WARNING!
CUTTING IN THIS CHAPTER!
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Kakashi thought for a little bit before figuring that he would make a special request for either Sakura or Shizune to come with the recovery team and look over Naru to make sure that her wounds were completely healed.
After that he summoned Pakkun and gave him his instructions and told him that it would take at least three days to reach the village. He needed the little pug to run as fast and hard as he could without wasting time. He felt it very important that Naru was looked over before she woke up.
The first day went by easily enough for Kakashi.
He finally managed to eat something and grab a few winks before waking up and then going to shave his face. He had a little bit of a breakdown in the evening while grabbing another nap.
He'd had a nightmare about what had happened with Naru and woke up covered in sweat, a scream lodged in his throat. He jerked himself upright so that he was sitting on the floor next to the bed, where he had taken up sleeping like a faithful dog or cat close to it's master, and glanced over at Naru who was still laying asleep on the bed.
He ran his fingers through his silver hair then wiped the sweat out of his eyes and decided that it was time to get up. He got to his feet and paced around the room, trying to work off some of the nervous energy churning inside of him.
An hour passed. Then two and he just couldn't seem to unwind.
He felt like a bow string, stretched taunt, dangerously close to breaking in half.
He needed to regain control before he lost his sense of self. Because he was dangerous when he lost his sense of self and Naru was currently too defenseless to fight him off if he was to come at her.
He retreated to the bathroom and closed and locked the door, sensing that if he didn't put some sort of barrior between himself and Naru; then something even more horrible than her rape might occure.
The door wouldn't stop him, but it might slow him down. Depending on how far gone his mind was when he lost control.
He looked around for something, recalling that bleeding himself sometimes helped him focus enough to regain control of himself and caught sight of the straight razor that he'd used earlier to shave. Reaching out he grabbed it and flicked the blade open and then rolled up his shirt sleeves and put the blade against his wrist telling himself that he didn't need to cut deep, certainly not enough to be life threatening, but he did need to cut.
He applied pressure and ran the cool metal along the inside of his wrist until crimson welled up and ran down his wrist. He closed his eyes as the sting registered in his mind. This was good. But it could be better.
So he cut deeper. Not deeply enough to slice open his veins, but deeply enough to leave scars once the wound healed. He finished quickly and was about to put the razor away when he caught sight of his reflection in the mirror above the sink.
The sight of his face turned his stomach. His hand started to shake- This was no good. He was getting stressed again.
He put the razor against his arm again, this time against his forearm and started slashing almost wildly at his skin, stopping only when he started to get light headed. He wrapped his arm in some gauze bandages that he'd had in his small medical kit then rinsed the razor off and closed it and then set it on the counter before going to work on cleaning the blood on the floor with one of the hotel rags then disposed of it by using his chakra to burn it.
Once he was done he left the bathroom feeling a little dizzy, shakey, and so much better than he had before. Shortly after that, he laid back down and went back to sleep.
This time he didn't dream.
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Kakashi woke up the next day feeling well rested and...in pain.
He pushed himself upright and looked down at his right arm as he felt something trickle down his forearm towards his wrist and made a humming sound as vague memories of the night before flooded his mind. It had been ages, no years, since he'd sucummbed to the need to cut himself.
Yet it wasn't surprising to him that resent events would reduce him to this again.
He sighed and dug out some clean bandages and some ointment to put on the cuts and took a few minutes to rub the ointment into the jagged torn skin of his forearm and wrist then re wrapped his arm before getting up to go order something to eat.
He was half way across the room when Naru made a little groaning sound, giving him pause. He stopped cold in his tracks and turned his head to look at her, his mind stuttering to a stop for a moment before kicking into overdrive. Oh god- He looked around for somewhere to hide. The dread and horror from the previous days returning full force as it occured to him that Naru might be waking up.
Naru groaned again she lifted her arms and placed her hands against her face to rub at her eyes, and Kakashi's eyes widened to the size of saucers as what little color he'd regained in the past day or so, faded away leaving him as white as a sheet.
He couldn't do this.
He couldn't do this.
He couldn't face Naru!
Not yet! He wasn't ready! It was cruel to ask either of them to be able to face each other so soon!
She made another sound and dropped her hands away from her face as her eyes fluttered open. Kakashi's heart slammed against his ribs in alarm and he was dangerously close to hyperventilating.
This was it! This was the part where Naru would wake up and look at him and start screaming and going into hysterics. This was the part where she would scream that she hated him and tell him that he was trash and seal his fate.
That was what he expected. He didn't however exprect her to say, "Mornin Kashi-sensi... Did I sleep in again?"