A/N: Hello everybody. I'm back.
So, 1. I am sick. I have my exams atm and right now, I'm going into school for the exams and then being shipped off home - so apologies right now if what I'm writing makes no sense.
Also, for some reason my PM and review reply thing just won't work. I keep trying to send messages and nothing goes through, then when things finally say they've sent, they don't appear in my outbox. Also my inbox is faulting up, so my account is basically shit, or I am...or both. Either way I am stuck. So my most profound apologies for those of you who I haven't responded to. I am trying. If you have questions/answers/responses/beta-schtuff for me, please do try and send them again. I am not trying to be ungrateful, I just genuinely break all forms of technology with my presence. :L
Sorry.
Also, I know my updates are crap. I would apologise but I have my reasons. (Hospital visits for myself and family, exams, etc. You know, all that usual, but true, crap we people always say...unfortunately, I do have a life now)
But, yey update for now. It is my birthday in a week and a bit ..the 7th...Holla!. Also, Chris's birthday looked awesome. I want a party like that!
Anyhoo...here we go!
Kurt shot up in the bed, sending a sharp shooting pain up from the base of his spine and tingles down his scars.
His breath was coming out in shallow pants and he had a thin layer of perspiration dripping from his hair line. Suddenly the images from his nightmare flashed across his vision and he froze.
Oh God.
His working hand came up to rub at his neck as he glanced around the darkened room. Lord, what time was it?
Slowly, very slowly, he shifted in his place; trying to rid his body of some of the pain, and almost wishing he were back on the intense medications of previous days. Blinking wearily, he scanned the room for any signs of life, and, finding none he sighed and slumped his head back against the wall, sending an agonizing sting down his back as his pulse began to climb.
Great, just great. Not only is he about to shit himself from what's he's pretty sure was the most terrifying dream he could possibly imagine, but he's pretty sure he's also about to have a panic attack and there's no one here to calm him down.
Fuck.
Blaine sat awkwardly across from Burt; his fingers toying with the lid of his coffee cup that just wouldn't fit back on. The awkward clicking sounds coming from the plastic being the only noise either man was making.
Burt slurped at his tea, eyeing Blaine shiftily, as if waiting for the kid to say something, but Blaine was doing his best to ignore the older mans silent presses. Hell, he's only just stopped crying. His eyes were still red rimmed and his cheeks still raw from the salty sting of his tears. There was a slight tremor in his right hand and his gaze kept darting around as if he were some nervous wreck, being sure to focus anywhere but on Burt.
The hospital cafeteria was nearly empty by this point.
There was the odd visitor perched on the edge of their chair, nibbling on snacks purchased from the vending machine, an elderly woman asleep in the corner and every so often one or two doctors could be seen grabbing coffees from the counter before hurrying off to their shifts, but despite this the room was eerily quiet.
The sound of clinking cutlery on china and the odd chair screech was the only thing to break the silence, that and the occasional squeak of shoes on the shiny plastic floor.
Blaine tried, without success, to calm himself down, yet somehow his body wouldn't let him. Whilst yes, he had stopped crying, all other aspects of his usually controlled persona were still on an emotional high and he honestly felt far too overwhelmed to really do anything other than sit, on fear that otherwise the waterworks would start up again.
At this however, Burt was not impressed.
He kept an eye on Blaine at all times, watching the boy, sizing him up, judging him. He had watched the tears flow and done his best to banish them, hoping that that would allow the boy the breath to speak; to tell him what he knew about Kurt. But nope.
Not a word had left Blaine's lips since the pair sat down- 20 something minutes ago – and that was beginning to grate on Burt's nerves.
'Look kid.' Burt finally said, startling Blaine out of his stupor and causing him to knock the plastic lid of his coffee to the ground with a loud clack. 'I'm not trying to be harsh, but I gotta be straight with you here. You need to tell me some stuff, right? Because it seems to me that you know a hell of a lot more about what happened here than I do...and considering I'm Kurt's father, that just isn't on.'
Blaine's Adams-apple bobbed in his throat as he gulped. His eyes flickered up momentarily to meet Burt's before he cast them back down to his coffee cup in what looked to Burt like...shame?
'I-I-I-I-I-I' he wavered, his voice cracking. 'I-I-I...Mr Hummel, I-'
'Just be straight with me kid. Just...Just tell me what you know, Ok? That's all I'm asking for, because Kurt sure as heck won't tell anybody, let alone me.'
Blaine nodded and swallowed again, letting his throat clench around nothingness and his nostrils flare.
Slowly, he brought his eyes up to meet Burt's. He was expecting a face of anger, of frustration, of contempt but instead he was met with a cool collectedness, a small smile and a genuine expression of caring.
That's what caused Blaine to stop shaking. That look of caring that made him feel so much stronger than he could otherwise have felt. That's what caused him to calm down and breathe and that's what caused him to finally...finally speak.
Kurt felt the tremors shoot down his body, every nerve ending suddenly on fire and burning, burning, burning, burning.
No. This couldn't be happening. Oh god, not now. Why now?
The scars running all over his back and down across the rest of his body were alight with pain and Kurt suddenly found himself short of breath again. Every gasp he took getting shallower and shallower until he couldn't breathe at all. His throat felt tight with some phantom pressure squeezing down. He could see flashes of light and images of yellowed teeth and that grotesque smirk flicker before his eyes- ever changing and evolving into faces and expressions and oh god kissing.
Kurt coudn't take it. Oh God...no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!
Make it stop, make it stop.
Kurt clamped his eyes shut and gasped for breath...then he screamed.
Blaine sat there with Burt for what felt like forever, but must really have only been a dozen or so minutes, spilling the events in his life that had occurred over the past month. The older man's eyes watched carefully, and he made no move to comment until Blaine had finished. Blaine's speech was rushed, his words coming out in strings rather than syllables and half of what the teen said didn't even make any sense, but Burt was still thankful. At least he was finally hearing something. Finally understanding what had led to all of this in the first place.
Blaine told him of Jeremiah. Of Kurt and his argument over said man and of their friendship as a whole; about how strained their relationship had been getting.
He told Burt about what he said to Kurt, and what Kurt had said in return. Not missing out a single snide comment or insult that he could remember.
He spoke about what had happened after Kurt went missing, and what had happened after he had rung Burt to alert him to the fact.
He even talked about Nick, Jeff and his trip to the Gap with Robert Sterling and then repeated what Burt already knew, which was what had happened when the police found Kurt and Blaine arrived on scene.
Burt would nod every so often, listening carefully to what the teen said and God, did he have to bite his tongue at some points to keep from interrupting, but he managed to stay quiet throughout.
Until of course Blaine got to the end of his spiel and just started ranting about how guilty he felt.
'I just...I know what happened, and God it was awful and everything just went completely out of control and I just can't even believe it some days and it just makes no sense, but for some reason I keep thinking it's my fault- God, I know it's my fault, because I was the one with Jeremiah, and I was the one who made him jealous and do all those thin-'
Burt's eyes narrowed as Blaine spoke, and he quickly held up a hand to cut the boy off.
'Hold up' he said quickly, and Blaine froze mid sentence, his mouth hanging open comically. 'What did you just say?'
'I...' Blaine cocked his head, his eyes sinking to gaze at the table. 'I said if I hadn't made him jealous then-'
Burt forced his hand out again and Blaine trailed off once more. 'Look kid. We spoke about this before.' Burt said, his expression moulding into a rather condescending grimace. 'I know my son, and whilst yeah, you were an insensitive idiot, which we'll get to later, you didn't make him do that. Kurt may be rash, and he does stuff without thinking sometimes, but that...what happened there, that was him. I don't want to admit it, but it was my sons fault he met with that guy, Not his fault he got kidnapped, but his fault that he gave that...person...the means to do it...wait, no...damn it, It sounds wrong however I say it, because none of this was his fault...not really, but God kid, I don't want you blaming yourself either.'
He leant forward and laid a hand on Blaine's shoulder, causing the teen to jump a little.
'What's done is done Blaine, we can't change it now. All we can do is work towards helping Kurt get better. We...' Burt sucked in a breath and held it for a moment, before exhaling with a slow drawn out sigh. 'We've gotta make my son better Blaine, we've got to. I can't see him like this, it's killing me and I know that... God all this is damn near killing him too, it already got far too close. I'm not going to lose my son Blaine. I'm not.'
At this Burt's fingers clenched around the fabric of Blaine's jacket and formed a death grip around the material. Blaine glanced down at the bunched fabric on his shoulder and gulped. Despite Burt clearly displaying such deep emotional instability, Blaine still couldn't help but feel this was all a ploy so Burt could kill him without suspicion, and God, the strength of Burt's grip on his shoulder now was actually scaring him.
'Umm...Mr Hummel.' Blaine said slowly, his own hand coming up to try and extract Burt fingers from his shirt. 'I'm...I'm sure Kurt will get better...he's...he's the strongest person I know. He just- He's overcome so much and-and I know this is something so much bigger, but God. If anyone could come out of this for the better it would be Kurt. I just know it sir.'
Burt sighed and looked up to meet Blaine's gaze. 'You're right, son. Kurt's...he's something else isn't he.'
'Oh.' Blaine said with a small laugh. 'That he is sir. That he really is.'
When Burt hears the wistful tone suddenly slip into the teen's voice he feels his heart stop. He knows what that sounds like and he's not quite sure what to think of it.
He stares at Blaine for a long moment and takes in the boy's appearance. From what Burt knows, the kids a pretty decent guy, he's easy on the eye...if you're into that kind of thing, and he knows he's talented...but God...he didn't think he'd have to face this now, not here and most certainly not like this.
'Blaine.' Burt asks, cutting the boys coffee cup trance. 'Are you and my son...you know?' At his Burt gave a little shoulder shrug and rolled his hands in what must have been a telling gesture...if of course you had any idea what he was going on about.
'Are we...are we what?' Blaine questioned, genuinely unsure as to what the older was asking.
'Are you...Hell...you know?'
'I'm sorry sir, I really-'
'Oh for God's sake. Are you and my son together? Are you in a relationship? Are you a couple, dating, any of that?'
At this Blaine blanched.
'Oh-Oh God.'
Burt didn't look impressed.
'Well?'
Blaine shook his head hysterically. 'No...No Mr Hummel, Kurt...he hates me right now. You saw...he, he wants nothing to do with me. Oh god, no...We...No, we aren't. Definitely not. '
'But you want to be, correct?'
Again, Blaine was pretty sure his stomach had evacuated his body and he had begun to feel positively nauseous at this line of conversation.
'I...I-I-I, I don't...I mean to say, that is, if he would...I guess, umm...I-'
'You know that's pretty much a confessed yes there?' Burt asked with a simple stare.
'I...'
'If you're going to continue to look like a deer in headlights then I won't push the subject, but I need you to know that I will take no bullshit from you in regards to my son, ok?'
Blaine started to nod frantically.
'I want to help you Blaine. Because when you boys first met, Kurt was a genuinely happier person, and I want that back...but you've got to understand what is happening here. You can't just expect to jump straight in here. God knows you couldn't anyway with how Kurt reacts to you, but he should hopefully get over that sooner or later. It's-' at this Burt seemed rather lost for words. '-The other stuff that will be his main hurdle. Not only are his injuries extreme and almost life threatening, but the emotional trauma this has had on him...the doctors tell me that some people never recover from that kind of thing. Kurt's strong but...'
Burt let the sentence hang, not quite sure he wanted to finish it, especially when he knew Blaine has got the message anyway.
'You won't be able to do anything with him for a long time, and i mean that in both physical and emotional senses. The err...the doctor tells me that any great increases in his umm...brain chemical levels and stuff...can cause him to have really bad flashbacks, he only really has them in dreams as far as we're aware. At least, that's what the night nurses say when they see him...but he won't talk to anyone, so we don't know how to help him. But...things you say to him- especially is you two are emotionally attached, could have a far greater impact on him that the same thing said by anyone else.' Burt's fingers began to drum on the table and his other hand, recently removed from Blaine's shoulder, came back down to rest on his knee. 'Don't expect to touch him or anything either-and i mean kissing there, not...anything else- with his injuries and memories and all that, he doesn't want human contact much at all at the moment, and that doesn't look set to change for quite a while. So...'
Burt paused and shook his head in a gesture only he really understands.
'Look kid.' he said after a moment or so's hesitation. 'I need to know you're not gonna just run off when stuff gets hard... i think you owe it to yourself and Kurt, to see this through, Ok? You could help him so much Blaine, but your could break him just as easily. Just please...if you're going to do this, do it right. For everyone, Ok?'
Blaine didn't reply for quite a while. His expression remained as neutral as he could hold it, but inside his mind was whirring. It took him a good few moments before he seemed even remotely ready to formulate his reply to Burt.
'Mr Hummel.' Blaine started slowly, taking a sip from his now cold coffee and retching at the taste. He coughed, then cleared his throat. 'Umm..right...I...look, as soon as Kurt is willing to speak to me, as soon as that happens, I will be at his side constantly, doing whatever I can to help him. He means...so much to me, I can't- I won't let him go through this alone. No one deserves that, least of all him.'
'You're a good kid Blaine.' Burt said with a barely there smile. 'A good kid. Out of all those kids at that school of yours, I guess I'm glad it's you that's after my son. You've made a lot of mistakes, but that's part of life. I'm not gonna say I'm glad you made them, or that any of that stuff is acceptable, I think it was damn awful half the time, but I won't say it was unavoidable. Just...focus on the future. Kurt's a great boy, I'm sure he'll forgive you. I know my son and...he will, Blaine. I know he will.'
Blaine let the hint of a grin tug at his lips and he ducked his head.
'Thanks Mr Hummel. You're a great father.'
Burt chuckled. 'I know kid. Kurt used to tell me as much every god damn day.'
Kurt's voice resonated with ear splitting pitch throughout his room. His throat burned as the air left his lungs; rushing out and carrying the scream further and further until the nurses came running.
In all the commotion at least half of Kurt's 'machines' had started beeping like crazy. His heart monitor was going mad and another one had started blasting out a deep thrumming noise with an ever increasing volume. One of Kurt's drips had been ripped from his wrist and the sling his leg was hanging in had been twisted almost violently, causing further screams to spill from the boy's lips. Blood had begun to trickle out from one of the gashes on Kurt's arm which he had caught on the edge of the bed and it was now soaking into the sheets below, increasing the boys distress. It was a never ending cycle.
It took two nurses to hold Kurt to his bed as another struggled to get his drip reinserted. Slowly but surely the chemicals oozing into the boys system began to take effect and the screams began to die down- although that could have been because he simply ran out of breath. However a couple of minutes later, once new gauze had been carefully wrapped around Kurt's open wounds the boy finally slumped back in his bed and let his eyes slip shut.
Breathing out a sigh of relief, the nurses patted the boys head lightly; ruffling his hair, and made to leave, when two figures standing by the door caught their attention.
A rather tall blonde boy, with a small grimace, whose eyes were fixed on Kurt and an older man, who looked enough like the boy to be his father.
One of the nurses made to speak, but she was cut off before she had a chance to begin.
'Your colleagues downstairs sent us up here.' Said the elder male. 'Said something about visiting hours being now...though perhaps we better wait a while.'
He stepped into the room, surveying the now unconscious boy in the bed and extended a hand to each of the nurses in turn, flashing a smile at the pair and nodding politely.
'The names Robert Sterling.' He said as he clutched the palm of the second tightly in his own. 'And perhaps one of you ladies would like to tell me what the devil is going on!'
A/N: Hoorah, the Sterlings.
What do you lot see happening in the future now? I love talking with you guys about it.
But anyway, enough about that...it's over – not the fic but Glee of course – and my lord, what a roller coaster. These last few episodes were wonderful (a little bit crap on the screen writer's behalf, but our lovely cast were tremendous) However, not gonna lie, the whole Kurt and NYADA thing.. Just...Just No.
Not happy Glee, NOT Happeh!111!
I shall do my best to get some more writing done, though I am feeling terribly uninspired at the moment, but still, I shall try.
I now bid you farewell, until we meet again...
Ta Ta For Now.