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Chapter 3
The pain was excruciating. He heard Snoke, "weak minded, come back Kylo Ren. You will have to do better than this."
Ben, his name was Ben. He was in the Falcon. He made a choice. Kylo Ren was no more. He was back to being Ben Solo. His father put music on, loud music that he remembered clearly. Sometimes little Ben welcomed the voice because his mom and dad stayed with him. Daddy would play the music and dance around with him.
Ben moved around, not quite dancing but moving. He needed to be exhausted for the pain to recede. He needed to sleep like the dead. It was the only time when Snoke would give him reprieve. Ben almost cried when thinking that this could be the rest of his life. It could not be. He was strong. He would find a way to resist Snoke. He needed to find a way; when he was stronger. He was on planet. He would find a way.
Ben moved around and it became hot. He was sweaty and felt as if he could not breathe. Ben chucked his robes, cowl and shirt. He moved to that other song. Ben smiled at that one.
"Welcome to the jungle we've got fun and games
We got everything you want honey, we know the names
We are the people that can find whatever you may need
If you got the money, honey we got your disease
Jungle, welcome to the jungle
Watch it bring you to your shun n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n knees, knees
Uh, I, I want to watch you bleed
Welcome to the jungle we take it day by day
If you want it you're gonna bleed but it's the price to pay
And you're a very sexy girl, very hard to please
You can taste the bright lights but you won't get there for free
In the jungle welcome to the jungle
Feel my, my, my serpentine
Ooh, I want to hear you scream
Welcome to the jungle, it gets worse here every day
You learn to live like an animal in the jungle where we play
If you hunger for what you see you'll take it eventually
You can have everything you want but you better not take it from me
In the jungle, welcome to the jungle
Watch it bring you to your knnn knne knees, knees
I'm gonna watch you bleed
And when you're high you never ever want to come down
So down, so down, so down, yeah
You know where you are?
You're down in the jungle baby
you're gonna die
In the jungle welcome to the jungle
Watch it bring you to your shun n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n knees, knees
In the jungle welcome to the jungle
Feel my, my, my serpentine
In the jungle welcome to the jungle
Watch it bring you to your shun n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n knees, knees
In the jungle welcome to the jungle
Watch it bring you to you
Its gonna bring you down, ha!"
Leia hated these songs. She said that they were too adult. Little Ben had sung them without knowing what they meant. He would sing along and hope for sleep.
Ben heard songs for about four hours before his body gave up. He dropped to the bed. The man did not know how long he was asleep for.
He woke up to a piercing pain in the middle of his forehead. He must have yelled.
"Ben! Ben!" His father yelled.
He continued to yell. "Focus on my face." His father said.
Ben opened his eyes and did. "Breathe."
"Sing along with me." His father said. He felt his hands on his face. His father was in front of him.
"I've had nothing but sorrow
Since you said we were through
There's no hope for tomorrow
How's the world treating you?
Every sweet thing that matters
Has been broken in two
All my dreams have been shattered
How's the world treating you?
Got no plans for next Sunday
Got no plans for today
Every day is blue Monday
Every day you're away
Every sweet thing that matters
Has been broken in two
All my dreams have been shattered
How's the world treating you?
And I'm asking you darling
How's the word treating you?"
Ben sang along with his father. It was old. Ben sensed that it was much older than the ones with more beat. This song calmed him quickly. It always did. He put his head between his knees and cried.
"Dad. I cannot see her. I cannot face her." Ben's head hurt so much.
His father hugged him and kissed the crown of his hair.
"She asked me to bring you back. Your mom may have an answer. We need to figure this out Ben. We cannot play music forever." His father said reasonably.
Ben nodded, "I need to be on planet. How long until the Falcon reaches the resistance."
"Not long. We need to feed you and get you clothes." Han said.
"Go to the fresher." His father said while looking away. Ben was sweaty and needed to sleep. Maybe they could induce him once he reached the resistance base.
His father helped him up once more. "I know how to find my way." Ben needed to be alone once more.
Ben made his way to the fresher. He pushed against the fresher's door and heard a feminine yelp. It was the scavenger.
The man was too weak to appreciate the sight in front of him. She was half naked. Ben went to the toilet and puked the meager contents of his stomach.
The pain was unbearable. "Yell for my father." He said weakly.
"Han." The girl yelled and moved past him.
She was back with FN-2187 and his father. "We need to be on planet." He heaved once more.
Han nodded.
"We will arrive soon." He said and tied his hair back.
"Rey, go help Chewie. Finn, help me up." The man said quickly.
Ben glared at his father. "No." He replied when his father and FN-2187 grabbed him by the arms. He would not be degraded in such a manner.
"Benjamin, get in the shower now. We have less than fifteen minutes to get you presentable." His father said.
Ben did his best glaring and then threw up once more.
"Ready." His father said and pulled him up.
It was a haze. He remembered the feel of water or at least sonic cleaning. FN-2187 grumbled under his breath.
"Thank you Finn." His father said once the showering was done.
"Now, I sent Finn away out of the goodness of my heart. You have to work with me son." He said and started dressing him.
His father combed his hair as well. Ben still felt the splitting headache. The voice was gone but the headache remained.
"Do not tell me where we are." Ben said carefully. "He may work into my head before we arrive and attack."
His father nodded and helped him into clean clothes. Ben looked at himself in one of the panels. These were his father's old clothes, down to the vest. They fit him well.
We have a few minutes before we land. His father helped him to the cockpit.
Ben concentrated on keeping meditating. He needed to have a clear head and fight Snoke's advances. The scavenger girl was in front of him. She looked at him with distrust and some curiosity. He then looked at the traitor. He could not still address him as traitor since he was also one now. Finn, that was the name the man called himself now. There was also mistrust there and also open hostility. The girl tried to look at him like that but she was more curious than anything else.
They landed. The man and the scavenger left first.
His father took his arm. "I doubt she is outside. She has to be at a meeting. We will get her into the medical bay."
Ben nodded, Leia Organa was always in meetings. He remembered endless meetings. Ben had hated the Senate and the New Republic. They took his parents away every time.
Ben felt steady on his feet. All he had to do was make it to the medical bay. He walked behind his father and ahead of Chewie.
His father was correct. She would not be there. He was mistaken. General Organa was there among the rebel ships coming back from destroying Starkiller base.
She ran to them. Leia was smaller than he remembered. Her hair was different; it was grey. She'd gotten older so had dad.
"Oh Ben." She whispered and enveloped him in a hug.
Ben buried his face on her neck. He did not know how he did it but he managed to do it. She should not be able to hold him but she did.
He hugged her back. Ben did not want to see her face. He just wanted to smell her hair and just stay there. The rebels around them watched curiously. Ben did not care.