Chapter Thirty-Five

Carol smiled as her eyes fluttered open to find Daryl sound asleep, his face resting in the valley between her breasts. She didn't think she'd ever seen him smile in his sleep like that before. She pressed a kiss to his crown and his arms tightened about her waist, but he didn't wake. The sated heaviness of her limbs was still with her, even after her nap. He'd been right. She had needed a respite. She still couldn't believe she'd been able to let him touch her like that. What was even more surprising was the fact she'd enjoyed it so much. She'd let go of her fear, putting her faith in him, and it had made all the difference. She wondered if it would be just as easy when he was better and wanted more. But she wasn't going to worry herself into a panic. She trusted him with every fiber of her being. It would be different this time.

Her fingers carded through Daryl's soft hair, holding him closer. She'd never get enough of being this close to him. And he loved her. When the hell had that happened? He was like a drug, and she a willing junkie. She knew he valued her friendship, just as she knew he'd begun to want more. Her heart had been lost to him long ago. So much so, Jenner had been able to see through her mask to her feelings for Daryl. He'd planted that seed in her mind, and it had only grown until she could see the truth of those feelings. But she'd never thought Daryl would return them. Caring and friendship, but not love. She was almost giddy with glee.

Carol reached for the sheet twisted around Daryl's hips as the door opened and Lori poked her head in, but she was unable to cover his scarred back before her friend saw the evidence of his past. Lori covered her mouth with a hand, her eyes riveted to the pair in the bed. Carol gently extricated herself from Daryl's embrace and padded silently to the door, ushering Lori out into the hall.

The brunette turned on her as soon as the door closed, her voice a furious whisper. "Oh, god, Carol. What the hell happened to him? His back -"

Carol shushed her, taking her hands in hers. "His father was not a good man, Lori. Please … please don't say anything to anyone. Hershel and Rick have seen them, but it's not something the entire group needs to know. Daryl is very sensitive."

Their leader's wife shook her head. "No, of course not. I promise I won't say anything." But she decided then and there to put forth more of an effort to be nicer to him.

"Was there something you needed?" Carol asked quietly. "I have to check on Sophia, but then I'm all yours."

Lori brightened as they ventured down the hall towards the kitchen. "No, not really. I just wanted to let you know Shane's showing signs of waking up. Hershel is optimistic about his progress. Oh, and Maggie was looking for you."

Carol squeezed her hand before letting go to pour them each a cup of coffee. It seemed like the Greene girls kept a fresh pot no matter the time of day. She could see Carl and Sophia playing in the backyard, their happy laughter a soothing balm for her soul. "I'm so glad. I know what it would do to Rick if something happened to his partner." She added non-dairy creamer and sugar and passed it to Lori. "And how about you, hmm? How are you holding up through all of this?"

Lori stared down into her cup for a long moment. "Fine. He's still my friend, Carol."

"I know. You look a little pale; have you eaten?"

"Yeah, I had a sandwich for lunch." Lori smiled knowingly. "Stop worrying."

"Nope. You're my friend. I'm always going to worry," Carol chuckled.

Sophia and Carl charged through the back door, bows over their shoulders, looking for a cold drink as they opened the fridge. "Hi, Mama! Rick set us up this huge target on the fence. And Carl finally hit the bullseye!"

The boy rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well you've had yours longer than I have," he grumbled. "Just wait 'til Daryl teaches us how to use our guns. Bet I'm gonna be a better shot than you."

Sophia snorted, and leaned back against the counter as she sipped her soda. "Keep tellin' yourself that, Grimes."

Carol and Lori shared a laugh. She was surprised Lori wasn't upset at the thought of her son learning to use the .38 Daryl had given him.

"C'mon, Sophia. Dad wants us to help Dale fix the awning on the RV."

The girl groaned. "Well if you hadn't shot a hole in it, we wouldn't have to help patch it."

"It was an accident!"

"Yeah, whatever." She tugged on his sleeve. "C'mon, Robin Hood."

Carol sat back and sipped at her coffee. "Rick sitting with Shane now?"

Lori nodded and rubbed an idle hand over her stomach, the coffee making her a bit queasy. "Yeah, he said I needed a break." She leaned forward, her elbows on the table. "So, how are things with you and Daryl? You two looked mighty cozy in there."

Carol's blush disappeared into her hairline. "Things are good," she said, trying to sound casual when her heart was racing just thinking of his hands on her body.

The brunette arched a brow, a wide grin spreading over her face. "From the looks of that blush, I'd say things are better than just good."

Carol shrugged one shoulder. "Very good?"

Lori shook her head ruefully. "I'm so happy for you. Or rather, I'm happy Dixon makes you happy."

"He really does," she murmured softly.

"Lori! Lori, Shane's awake. He's asking for you," Rick huffed, skidding to a halt in the kitchen. "C'mon!"

Carol rose to follow them, but Maggie bustled into the kitchen through the back door, a dead chicken held in either hand. "There you are. Are you still up for teaching me that dish you were telling me about last night?" she asked hopefully. "I really don't want Glenn to think I'm completely useless in the kitchen."

Carol sighed, casting the young woman a warm smile. "Of course." There really was no end to the needs of the group, and she thrived on it. She retrieved an apron from the hook inside the pantry and tied it about her waist. "You seem to have taken a shine to him."

Maggie tucked a stray lock of chestnut hair behind her ear as a blush stole into her cheeks. "Is it that obvious?"

Carol moved over to the sink and began pulling feathers from one of the chickens. "There's nothing wrong with being attracted to someone, Maggie. And to be honest, I think he's quite taken with you."

"You could say that," she mumbled, her blush deepening.

"Oh?"

"I kinda had sex with him," she blurted out, turning to face her new friend.

Carol's eyes went wide as she lost her grip on the fowl. "I beg your pardon?"

Maggie covered her mouth with both hands. "We went on a run to town this morning for more medical supplies for Dad and … we had sex … right there in the pharmacy. Oh, god!"

Carol washed her hands and dried them on a clean dish towel before she pulled Maggie over to the table and made her sit down. "Alright, take a deep breath before you hyperventilate," she urged, talking her down from the beginnings of a full-blown panic attack. "Now I have to ask … is this a one-time thing, or do you really care for him? I know you haven't known him long, but sometimes that doesn't matter."

"I think I really care for him, and it scares me to death. I mean … with the state of the world, we don't know how much time we have left. I didn't even think; I just acted," the woman murmured dejectedly. "But then when we were done, I found myself thinking I didn't want anything to happen to him. I want to know him, Carol. I know I'm crazy. God, you must think I'm a total slut. I mean who starts a relationship in the middle of an apocalypse?!"

Carol raised her hand. "Guilty, and no I don't think you're a slut."

"What?"

She sighed. "Daryl and I haven't been together long. Two months, maybe."

"But Sophia?"

"She was from my previous marriage … if you could even call it that," Carol said bitterly. "My husband was abusive, and it was hard to hide anything from the others, especially when we're all practically living on top of one another. Daryl took exception to how Ed treated me and convinced me to come stay with him and his brother in their tent. They protected me and my daughter until the camp was attacked and Ed died."

Maggie's brows scrunched together in sympathy. "Rick introduced y'all as a family. And I've heard Sophia call him Dad."

"Because he prefers to think of us that way. Just another ruse to offer protection. Or at least that's how it started."

"You're in love," Maggie said simply. Seeing the Dixons so happy, even amidst the chaos, gave her hope. "So, you don't think I'm crazy for wanting to get to know Glenn better?"

"Who am I to judge when I've done the same thing, Maggie? I would say love and hope, and happiness are a rare treasure, and now more than ever it should be cherished as a gift. Otherwise, why are we still here? What reasons do we have to keep going?"

Maggie reached out and hugged her new friend. "Thank you, Carol. You don't know what it means to hear you say that."

Carol hugged her in return and then pulled away. "Come on. We've got a dinner to prepare," she smiled.

The girl hesitated, looking a bit worried. "Please don't tell my dad, ok? He doesn't think I should get close to any of you."

"I know he doesn't want us here, Maggie, but you can't imagine how much we appreciate it. For him to take us in and care for Shane, and then again for Daryl," Carol said.

"Well, I'm glad you're here. I don't like the circumstances, but I believe it was God's will for y'all to be here." She moved to the sink and began working on the second chicken. "He's trying to do his Christian duty, y'know."

"And you want us to stay, right?"

Maggie nudged her with her shoulder and grinned. "I like having y'all here. Not just for Glenn," she assured her quickly. "All of you. It's nice to have new friends."

Carol smirked. "Especially ones who can teach you to cook?"

"Well, it helps."

*.*.*

"I thought you said he was awake," Lori said as she sank down in the chair next to the bed.

"He's slowly regaining consciousness." Hershel hovered nearby, tucking the blood pressure cuff back into his bag. "It's going to take a while for him to be fully lucid, but it's a start. Give him time."

"At least he's out of danger," Rick said, sitting on the edge of the mattress. "Right?" He looked to the older man for reassurance.

The doctor nodded. "Yes, he's going to recover. If you will excuse me, I'll let the rest of your group know."

Rick's smile was genuine and filled with relief when he reached out and squeezed his friend's hand. "After everything we've all been through, I couldn't stand the thought of losing him too," he said quietly. "I know we argue, but it's how it's always been with us since we were kids."

Shane's grip tightened on Rick's hand, and his eyes rolled rapidly behind his lids. "Lori … Lori, where's Carl? Got to … got to protect him," he wheezed. "C-Can't let Rick down."

Her eyes filled with tears and she laid her hand on his wrist, so they were both gripping him, offering comfort and support. "I'm here. Carl's safe. Don't worry about us," she said, her voice trembling with emotion. "It's ok."

"Come on back to us, man; we need you," Rick added.

"Lori … I'm sorry," he murmured, and they had to lean closer to hear him. "I love you …"

Rick snatched his hand back as if he'd been burned, his hardened gaze flickering over to his wife, taking note of her bloodless face and wide eyes. "What was that?": he asked, his voice barely more than an agonized whisper. "Did he just say –"

"We're not doing this here," she insisted. "Whatever is going through your head right now … It can wait until we're outside."

"So, there is something to talk about?"

She wiped a tear from her cheek as the door opened and Carl stuck his head in, his little face wreathed in smiles. "Dad, Hershel said Shane was better!"

Rick schooled his features for his son. Carl didn't need to know of the turmoil brewing with hurricane strength inside him. "He is, buddy. He'll be waking up soon."

Lori hugged her child close to her, stalling for time. "Me and your dad need to talk, baby. Do you want to sit with Shane for a while, so we can take a walk outside?"

The boy beamed up at his mother and took her seat, pulling a comic book from the back pocket of his jeans. "Sure, Mom."

The pair nearly collided with Daryl on his way to the kitchen, but Rick kept going, storming through the house until he could fling himself out the back door. Lori murmured a quick apology, and ducked out behind him, following him across the yard. She was prepared for his anger, had even braced herself for it. The abject hurt in his eyes, the horror of betrayal as he turned to face her. It was a kick to the gut. His obvious pain left her speechless, and more than a little sick.

Rick stared at her for a long moment. "I think I knew from the beginning." He took a deep shuddering breath. "The way he'd look at you … the longing. I could see it. I guess I just didn't want to believe it."

"Rick –"

He held up a hand. "You thought I was dead," he rasped. "You moved on."

Lori crossed her arms over her chest and hung her head, surreptitiously swiping at the tears streaming over her face. "It wasn't like that. I was grieving, scared … I needed to feel something other than how terrified I was, Rick. He was your friend, someone I could trust, especially after he'd risked his life to get me and Carl out of King County. He was there for me, and I didn't feel so alone. I was drowning in grief!"

He paced before her, his mind awhirl and his heart in pieces. He wanted so badly to hate her, to push her away. "D-Do you love him?"

A sob tore free of her as she watched him break, and she stepped closer, resting her hand over his heart. She shook her head furiously. "No. No, Rick … I love you. When I saw you at the quarry, all I could think of was how? How had you survived? How was it you had managed to come back to us? Nothing else mattered aside from the fact you were alive, and I had my husband back."

His hand rose to cover hers. "I never would have stopped until I found you, Lori. You and Carl … you're everything to me. But I need to know … I need to know you're not still sleeping with Shane."

Her face twisted with the turmoil brewing within her, the guilt of what she'd done still weighing on her. "No. It's over. It's been over since the moment I saw you that day in camp, and Shane knows that. He promised not to say anything because it was a mistake, and we didn't want to hurt you. I'm committed to you. I love you."

He didn't want to admit he was afraid. How was he going to show the group he was a strong leader if he couldn't even show stability in his own personal relationships? And despite what she'd done … he still loved her with his whole heart. "I can't hold you responsible for something you did when you thought I was dead."

"Please, Rick," she whispered, her lower lip trembling. "Please let us start over. I'm so sorry … please."

*.*.*

"Why are you out of the bed?" Carol asked, her eyes wide to see Daryl standing there in the doorway. "You're supposed to be resting."

"I'm good," he drawled, making his way over to where she was standing at the stove to peek into the pot she was stirring. "Hershel checked my wound an' said I could get up. 'Sides, I was goin' stir crazy in there."

"I'm glad to see you're doing better, Daryl," Maggie said, her arms covered in flour to the elbow. She smiled as she dumped another handful of dumplings into the pot of broth on the stove.

Daryl nodded with a jerk of his chin in her direction. He leaned in close to Carol so only she would hear. "Ain't she th' daughter that cain't cook?"

Carol stifled a laugh. "She just needs some assistance."

"Y' see where Rick went? Him an' Lori 'bout knocked me down in th' hall," he asked, peering out the back door. "Nevermind."

Carol shifted over to his side. "Daryl! Don't spy on them; it's not nice."

"S'that right? Whoever said I was nice, anyway?"

She smirked and leaned up to kiss his cheek which made him blush with the other girl in the room. "I happen to know just how nice you really are, Dixon," she purred.

He ducked his head which brought his attention back to the bickering couple outside. "That shit looks serious. Think she finally came clean with 'im about Deputy Dolittle?"

She pulled him away and shut the wood door. "It's none of our business, Daryl. Let's just hope whatever it is, they'll be able to work it out between them."

Maggie frowned and leaned closer to the window to look out at the couple. "She's crying, Carol. Are they having marital troubles, y'think?"

"Maggie!"

"Sorry. I just really like y'all. The group … y'all are all close even though the lot of you seem to have nothing in common," she observed. "I hate to see them so upset." She gave the pot a stir. "Can you watch this for a minute. I want to ask Daddy if I can invite you all to have dinner with us."

"You don't have to do that. It was enough you let us store our perishables in your freezer. We can cook outside," Carol insisted, not wanting to wear their welcome even thinner. "And your father has done so much for us as it is. We don't want to impose."

Daryl leaned over the pot again, his eyes closing in bliss as he smelled the contents within. "Speak for yourself, woman. I want a bowl o' this when it's ready. I can't remember th' last time I had chicken 'n dumplin's."

Carol snorted. "Don't listen to him. He's ruled by his stomach."

Maggie laughed. "I'll be right back."

He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled Carol into him the second Maggie skipped out the door. She sighed as his lips teased along her neck. "Didn't like wakin' up an' you not there with me."

"I stayed as long as I could."

He grumbled incoherently.

"What was that?" she chuckled, running a hand through his shaggy hair.

"I don't like wakin' up an' not knowin' where y' are." He didn't care at the moment if he sounded insecure. He wasn't used to having a relationship, and he was still adjusting.

"Never too far you won't be able to find me, Daryl." She knew how hard it was for him to allow her out of his sight. This new world was so uncertain, and his biggest fear was losing someone else he loved. "There's not too much trouble I can get into here on the farm, y'know."

"Pfft," he scoffed, sitting gingerly in one of the kitchen chairs. "You an' our girl are danger magnets. There's always somethin' y'all can get into."

Andrea followed Maggie back into the kitchen, wringing her hands nervously. Not at all a common occurrence with the blonde. He arched a brow at her as she sat down at the table. "How're you feeling?"

"Not too bad, Blondie."

She winced as she took in the deep groove her bullet had made in the side of his temple. It was healing, but would no doubt leave a scar. "I'm so sorry I shot you."

He leveled her with a calm look. The hour he'd spent with Carol that afternoon had done wonders for his mood. "Stop. You were protectin' the group. I know how I musta looked when I came outta those woods."

"There was a glare on my scope," she shrugged.

"Then you shouldn't have fired," Carol said, turning to look at her friend. "You don't have to prove anything, Andrea. We love you; you're a part of us."

Maggie glanced over her shoulder where she stood at the sink washing a large cabbage, but didn't butt in.

"Listen t' her," Daryl nodded at his woman. "She's right. Ain't nobody gonna kick y' out if y' don't find your place. Hell, I threw squirrels at Rick an' then went after 'im with m' knife. I'm still here."

"I just wanted to apologize. I need to go. I have watch with Dale."

Daryl eyed her steadily as she rose from her seat. "It's a'right. But y' shoot me again … y' best pray I'm dead."

*.*.*

Tensions were high that night at dinner. Carol could hardly stomach what was on her plate, and it seemed to her Daryl and the children were the only ones not affected by the strife prevalent in the air. She found herself wishing Maggie hadn't pushed the envelope and convinced her father to let them join the Greene family for dinner. She would much rather have had a quiet dinner with Daryl and Sophia around the campfire. Maybe she'd feel better once they were enclosed in their nylon abode later that evening. Daryl had refused to spend another night in the house, and even though she'd miss the softness of the bed, she knew she'd be more at ease – as would her hunter – in more familiar surroundings.

Maggie beamed under her father's praise of her new culinary skills, but it was Glenn's quiet acclaim which had her blushing with pride. She'd reached over and squeezed Carol's hand in silent thanks, and Carol couldn't help but feel proud for the young woman.

Amidst the tension, everyone still seemed to put away an obscene amount of the food she and Maggie had prepared. The immense pot of chicken and dumplings was nearly empty, and they were making progress with the cabbage, corn and sausage balls. Carl was going to hurt himself if he didn't slow down. But the group knew what it was like to go without, to wonder when they'd find their next meal. Daryl was already talking about taking the children hunting with him. They needed to learn, after all.

Rick talked quietly with Hershel, and ignored Lori altogether. Carol already had plans to talk to her the following morning. Glenn and Maggie were casting doe eyes at one another. If they didn't stop, there'd be no hiding the budding relationship from the girl's father. T-Dog and Dale were chatting amiably with Patricia and Otis about helping out with some of the farm chores planned for the following day, and Sophia had her head together with Beth talking about things they missed in school. Her daughter really had been a science and math nerd, and though the girl complained about lessons Carol and Lori still forced on her and Carl, she knew Sophia loved it.

Hours later, once the dishes had been done and goodnights had been said, Carol was finally allowed to relax in the comfort of the tent she shared with Daryl and Sophia. The girl had barely made it to her bedroll before she had fallen asleep, leaving Carol to sigh and curl up next to Daryl's warm weight.

He smiled down at her just before he claimed a soft kiss. "What're y' thinkin', woman? Y' been too quiet all evenin'," he murmured softly, not wanting to disturb Sophia.

"Hmm? I was just thinking about how much I like it here. I'm enjoying the tranquility," she said honestly. "But I'm worried about how long Hershel's good will may last."

"Rick's tryin' t' talk him into lettin' us stay for a while, but I don't think it's goin' so good." Daryl glanced over at Sophia as she snuffled softly and curled against her mother's back. "Y' want stability for Soph. I understand that more than y' think."

"As much as I wish this was the answer to our prayers, it's not. I know we need to find a better place. We need walls, Daryl; something we can defend. If walkers ventured this far … a herd the size we met on the highway … we wouldn't stand a chance." She soothed a comforting hand over his side, her fingers tracing the edge of his bandage beneath his shirt. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to sound so morbid."

He hummed low in the back of his throat. "It's th' truth, though. I need t' start trainin' th' group. Me an' Rick need t' make sure they at least have a basic knowledge of th' weapons we have on hand. An' once my side heals, I wanna show you an' Soph some things … hand t' hand techniques. Walkers ain't th' only evil out there."

"I'm so proud of you," she whispered softly as he pulled her closer.

"Why?" He still couldn't quite understand how she saw so much more of him than what there was.

"Because you're beginning to find your place, Daryl. You're starting to see how much we all need you. You're not running from them any longer."

Daryl buried his face against her throat, feeling sleep pull at him. "For you, woman. I jus' want y' t' be happy. Nothing else matters t' me aside from you and Sophia, but I can see being with th' group does that. As long as they treat y' right … we'll stay."

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Being you." Her fingers teased along the tense muscles at the top of his spine and she could feel the strain slowly draining from his body. "I love you."

Just before sleep claimed him she heard him whisper, "Love y' too."

A/N: Next time: Shooting lessons, a dip in the pond, and Carol discovers a secret.