Chapter Three – Choosing Ceremony

It feels so weird when my mom gets in my room, saying that the bus is arriving in five minutes and I have to go, I'm completely awake, though I didn't sleep all night. Thinking about the Ceremony… Thinking about Emmett. I can feel that this year Candor will have more transfers than usual.

As I go in the Candor's bus – this is the only day every faction as an exclusive bus that will only take their member to the Center. The Center is the most height building in Chicago, and unfortunately the Ceremony happens in the terrace. I never told anyone, but I'm afraid of heights, like my heart stops beating and I barely breathe.

Once we're in the Center I can see that a lot of persons still in the entry, making difficult the access to the stairs, or the elevators. I can see a group of people dressed in gray choosing the stairs, but I my mom and my dad to the elevators without asking them if they don't mind to wait. I'm not from Abnegation, so I don't have the duty to tire myself by climbing the stairs, while other people go by elevator.

While the elevator goes up I start panicking. I don't like heights, I don't like heights. I keep on thinking the same phrase until we get to the terrace. There I see all the other sixteen year-old teenagers, organizing themselves according to their last name, in the opposite order of the alphabet. I know my parents have to go to the circle where the Candors watch so I turn around to say something but I don't come up with anything. What can I say? Goodbye? I love you? That would be a lie, I don't love them; at least not as other kids seem to love their parents. In fact, I think I hate my parents for always ignoring me just because I don't fit our faction – their faction.

So I just nod and walk way. As I go find my place among the other teenagers I look for a sign of Emmett or Kate. I haven't seen them on the bus. I can't find them, so I think they might be late. It's normal that this happens, I heard. The bus makes about five trips before everyone from Candor is here.

People keep arriving and all I can think is: Erudite or Dauntless? Erudite or Dauntless?

I excluded Abnegation during the night, and Candor was never a choice, so I was left with these two. I thought about Erudite several times, mostly because I was sure it was the faction Emmett is going to choose, but I know it's not for me. And then when I got left with Dauntless I just thought: I'm not becoming a show-off. Never. So back to two factions again.

I wish there was a faction for people who don't fit in any faction, or at least not enough to choose only one. And then I realized that there is. It's called faction less.

But I'm not a faction less, I think. Faction less is someone who choose the wrong faction and then don't pass the initiation. No, I'm Divergent.

For a moment I look to the boy from Amity that is in my left, and to the girl from Erudite that is standing on my right. I'm afraid they might know what I'm thinking.

I let my eyes focus on the Erudite girl. This is a female version of what Emmett is going to be in the future. I think, and then feel the pain inside my chest. I'm probably going to trade my best friend for a bunch of show-offs with suicidal thoughts.

I look at the Amity member that is responsible for calling the names this year. Every year, a different faction gets to do it. This year is Amity's year. It's a blonde woman that is wearing a yellow dress. Doesn't fit her, it's too much yellow for only one person. She's now approaching to the microphone and I know it's going to start.

Dauntless or Erudite? Dauntless or Erudite?

She makes the opening speech and I don't hear a word about what she's saying. Instead I let my eyes focus in the five big metal bowls containing the substances that represent each faction. Gray stones representing Abnegation; glass for Candor; water representing Erudite, land for Amity; and hot coals representing Dauntless.

When our name is called, the Amity woman will give us a knife. With the knife we'll have to cut our hand and then drop the blood in the bowl representing the faction we want. I don't know how I'm going to do it, I'm afraid of knifes.

Anyway, what I'm thinking now is: It's going to be my blood in water, or my blood burning in hot coal.

"…They divided us into five factions, and tried to eradicate the features they saw as responsible for the disruption of the world." The amity woman stops to take a fast breath.

I know these words. She's telling the story of what happened after the war. Now she's going to say the believing of every faction.

"Those who blamed aggression formed Amity." She starts.

The Amity members smile to each other, but I simply think: Nope, not for me.

"Those who blamed ignorance formed Erudite."

I don't know, do I blame ignorance? I'm not that smart myself.

"Those who blame dishonesty became Candor."

I sigh. No. No. No.

"Those who blamed selfishness formed Abnegation."

I blame selfishness, I do, but I'm selfish myself.

"And finally, those who blamed cowardice became Dauntless."

Do I blame cowardice? I think I do. Maybe if we weren't all such cowards some of us could help the faction less or even me, the Divergent.

She keeps talking explain how our society works. Abnegation on the government, Erudite in school and bla, bla, bla.

And then, from nowhere I remember that phrase they taught us on primary school. Faction before blood.

I always thought it fits me, because I was ready to choose any other faction and leave my family behind, but now that I'm here, I can only wish that we could all go back home and it would be like always. Me, not talking too much but somehow still had friends. Kate and Emmett. Again my chest hurts with the thought that I'll leave them behind, but I now see that I don't care about leaving Kate, I always knew I was going to move and leave her there, where she belongs. Is the fact that I don't know if I'm ever going to see Emmett again that makes me panic.

The woman starts to call name by name, and I watch the other sixteen year old teenagers choosing their faction. I see them, and know them, but it's like it was the first time I saw them.

I notice a girl – the first to change faction from Erudite to Candor – and hear all the Erudite members making some sort of disgusting noise. Like if they wanted to spit on her. And that's when I see it; my evaluator did something right, she put Dauntless in my file. I don't even know I considered Erudite as a choice, I'm not like them. I'm a show-off, I've always been, or at least, I was always jealous of the Dauntless. Besides, Erudite was never a choice, right? They hate the name Divergent, and they will easily find that I'm one of those called Divergent. I just cross my finger and pray for Emmett to realize the same thing I just did.

I didn't pay attention to the other teenagers that were choosing their faction, so I don't know who changed faction, until…

"Isabelle Moore."

As I walk I look at the Dauntless faction. At least three transfers are there already, none of them from Candor or Abnegation. I'm going to be the first in my faction.

When the Amity lady lends me the knife I portrait myself, but then I think, this is my first challenge as Dauntless, knifes and heights. So I take the knife and cut my hand, before the first drop of blood falls in the carpet and put my hand on top of the bowl with the hot coal. I can almost feel the fire in my veins when the small drop reaches the coal.

For a minute all is silent, and then I hear the scream.

"This isn't a surprise."

I didn't saw who talked but when I turn around to the crowd after I join the other Dauntless members I can see movement in there and a blonde girl pulling the arm of a tall boy with dark hair. So then I knew, no matter if I was going alone to this new faction, I can always count on Kate and Emmett.

Another two transfers join me, again none of them from Candor or Abnegation. And that's when the lady calls "Kate Hills."

I watch Kate cutting her hand and her blood falling in the Candor's bowl, but she does it so slowly it's like she is saying goodbye instead of hello to the rest of her life, like she left a piece of her behind.

I know exactly the name that's going to be called next but my heart still skips a beat and I hold my breath while Emmett walks and takes the knife. He hesitates looking at all the bowls and then to his family, including Kate. I close my eyes when he presses the knife on his palm but I can't keep them closed for long. I watch his dark red blood draining through his arm, and then he walks toward the bowls. Once he reaches them we all watch his blood slowly falling in the hot coal.

I could swear he was smiling while he was walking towards us, but the smile is gone when he stands right by my side, not caring about the other transfer that were already standing next to me.

"No." I say. "I don't feel guilty."

He smiles again, a sad smile though, as the one he had in my porch. And again there's that pain in my chest.

I feel his finger looking for my hand and I look down to it.

"I don't regret my decision either." The way he said is very clear for me, he feels guilty, but he is okay with it. I look up again and watch the sadness disappearing from his expression and becoming the smiling Emmett, the one I missed and the one I loved… as a friend, I mean.

When he finally grabs my hand he tightens it softly. I smile too, looking at the other teenagers choosing their faction, but my mind is far from there.

I'm thinking about all the summers where Emmett didn't speak, just played with me and Kate. And then sometimes, when Kate wasn't looking he gave me one of his shy smiles, as if he was surprised with the fact that I bothered looking at him.

Again, I see, I'm not alone.

A/N: Please give me some reviews, this is like third chapter and I didn't get almost any review so I'd like you to tell me if I should keep working on this.

P.S: Fourth chapter comes after August 28th, because I'll be out on holidays from 18th to 28th.