Sesshomaru picked at the blanket. "This blanket is itchy..."
Inuyasha sighed, rubbing his face irritably. "Yeah & this bed is uncomfortable. Why the hell are we here again?"
"Because it's the closest motel to our house. Because it's the only extended stay in the area. Because it's surrounded by restaurants. Because if we go home we'd probably die from the chemicals" the inuyoukai said robotically.
It'd been three days since they semi-moved into the extended stay hotel not far from where they lived. Sesshomaru had called an exterminator to come & do a very thorough job & the guy said they might want to consider moving out until the chemicals have had a chance to clear out. At the time he was willing to do anything to kill that monster cockroach & he didn't want to be the one to do it so he agreed to it & at first, he didn't mind living at the hotel. It was nice; not too fancy, not shabby. But slowly he began missing home & having only one room, he got bored very quickly.
"Have you heard back from any jobs?" Sesshomaru asked, trying to distract himself from the boredom.
Inuyasha shook his head, frowning. Searching for a job was becoming a job. He didn't have a degree since he decided college just wasn't for him & now he was beginning to think that'd been a mistake. What was so wrong with him that most jobs didn't even want an interview? He had experience in management but the job always made it seem like he was just reaching way too far. Not even fast food restaurants wanted to hire him. He was always either under qualified or over.
His boyfriend shifted on the bed. "What about Spencer's? They're the sister company to your Halloween store, right?"
"Yeah. Their hours are down though. The managers are only bringing in 30 hours a week & they're supposed to have more than 44. Didn't think it was worth it"
"Hn. Well there's always warehouse work-"
"No. You may not work everyday in a warehouse. If production is down they send people home & generally, the newest employees get cut first"
"A Chipotle is opening up by my jo-"
Inuyasha stood abruptly. "I'm goin' outside"
The hanyou stalked outside their room door & leaned against the balcony railing. Sliding a cigarette out of his pack, he lit it & closed his eyes as the smoke burned the back of his throat & lungs. He knew Sesshomaru just wanted to help. With their mortgage, utilities, car insurance & credit card due dates coming up, he needed all the help he could get which made the hanyou nervous. The bonus he received from Spirit Halloween came in last month & the entire thing went towards their mortgage. Sesshomaru brought up that maybe he should go back to work since his maternity pay wasn't as much as he'd get if he went to work but Inuyasha was afraid the work would put stress on the baby. Even if he did find another job right now, he wouldn't even receive his first paycheck until after the bills were due. What were they going to do?
Inuyasha half turned his head to look over his shoulder when he heard their room door open & shut.
"You should stop smoking" Sesshomaru said quietly.
"Easier said than done" his mate grunted in response, taking another pull & exhaling into the wind.
"But when the baby comes-"
"I know, I know"
"Let me finish! I understand you're stressed & you are not sure how to convey the emotions that you deal with everyday but you have to think about the health of our baby, Inuyasha. About my health"
Inuyasha took another drag before responding. "Look, ain't nobody ask you to come out here & be around the smoke"
"It's on your clothes, Inuyasha, & I inhale it everytime you come back inside!"
The hanyou straightened & flicked away the cigarette butt with irritation. He knew Sesshomaru had a point. But what was he supposed to replace smoking with, chewing gum? Yeah, not exactly the same release cigarettes gave him. "When you have a hard time finding a job & don't know why the hell you even get up in the mornings then you have to find a way to cope, Sessh"
"When you are endangering your boyfriend & baby's life so you can have an excuse to pout then you need to reevaluate your priorities" Sesshomaru said in a low voice before he went back into their room.
This was definitely not the first time they've had this argument. It came up every once in a while, sometimes not as harsh, sometimes it was as cutting a newly sharpened battle axe. Inuyasha was sick of it. At one point he'd had two jobs & that was when he began smoking. It was stressful & he never quite caught up on his sleep so he quit one; it wasn't bringing in much money anyway. Then he got the job at Spirit Halloween & that brought in the money he'd made at both jobs so he quit the other one as well & just stuck with the Halloween store. At the end of the season he knew he could go to Spencer's so he never really considered finding a second job again. Now he was seriously regretting it.
Inuyasha sighed & stuffed his hands into his pocket before he went back into their room & shut the door. Sesshomaru glanced up him then looked away, at his laptop where his fingers never stopped flying over the keyboard. A crazy part of Inuyasha vaguely wondered if he was sending that Naraku guy a response.
...
Four days later they were able to go back to their home. Oddly, it smelled like freshly squeezed lemons, which was pleasant, & it made Inuyasha wonder what was so bad about it that they had to temporarily move.
The couple hadn't really spoken to each other since their...debate the other day on the balcony. Inuyasha wasn't sure if he or Sesshomaru were mad at each other...maybe annoyed...or bothered or upset with...but mad was too strong of a word. Sesshomaru just...didn't understand what it was like to have to really search for a job that met the requirements you were looking for. He didn't understand how much of a toll it took on you on top of worrying about all the bills they had & getting ready for a baby. & babies were not cheap nor could they be returned. No one was really financially prepared for a baby in their life & the couple sure as hell wasn't right now.
"Know what you want for dinner?" Inuyasha asked quietly, looking in the fridge.
"I don't care" Sesshomaru responded, flipping through the mail & setting the ones with his name on it aside.
"Pizza sounds good, eh? Kinda in the mood for some finger food"
"It's up to you"
Back at square one. He already missed the super calm, really nice, acutely specific about what he wanted to eat Sesshomaru. "Look-"
"We don't have to talk about it, Inuyasha"
"No actually we do cause not talking about ain't gunna make it any better"
"& neither is talking about it, apparently so let's not even waste our time with idle chat"
Inuyasha blew out a frustrated breath. "It's not exactly easy to just up & quit smoking"
"I don't want to hear excuses!" Sesshomaru snapped, turning to him, his beautiful face etched with angry lines, "If you really wanted to, you actually could. Millions of people have done it"
"Well I ain't millions of people, Sessh! I'm only me & me is stressed! This is how I deal with my stress! You read your wack ass novels & sing your little heart out to deal with & I smoke!"
"Singing & reading is not detrimental to my health & my baby!"
"Our baby!"
"Keep smoking & that would be one less thing you would be stressed about..."
The hanyou scoffed, his eyebrows near his hairline & jaw slack. "So you would keep my child that I helped make away from me over this?"
"I refuse to let my child-"
"It is not just your fucking child! You can't keep me from my fucking child, Sessh, cause I ain't gon' let you! It is not just up to you anymore!"
"You are not going to endanger this child nor I anymore!" Sesshomaru shouted, throwing down the piece of mail that had been in his hand.
The hanyou looked up at the ceiling & bit his lip. "This was exactly why I didn't wanna talk about it..."
The silver haired beauty gathered his mail before turning a wicked glare in his boyfriend's direction. "This was exactly why we needed to"
.
Inuyasha glared at the last cigarette in his pack. This had to be his last one. It was destroying his body & his family & right now, he really needed both. Another week had already rolled around without a peep from the jobs he'd been applying to & Sesshomaru said he was going to go to work tomorrow. The hanyou felt the self hatred burning in his throat as his boyfriend practically begged his manager for overtime, offering to come in on the weekends & for Martin Luther King Jr. Day for overtime pay. Inuyasha hated it so much; being out of a job was forcing his pregnant boyfriend to work when he should be laid up with some snacks & something on Netflix playing. He hated it. He hated himself.
Inuyasha took a slow drag of his cigarette. He didn't even remember lighting it but that was something he was used to. Usually he wanted one so bad, the only thing he could think about was getting up to his mouth as quickly as possible to feel that burn & taste those awful chemicals eroding his throat & lungs. He hated this too, the fact that it was just so hard to stop. As the Alpha, he should've had better self control but instead he was succumbing to a fucking cancer stick fifteen or sixteen times a day all because he was stressed. He hated it. But he felt like he couldn't help it.
But he had to stop now before the baby came cause he knew how extremely fragile a newborn's immune system was. Sessh would never allow him around the baby smelling like burnt tobacco & lost self control. He would never even think to go around the kid like that then their child would grow up thinking Inuyasha didn't want anything to do with him. What if Sessh just decided to leave him? For good? All over some cigs. He wouldn't allow that to happen. He couldn't.
The front door opened & Sesshomaru peeked out, frowning like he was confused until he saw Inuyasha sitting their on their patio set. He seemed like he was about to say something until he noticed the cigarette in the hanyou's hand & his lips bunched up in anger.
Inuyasha clenched his teeth. The journey never starts until you take your first step. He dropped the half done cigarette on the ground & stomped on it. When he turned back to his boyfriend, Sesshomaru looked wary.
"I'm done" Inuyasha murmured, "For good"
Sesshomaru stared at him a while longer before he smirked & nodded once. "Good"