Chapter Ten – Unexpected
"You're going to learn how to throw knifes today." Four casually throws the knife a few inches high and then catches it in the air.
I feel my heartbeat accelerate, and I hold Emmett's arm - still trembling; I think I prefer the guns now. Four glances at me and I know he knows something is wrong. Emmett, instead, pulls me closer, pretending nothing happened. "Calm down Is. You're going to be the shooter, not the target." I step forward, looking at Ethan who had to cut his dirty blonde hair to get rid of all the ink. He looks too happy now that someone told him he's going to get a weapon on his hands again. "We'll see that." I whisper back. He opens his eyes more than usual – shocked –, making its blue tone becoming lighter as if we were outside. But that doesn't last longer, as Four keeps on talking.
"But these aren't all the news I have for you." He pauses. "Tomorrow will be your last day in phase one. You'll spend the whole day, today, practicing your knife throwing and tomorrow you'll all fight twice, except for Liz and Lucas who are the ones who got to only fighting once, as you're in an odd number." I panic. I'll have to spend a whole day near knifes, or worse, near Ethan with knifes on his hands, and tomorrow I'll have to fight again… twice. Emmett holds me strongly as I'm starting to call attentions with my uncontrolled trembling. Four notices that too. "Okay. I'll throw three knives first and then you start practicing, as usual."
This time he makes sure to do it slower than he did last time, making sure no one cuts himself while throwing the knife – that's probably what's going to happen to me. After Four throws the knife he makes us stand side by side with each other, though not by alphabetical order, as when we were training with the punching bags – thank god! –, and tell us to throw our knives to the only and big target standing about ten feet away from me.
I have one knife on my right hand and two knives on my left hand. Both of them are shaking, but you can't really tell as my body is trembling too. The others are throwing their knives already. I'm the only one standing here, just looking at the knives in my hands, and wishing I had never took them from the table.
"Is!" I jump and turn around. Four is standing behind me. "Let me get this straight, you're not afraid of guns, but you're afraid of knives?" He says in a low voice, as he holds my right hand with his hand, teaching me the correct movement to throw the knife. I feel his breath in my ear. "Do it. It'll all be over by the end of the day. I promise." He gives me a meaningful look before he moves to help Emmett, who was staring at us. "I'm sorry." I whisper to Emmett, not sure why I did it. Embarrassed I turn to the target and throw my knife, just as Four taught me.
It nearly hits the center of the target, and I'm a hundred percent positive that if it weren't for the trembling I would've hit the cross in the middle of the center. Everyone stares at me. There are only two knives in the second circle; all the others are on the floor or in the third circle if not in the white part of the target. A chill passes through me. How can I be so good with something I'm afraid of?
Ignoring the others I throw the other two knives, anxious to get rid of them. The second one hit the first one and falls, the third one though, breaks the target as it passes through the center of it. I feel the other's eyes making a hole in my back as I walk towards the target to get my knives back, as I'm expected to do – not that I'm excited to have them back.
A noise passes right next to my ear and I see a knife hitting the wall in front of me. I turn around, shocked – someone just threw a knife at me.
Four is holding Emmett by the arms and Eric is standing by the door, Ethan standing side by side with him, and I'm a hundred percent sure he had knife on his hand when I turned around, but it's not there anymore. One of them threw the knife, and I'm guessing Eric did. But why? Emmett's is screaming, I can see that, but I don't hear a word he's saying. It's like my ears are still stuck in noise that came from the knife passing not two inches away from my head. Four manages to calm Emmett down and points to me. Emmett nods. Four exits the room, taking Eric with him.
Emmett walks towards me and holds my arms, his blue eyes too opened again. He says something, but I can't hear him. He shakes me, screaming something this time – or at least it's what I think he's doing. I try to read his lips, but the only thing I understand is "Is" - my name - and I remember how beautiful it sounds when he's the one to say it. How beautiful his voice is. I panic, wondering if I'm ever going to listen to it again. I start trembling again, more violently than when I had the knives in my hands and I realize both Emmett and Four were right. I shouldn't be afraid of knives when there's so much more I can lose than my own life. Emmett looks as terrified as I am – is he trembling too or is my trembling that violent?
He looks around, panicking. I look around too, trying to see what's scaring him, but everyone else staring at me as well. Ethan and Lara are even laughing, even though Andrew is not. Emmett screams something to them and they stop laughing, then he looks back at me. He shakes his head, frustrated and then takes me on his arms. I want to react, but I don't, too afraid of what's going on. Of what's scaring Emmett.
He takes me through dark corridors and I slowly stop trembling – as usual, the dark makes me feel safe, as if we couldn't be found in here. I don't know for how long we're walking, or he's walking, but I'm finally able to listen to his steps, and I sigh from relief; although the noise that knife made is still resounding in my head, it's still a progress. "I'm scared, Emmett." I try to say, but no sound comes out of my mouth. He stops and puts me on my feet again, his eyes – dark blue now – closely watching me. "I'm scared." This time I can hear a whisper, but it feels like someone else's voice instead of my own.
He makes a weird face, as if he was disgusted of what I just said, and I pull back, away from the hands I didn't notice were in my waits, keeping me steady. As always, he doesn't let me. Instead, he pulls me right into his chest, making me smell his sweet but male smell. He hides his face on my hair, which probably makes him low himself a lot, because of our ridiculous high difference. "Shh." He says. "It's okay to be afraid." But then he raises his head, putting his hands on my cheeks and looking into my eyes.
My heart races. I can feel his breath on my face, and it's even better than feeling it on my neck, which, by itself, was already overwhelming. "But you can't show it here." He says this time loudly, as if he was trying to convince himself too and makes that disgusted face again. I wonder if that's what he was disgusted about before too. By the fact that we can't be who we really are here, or at least we can't show it, because fears are part of us, they define what we can or cannot do.
He hides his face on my hair again and I strain to keep my heartbeat steady. "I'm scared too." He whispers. "I told you. Eric is dangerous. He has some sort of power in here. And it scares me that he can so easily damage any of us." I lean forward, making pressure against his chest. I don't know why I do it, this is all so new to me, all these messy feelings that changing factions caused me, but knowing that Emmett shares my fear makes me feel safe, which is completely insane. I also don't know why I raise my head and softly press my lips on his neck – his smell is more intense right below his ear. I feel his muscles tensed up, in my back, for a second – he's surprised. I shouldn't have done that.
We hear steps at the end of the hall – running steps – and I feel thankful to whoever is coming in our direction. Well, as long as it's not Ethan or his idiot friends, or Eric. But it's not. It's Maeve and Owen. They stop in front of me, looking from me to Emmett, and then back to me. I didn't notice that we both pull back, almost leaning against opposite walls, when we heard the steps. Maeve is wearing a long-sleeved shirt to cover the bruises, I'm guessing. Emmett tried to do the same thing, but he decided that it was to warm for that, so he just got back to use black t-shirts or sleeveless shirts, like the one he's wearing today.
"We've been looking for you two everywhere, you're late for lunch!" Maeve complains. "Let's go!" "Lunch?! Has it been that long?" I say as I let here take my hand and drive me to the dining room. "You took your time to… you know." Emmett explains, and Owen glances at me, as if he couldn't believe Emmett's words. "Yeah, whatever. Have you heard the news?" She stands in front of me, making me almost hit her. She looks terrified, with her eyes too open and a light coming from behind her, leaving her face in the dark, but making her figure look bigger. Emmett and Owen, who didn't stop walking, had to turn around and come back.
"It's not that big of a deal. I mean we all expected it to happen someday." Owen says, shrugging. "It's not?! Well, I don't know about you, but I expected it not to happen." "That's not what I meant! I meant…" "Can one of you please tell me what the news is?!" I nearly scream. Maeve looks around. "Keep your voice down!" She looks around again. "Eric is now one of the headmasters." I freeze and Emmett reacts instantly, making us go inside the dining room, when in fact that's just an excuse for him to stay closer to me, as if someone could attack me out of nowhere – which in fact can happen, as I've seen some hours ago.
Being in the same room with Eric and Ethan seems impossible, but Four comes to sit with us and makes it all feel safer. At least Eric won't attack us while Four is around. The silence is permanent in our table, but no one tries to make it otherwise. I exchange looks with Emmett and Four, who are sitting each by my side, and Emmett does the same with Maeve. It seems like the only one who thinks that Eric is not that dangerous is Owen. I don't know how he can look at all his piercings and not chill.
The rest of the training isn't as hard as the morning was, and Emmett manages to hit the center, just like me. I'm still not comfortable with having knives in my hands, but it's as Emmett said – I'm the shooter, not the target; though I was, this morning. Dinner becomes the weirdest part of all day – and I had a knife being thrown against me, so this is a little odd. When we get to the dining room everyone is extremely excited, apparently I'm the one that is not within the subject. Even Emmett, who instead of being excited is sort of melancholic, seems to know what's happening.
"What is it?" I ask him. "Why is everyone so excited?" He looks up to me, surprised that someone talked to him, and then looks around. "Oh, that. It's Visitors' Day tomorrow." He says and then looks at his tray, still sad. I didn't even remember that. The Visitors' Day happens once in a year, and that's the only day your parents can visit you, or you can visit them, as long as you're not an initiate.
I don't get it at first, but then I understand that just because I don't miss my family doesn't mean he doesn't miss his. I mean, they were all very close to each other in his house, I remember that. Actually, I used to be jealous of that. If my parents were more like his, I might have never left my faction, who knows?
"Emmett, don't be sad." I say, as I pick a table as far as I can from Eric's. "I'm sure your p-" Then I remember the baby who is probably born by now. I pinch my lips as I used to do back in Candor. I notice that I don't just pinch my lips just because I don't want to lie, anymore. I'm comfortable with lies now. No, now I pinch my lips so that I won't hurt people. That's something I would never be able to do on my old faction, if it was ever mine. Unexpectedly, he answers me. "No, I'm okay with that. My parents can't come, I understand. Besides, they have Kate there with them, so they won't miss me that much." He looks distracted, like when we were on the train two nights ago. I feel terribly sad for him. But if it's not about his family then, what is bothering him this time? It's probably Eric again.
Owen and Maeve don't join us at dinner, preferring to join the excitement on the Dauntless-born initiates' table, but Four comes to sit with us. He seems quite disturbed too. "What's up, Four?" I ask. "Hum… Sorry, what?" He asks back. "I asked what is wrong." "Oh, nothing." He says, standing up again and taking his tray. He didn't even touch his food for the two minutes he was sitting in the metal bench.
Emmett made me stay awake all night "preparing for the combats" even though none of us knows who we're fighting with. It was six o'clock in the morning when I decided I really needed a break. "How do you expect me to fight without sleeping?!" I complain, knowing that he is doing this for me and that he stayed awake all night as well. He walks towards a backpack he brought and opens it, taking another water bottle out and a bunch of energetic bars. "Here" He says. "eat as much as you want." "How about you?" I ask, suspicious. He's still bothered with something, and it's been too long for it to still be Eric. "Not hungry." He answers me, as he drinks a swallow of water. I take the bottle from his hands and drink too, feeling the fire inside of me when my brain thinks that I'm placing my lips in the same place he had his a few moments ago. When I'm no longer thirsty, I feel free to get mad him. "Emmett, what is really going on?" I ask, sounding far from mad. He looks down, before he answers. "I think I'm getting ill. Maybe I'll pass by the hospital before the combats. It's not a big deal." He shrugs. "Don't worry." Of course I worry, you're idiot; I care about you more than I ever thought it was possible to care about someone! Even though I don't say it out loud I think he might have heard it because he takes one of the energetic bars from the amount and eats it.
Waiting for Four in the training room is pure pain. He hid the blackboard with a white cloth, so that we can't see who's fighting who. I'm guessing in one side of the board we have the first fights and in the other side the second fights. Four enters the room in the exact moment the clock strikes eight. He is still as concerned as he was yesterday. What is happening with him and Emmett? "I know you're all excited for this afternoon, but you still have two fights before lunch." A quick glance at me. I'm the only one who hasn't shown any connections to her family – if we don't count with Emmett, who has only shown it to me. Everyone has seen Andrew crying, Liz trying to make Lucas feel better by talking about her faction when he thinks about his ex-girlfriend, and of course, Lara and Ethan are still know-it-alls from their heads to their feet. "And lunch time is at two and half for you today." Four says, pausing to see if anyone has questions. "Okay, let's get done with this." He turns to the board and takes the cloth out. As usual I look for Emmett's name before I look for mine.
First fight. He's fighting Lucas. An easy fight. Lucas must be thanking the gods that this will be his only fight today – Emmett won't make him suffer too much. The second fight is Ethan against Andrew. By the smile on his face, looks like Ethan won't care about his puppy during the battle. And, at last, me against Lara. I smile. I had my chance to revenge Ethan, but I have always hated Lara and she cheated in the capture the flag game anyway. I squeeze Emmett's hand to wish him good luck and he looks at my hand as if he was surprised for this movement. I mean, it's not like it's something we're not used to. He stands up and walks two steps, but then he turns around, walks towards me, kisses me in the forehead – making both of us blush -, whispers "just in case" and then walks toward the combat area again.
Emmett doesn't hesitate on attacking, but I can see he's choosing parts of Lucas's body that won't hurt him that much. Lucas manages to punch Emmett a few times before he puts him on the floor. In those small moments I feel a deep hatred for Lucas – Emmett's bruises were starting to heal. When the fight is over, Four sends Lucas to the hospital but tells him to come back as soon as he can.
The second fight is even faster than the first one, as Andrew starts crying two minutes after the fight starts. If I manage to win both fights today I might have a chance of not being the last one in the classification. It's Emmett's turn to squeeze my hand before my fight. I stand up and walk towards the arena. Lara seems nervous and I have to make that an advantage.
"Start." Four says. I don't need to wait longer for Lara to come from me. It's so predictable. That's what any Erudite would do. I low myself, and use my elbow to hit her knees. She falls, hitting with her face on the ground, but she stands up right after that. I do as Emmett taught me – if I don't know what she's going to do, I run; if I know, I defend myself, because defense is the best way of attack. Lara manages to hit me in the head with her right fist, when I'm trying to run from her left one. That simple punch makes me fall with my back on the floor. I bite my lips so that I won't scream; my back is covered in cuts from my previous fall, when I hit a tree. I feel the taste of blood in my mouth, and I stretch my leg, making it hit hers, and consequently she falls. I jump over her, putting my knee over her stomach. She screams due to the unexpected pressure in such a sensitive part of her body. I use that moment to punch her in the mouth. "That's enough!" Four says, crossing Lara's name on the board.
Contradicted, I stand up, using my hand to clean the blood in my face but I manage to show her a smile – she's bleeding more than I am. Emmett comes to check my lip, but Four sends me to the hospital, saying that Lara will be in the first fight of the second row. I pass through Lucas in the hall, but I hide in the dark, not wanting him to see me like this. In the hospital they check on my back and I get a twenty minutes sermon because I should have came here before. Apparently my cuts started to infect, that's why they hurt so badly, but I'm still not paying attention when they explain me how danger that is. I just listen to the nurse saying that I should come here every night for three days to put some medicine on my back. I nod and run back to the training room.
When I get there Liz is fighting Ethan, and I feel sorry for her, but she's a better fighter than I am, and far more intelligent than Ethan if we think of a practical point of view and not a cheater-searching-for-power point of view. I look at the board. Lara won with Andrew. This means I'm left with Emmett. I look at him. He looks relaxed and the sad expression he had before is almost gone. I wonder what goes on his mind.
Ethan wins by his physical strength and it's my turn again. "I surrender." Emmett says, as soon as Four says we can start. "What?! No, you can't do that!" I complain. Emmett ignores me. "You can say that I'm not brave enough to punch Is, but I don't care. I'm not fighting her, Four." "Only a brave person would say that, Emmett. But, that still makes her win." Four shrugs at the same time he turns to cross Emmett's name.
Ethan stands up to complain, but Four gives him a sheet of paper and a pencil and tells him to write the results of the combats and then deliver it on the control room, then he leaves, with the same concerned look he had when he got inside, at exactly eight o'clock in the morning.
Emmett offers me his hand but I don't take it. "I'm not going anywhere with you. That's not fair, what you did." Emmett rolls his eyes. "Is, most people would be happy if this happened to them, why can't you just let it go?" "Because I'm not most people." I answer without thinking; apparently I actually got to learn something back at Candor. "And that's why I would only do it for you." He winks. "Now let's go, I'm starving." I squint, suspicious. What happened for him not to be sad anymore? I put my hand on his and let him drive me to the dining room.
Everyone goes to Pit to wait for their families, but neither me nor Emmett are expecting visitors, so we just go directly to the dorm. But not before we pass by the hospital and take an icepack and a few antibiotics for Emmett. He says he'll take it after dinner. The nurse also tells me not to forget to go there again tonight, which basically screws me up because Emmett starts asking questions. I end up by telling him what really happened while he was been shot by dozens of paintball bullets.
"Why didn't you tell me that before?!" He asks, offended. "It was nothing." I say, wanting to shrug to make it sound more convincing, but I've tried that before and making the cuts in my back scrape my shirt is something I would prefer to avoid. "It's all part of the game." "No it's not!" He contrasts as I make him lay on the bed, shirtless, so that I can put some ice on his face, chest and back – one at the time. When almost all of the ice is melted already he insists that he should put in on my lip too, so I lean against our pillows and let him do it.
We remain in silence as he softly touches me in the face with the icepack. When the ice is melted he puts the icepack – now full of water – in the other bed and passes his fingertips through my face, as if he was trying to memorize how every part of it feels like. I close my eyes and let the burning warm my whole body, starting by my right hand, which is laced on his left one, and on my face, where he's slowly caring me with his fingertips. After a while he has his thumb on my lips, and he's moving it from the right to the left. I open my eyes, alert and curious. He's smiling. My heart skips a beat and then races – I'm afraid he might hear it in this silence.
"Would you like to go to the Pit?" I ask him, feeling my lips moving against his thumb. He stands up, pulling from me, and then put his arms around me to keep me steady. "I need to put my sneakers on." I say, blushing. He laughs, but let's me go after he's sure I won't fall. I take some minutes to put my sneakers on, but once I'm ready I lace my hand on his and get out of the dorm, turning the lights off before we cross the door.
The walk until the Pit is short, and when we get there we barely recognize it. It's full of people dressed with different colors. Our eyes immediately look for a combination of black and white clothes. We find some, from older transfers, both parents visiting their children, as the opposite. But when our eyes meet the last person we expected to see today - the person that from all the ones that could've come was the only one that was supposedly forbidden to do it - we both let our hands go of each other's and I feel the pain in my chest.
She looks down, to the floor, and she's too quiet. Both unusual actions in her. I wonder if things are changing in Candor too. Her blonde hair flies when she moves her head and her brown eyes meet us. I almost forgot how beautiful she is. After a brief moment of hesitation when I look to Emmett and he nods, we run to her. Emmett shakes his head confused as we run but he takes her on his arms as soon as we get to her. I wait for him to put her back on her feet to show how surprised I am for the fact that she came. For that fact that she was the one to come.
"Kate?"
A/N: Hi! So I was feeling that Is was losing her Candor perspective, and we didn't want that, did we? So this is my try to get it back, in many ways. What do you think? Some reviews would be more than welcome, and thank you so much for reading (: H