James glances at the clock, ten to six, Sam will be home in forty minutes. Holly is visiting her old housemates in Liverpool, and its odd to have the house to himself at this time. But Sam should be home soon.
Which is why he's a little confused when the doorbell goes at ten minutes past six. The fire station is half an hour away, and even with no traffic, Sam shouldn't be home yet.
He limps to the door, and opens it to find Sam's superior officer standing on the doorstep. He has a hand on Sam's shoulder.
"There you go lad, home now, in you go." Sam does as he's told, almost on autopilot. James watched him go through, and turns back to the captain.
"What happened?" Sam doesn't look hurt, and if he was, he'd be in the hospital, his superior wouldn't have brought him home.
"We lost one of them today. One of the crew Sam was on got trapped in a building." James' heart sinks, its highly likely that he knows the man, especially if it was one that Sam trained with.
"Who was it?"
"Christopher Jones."
"Shit. Does the family know yet?" The captain sighs, its clearly been a long night for him, and its not over yet.
"I'm on my way to them now, after I've dropped the other lad off." James can readily sympathise with him. Its never a good job to inform someone that they've lost a relative.
"Who was the other lad?"
"Craig Maddison." James, suddenly recalls a conversation he had with Sam a day or two ago. Craig's girlfriend is away visiting a sick aunt.
"There's no one at home, his girlfriend is away." He pauses for a second. "Bring him in here, if he wants to come in."
"Are you sure?" He nods, looking towards the car, and the shape he can see through the blurry windows. He can see enough to know that Craig has his head in his hands.
"Yeah, he's more than welcome here. He shouldn't be on his own tonight." He smiles softly at the questioning look the captain gives him. "I was a police officer, way back in my thirties, I've been here before." The captain nods, clearly deciding that James is equipped enough to deal with two shocked twenty two year olds.
James watches as the captain talks to Craig, he sees the young man nod and get out of the car, and then the captain is steering the fireman towards his front door.
"Come on kiddo, lets get you inside."
He gets both of them sitting on the sofa, and goes to make a cup of tea for all of them. The two young men are pale and quiet. He'd lost colleagues as a police officer, and he knows how hard it is. Even harder if you were there, as Sam and Craig was. He carries the tea back into the living room, and Craig bless him, gets up to one of the mugs off him.
From what he knows of Craig, the young man didn't have the easiest start in life. He's been in and out of foster care since he was three. James doesn't know if his parents are dead, or if he was taken into care for another reason. Craig himself has admitted (once when he, Sam Christopher and Mark had all got drunk at Hathaway's house) that the fire service was the saving and making of him, and that he was heading into all kinds of trouble, until a careers advisor managed to get him doing a qualification in public services. It could be why he and Sam get on so well really. Sam has always had the potential to go the wrong way in life, certainly at school, his son was no angel, fighting and generally not doing his work.
And James knows that it wasn't all Sam's fault. The boy was as good as gold at home, well behaved and loving as anything. Robbie has tried, time and time again, persuade James that he did a good job raising Sam, and that the issues the kid had had at school were to do with the way the school handled the dyslexia, as much as Sam's own behaviour. But he still can't help but feel that he must have done something wrong
But here they both are, two young men, who have managed to make something of themselves, and in Craig's case, give back to the community that he rode roughshod over during his teenage years.
"You boys okay?" They may be in their twenties, but he looks at them both, sitting on his sofa, pale and shaky. They're still boys. And they're boys that have had a night that would have crushed some of the most robust police officers he knew.
"Mmmm" Sam says, entirely unconvincingly. Craig nods his agreement, but James isn't fooled for a minute. He won't force them to talk, it won't help, but he hopes that they know he's there to listen.
They've been watching a comedy quiz on telly for about half an hour when Craig speaks.
"Should have been me."
"It shouldn't have been anyone. Its not your fault Craig." Sam looks at him. "Not yours either son."
"Dad, it could have been any of us."
"It could have been but it wasn't. And I for one, am selfishly glad of that fact. But none of you should blame yourselves."
"He's got...he had a wife"
"That doesn't mean you deserve it any more then him Craig. Its tragic, and you're always going to miss him, but you can't let your self think that either of you deserve it." They both nod, but James isn't convinced they are really agreeing with him. He heads over to a cupboard in the corner, and pulls out a bottle of whiskey and pours them both a generous shot. Giving them alcohol might not be the best solution, but at least while they're in his home, he can keep an eye on how much they are drinking.
After a while, it becomes clear that he needs to get them both doing something. Just sitting there in silence is doing nothing except letting them both think too much.
"Right then," he says, startling them both after the quiet of the last hour. "Sam, you go and make some tea. Craig, go and have a shower, Sam's got some spare clothes that you can borrow." To his surprise, the two men get up and do what he suggested.
Half an hour later, both of them are showered and drinking a cup of tea. They are all eating beans on toast that James got Sam to start, and Craig to finish. Once they've eaten, Sam and Craig show signs of falling asleep and James encourages it. All this will be easier to deal with when they've had a night sleep.
Once they've gone, Sam to his room, and Craig to the sofa, he goes to his own room to phone Holly and explain what's happened. She knows Chris as well, knows all Sam's colleagues, and she'd want to know. He assures her that he's got it under control, and he's looking after Sam and Craig and that she doesn't need to come home. He also promises to text her in the morning when the boys are up, and he thinks Sam will be alright to talk to her.
He gets up in the night, feeling thirsty. And he's only half way down the stairs when he hears the sniffling sounds. He quietly opens the living room door, where he son's friend and colleague is sleeping.
"Craig?" The man in question turns over and hurriedly wipes his eyes, trying to hide the evidence of his distress.
"Didn't mean to wake you up."
"You didn't, I was thirsty. Are you alright?" The young man shakes his head and James comes to sit on the chair by the sofa. "Can't sleep?"
"Keep seeing the building collapse." James doesn't comment on the fact that the twenty two year old has started to cry. It'll just make him embarrassed. "Keep imagining how it must have been for Chris. He, he wouldn't have died s-straight away would he?"
"You can't know what happened Craig, its probably best you don't."
"But could he hear us trying to get to him? Did he know we were coming?" He's crying properly now, and it reinforces more then ever that these two, no matter how brave and how strong they are while at work, are still just boys when they get home.
"I don't know Craig. Nobody can know."
"I can't shake the idea that h-he th-thought we'd just left him there."
"He wouldn't have thought that kiddo. If I knew Chris half as well as I did, I'd know that he would have had every confidence his friends were coming to rescue him." The young man is still crying, trying to talk through his sobs and another voice cuts through.
"Dad?" His son is stood in the doorway, trying for all the world to look like he's just come down to see what's happening. But James knows better, he's well versed in the body language in of Sam Hathaway. The boy's eyes are red, and he's made himself look as small as he can, which is difficult, since the name is only half a foot shorter than him. "Craig? You alright?" It would have been more convincing if Sam's voice hadn't been shaking.
"Come here Sammy, come and sit down." Sam does so, and James can see his veneer crumbling. "Its alright mate." At his words, Sam gives up the fight and soon he's also crying softly. James hates seeing the two blokes like this, and he also can't help feeling guilty.
He's guilty because he's sitting there, comforting his son and a man that is becoming like a son to him, and feeling relieved that its someone else's boy that isn't coming home tonight. He hates himself for it, even as he acknowledges that its a perfectly rational response. He's always known that Sam does a dangerous job, but its nights like this that really bring it home.
Eventually, they both tire themselves out, and he elects to leave them sleeping on the sofa, rather than wake them up. They might not get back to sleep, and they desperately need the rest.
He makes them breakfast in the morning, and makes sure that they don't hear the news. He tells Craig that he's welcome to stay until his girlfriend comes back, although he's not surprised when the young man declines. He understands that need to be alone, he just makes it clear to the younger man that should he need to, the door is open.
He encourages Sam to help him with the housework, to give the man something else to think about. He lets Sam lecture him about the fact he isn't using his walking stick, without grumbling about it.
James isn't surprised when, after Christopher's funeral, Sam brings Craig back with him, and he listens as the two men talk about good memories they had of their fallen colleague.
And when Craig turns up on his doorstep a year later on the anniversary of that night, looking as upset and lost as Sam has all day; he lets him in without a word and makes him a cup of tea, while the two men console each other.