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Chapter 9
Ben asked her if she was fine and then saw as the pilot rushed to her. She looked confused. He realized what he did the moment she flew. He regretted it instantly.
The pilot was right. He'd meant to go to the bay with her but the pilots look of fear and contempt stopped him. He'd called him animal. Ben asked if she was fine again and then left for the Falcon.
His dad was working on the Falcon as always. "You're here early." He said cheerfully.
Ben did not realize he was shaking until his dad sat him down.
"What happened?" He asked and told uncle Chewie to get him water.
"I hurt her. We were training and I used the force. Rey flew and landed on the ground." Ben rushed out.
Han grabbed his shoulders. "Look at me."
Ben could not meet his eyes, "son, look at me." His dad said more forcefully.
"Tell me exactly how it happened." He said once Ben looked at him. The younger man explained in details what happened.
"You did not mean it Ben. I would recommend to stop the physical training too, at least the combat. She is skilled; she will pick up whatever you teach her in isolation." His father reassured.
Ben nodded, "I cannot train her any longer. Dad, I have to leave. It's starting again. I hurt people and things. They were scared; her pilot friend and the rest they were fearful of me."
His dad shook his head, "we have to stay with your mother. She needs us here; no more training."
Ben nodded and put his head between his legs; he was nauseous. "This was a bad idea. I should have never trained her."
Han sighed and sat next to him. "It was. Luke should have taken her in." Ben stiffened but remained quiet.
"Go shower; you smell." His father said.
Ben washed off and went to his rooms in the Falcon. "I am going to rest for a bit." He played songs and then meditated. He felt pink and stopped. Ben blocked her out completely. Rey was learning but she was far too young and inexperienced to crack his shields.
His dad woke him up. "Your mom is waiting for us."
Ben yawned and sat up. He'd changed into his dad's old clothes once more. He walked with him to their quarters. His mother had made a Corellian soup they loved. Leia never ate it much but Ben and his father lived for the stuff.
They were hungry and ate all of it. Ben had seconds. He waited for his mom to speak about what happened. Surprisingly, she did not immediately jump into a talk. Ben sat with them and waited for his mother.
Leia Organa retrieved a book and read. Ben looked at his dad who shrugged.
"You are not going to talk about what happened?" Ben asked.
Leia looked at him owlishly. "What happened?"
"Surely you must know. I trained with Rey and I threw her to the ground. I used the force." He finished.
His mother sighed, "you were training. It was bound to happen. I fail to see why this is such a big deal."
Ben felt a little relieved, "I do not want to train her anymore. I am done."
Leia nodded, "fine." He was surprised by her quick acceptance.
"Fine." He replied and stood up to retrieve dessert from his mother's fridge. He offered a piece to his dad who invited him to card game.
Ben played with his dad, "no cheating." Han said. Ben smirked. He stayed longer that night.
"Good night mom." He said and kissed her cheek.
"Sleep well." She said.
His dad hugged him goodbye as well. His parents did that. They hugged and kissed him every time he left for his own quarters. Ben did not mind it much. He had missed them very much.
Ben meditated and blocked Rey out until he fell asleep. He tasted pink; she was in front of him sleeping and then sat up.
He must have looked more than ashamed. Rey came to him and sat by his side.
"It was not your fault." She said and then touched him. "I can feel all of you." He did not remember who said it but he felt it too. She was pink and warm and just right. They hugged and after hours Ben realized that she had to go back to her own bed.
They ended up nestled on his bed. Ben held her. She was slim and somewhat average height for her age and build but she felt impossibly smaller than him.
Ben slept easier with her on his chest. He woke up alone; the connection had broken but he still felt pink and her.
Ben stood up and went about his day. He washed and wore all black. His mother kissed his forehead and had caf with him. "Your father is worried." She said lightly.
The younger man piled on toast and cream cheese. "I know he is." Ben replied. "Why aren't you?"
His mother smirked at him, "because I don't have to. I have seen you fight him every day my love. I can feel the struggle. I gave her to you because she grounded you."
Ben remained quiet as his mother continued, "it worked to our advantage. You had a purpose and trained Rey on the force."
He sighed and drank more of his caf, "My decision stands."
His mother nodded, "What do you have planned for today?"
"I am reading a book and then helping dad with the Falcon." He said honestly.
Leia sighed, "You're coming for dinner tonight?" She always asked, she always asked and Ben said yes.
"Yes." He said and finished eating his toast.
Leia kissed his cheek and left to do whatever she did with her day.
Ben entered the convoy and started reading. He really should have gone back to his room but he liked the convoy better. It was more spacious and there was natural light streaming through the clear roof. He read eleven pages before Rey came in.
"Hi." She said and sat by him.
He actively ignored her. "Ben please." She said. "I want to keep training. You said you would help. I did not dream last night."
Ben heard and felt her fear. He could not hurt her, at least not knowingly.
"You did not." He said and closed his book.
She grinned and inched closer. "Train me please." She said.
"Rey, I can't, not after what happened yesterday. I hurt you." He said.
She was angry with him now, "So I'll hurt you and then we'll be even." Rey replied.
Ben laughed at her and Rey hit him hard on the shoulder, "Stop that."
The girl frowned, "No." She hit him once again.
"Hey, that's enough." He said when she yanked his hair.
Ben stood up and left the convoy. He walked away but Rey hit him with her staff. Ben turned and caught the other staff she threw. She lunged at him, Ben moved aside but she caught his back. It was on. They combatted once again. She had a way to bend his will and do whatever she wanted.
He vowed to not train with her and here he was sweaty and working with her. He gave her instructions as she fought him. "Higher, lower, apply more force to the right." He told her. The men and women surrounded them.
The rebels came and went as the combat was deadlocked. They were done when Ben broke his staff trying to lift his weight to kick Rey's staff away. "Thank you." Rey said as she caught her breath.
"Same time tomorrow." He said and felt strange when she gave him a smile.
Ben went to the Falcon. "You smell disgusting. Get out of here." His father said.
"What were you doing? Rolling around with Banthas?" His father pushed him out of the Falcon. "You are going to stink her up. Go shower and look for your mother. She asked for you earlier."
Ben frowned, "what about lunch?" He was used to being in the Falcon for those hours.
"Change of plans kid. We are having lunch with your mother and then leaving on a mission." Han said.
Ben moved his jaw, "you are going away?" he asked.
"Yes, you, me and Chewie. We are going to Chandrila." Ben felt lighter. He was included in this mission.
"Why?" Ben asked as they walked back to base.
"Your mother will explain." Han smiled.
Ben showered and dressed quickly. He dressed in a white shirt and blue pants. The young man made his way into his parents' quarters in no time.
Ben ate everything and had dessert as his mother explained the mission. It was fairly simple. His dad and him were to visit the old senate buildings and retrieve information from the databases. Ben was also tasked to recruit and have as many men and women see him. "We need them to know that you are back. They all think you died; you are their prince. The people will have so much more hope after they see you." His mother said fervently.
"You have too much faith in me mother and I am not a prince. Chandrila does not have royalty." Ben argued.
His father laughed, "Well, your mother is a princess so that makes you a prince. The last prince of Alderaan they used to call you."
Leia smiled, "I remember, Chandrila claimed you as their prince after they called you that. I know you think it is all nonsense but it means something to them. It means hope and we need all the help that we can get."
"Mom, you are selling them lies." Ben said a little angry at her.
It was not his mother who replied but his father, "she is not. You are the last prince of Alderaan and Chandrila named you prince as well. She has the certificates and holovideos somewhere."
"I am responsible for the killing of so many. It is dishonest for me to do this." Ben thought he had gained the upper hand. There was no point in denying that he had killed many in the resistance.
His mother frowned back, "take it as punishment then. You will see their suffering, you will see the oppressed and see the how Snoke has extinguished so many in his plight for power."
"Leia." His father said warningly.
Ben felt as if he had been hit by his mother. "Is this an order General?"
Leia looked back at him with hard eyes, "it is. I love you very much Ben and it is time that you make decisions for yourself. Your decision to accept means full involvement with the rebellion." She finished.
"Yes mother." He said
His mother tried to stop herself from reaching out to him. "So you agree."
Ben nodded, "I do. You are correct. I have to commit to your plight, otherwise why am I here."
His mother could not hold it anymore and went to hug him. "You are truly back." Ben knew that a small, irrational, fearful part of her heart thought that she would never have her whole Ben back.
"I have acquired clothes for you." She said excitedly.
"These are fine." Ben said while looking at his clothes.
Han smiled, "No, son, you are going to wear old senate clothing like your grandfather Organa. You are after all representing your mother's side on this mission."
Leia grinned, "braids and all. Go ahead and change. You will leave the base in full dress."
Ben took the clothes his father offered. They were black at least. Ben had to admit he liked the leather vest and the black robes. He put on the boots and then met his mother. "You look wonderful."
Ben frowned, "I feel ridiculous." He muttered.
His father shook his head, "Stop" he mouthed.
His mother smoothed his uniform. "You are very handsome. All the girls are going to swoon when they see you leave."
Han rolled his eyes, "they already swoon. He gives all the base quite a show every day when he trains Rey."
Ben rolled his eyes back. "Could you please just do it and be done?" He was getting exasperated.
His mother set to work; she combed and untangled his hair gently. She parted his hair and made four neat braids. "Perfect."
"You look so very handsome." His mother gushed when he stood up.
"Those are my genes and looks." Han said and clapped him on the back.
Han walked out first, Ben offered his arm to his mother who took it. "Remember, the data first and then let everyone see you. "Clip your lightsaber too. Let them know who you are, let them remember."
"Mother, I am a Solo." He said gently.
"You are." She said as they walked, "you look very much like your father. He was very handsome too. You'll age nicely."
Ben made a face. "Stop thinking about him like that. It's disgusting mom." She laughed and leaned into him. "I love your father."
Ben shook his head. It was show time, the people in the hallways quieted as they saw them walk. They were taken aback by his appearance. His father was correct, there were some girls ogling him.
They reached the yards quickly, his father went inside the Falcon first. He needed to start her up and show uncle Chewie the course that they were going to take. It appeared the whole resistance was there. He could feel Rey near, she was confused, no one knew he was about to leave on mission.
Han came back and said his goodbye to Leia. "Goodbye sweetheart. Take care of yourself now." He kissed her lips gently.
"May the Force be with you my brave scoundrel." She said to his father.
"Mother." Ben said and kneeled to kiss her hand. She was a princess after all. Leia smiled, she was satisfied by her son's commitment.
"Be well Ben. May the force be with you my prince." She grinned and kissed his forehead. Ben had to crouch down for his mother to do so.
"Where are you going?" He heard her inside his head.
"Mission." He thought. "When are you coming back?" She asked him.
"I don't know."
"I will be back Rey." He said as if reassuring her. Ben did not dare look at her as he boarded the ship.