A/N: Heyo peepos! Nice to see you all back. I apologize once again for going missing (I feel like all of my AN's are apologizing for my AWOL tendencies). But, I have a new chapter for you! I was inspired to continue by jojo22outtheregirl, who is THE BEST. Love her to pieces, and this is for you and all my fans and readers!
Roxas POV
Okay. Okay. So I agreed to come to Axel's house. That's normal. So he lives quite far from where I do, killing the option of possibly walking home. No problem. So his mom isn't home right now, and she won't be until late into the night, leaving us alone. I'm not freaking out. Who's freaking out? That's certainly not my heart pace accelerating to exponential speeds. And I most definitely did not sound squeaky or wheezy when he told me to wait in his room. Oh no, not me. I am calm. Like snow floating down slowly from the sky, or a warm summer breeze in a field, the calm of the sea at the break of dawn.
…no, as a matter of fact, none of these poetic analogies are helping me.
I take a few quick deep breaths (can deep breaths be quick? Is it not considered a deep breath if you do it too fast? Why am I even thinking about this?) and decide to distract myself with my unfamiliar surroundings. The walls, surprisingly, are a pale white, but unsurprisingly, you can barely see it from around all the posters he has up. Bands, movie posters, some cool artwork is plastered all over his room, leaving barely an inch uncovered. His bed is against the left wall, and he has a black comforter, red sheets, and way too many pillows for his own good. The little dresser next to his bed is littered with change, receipts, chargers, and things I don't even know. I'm slightly tempted to look in his drawer, but that's a total invasion of privacy.
The door opens while I'm still deciding where to sit. The bed is out of the question. His computer chair, maybe if it wasn't on the other side of the room. The floor's probably my best bet, he's got a carpet down.
"Hey," he says walking in. He's carrying two soda cans. Using his foot, he shuts the door behind him. Why is he shutting the door? It's not like anyone's home. Maybe it's just a force of habit. Or maybe he's trying to-!
Mind, let's stop right there. Axel is our friend. He is not here to bring any harm to us. But if my heart goes any faster, I might start hyperventilating. "Hey."
"Dew or Doctor?" he asks, holding up both my options. I choose Mountain Dew and he tosses it towards me. Looking down at me he shrugs and opts to sitting on the floor as well. I decide to distract myself with opening my soda can. The tab pops off on the first pull back.
I'm going to ignore that.
"So…you were going to tell me what happened today? With you?" I offer. It feels kind of awkward sitting in his room. This is not what I had planned today.
Axel takes a sip from his Doctor Pepper before answering me. "Yeah, but…it's hard to explain." Well, before pretending to answer me.
I'm about to chew him out for being an evasive little bitch, but my eye catches something that I somehow missed when I was evaluating his room earlier. "Is that…Brawl?"
He looks surprised for a second, probably wondering where that change in subject came from and nods his head. "Yeah. I've played all the Super Smash Brothers since the 64. You brawl?"
"I've been playing since it came out. Mostly by myself since Sora sucks at it and hates to lose."
"You saying you any good?" he asks with a smirk.
"Well, I wouldn't say I'm good. More like a Super Smash God." I rub my nose in fake-modesty.
Axel has already gotten up and is setting up his Wii. Well, I wouldn't say I wasn't hoping for that, I sort of egged him on with that one. It's just something to take my mind off of everything that's happened today. I'm still not sure why he called me to his house or what this 'hard to explain reason' is, but I'm not going to complain about the distraction.
Apparently, Axel is a Smash God himself. We've been Brawling for hours. Somewhere along the way between the trash talk and snide remarks, we actually started to have a conversation. We weren't talking about anything important, just joking around with each other and recalling funny events. His group of friends sound absolutely insane. I want to meet them.
"He really did though!" Axel says, trying to make me believe that Demyx ran a lap around the track butt-naked their freshman year on a dare. I'm laughing so much that I'm not even paying attention to the game. Axel takes this opportunity to finish me off.
I gape at the screen as it shows Luigi doing his winner's dance. "You did that on purpose, you bastard!" He's chuckling so much, I kick him in his side. "You cheated."
"What? How did I cheat?" He's wiping the tears from his eyes.
"You distracted me by making me laugh!"
He smirks at this. "I didn't realize it would be so easy to do so. Usually you're all frowns and sarcasm, but," he says, and pauses to tickle me in my side. I try to hold it in, but my efforts are futile. I'm extremely ticklish in my side. "You're all laughs and giggles today."
"You-hahaha-you're horrible-hahahahaha-I swear when I get my-hahaha-oh god, stop, I can't-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Damn it, he found my sweet spot. With the game forgotten, I roll back on the floor while he hovers over me, and I try to roll away, but he's got me pinned under him.
He's finally decided to stop being a monster and is letting me catch my breath. He hasn't moved from on top of me, and I realize that we're practically laying on each other. Aaaaaand there goes my composure. I glance away and use every ounce of my strength not to blush. It's so not working.
"So…" he starts awkwardly. He's still half over me, waiting for…what is he waiting for?
"What…what did you want to tell me?" I ask, suddenly serious. He may be waiting for something, but I'm sick of the stalling.
"Roxas…I already said it's hard to-"
"NO!" I push him over so our positions are reversed. He looks at me shocked but I don't care! "I'm sick of the run around from you, and everyone around us! They keep telling me things that I don't understand and you keep making me feel things I don't understand, and all of this is driving me crazy!"
"Roxy-"
"Why are you doing this to me?! Why am I here, why are you so interested in me, why do you-!" I abruptly stop in my rant. Axel's looking at me with the same confusion, but there's something under that too. Something that has always been there that I never noticed because of my constant self-absorption in my own matters. It's hard to describe, it's like he looks at me like I'm a rare treasure. He's always smiling, but he sweats as if he's nervous. And he jokes around about being "possessive" and "jealous" over me. It's almost like…
"Axel…do you like me?"
He doesn't say anything, but I can see him visibly gulp. I can feel his body heat rolling over him and seep into the air, choking me. But I can't stop. I have to know.
"Axel. Do you like me?"
Without a moment's hesitation, he sits up and pulls me into him. I lose my balance and end up sitting in his lap. I'm about to complain, but I bite my tongue. He's squeezing me tightly with his head resting low on my shoulder.
"Yes," he chokes out into my shirt. "I've liked you…from the day I met you. From that first day in X, you stole my attention, and I met you again and again, and each time, I fell for you more and more. I…I get so nervous with you around me, but so insanely happy at the same time. I get lonely when you're away and jealous when you're with someone besides me. My heart speeds up and my breath catches that every time I see you, I don't know what to do with myself. And I'm so sorry for touching you that day, but just seeing you compels me. And I know I'm an asshole most of the time, but it's just a pretense that I fall back on when I'm trying not to act like a total spaz around you, because I don't want you to think I'm crazy, or just after your body. And I know you have that rule, where you don't date or whatever, but I just want you to give me a chance, cause all I want to do is make you happy."
…somewhere along that long confession I had put my hands on his back. Even though I had kind of beat it out of him, he had just told me how he truly felt. And god damn, did he tell me. "Axel…"
"Please don't say anything. I don't think my heart can take it right now," he responds. His grip tightens for a few seconds before he gently pushes me away, but not off him. "Just-give me a few more minutes before you go."
Enough. "Axel. Axel, look at me." Hesitating, he peeks up from where he's been inspecting the floor next to my foot. "Listen…I'm, really grateful for you telling me all of this. I know it must have taken a lot." He snorts and I slap him on his chest. "And I also think, that this is probably, if not a little disoriented, the sweetest thing to happen to me."
He chuckles at that. "So you don't think I'm an absolute loser?"
"Not an absolute loser. More like slightly geeky," I say while smirking.
"Really? Aren't I suppose to be the most popular kid in school?" he laughs.
"Hey, I never said that, Yuffie did." I sigh with a smile on my face before looking back at Axel. "I don't really know what to say. I mean, I know I do feel some type of way for you that goes beyond friendship, but I can't explain it. I don't know if it's 'like' or frustration or what." Axel has a calm face on as he listens to me poorly explain my feelings. Not everyone can be as thorough as him with speeches. "So I can't answer you right now. And I know this is a sorry excuse for a response but…it's the best I can come up with."
We stare at each other for a minute, not sure what to do. I want to get off of him, but I don't know when the right time to do that is. I guess he notices because he chuckles and pushes me lightly so I can sit back on the floor.
"Thank you Roxas. For coming over and listening to me."
"No problem." I'm glad Yuffie talked to me earlier. It was a good decision to hear him out. Now I know what the hell's been going on. Turns out he liked me all along!
…yeah, my brain's running on auto-pilot for now. I guess seeing Axel all frazzled for once is calming me down enough not to explode into a mush-ball of feelings.
"So…does this mean I still have a chance?"
"What?" I say from the sudden question.
"You can't asses what your feelings towards me are. But that's right now. Does that mean I have a chance in the future?"
Okay, not where I was going with that. But technically… "I guess?"
"Yes!" he cheers. And now he's smiling like a fool.
"Look, but seriously, I don't want to give you false hope. I'm totally slow, words are not a thing I do, and half the time, I can never understand what's really going on-"
"Yeah, I could tell. You couldn't even tell I've been flirting with you this whole time."
"I thought you were joke-flirting!" He's laughing. And I think it's at me. Bastard.
"Don't worry Roxy, I'm not going to pressure you into anything you feel uncomfortable with. But be prepared, because I'm coming at you full force to get you to fall head over heels, like you did me," he explains triumphantly.
And the blush is back. I cover my face with my hands and blubber on about how I don't understand why he likes me, there's nothing good about me, and you know, self-loathing garbage. He just pulls my hands back and stares me straight in the eyes with those emerald jewels.
"Roxas, you're wonderful, and half the world would kill just to hang out with you. But you see, I'm already filling that spot, so they're all just going to have to wait."
"For how long?" Wait, am I playing along?
"Mmm, forever, since I'm not giving up," he says slyly.
"Forever's a pretty long time, think you'll be able to win me over before we get that far?" I cannot believe I am reciprocating his advances. I just told him that I didn't want to give him false hope.
"Don't worry. I'll have you by that time." He winks and gets up to throw away the two empty soda cans. I'm left more confused about my feelings than when I entered this room.
We're quiet on the drive to my house, but it's comfortable. My mind's racing a mile a minute going over everything that happened in intense detail.
He lingers in the car when we get to my house. Guess he's not ready to say goodbye. To be truthful, I'm not either.
"Thanks for driving me back," I say to break the silence. "Believe it or not, I had fun today."
"'Believe it or not'? Were you expecting it to be a nightmare?"
"No, but I just…"
"Didn't expect me to emotion-vomit all over you?" he chuckles.
"You didn't…ew, that's a horrible metaphor. And what I was going to say was I didn't expect it to turn out so fun."
"Well, that's good then. That it did."
"Yeah," I respond. We continue to sit there, neither of us making a move.
"Is it true?"
I jump slightly at the sound of his voice cutting through the air. "What? Is what true?"
"That you don't date."
I stare at him a moment. I do remember him mentioning that in his speech. He must be refereeing to that time back in one of my X concerts, where I said that…
"It's not that I don't date," I say simply.
"Then what?"
I really don't want to talk about this. "It's just that I'm a heartbreaker." I open my door and step out of his car. Before slamming the door shut, I thank him for driving me back.
Walking up to my front door, I can hear him roll down a window. I turn back at the call of my name.
"I don't believe that! And no matter what, until you flat out reject me, I'm not giving up!" he shouts out the passenger side window from the driver's seat. I blush at what he just yelled from in front of my house.
"Don't say I didn't warn you!" I rush into my house without looking back. But once I am inside I do peek out the front window to see him drive off down the street.
"You're home late."
I jump for the second time in the past five minutes. I turn to see my mother, who' drying her hands on a dish towel.
"Uh, yeah. Sorry. I told you I stopped by a friend's place." I take off my shoes and head into the kitchen.
She follows close behind me. "I know. Was that him in the car out front just now?"
"Yeah, he drove me back."
"…he's cute."
"MOM."
"What? I'm just saying. If you guys are going to hook up-"
"Mom, please stop," I beg as I slam the fridge door after taking out a water bottle.
"Honey, I told you I had no problem with you or Sora's sexual preference. As long as you're using protection-"
"I'm done having this conversation." I storm away, leaving her in the kitchen. When I get upstairs to my room, I slam the door shut and lock it. I pull my iPod and headphones from my bag and turn the volume on max. I didn't want to think anymore today. I had screwed up by telling Axel about my rule. I couldn't help that he already knew, but I could have played it off at least. Now I have to think about how to explain that. I haven't even started thinking about how I feel about him! And now he's going on attack, and I'm the deer in the headlights, just waiting to be hit. I just…really don't think I'm ready for this. Not after what happened last time. I hurt so many people…I don't think I can handle hurting anyone like that anymore. But maybe Axel was different. Maybe Axel could heal what no one knew was still hurting me.
Oooh, what's Roxy past all about? Guess you'll have to wait to find out!
Chriss-Meister~