foods. Sorry I don't have any hot dogs to go in it."

He matched the smirk she wore. "Don't knock it. Sometimes all I could find in th' fridge was a pack of hot dogs. They go just fine with mac and cheese in a pinch."

"Ed had an unhealthy addiction to Spam." Carol wrinkled her nose in disgust. "I couldn't abide the smell. Now it would probably be considered a delicacy."

Daryl licked his fingers clean and set the dish aside before giving the rabbit a turn on the spit. "Shouldn't be too long 'til we have some real meat," he mumbled, pointing at their dinner roasting over the fire. "Betcha miss th' days y' could just run out t' th' store for a pack o' steaks for th' grill, huh? This is how I've always kept myself fed."

Carol ducked her head, trying to get him to meet her gaze. "I miss the convenience, yes. It was easier to have all that food to choose from, but I wouldn't want to go back to that life. If the world hadn't gone to hell, I never would've met you." He finally looked up to regard her steadily with smoky blue eyes. "You're the best friend I've ever had."

His mouth struggled into some semblance of a smile, but faded just as quickly. He turned the spit again and fell silent. Of course, Carol had an ingrained need to chatter at times, now being one of them.

"What are we going to do tomorrow?"

"Huntin', trackin', same as t'day. I'm hopin' I can find some larger game, a deer maybe. Think the group might like that," he shrugged, not caring one way or the other. As long as his little family didn't go to bed hungry.

He split the hare in half, and they ate silently. Carol still ended up giving him what she couldn't finish. "I can't, Daryl. You eat it."

He did, only to prevent an argument between them. It was no fun camping out with someone with whom you were angry. "You don't eat enough," he grumbled.

"I eat plenty," she grinned at him over her shoulder as she gathered their dishes and headed towards the creek they'd been following for the better part of the day.

Daryl trailed after her, his bow resting heavily in his arms as he made a sweep to secure the perimeter of their little camp. Now they'd finished with dinner, and with the twilight coming upon them, he couldn't get his brother's taunts out of his head. Braying jackass was all he was. He'd slept next to Carol since he'd brought her into his tent. Nothing was going to happen just because they were alone.

But not for lack of wishin' and wantin'. Fuck!

Even if she did want him in return, there were numerous problems he'd have to face, the least of which were his scars. She'd turn away from him in disgust or worse … she'd ask for an explanation, and that was just something he didn't think he'd ever be ready for. Then there were her own past issues with abuse. If they were ever able to get past that, he didn't want it to be just some fling. Or some itch that needed to be scratched. Damn Merle for even planting the idea in his head. But damn if it wasn't sprouting into a sapling.

Why am I even thinkin' about this?

Because y' know y' gotta bed down with y' woman, and Sophia ain't gonna be sleepin' on th' other side o' her. She'll curl up against y' with 'er soft lips pressed against y' neck and her hand sneakin' inside of y' shirt, so she can touch bare skin and -

"Daryl, are you alright? I asked if you wanted me to take first watch."

He wondered if she'd think it strange for him to take a dip in the cold creek. He wasn't in the habit of bathing while on an extended hunting trip. Had he mentioned that to her? Would she be suspicious?

"Uh … no, no I'll take it. Y' go ahead and try t' get some sleep."

Carol bit her lip as a worried frown knitted her brow. "You're sure you're alright?"

He nodded, keeping his body turned away from hers. "Fine. I'm gonna do one more sweep an' then … Go t' sleep, woman!"

She watched him stalk off through the trees, wondering why he'd gone from pleasant to downright grumpy. It couldn't be for the same reason she was sure to get little sleep that night.